It's a time traveler paradox. Would you kill Hitler before he becomes a mass murdering psychopath that set Europe on fire, or wouldn't you because he's a baby, yeah? But if you kill him before he does those things, he doesn't do the things to become famous and worth killing over.
The Doctor... [Growls in frustration, because she doesn't like giving this much away, but it's important.] Tsk... he's... always the Doctor, yeah? No matter the face. But he changes faces. He doesn't splinter. In an alternate Universe with completely different circumstances Hitler could have been a normal person.
His species is -- very different. Oh! I know! Okay... so there's the dream docks, yeah? Where you go and remember new parts of your life. The Doctor could only go as far as his death. Just before he changed faces, and became Bowtie. Even if you think a vampire's death is the same, it's not. Because... Time doesn't loop their DNA to create a recombinated burst of energy to turn them into a different person with the same memories. Yeesh. Okay, you don't have to say that didn't make sense, I can even hear how much it didn't make sense myself. Point is, I don't think unless the time loops out of the DNA like reincarnation, that you can die and still have the connected memories. Yeah?
Um. I'm not sure how... LOOK THIS IS LIKE SUPER SECRET ALL RIGHT? [Flails.] So don't like... even let on I mentioned it! [HUFFFFF. Pushes her hair back with a hand.] Uai's family is used to splintering. Each alternate life has its own soul. But outside, beyond that lifeline, you can have a collection of the souls to remember it. Only one of the souls lives' is here.
Even if you think you don't have a soul, I'm just using it to mean... existence and independent thoughts. You wouldn't be able to function without it. [Chews her bottom lip.]
[Nods.] So. No. You can't have your... body's younger self show up. Because it would de-fabricate reality here. [Shakes a hand through her hair.] It'd make the walls of reality thinner. Easier to break, and then the rest of the existence here. But Ti-- The Doctor's species is so weird, they are specifically manipulated in time. Which prevented the splintering, follow? So splinters can show up, and this is the only way he CAN be splintered.
I've only been here a year. 2 and a half months of which the Doctor doesn't even remember, that's how bad our fighting got. But for me, a year anywhere feels really long. The Doctor and I always traveled, of course. And even when I was trying to get back to him, it took a couple years, maybe 3 or 4, I was still always on the move. But some people have been here a really long time. Although no one more than like... five I think?
[Laughs softly and shakes her head.] Sounds more like he's worried you won't like him. That's good! He's trying to give you your freedom. Wish Jimmy and the Doctor had been--
Oh. Are you worried he's trying to push you out? You should really... talk to him. I think if you're the one staying, you're not -- [Face scrunch.] Not letting him choose? Like... I offered to move out on the Doctor a bunch'a times, but it just... upset him more than not. I guess I didn't really think of how much he must have felt like... [Like a dog whose owner needed to leave and he had separation anxiety?]
[THAT IS WHAT IT WAS THOUGH SO......... *There's that!*]
I dunno, like... for me... Jimmy and the Doctor more... wanted me to stay with them even when I was thinkin' like I should get my own place and give them room. I think if you're willing to stay... even if things don't work out? I mean that's REALLY good on you, because I wasn't. At all!! But it probably means a lot to him? I mean I can't know for sure, I haven't met him, but I think that's a normal human thing. Because like... getting a place together is a big deal. I think... if I was him... I'd've been really worried that like maybe you were gonna be like Jimmy, yeah? Have him get a place for you but then he'd be like on the hook financially if you changed your mind. Like what happened with Jimmy. How old is he? He sounds more mature than both the Doctor and Jimmy, but age isn't everything. Though I can't really imagine someone younger than me pullin' off growly American cop. It'd be too... obvious. Like trying to cover up insecurities of not being taken tough or seriously, yeah?
[Hand wave.] Look, if he mentioned his exes... I did a lot with the Doctor, but I know they weren't really sinking in. Why I brought them up. But I was trying to tell him why I was the way I was, what I was scared of happening again or making the same mistakes, or just how I am, yeah? So if he mentioned like... ex girlfriends leaving him over something, it's a warning, not just like. "Oh no I'm worried you will too." But like... "This is me. I'm not trying to hide it from you, so make sure you know what you're getting into," yeah? That's why I say it's better to tell him things than not. If it's all totally new, don't worry, take some time, you don't gotta rush or push anything.
Don't panic, yeah?
There's no one right or wrong way to take relationships... just... I know when it came to me... yeah?
And you know.
Maybe I'm wrong, yeah? [Armfold, but leans her head and shoulders against Angelique so she can take more sustenance if it'll help, or just feel soothed!]
But if you want to be with him even just for work, then don't be afraid of him running away. [Pokes tongue out the side in stubborn thought.] Or like... being too weak to handle whatever you think you've got. Or like... thinking that things will be better just so long as you hide stuff from him.
I tried to show the Doctor my worst stuff, and I've seen his worst sides, better than I think anyone, even -- well never mind that, but he still hid things to try to protect me. And I hated that. The most. Because it didn't really. I mean it's okay if it's to protect yourself, but if it's to protect yourself from him hurting you... then you have to take the risk. That maybe he'll hurt you, but that he's good enough to try to fix things even if he does, all right? That's what I think anyway.
Action / Everglade
It's a time traveler paradox. Would you kill Hitler before he becomes a mass murdering psychopath that set Europe on fire, or wouldn't you because he's a baby, yeah? But if you kill him before he does those things, he doesn't do the things to become famous and worth killing over.
The Doctor... [Growls in frustration, because she doesn't like giving this much away, but it's important.] Tsk... he's... always the Doctor, yeah? No matter the face. But he changes faces. He doesn't splinter. In an alternate Universe with completely different circumstances Hitler could have been a normal person.
His species is -- very different. Oh! I know! Okay... so there's the dream docks, yeah? Where you go and remember new parts of your life. The Doctor could only go as far as his death. Just before he changed faces, and became Bowtie. Even if you think a vampire's death is the same, it's not. Because... Time doesn't loop their DNA to create a recombinated burst of energy to turn them into a different person with the same memories. Yeesh. Okay, you don't have to say that didn't make sense, I can even hear how much it didn't make sense myself. Point is, I don't think unless the time loops out of the DNA like reincarnation, that you can die and still have the connected memories. Yeah?
Um. I'm not sure how... LOOK THIS IS LIKE SUPER SECRET ALL RIGHT? [Flails.] So don't like... even let on I mentioned it! [HUFFFFF. Pushes her hair back with a hand.] Uai's family is used to splintering. Each alternate life has its own soul. But outside, beyond that lifeline, you can have a collection of the souls to remember it. Only one of the souls lives' is here.
Even if you think you don't have a soul, I'm just using it to mean... existence and independent thoughts. You wouldn't be able to function without it. [Chews her bottom lip.]
[Nods.] So. No. You can't have your... body's younger self show up. Because it would de-fabricate reality here. [Shakes a hand through her hair.] It'd make the walls of reality thinner. Easier to break, and then the rest of the existence here. But Ti-- The Doctor's species is so weird, they are specifically manipulated in time. Which prevented the splintering, follow? So splinters can show up, and this is the only way he CAN be splintered.
I've only been here a year. 2 and a half months of which the Doctor doesn't even remember, that's how bad our fighting got. But for me, a year anywhere feels really long. The Doctor and I always traveled, of course. And even when I was trying to get back to him, it took a couple years, maybe 3 or 4, I was still always on the move. But some people have been here a really long time. Although no one more than like... five I think?
[Laughs softly and shakes her head.] Sounds more like he's worried you won't like him. That's good! He's trying to give you your freedom. Wish Jimmy and the Doctor had been--
Oh. Are you worried he's trying to push you out? You should really... talk to him. I think if you're the one staying, you're not -- [Face scrunch.] Not letting him choose? Like... I offered to move out on the Doctor a bunch'a times, but it just... upset him more than not. I guess I didn't really think of how much he must have felt like... [Like a dog whose owner needed to leave and he had separation anxiety?]
[THAT IS WHAT IT WAS THOUGH SO......... *There's that!*]
I dunno, like... for me... Jimmy and the Doctor more... wanted me to stay with them even when I was thinkin' like I should get my own place and give them room. I think if you're willing to stay... even if things don't work out? I mean that's REALLY good on you, because I wasn't. At all!! But it probably means a lot to him? I mean I can't know for sure, I haven't met him, but I think that's a normal human thing. Because like... getting a place together is a big deal. I think... if I was him... I'd've been really worried that like maybe you were gonna be like Jimmy, yeah? Have him get a place for you but then he'd be like on the hook financially if you changed your mind. Like what happened with Jimmy. How old is he? He sounds more mature than both the Doctor and Jimmy, but age isn't everything. Though I can't really imagine someone younger than me pullin' off growly American cop. It'd be too... obvious. Like trying to cover up insecurities of not being taken tough or seriously, yeah?
[Hand wave.] Look, if he mentioned his exes... I did a lot with the Doctor, but I know they weren't really sinking in. Why I brought them up. But I was trying to tell him why I was the way I was, what I was scared of happening again or making the same mistakes, or just how I am, yeah? So if he mentioned like... ex girlfriends leaving him over something, it's a warning, not just like. "Oh no I'm worried you will too." But like... "This is me. I'm not trying to hide it from you, so make sure you know what you're getting into," yeah? That's why I say it's better to tell him things than not. If it's all totally new, don't worry, take some time, you don't gotta rush or push anything.
Don't panic, yeah?
There's no one right or wrong way to take relationships... just... I know when it came to me... yeah?
And you know.
Maybe I'm wrong, yeah? [Armfold, but leans her head and shoulders against Angelique so she can take more sustenance if it'll help, or just feel soothed!]
But if you want to be with him even just for work, then don't be afraid of him running away. [Pokes tongue out the side in stubborn thought.] Or like... being too weak to handle whatever you think you've got. Or like... thinking that things will be better just so long as you hide stuff from him.
I tried to show the Doctor my worst stuff, and I've seen his worst sides, better than I think anyone, even -- well never mind that, but he still hid things to try to protect me. And I hated that. The most. Because it didn't really. I mean it's okay if it's to protect yourself, but if it's to protect yourself from him hurting you... then you have to take the risk. That maybe he'll hurt you, but that he's good enough to try to fix things even if he does, all right? That's what I think anyway.