[Pushes her hair back with one hand.] So... long story short, yeah? I did something really big and horrible to one of my best friends. My only best friend other than the Doctor. It was kind of double whammy for him. The Doctor. Because he didn't want me to know what I'd done, but he also ... it's part of his species. The thing I did to our friend is deadly, murder on the Doctor's species.
So he lied to me, covered it up, said the friend wanted to stay behind and do cleanup.
And later he... wanted me to stay in my parents' universe. So he didn't lie per se, just... pretended to try and manipulate me, yeah?
So I did. I felt really really hurt and betrayed. I know his reasons were good, but he didn't trust me to be adult and handle the decisions myself, yeah? He was trying to protect me, but he was also being selfish and sacrificing himself at the same time. Confusing, I know, but it's more... [Sighs.] He knew it was a bad idea the whole time, that it'd hurt me, that I'd be sad. And he decided to make the decisions anyway, because I'm younger, human, more emotional, all that.
Trust is... respect, yeah? It's respecting their wishes, even if it's not what you want. And the TRUST is that they'll care enough about you to reciprocate the favor, follow?
It's not... black and white. What the Doctor did, I can't completely say it was wrong, but I still... [Shrugs.] It did. Hurt. I was very disappointed, very betrayed, and it took me a long time to work past them with him. For him to earn back my trust like that, to be honest. It'll be a lot easier to preempt all o' that.
[Rubs the back of her neck.] When I first met him, he gave me his hand, and pulled me away from getting killed by plastic come to life. After I saved his life too, he offered to take me to see the universe. In his spaceship. At first I said no, because I've run off with older men before and screwed up my life like that. But he came back, said it was a time machine, and I gave up everything to be with him. He took me to the end of the Earth. The day it was scheduled to let the sun expand and burn off the crust and atmosphere. There was a special party thrown by my friend -- though neither of us knew it at the time, -- where all the rich and famous would be.
And as I'm standin' there surrounded by aliens, surrounded by rich people and royalty, and someone askin' if I was the Doctor's prostitute or concubine, I realized....
I ran off with a bloke, I didn't even know the real name of, his real planet, his real time period. I was trusting him completely blindly, and I just...
I tried to get him to tell me those things. Something I could hold onto, to convince myself I wasn't mad for trustin' him just, because o' emotions, or one time, or the rest. And me, askin' 'im those questions... I couldn't have known they would hurt him, yeah?
The reason he took me to the end of Earth, it started with him trying to show off, but he'd lost his planet, and he was all alone, and he wanted to scare me off.
Trust is...
[Closes her eyes, takes a deep breath and hugs Chrysalis.] It's complicated. [Gentle smile.] But you wouldn't date him if you didn't trust him a little, yeah? It's your call how much you think you can trust him. Whether he'll hurt you if you give too much away, but don't forget you might hurt him holding back, yeah? It's a two-way street. When the Doctor did explain some things, his planet, why he's alone, gave me more reasons to trust him, he was trusting me too. And I try to live up to that, protect him. And when he hurt me... That was when I hurt him the worst. I couldn't take it, yeah?
The err... older Doctor, don't ask, he said I was like a wild animal, lashing out. "Bad Wolf Snarling," he said. You might think it'll hurt when he finds out, but there's a better chance of it hurting more if you drag it out, yeah? Just something to consider.
Action / Everglade
And that's why I was so mad.
[Pushes her hair back with one hand.] So... long story short, yeah? I did something really big and horrible to one of my best friends. My only best friend other than the Doctor. It was kind of double whammy for him. The Doctor. Because he didn't want me to know what I'd done, but he also ... it's part of his species. The thing I did to our friend is deadly, murder on the Doctor's species.
So he lied to me, covered it up, said the friend wanted to stay behind and do cleanup.
And later he... wanted me to stay in my parents' universe. So he didn't lie per se, just... pretended to try and manipulate me, yeah?
So I did. I felt really really hurt and betrayed. I know his reasons were good, but he didn't trust me to be adult and handle the decisions myself, yeah? He was trying to protect me, but he was also being selfish and sacrificing himself at the same time. Confusing, I know, but it's more... [Sighs.] He knew it was a bad idea the whole time, that it'd hurt me, that I'd be sad. And he decided to make the decisions anyway, because I'm younger, human, more emotional, all that.
Trust is... respect, yeah? It's respecting their wishes, even if it's not what you want. And the TRUST is that they'll care enough about you to reciprocate the favor, follow?
It's not... black and white. What the Doctor did, I can't completely say it was wrong, but I still... [Shrugs.] It did. Hurt. I was very disappointed, very betrayed, and it took me a long time to work past them with him. For him to earn back my trust like that, to be honest. It'll be a lot easier to preempt all o' that.
[Rubs the back of her neck.] When I first met him, he gave me his hand, and pulled me away from getting killed by plastic come to life. After I saved his life too, he offered to take me to see the universe. In his spaceship. At first I said no, because I've run off with older men before and screwed up my life like that. But he came back, said it was a time machine, and I gave up everything to be with him. He took me to the end of the Earth. The day it was scheduled to let the sun expand and burn off the crust and atmosphere. There was a special party thrown by my friend -- though neither of us knew it at the time, -- where all the rich and famous would be.
And as I'm standin' there surrounded by aliens, surrounded by rich people and royalty, and someone askin' if I was the Doctor's prostitute or concubine, I realized....
I ran off with a bloke, I didn't even know the real name of, his real planet, his real time period. I was trusting him completely blindly, and I just...
I tried to get him to tell me those things. Something I could hold onto, to convince myself I wasn't mad for trustin' him just, because o' emotions, or one time, or the rest. And me, askin' 'im those questions... I couldn't have known they would hurt him, yeah?
The reason he took me to the end of Earth, it started with him trying to show off, but he'd lost his planet, and he was all alone, and he wanted to scare me off.
Trust is...
[Closes her eyes, takes a deep breath and hugs Chrysalis.] It's complicated. [Gentle smile.] But you wouldn't date him if you didn't trust him a little, yeah? It's your call how much you think you can trust him. Whether he'll hurt you if you give too much away, but don't forget you might hurt him holding back, yeah? It's a two-way street. When the Doctor did explain some things, his planet, why he's alone, gave me more reasons to trust him, he was trusting me too. And I try to live up to that, protect him. And when he hurt me... That was when I hurt him the worst. I couldn't take it, yeah?
The err... older Doctor, don't ask, he said I was like a wild animal, lashing out. "Bad Wolf Snarling," he said. You might think it'll hurt when he finds out, but there's a better chance of it hurting more if you drag it out, yeah? Just something to consider.