genessia | 3 || Log || Evening of 12/1

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3 || Log || Evening of 12/1

Who: Sarah Jane Smith and You!
What: A little Holiday decor shopping and decorating at home!
When: Friday Evening (12/1)
Where: Hamete Strip Mall, later Holly Ridge Apartment #301
Warnings: None as yet

It wasn't London, but the biting cold and bustling bodies did make things perfectly familiar. As it was, Sarah was bundled up under a rather fluffy coat and a beanie that was close to her favorite one as she could come up. Modern fabrics were a bit odd but she wasn't going to complain so long as her ears were warm. Her toes weren't quite there yet but the hot chocolate in her hands would keep those warm until she could buy a few pairs of proper, fluffy socks.

But fluffy socks and warm toes weren't the only thing on her mind as she pushed through to the strip mall. It was a fair distance from work, but a bit closer to home. It was the best place she could think of to get what she needed to brighten up her apartment to reflect the spirit of the holiday!

"Oh, I miss the TARDIS sometimes. Make this so much easier." And warmer. She shivered again ans started through the mall, looking for any sigh of stores with just the what she wanted.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Carrying the tiny tree, lights, garland, stockings and everything else had been quite a chore! But she'd managed it and now that she was warm and cozy in her apartment she could start. No chimney, but the stockings she'd bought (five in total) could go right under the window sill! Once she finished writing all the names on them of course.

It was a sad sort of smile that graced her lips as she traced out four names beside her own on the white fluffs of the stockings. Gold letters for Harry, silver for The Brigadier and well, the Doctor had a mix of red and green letters. Then came Benton's stocking, which did get her snickering as she pulled out the blue pen. And finally, in a nice Christmasy cranberry, her own name.

"There. Now." She looked over at a box, a four foot tree inside it, "Time for the tree then work around the room." It would hardly be her first Christmas alone, but it would be her first Christmas truly on her own.

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Rose laughed. "I bet Fluffy would give you a room if you asked," she pointed out using her usual tongue-touched grin.

Sarah turned, smiling beneath the muffler round her neck. She pushed it off and laughed, "Oh I'm sure but." She shook her head, "S'not my time anymore. But I'll be sure to visit. What's the Christmas holidays without friends?"

Rose just paused and marveled at the other woman, slowly shaking her head right back and shrinking into her jacket and scarf. "I don't know how you do that." She shivered. "I can't," she closed her eyes and snorted. She'd offered, asked the Doctor to take Sarah Jane along in the future too. Well, Sarah Jane's future anyway. And her answer had been pretty similar. And even now...

The problem wasn't the heartbreak for Rose. She could deal with that. Had, in fact. It was letting go. She hadn't the faintest idea how to. How to accept that things just had a time and place. Earth ended... and yet... for Rose it didn't because she lived and traveled when it was still alive and well, traveled to when the descendents of Earth had intermingled and been great "mutts" and populated New Earth. Caused the end of everything just for wanting her Dad back, and then even when she got everything she thought she wanted? Ran away to be back with the Doctor.

"I got... everything I ever thought I wanted. Perfect job, great friends, a Universe where no one knew my mistakes, and the family I always wanted... and I still came running back to the Doctor, because..." More scrunches. Something Amy said. "A universe without him, wasn't one I wanted to be in," she said softly and shook her head.

"I mean, I did try movin' out before. Couple of times. But Fluffy and I would get in some pretty bad fights about it and it's just... not worth it. But the whole..." she scrunched her face impossibly more and gestured with both hands. "Not my time thing????" A nervous laugh and more headshakes. "I can't. I can't do endings either! I never read the end of books unless I know there's gonna be more! Still haven't finished Harry Potter.

"But even with the Doctor like... a thousand years beyond me? Nothin' doin'. I can't just -- I dunno. Put it all into place. Like 'And now there's life beyond Rose.'"

Of course that had been part of her problem with meeting Sarah Jane at first. Life before Rose.

"Do what?" Oh. Leave him. Well to be fair, he'd done it first. Sarah had simply grown tired of waiting and was not yet settled enough to even contemplate pining. She missed him, yes of course. Her best friend after all but she had an entire life ahead of her.

"I don't remember ever trying to leave him." She gave a soft laugh, "I remember pouting like a child when he did ask me off. I missed GAlifrey but, well human." She shook her head, looking at Rose for a moment before grabbing the woman's han dand heading in the opposite direction of the mall.

"Come on. This isn't for the outside of a stripe mall. There's a tea place I found. Not pretty but it's good." She paused at the light, turning to look at Rose, " And there's always going to be something after. Something before him, and something after him." She smiled, "He walks in eternity you know."

"No, I mean... that." Rose closed her eyes and let Sarah Jane lead along, trusting her implicitly. "Leaving him I could do," Rose chewed her bottom lip and rolled her eyes, "Except he won't let me." Which she had mixed feelings itself on.

"The whole.... Tchaaaa... walks in eternity thing," she laughed and shook her head. "I've seen him die so many times. No regeneration, no hope for it." Not to mention his stupid ass suicide attempt here, then memory wipe. And people wondered why she was mad. "Don't get me wrong, I'm really glad he's married, and found people, but that whole-- 'Oh it's not my time," thing? You sound like his wife." A wince, and quite firmly, "That's not a bad thing! I envy it," HUFFFFFFF. "I just don't know how to do it. To say 'Things end. Everything has their time and place.' I'm more like... um....? Him??? Meddlesome. And can't leave a good mystery alone, and can't let people just do stupid things when there's a better way, and can't just--" She gestured dramatically with her free hand, "Life beyond Rose."

She closed her eyes and snorted quietly. "One time I tried was with my Mum and Pete and Tony, and I still went after the Doctor, and he tried to send me back to 'em. Closest I could do, and it still all collided like a 5 car train smash-up, yeah?"

There's a knock at Sarah Jane's apartment door - does she answer?

"Oh please, yes. He brought that up any chance he could. I know he's a Timelord but really." She waited for the light and to get on the other side of the street before leveling an eyeroll at Rose, "His wife, really. It's not my time. Nothing to do with that at all. I've my own life and adventures to have now, without teeth and curls or." She smirked, "Or fluff and eyebrows."

Sarah put a hand on Rose's shoulder, looking the younger seeming woman in the eyes, "There is life before Rose, there was life before Sarah. And there will be life after both of us. That doesn't mean the life with us won't be important. If eyebrows still remembers, so long after, I'm fairly sure your memory won't ever end."

Rose stuck her tongue out the side. "Except there isn't!" she protested, but sounding cheerful enough with her tongue-touched grin. "We're both right here, right now. Time outside us doesn't mean anything, anymore than," she waved her free hand. "That fact that he can go back to a hundred sunsets ago and never need to sit still if he doesn't want ta!"

She crinkled her nose with memory. A sterner jaw, piercing blue eyes, and a haphazard grin, Not a bad life is it?

Better with two.

And then Rose just groaned about memories in general. He was more to her than just memories. He was living and present. That was her whole point. The idea of separating time into barricaded lines, instead of throwing them into a melting pot or picking and choosing, of being tied down to time after the freedom of not even that having a hold on her.

"Can we talk about anything else? There's a feminist rule that when two women get together they have to talk about something other than the same man, isn't there? It might be after your time, but I'm followin' it here on out," Rose huffed.

"Not the same man. Same body and soul, but hardly the same man. I remember him saying, er when he was a bit of a blond." And she does giggle at that because really, a cricket outfit? "A man is the sum of his memories. The man I know, hasn't met you yet." Nose scrunch, "At least I don't think he has. Have you run into a silver haired, velvet wearing face or one with far too many curls, teeth and sweets?"

There was a danger to a melting pot. Everything fused together, became one, gelatenous substance. Sarah wanted to be her own self, her own adventures. Not just a continuous run along with two dozen others. They all deserved to be their own, not just a lump that ran the risk of getting stuck to the bottom and forgotten.

"Hmm, yes but I didn't bring him up. You did. I was talking about Christmas crackers and tinsels." She has a little glint in her eyes and rather knowing smirk on her lips. "So, ergo, rule doesn't apply."

She does! With a mouth full of Christmas cookie and holiday music playing in the background. Sarah gives a little, mph, of surprise before swallowing the cookie bits.

"You! Get in here! I don't care about alien biology, you'll get your death out there!" And if he doesn't come in on his own, you bet she'll drag him straight in!

"Nope," Rose popped the p, and refrained from calling him sexy. No need to go there.

And of course the Doctor would say he was the sum of his memories. That way he still felt the same when he changed faces and personalities even. Tch....

"Nuh-uh!" Rose scrunched her face up! "You were the one talking about time and separating it all proper generations and centuries or whatever!" More face scrunches. "S'far as I'm concerned, hang all o' that!" A stubborn pout, "Do what you want and make it up as you go." More pouts!!!

It's a good thing Sarah Jane was familiar with the most childish, petulant, and stubborn versions of the Doctor, because Rose was all of that in the worst ways to make the Doctor look well -- reasonable in comparison.

"And he's still the same -- where it matters. Memories. But core too. Like um. Pete and my Dad. Same where it matters. My Mum too. Same where it was bloody annoying," she cursed with a small rueful grin and shook her head, "But same where it mattered."

"Ha, oh no, you asked and I answered. And it's not all that easy from what I've come to understand." Or so he'd tried to explain to her. She still remembered the change to her own time despite the fact that she knew it had been there. The idea still send a stray shiver up her spine. Monsters and menaces didn't scare her, but the idea of not existing?

"You've been around him far too much." She's just going to blink and sort of look Rose up and down, "And how well has hanging it all and doing as you want gotten you?" Because this wasn't the TARDIS or space or UNIT. It was an average world, with sub-average people and strange happenings, but the Doctor didn't seem to be the cause of it nor was he the only one brought here to save it.

The hardest thing Sarah was learning was going back to normal after everything a blue box could give you. "Is he? He didn't have that darkness in his eyes when I knew him. Anger and madness, oh plenty of that, but the rest?"

Anyone else in the Universe, including Jack, and Rose would have shut down completely. As it was, she was bordering it. There were almost audible clicks of her gears turning in her head and her face got a lot stonier and darker, the darkness of Rose's own private war, the way Eyebrows-Doctor called it. Despite what Amy thought, Rose was still extremely overprotective of the Doctor, even from his own friends, and always from himself.

Literally having to school herself not to be extra bratty, and retort back snark that it worked out just perfect, ta -- Rose reminded herself it was Sarah Jane Smith. She could fool two universes over, the Doctor himself, Rose herself, but Sarah Jane Smith knew a lot more about a lot of things; including Rose herself. Still, even in spite of that, even with reminding herself that, with the promise she'd made herself to take Sarah Jane up on the offer if she ever needed help -- and Rose wasn't so stupid as to pretend she didn't need it right now!! -- she was very near shutting down. Even Jack had he pushed it that far would have been shut down and out, and Rose's expression completely stilled.

"Yes," Rose growled firmly, and gave Sarah Jane's hand a gentle warm squeeze. "He's absolutely still the same where it counts."

A deep breath, and Rose closed her eyes.

She wanted to run away. Run to him. The one person in the multiverse who could understand and he couldn't anymore.

It was weird feeling lonely even holding the hand of a friend.

Maybe it was only the MetaCrisis who could understand her now. But the thought made bile rise in the back of her throat. She didn't want to believe that. The Doctor was the Doctor.

There were so many things Rose couldn't say. Wouldn't tell anyone. Not the Doctor, not Sarah Jane. No one. Except... MetaCrisis if he was here. She was beginning to feel like he was an imaginary friend, a splitered version of the Doctor she'd made in her head to deal with the fact that he'd moved on without her. To deal with the fact that she'd committed genocide and murdered shadows and maybe-lives that didn't exist and never were and that she'd thought didn't count but maybe the blood still stained her hands and soul.

Rose stuck her chin up. "I'm still the same Rose Tyler who ran away with him years ago too. Smarter, wiser, sadder, but still Rose Tyler." Rose closed her eyes and shook her head. "Amy thought I was the Doctor when she first met me." She bit her bottom lip in thought. "My Mum always said we were like that. Two peas in the same loony pod," Rose grinned. "But I'm still more stubborn than him. Believe it or not." She rolled her eyes. "Kind of a problem, actually." At least she knew it?

Reluctantly, she confided the one secret she'd share with no one else (except Meta, and again she couldn't so --), "I've been spending... not enough time with him. Ahhhh it's..." a frustrated growl, "Complicated. We went from... we never spent a minute apart. Everything was just better together." She closed her eyes again. If they were going to talk about it, they were going to talk about it, and running away was only putting her in circles. Circular fights, circular depression, circular everything. "And even when I fell into Pete's world, I fought tooth and nail to get back." She ground her teeth. "And now we can't figure that out, yeah? All my fights with Fluffy were about that. Every last one. And Bowtie and Guitarist --"

Rose stopped talking.

She hadn't shut down, but there was only so much she could keep those gears from closing off.

The one person in the multiverse who should have gotten it, didn't. So she didn't have much expectation for anyone else to get it. And talking about it hadn't solved anything yet, so Rose had little to no hope that it ever would either.

Edited 2017-12-18 05:27 (UTC)

Sarah squeezed her hand back and didn't let go. She was not the Doctor, and as much as she loved him she was glad of that. Sarah stood on her own, even the first moment she'd stepped out of the TARDIS she'd done as she had always done. Charged in, and let nothing stop her.

"Rose." She bit her lip and pulled the other woman towards her, resting her hands on the blonde's shoulders. "Look at me." Brown eyes looked into brown eyes, fierce and warm and wise. Not as wise as they one day would be, but the potential was there. Waiting. For moments like these. Moments when words and gestures were needed in place of rage and confusion.

"You just said it yourself. You're still Rose Tyler. Whomever that was and whomever that will be. But it's you. It...isn't easy. Watching that box vanish into thin air, but you're stronger for it." She squeezed her shoulders and smiled. A sneaky one that still held that little thrill that got her way with Doctor.

"But there is a point, where being too stubborn gets in the way of getting what you were being stubborn for in the first place. Obviously you were and are in love with him." She made that distinction, mostly to clear the air before anything came up. Sarah loved her Doctors, but she was never in love with them. Maybe the adventure, but nothing more. "Tell me, come on, what do you want with brown eyes? Why'd you fight so hard to find him. What does the Doctor mean to you?"

Rose snorted.

Of course she was in love with him.

Had told him so.

Granted, too late hypothetically, but then she made it not too late and --

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

What did she want?

Freedom.

Was that what the Doctor had meant to her?

Yes.

Freedom from everything. Even gravity. Freedom from society, from time, from normalcy, from jobs, from complacency, from family and obligations.

And it twisted her stomach into knots.

They'd run away from everything, and so had she.

The guilt that Rose had been grappling with for months piled up at once, but she refused to let it drown her.

"Freedom," Rose mumbled, eyes open, but looking down, refusing to meet Sarah Jane's eyes. "Adventure, friendship, getting to laugh even when we got exiled by the Queen," she turned her head sideways and looked out at the street.

Once, she'd thought he needed her. He had too.

She was sure of it. And he'd said so. That MetaCrisis needed her even if she felt tricked.

Maybe that was her issue? Being replaced?

No. That was laughable. No one else was Rose. And if anything, she was fighting so hard, because she didn't want anyone else to feel like replacements. Just as she never wanted MetaCrisis to feel that way either. He was his own person. Jack too. And Martha. And Amy and River.

No.

If anything, she just felt... trapped again. Trapped in time. In her bad choices. Like always. Somehow before, he'd always made her get away from those things. Everything that had ever trapped her. Her poor grades, her rash fighting attitude, her snarking back in the middle of class instead of studying, from the moment he took her hand and told her to run, he'd been liberating her from things holding her back that she couldn't even see or fight before.

But she was the one.... not chaining herself up, but accepting being bound.

For what?

For others.

Was it worth it?

It didn't matter.

What was important, was him. What could she do about it? What could he? What could they do together, or for each other?

He felt trapped too, but it wasn't like Rose was willing to try to take things normal like... normal people.

She had been willing once. So long as he was with her. Get a mortgage to share. 'Settle down' in the far far future. Help him live like normal-ish.

And they didn't even have to do that here! Tardis > apartment, as she was telling Sarah Jane.

What did she want from the Doctor?

The thought crushed her inside.

"He's still... All of him promised, he'll always be my best friend," Rose mumbled.

That was the most important thing. That was what she wanted.

And yet...

Ugh she wanted to run, desperately wanted to flee the conversation. Anyone else, the Doctor, Jack, Donna, even MetaCrisis and there was no power in the multiverse that could have kept there either.

"It's not that I can't just be friends!!!" Growl growl growl!

Deep bad wolf breath, like she's about to huff, puff, and blow down brick pig houses.

"But we're all tied up in new chains and we can't just be Rose Tyler and the Doctor anymore, and that's fine!" It was too. She'd been the one always trying to get the Doctor to reach out and get more people, more friends, and she was proud of him for doing it, even more knowing how hard it was for him -- although Jack... well it was a separate issue. "Except I can barely figure out who Rose Tyler is on any given day, much less Rose Tyler and the Doctor, and everyone keeps changing it, and nothing lets it be as simple as it needs to be!" she snarled a feral wolf growl, fully frustrated, and all the things she couldn't or wouldn't tell Amy finally coming out.

"I want him to be him, and me to be me, and I can't tell him who he is, and he keeps expecting things of me and it just makes me want to do the opposite to spite him!" more feral snarls. "Because if there's anyone who doesn't get to define me anymore? It's him!" All the snarls. "Yes, I'm in love with him, and that's just--" she growled even more, "Even stupider." There's a flash of hurt and anger in her eyes. He hadn't meant to hurt her with it, but he had, and he'd done it knowing it would hurt her, knowing it would hurt him, just deciding he had to do what was best.

She was half tempted to claim if she knew how to stop loving him then she would, but it was ridiculously far-fetched even for her. It wasn't that she loved him that was the problem. It was that she couldn't reconcile it against everything else. It wasn't that she didn't want to love him anymore. It was that she was very over the complications, but that's what love was. Complications. Only she wasn't good at handling them. Never had been. That's why his freeing her from them had been such a lifesaver for her.

"I don't want to love him," her eyes narrowed. It was funny, the semantics of it. She wouldn't change herself from being love with him, but she refused to act on the love. Funny that. "I want him to love other people and not hurt me," she blinked fiercely, her heart in her throat, and trying not to get even more emotional in the middle of the street of all places. Well, better than the tea shop. If only just barely.

She spread her free hand helplessly. "But it seems like that's all we do to each other these days. Whatever the version. Bowtie just grins and bears it so I don't have a meltdown and make everything worse, Guitarist openly said he can't handle it much better than I can, and Fluffy got suicidal... before you came. And a lot when it was me and him..." she glanced off distantly again. And ground her teeth. "So he's promised to be my friend..." she laughed bitterly starting to cry and pressing gloved fingers to them. "But I'm just painful for him to be around. Some fair trade, huh?"

Sarah couldn't help the sad smile that crossed her face. It wasn't pity, she had far too much respect for others who had no doubt seen what she had or survived anything remotely similar. Or worse things. But this wasn't just The Doctor.

"Rose," she gave a soft chuckle, putting her hand on the other woman's cheek, hopping the warm fuzz of her gloves could get the woman to focus for a moment. "Look at you, all growls and huffs. Who's Rose Tyler? She's the woman right here with me. The one that survived travelling the cosmos with one of the most infuriating, brilliant, stubborn creatures in the universe." Her eyes were wide and warm, she'd knew how Rose felt.

Not exactly, she'd never had to deal with anything deeper than true friendship, but being left or shunted off. She shook her head and grinned. "Well there you go! Don't let him define you. You don't need anyone to do that 'cept you. Not even me." Especially her, she felt. "And you can love him. You just don't have to be in love with him. It's very different. But, and here's just something from me when dealing with him in two faces. And you don't have to listen to a word of it." So very different from each other, but that was something else. Something just for her to explore, one day.

"It's not your problem. Yes, he's your best friend. He's mine too, and ten twenty, or fifty new faces isn't going to chance that. But, you know, he's a grown man, Mr. Timelord of the universe. He needs to grow up on somethings, and letting you be happy? Think that's one of them."

Rose's eyes narrowed and she snorted at the first part, it was pretty true, but yeah. "I'm way more stubborn than him," she growled and huffed again.

"No!" Rose growled again. "I can't stop being in love with him, that's..." her fighting expression and stance faded away. "I can't. But I don't have to romance him. And I won't." A quiet snort. "Not for him. Not even for me. But because others are in love with him, and if I do anything, it'll take over until there's nothing left."

Rose ground her teeth. "No, he doesn't have to grow up. Not ever." She shook her head. "Never ever." She sighed and huffed. "Amy yelled at me, told me to grow up, and it just made me want to do the opposite. And like I said, she thought I was him at first. Let him be him. Childish and bratty. And whatevah else he wants. But then I'm going to be me, and he can just deal."

"Yes, I know. And it hardly helped him no did it." Not a question because she knew well where being stubborn tended to get her Doctor. Usually locked up or his head in a noose.

Or her tied to a table.

She raised an eyebrow, "Your contradicting yourself. But then so does he. Doesn't help anyone, but if that's the way of it. Suppose it'll do. Childish and bratty are nice, but not very helpful. Always was the problem." To be fair she did love it as well but there was only so much of it one could take before it just became to much. Loved him though she did, sometimes being childish hurt far too much.

Rose threw her hands up in exasperation. "Why does he have to be helpful?! Why can't he just be him?! He runs around trying to help everyone so much, who's looking after him?"

"And what him would that be? I know he's himself at the very core of it. Brave, stupidly stubborn, and a good person." Alien. Whatever, it all came down to 'being' anyway.

"So, what him are you waiting for? What him did you blast through time and space for? And don't say all of him, other wise you wouldn't be pouting about right now."

Rose choked on that.

Him-him.

"Can we get tea now?" she asked sounding and looking nearly as heartbroken and dejected as that question made her feel.

She took a deep breath, closed her eyes, desperately wanted to run away again. To wall off Sarah Jane and give back no answers.

She blinked fiercely trying not to cry in public.

Was she waiting for Meta?

Nothing for it at this point, was there?

But he couldn't come. If he was.... he'd have been there already. Why had Rory come? And gone?

She was proud of herself for not crying in the middle of the street, but that was about all she could hold up.

Sarah Jane in the future, Rose's past, said that some things were worth getting your heart broken over. She wasn't broken hearted though. She was angry. She was smashed-hearted. Crushed.

"I never asked him to be human, and it's not his fault he was made, and it's not his fault he's not here, and I'm not waiting for him."

That part hurt more than most of the rest. Would she want him to wait for her? She wouldn't. And yet she was still mad at the rest of the Doctor for what? Sealing her off again? Not for moving on past her, but cutting off her ability to follow.

What was it Amy said? The cracks? Maybe he'd always thought Rose would find a way through?

No. He didn't even want her to.

Just as well, wasn't it?

But it didn't change anything. At least not their emotions. Who they were. It only limited what they could do about it. And she hated that. Instead of flying, strings and chains to trap them both apart.

"If I was, I wouldn't'a slept with Jack," she said quietly looking at the street somewhat brokenly.

Which him did she break through time and space for? The real him. And that hurt to think too. Meta Crisis was still the Doctor, whatever she said initially. But he wasn't the same. And he wasn't the idiot who decided he had to move on beyond Rose Tyler. And he wasn't the one she'd torn apart universes for. The one she thought she'd spend the rest of her life with. Well, now he was... and maybe it didn't matter. She turned Jack immortal, what did she do to herself? Didn't matter. Even being immortal wasn't enough to keep Jack from getting ditched and abandoned. Being a weapon wasn't enough to keep from letting him hurt River and her covering for him, covering for the pain, having to pretend to be as invincible as Jack.

And it all makes Rose want to scream out loud again, and she just glares up at the sky, daring it to do something to her. Rain daleks. Anything.

"I'm mad because he's a lousy friend. And I'm a lousy friend. Hell, I'm a terrible person. And he keeps backing himself into a corner! Forget me and him, it doesn't matter. I can love him with every fiber of my being, and it doesn't change a god damn thing!"

Choices had been made. Choices that were yet to be made wouldn't change the outcome just because of it.

Loving him wasn't enough.

Not by a long shot.

What was love anyway?

A promise he forced her to break? She loved Jack, not the same as she loved the Doctor, but a fierce devoted protective --

Je ne sais quoi.

She wanted to protect the Doctor by protecting his friends. From getting hurt the way Rose had.

And that, more than everything else crushed Rose.

Shouldn't she just trust him?

But she couldn't. Didn't anymore. Didn't know how.

If she was waiting for a Doctor....

It was one who didn't exist. A fictional one in her head that would rescue her and they'd both be free again.

So the solution was not to wait.

But then what? Let everyone else get hurt? She never would let that happen, above all else. She could be breaking apart inside out, but it was still better than being selfish like she already had for the Doctor and hurting everyone else in the process.

"I'd really like that tea, Sarah Jane," she mumbled numbly.

Sarh bit her lip, watching the younger seeming woman break bit by bit. She sighed and just pulled her close. Not so much a hug as...well, someone to hold on to. There was a lot she didn't know or didn't know yet, but it wasn't really too important. It wasn't now, for her, and one thing she ahd learned from both her Doctors was learn from the past, but leave it there. Never try to predict the future, simply live in the moment until it got there.

Had he forgotten that somehow?

Looking at Rose it felt like it. That this young woman had been dragged about the universe and who knew what else.

"Let's get your tea then. But I'm not letting this drop. Not when all of you are being completely stupid about the whole thing."

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3 || Log || Evening of 12/1

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