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[the Doctor is outside Attleton University, wearing his sunglasses on his head, seeming to have every intention putting them on despite the fact it's night time]

Right, so.

Three items.

First, I am obligated to have a class this December despite the fact that, like you and everyone else, I'd like to skive off. But I can't and neither can you. So, to that end, read or watch Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol, I recommend the Muppet version, and on the fifteenth we'll discuss the interrelation between concepts used in the Christmas Carol and quantum physics. There will also be crackers, various amounts of alcohol, and any food you care to bring. Invite friends.

Second, I am in the market for an assistant, hours and pay negotiable. Reply here or at my office if you're interested. It's a pretty easy job and I won't work you the holidays. And if anyone wants to cheekily show up in a revealing outfit and tell me they'd like to assist.... well depending on who it is, it just might work. Anyway, let me know.

Thirdly... [he drops his sunglasses onto his face] I'm in the mood for Christmas cheer so if you find a wreath or an unexpected box at your door full of fruitcake, don't worry, it's just me.

Just call me... [and he drops his hands to rev something that sounds like (and is) a motorcycle] Doctor Christmas. [victory salute]

Peace out, babies.

[and the feed ends.]

[the Doctor will be depositing wreaths on doors and fruit cakes on doorsteps basically everywhere. He can occasionally be caught straddling his bike and drinking either cocoa or frosted eggnog from a roadside vendor or a nearby cafe. Feel free to catch him in the act or catch him whenever]

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[UM. EXCUSE YOU. It's not like she based her entire dimension cannon around the Great Gonzo's cannon flying escapades, what!?]

[Christmas crackers though. :3333]

[She still has the photo of them wearing theirs from when he first regenerated.]

[She wonders if he remembers. Or gets nostalgic.]

[Or if Fluffy does.]

[Well, Fluffy must, right?]

[The stupid motorcycle rev is the worst part.]

[That's it, she's gone.]

[She runs outside in her chav clothes and an absolutely ridiculous Christmas top -- rebellion to his human self, jumps on the back of the bike, slings her arms around him and closes her eyes.]

[For this split second, everything is right in every single universe, and she doesn't care about anything.] Show me some physics tricks Gonzo never knew, Doctor Christmas. [Laughs.] And I'll assist you however you want wearing whatever silly French maid outfit or whatevar! [Yet more laughs as she moves her arms to his waist, and again, all is right in multiple universes, and she doesn't care about anything else.]

What kind of work do you need assistance with? I am in the market for a job.

OK, first of all, that sounds like an awesome lesson, and I may show up even though I know nothing about quantum physics.

And second, I just thought you should know that your Christmas spirit has my official Genessia City Deputy Guardian seal of approval. Spread that cheer, good sir!

[Thumbs up!]

It's different when it's you. But I'll always ask for your help when I need it, Rose Tyler. Here. [he hands her a helmet]

You ready to ride, bad girl? [revs the bike]

Simple stuff. Making tea, getting groceries, handing me beakers and telling me I'm clever. [grin] Be there to be vented to or talked at or give solid and wise advice to be ignored. It's difficult to be free when there is nothing to rebel against.

What do you say?

Well thanks for the first, but take back the second if you would. The last thing I want anything I do to be officially approved. [a shudder] Once that starts its' all downhill and would you please be President of the World and make all the hard decisions for us because we don't want to handle the responsibility.

I really need to break that habit. You see what I mean.

Always.

[Puts it on and snuggles his back. She doesn't even care about anything else right now.]

It doesn't sound outside the realm of my abilities.

Hmm... would a non-official approval be OK? Because I can't really not approve of Christmas cheer being spread, and all.

Also, am I the only one who thinks 'President of the World' sounds like a title a six-year-old would come up with?

Well you don't sound particularly enthusiastic about it. [there was a difference between a long-suffering feeling of an odd sort of freindship and have to do this for the bossman.]

I can't stop you. [but he also doesn't care whether you approve or not] Humans were the ones that picked it out. [make of that what you will]

Or someone can just sneak in and just rearrange things until you notice.

[He blinks at him.]

You didn't list enthusiasm as part of the job. That's not exactly one of the things I'm good at.

[He really isn't.]

[smiles and guns it. He's not entirely sure where to take her. Somewhere fun. Perhaps in Nova City. Would she like a night club? Or maybe a museum? It's not like he had to impress her, of course. But he still sort of wants to. Though that's not at all why he's going faster than he probably should.]

[Heeeeee.]

[Fast bike, holding onto the Doctor, life is perfect.]

WEEEEEEE!!!!!

[Take her anywhere, she's happy just to be going.]

OK. Approving totally unofficially then.

[And making a mental note to specify that if he ever publicly approves of something you do again. Because he's kinda a smartass.]

Also? Ouch. Though at least they didn't call you King or Emperor or something; that would've just been embarrassing all around.

[you think that's cool, just watch]

Hang on! [and he flips open a little panel to press a switch he had no idea what it did. Fire flared out the back, sending them at incredible speed toward a building. The Doctor massively hoped it did what he thought it did and then wondered how it was going to do it from face on.

At that last minute he had the mad genius idea to pop the bike, which he did, control wobbling just a bit as they began to go up the side of the building.

Excellent.

Though a bit draggy. He'd have to make some anti-grav for this thing]

Hmm. [he didn't exactly mean a perky coffee lady type, but he didn't want someone to actively hate him either. Still, there was only one option that he could see]

What do you say to a trial after the new year.

That happens regardless. [the TARDiS did it as a matter of course] Want to go for a ride, Sarah Jane? [revs his motorbike]

Right? I think I would have quit. President at least has the aura of people's choice about it even though it's not always the case. Anyway I don't care to rule. You can't travel and every problem gets pinned on you. Not to mention legacies... Overrated if you ask me.

[Unenthusiastic and hatred are two different things.]

That sounds fine, thank you.

[It takes her breath away. She holds on tightly, leans forward, and up slightly, laughing manicly as they race up the building side.]

[More thrilled shrieks.] I love it! Woohoo! [Enjoying the wind rushing by and leans up even more to kiss his cheek.]

[he has to tilt forward so that they land on the roof and he skids to a stop, putting his foot down so it doesn't go over the other side]

Well-- Not quite as good as a mad blue box or a fantastic yellow care but it'll do in a pinch.

Nuh-uh!! [Nuzzles his neck!] It's fantastic. Just as is.

We should have had a picnic... Though I suppose that doesn't really fit the aesthetic... That's what kids like these days, isn't it? [the engine is still idling and he puts a hand absently over hers as he looks out over the skyline] It's a beautiful place for a holiday.

What's wrong with the aesthetic? [Giggles and snuggles into his back, looking around.] The view's incredible. A picnic would be fun. Beats alien crash landing farce into Big Ben, yeah?

Yeah, not to mention the paperwork; there's a lot of it, even just being a Deputy Guardian. And David's practically buried in it half the time. I can't imagine how much would go into running a whole world.

I mean, I guess somebody's gotta do it, but I'm with you; glad it's not me.

You know I usually ignore paperwork. It just gets lost anyway. There's a whole dimension dedicated to the paperwork gone missing. Look it up sometime.

Any idea how to access this lost paperwork dimension? One thing's for sure, burning said paperwork doesn't work; you just end up getting new copies, plus extra for the fire.

[slight pause]

Er... don't ask how I know that.

It's a metaphor. For the most part. Honestly I'd just rather it be for other people which is why I need an assistant. [he makes a face] Grading...

[Lea actually looks mildly disappointed that there really isn't a dimension where paperwork can be shoved and forgotten about.]

I think everybody would rather it be for other people, but if there's one thing I've learned about being an adult is that paperwork is a hard thing to escape from.

Though now that I think about it, maybe I should suggest that David get an assistant. I mean I might not like paperwork, but I can handle what I've got; he's practically buried in the stuff.

Oh getting away from it is easy. Just don't do it. Live wild and free. Rove the... wherever it is popular for you to rove. No connections. No responsibilities. Just life. Adventure... [he misses that a bit]

You must have less persistent paperwork than I do. I swear, if I didn't do the stuff, it'd probably hide in my coat pockets of its own volition or follow me home and slip in through the mail slot. It's sneaky like that.

[He's only partially kidding; this place, he wouldn't put it past paperwork to have a mind of its own.]

That'd be nice for awhile, but I think eventually I'd want to take a break. Besides, most of the adventure I've got going on back home involves stopping an evil, old, bald guy who wants to take over the World, and that kind of precludes any sightseeing tours for the time being.

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