I have experienced this from both sides. For our shared experience I am unsure of what to say because of my own doubts--though I believe the circumstances surrounding the death of my first love color my feelings of guilt and the questioning of my loyalty in regards to my second.
But I can tell you this: all the dead want for the living they've left behind is for them to be happy. I am sure that the person you lost would want the same. We don't want our loved ones to suffer, so do not lament this. Be with this person.
I have learned that my husband--my second love--has wandered completely alone for over a decade after my death. I did not want that for him. I wanted him to find happiness. I wanted him to marry, have children, find what we had during our short time together. I admit that part of me is relieved as it makes the situation... less difficult being here together now, but it doesn't change the fact that I know what he has put himself through.
[Anon text forever]
But I can tell you this: all the dead want for the living they've left behind is for them to be happy. I am sure that the person you lost would want the same. We don't want our loved ones to suffer, so do not lament this. Be with this person.
I have learned that my husband--my second love--has wandered completely alone for over a decade after my death. I did not want that for him. I wanted him to find happiness. I wanted him to marry, have children, find what we had during our short time together. I admit that part of me is relieved as it makes the situation... less difficult being here together now, but it doesn't change the fact that I know what he has put himself through.
Does that make sense?