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Zometimes I vonder about my life.

[There's a moment where the camera becomes shaky before Rip comes into view. From the looks of it, the huntress is down at the shooting range and surrounding her are various models of guns ranging from hand guns to sniper rifles. She's muttering as she sets down the latest gun and adjusts her glasses and takes the ear muffs off her ears.

Surprisingly, despite being as reckless as she usually is, Rip does know gun safety while at a shooting range. She grumbles softly as she moves to write something down in a note books before moving to the next handgun, looking it over before dissembling it and then reassembling it rather quickly before putting the ear muffs back on and taking aim. She rapidly empties the clip and then sets down the gun.

There's a soft 'Pumkaboo' from behind the camera as it shits to show a target with nothing but bulls eyes in the center.

Something catches Rip's eye and suddenly she's looking full into the camera and obviously looking at the Pokemon behind it.]

Really Pumpkin? Vat haf I told you about stealing my phone.

[There's a soft 'boo' before it floats over to her and rests in her hand. Moments later a tiny pumpkaboo is nestled under her hair while she rolls her eyes. Well, she needed a break anyway....]

...I haf been meaning to ask. Iz zhere anyone here zhat specializes in making muskets? My preferred veapon iz a Jezail flintlock musket. I zuppose I haf been getting a little nostalgic, but, I vould like to haf one again even if I haf not cause to use it anymore.

[Then she paused and glanced towards the notebook once more where there was a piece of paper sticking out with a little bit of handwriting. Rip really had been doing a lot of thinking lately with everything going on...]

For anyone vho might care, Alucard left some time ago. Zhis time I don't zhink he is coming back. Vhich... makes me vonder about zomething he mentioned to me once... how do you measure one's vorth? Vith deeds und sins? Or zomething else.

I zuppose it is a silly zhing to ask.. but, I'm curious.

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Personally, I'm a swordsman myself, so can't help you with guns. You'll have to ask my friend, Mami-san for that.

Don't think that's a silly question, but a deep one. I say you measure a person by their deeds and who they are! Of course no one's perfect, but it's about the intention, too.

Zhere is nozhing wrong vith a decent sword az long as you know how to use it. But, I.. don't zhink I know zhis Mami to azk her.

[She shrugs slightly.]

...I suppose zhe question iz a deep one. But, if you are measuring zhem by zheir deeds, vat if zhe person vas involved in vicked ones before hafing a reason to be zomething..more.

Zhen how might you measure zhem? By zhe past or zhe present.

She has LOADS of guns, and can materialize them from unsuspecting places.

[Sayaka smirks, knowing the first time guns came down Mami's skirt HOO-BOY]

Hmm...

[she brushed that amusing memory aside] So you're saying if that person did something horrible? It would depend if it was a one-time thing, or if they had a good reason for that one time.

[pauses and crosses her arms] ..Well-actually, no, because no matter the intention, it still hurt others in the long run..they'd be very bad..

[Lancer can't help with the gun issue - the only Archer of his Faction had used only bow and arrow and to his knowledge, the same had been true of the Red Faction's Archer as well.

Still, her last question catches his attention. It's an interesting question, one he has been forced to consider in coming to understand his abilities as a Heroic Spirit and where they draw influence from.

His voice is quiet, thoughtful, lending due weight to a discussion he doesn't consider silly at all.]

Deeds and sins are ever subject to perspective. One nation's hero can yet still be twisted into something monstrous and even one perceived as a monster can show a measure of honour.

[And he doesn't just mean himself; he's seen enough of how Berserker of Black behaves to recognise that he's not the only one to have been vilified by literature, whether deservedly so or not.]

And of course, there is the question of whose valuation you seek. Do you measure by your own standards, or by the expectations set by a particular society? That, too, changes the shape of the answer.

Sounds like a pretty useful skill to haf.

[There might be a little amusement in her voice though it fades away soon enough as she gently pets the pokemon hiding under her hair.]

Zhen by your logic, zhat person iz a monster vith no vorth.

But, vat if zhat person vas attempting to prove zheir vorth by killing ozhers in an attempt to prove zhey had zhe vill und determination to survive?

[When Lancer speaks, she listens while idly petting the pokemon in her hair and reading over a letter of sorts. It was the piece of paper that had been tucked away in her notebook.]

Und if zhat monster vas a king zhat has been twisted so far zhat he is vorthless compared to a common soldier?

[She shakes her head slightly, earning a bit of protest from her pet.]

Zhat is zhe question. Vho's values does one use to measure vorth? Vhen I use my own.. I am vorthless compared to ozhers. But, vhen zhey use zheir values, I am vorth more zhan zhey are.

It iz... a puzzle.

That depends. Is the king himself twisted or is it merely his legacy that has been torn to shreds in hopes it might comfort the masses somehow?

[He has to ask. It very greatly shapes the response he might give. Though he can at least provide some insight to that last puzzle.]

I believe it to be in the nature of most who hold some connection to humanity to focus more closely on their flaws than others would. Save for the unduly arrogant, but they frequently are attempting to make up for their own shortcomings by attempting to belittle others.

You have much to be proud of. If you cannot see it in yourself, there is no harm in believing in the views of others until you can understand.

[She's quiet for a moment as she sets down the letter to consider how to answer that question. By now, Rip knows who Lancer is and perhaps he can give her a little more perspective on one of his alternates.]

He vas a man twisted by zhe circumstances of his life, not by zhe twisting of his legacy. Zhe legacy he did leave vas one of blood, var und death. A true King of Monsters.

Und Yet...

[She hesitated and then sighed softly.]

I lost my connection to my humanity a very long time ago. I am vell avare I am a monster und embrace zhat. I am proud to haf fought in zhe vars I haf und slaughted vithout distinction.

[Rip didn't feel remorse for any of that. Nor the death and destruction she's dealt since then. What she does regret is not learning from her mistakes before now and not cherishing those she adored when she had the chance before.]

...Maybe. But, I doubt I vill ever truly understand.

A man's deeds speak for him! If they've never done anything worthwhile, they have nothing to say. And if they try to do something that hurts others, I'm gonna judge them for that. And if someone has resolve, they're strong. That's how you measure someone's worth.

By the people who remember them left behind.

There's a saying in my world, nothing's ever gone until it's been forgotten. And that's why the government tries so hard to cover things up.

Oh? Und vat if zhe person is more complicated zhan that? Vat if zhe person is both strong und hurts people to save ozhers?

Zhen how do you measure zheir vorth?

Zhen by your vorld's standards, zhe more people remember zhem.. zhe more zhey are vorth.

I didn't say how I'd judge 'em. I said that I'd judge 'em.

You're not one of those people who says people who fight to save people are the same as the type who'd hurt them for no good reason, are you?

And who is it that crowned him this King of Monsters?

[Give him a moment while he figures out where the private function is. She's figured out who he is but this still isn't something he wants to talk about openly - at least, not where that version of himself may get wind of it.]

You realise, of course, that same legacy could be claimed as my own. To those outside my country, to those who sought to invade, I was indeed a monstrous figure. There was nothing I would not have done to protect my lands and my people, even methods which may not be considered honourable. And yet. Those same actions that allowed my enemies to twist me into such a fiend were the actions that made me a hero to those I ruled over. Indeed, if that were not the case, my abilities even back home would have been on par to what they have been reduced to now.

[Which is something he wants to fix but one thing at a time.

He can't even pretend to understand the rest. That, then, is the line between them, that she is indiscriminate where he was driven by circumstance. But he'll try to find something positive in it, all the same, for the respect she's earned from him so far.]

So long as you are honest with yourself. So long as you can reflect on your actions and find nothing to regret in them, then what others might make of them matters little. And actions taken during war cannot truly be judged equally against actions taken during times of peace. That, I think, is something we can both recognise.

He crowned himself zhe King of Monsters by slaughtering everyone zhat opposed him. Including myself.

[She glanced towards her device when she realized he set it to private and just accepted it. She was familiar with wanting to keep an identity hidden and considering who he was.. and her father's temper. It was probably for the best.]

I know. But,you are not a man I fear like I did him. Even my own fazher does not strike zhe fear vithin me zhat my vorld's Dracula used to. Vith vat I know if his history, he made himself into zhe monster he vas both in life und in his Resurrection.

[She sighed and rubbed the bridge of her nose under her glasses.]

Alucard vas... complicated.

I'm alvays honest vith myself und I regret nozhing of vat I haf done vhether it be var time or peacetime.

But, you're right. Zhat is something ve can both recognize.

If you can describe the specific components of that musket, then I can... [Halt. She can't hand out guns. Satou lets that thought go.]

I don't think people have measurable worth. Not everyone can save lives, or make inventions, or leave an impact that you see in a history book. Not everyone is going to be loved, or even happy, either. Some people don't even get remembered... That doesn't make any life more worthwhile than another. I hope.

Edited 2018-08-14 19:32 (UTC)

Hardly.

I punish all vithout distinction. Or, I used to.

[She smiles slightly and then shakes her head, making her pet protest softly.]

But, zhat is hardly zhe point. I am merely curious to see how people measure one's vorth und to see.. if it measures up against my own.

Then he chose the other path, the one that saw him embrace what history would have him become.

[Lancer wishes he couldn't understand. He wishes there wasn't some locked-down, hated part of himself thrumming in something like empathy. He wishes he didn't have the power to re-enact such a scenario, and can only be thankful that for so long as no-one is in a position to force it, it is a power that will remain unused.]

If all that is so, perhaps I should be grateful that our paths never crossed. I cannot envision that it would have ended well.

Essentially.

[Sadly, Rip understood it a bit herself considering her own history over the last several decades and especially within the last nine years. And then actually getting to know the monster that had plagued her nightmares took away her fear of him. ]

Depending on zhe situation, probably not.

If you can consider a probably, you are more optimistic than I.

[He at least manages to sound amused more than anything. He knows damn well that even if Alucard hadn't tipped them over the line where civility no longer applies, he himself would have done. Even without wishing to, there are certain things his temper cannot withstand.]

Zhen apparently, I'm zhe more optimistic one of zhe two of us.

[Which in a way amused her a little.]

But, chances are you are right. From vat I know of him und vat I've seen of you, it vould haf been like oil und vater putting zhe two of you in a room togezher.

[Then there was a faint quirk of a smile.]

I could haf sold tickets to anyone vishing to see zhe out come.

[She's joking, honest.]

But, he did give me a lot to zhink about before he left. So.. at least zhere's that.

I can do one better, I could draw up blue prints und specifics. I just lack zhe skills und materials to make it.

[It was her gun for over fifty years. You better believe she knew every little detail about that gun.]

Hm... zhat is an interesting vay of looking at it. Zhen ve should all be vorth zhe same und no one person vith more zhan zhe ozher.

Uh huh.

And how does it, then? And are you gonna consider people who don't measure up the sorta people you wanna punish?

If we can get it licensed... I-I mean. I have no ability to create guns, nope.

And that's how I think about it, anyway. There's no currency to decide worth universally anyway.

Well, perhaps that dream may not yet be entirely dead.

[He's mostly joking, partly because he's aware that Rip has a degree of familial affection for Dracula and partly because he doesn't actually want to consider any such altercation while he's still not at full power.]

But indeed, we are able to learn from our enemies just as we are able to from our allies. And you are not one left to carry the burden of such thought alone.

[He doesn't mean himself here. He's thinking more of Augustine, and the others she is close to. In any event, the Grail War has taught him the blessing that having allies to share concerns with can be and he's determined not to let go of that.]

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