genessia | The Capslock Hopeful (Video, Action, OTA)

Video

GOOD AFTERNOON, GENESSIA, IT IS I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS! RUNNING FOR GUARDIAN FOR FAYREN!! IT'S THE MOST LIKE HOME, SO THERE LIE MY GREATEST OF EXPERTISE!! EXCEPT IN FAYREN IT'S MOSTLY HUMANS ON THE INSIDE AND MONSTERS ON THE OUTSIDE. IN THE UNDERGROUND IT WAS BASICALLY THE OPPOSITE!! SO IT'S LIKE THEY'RE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT!!!

ANYWAY, YOU'RE PROBABLY EAGER TO HEAR ALL ABOUT HOW QUALIFIED AND GREAT I AM. WAIT NO MORE!! FIRST OF ALL, I SAVED WINGATE CREEK!! THANKS TO MY BRILLIANT PLAN, EVERYONE FOUND OUT WHERE THE ULTIMATE PORTAL WAS TO PUT STUFF IN, WHICH MAGICALLY MADE THINGS BETTER!! LOOK FORWARD TO MORE GENIUS STRATAGEMS TO SAVE THE WORLD!!

SECONDLY, I'M A MASTER OF PUZZLECRAFT!! WHICH IS GREAT, BECAUSE FAYREN DOESN'T HAVE ANY!! WOWIE, HOW DID THEY LIVE SO LONG WITHOUT THEM??? DON'T THEY KNOW THE INVALUABLE SAFETY BENEFIT THEY PROVIDE?? WHERE I'M FROM, IT'S LOVING TRADITION TO ENCOUNTER SUCH CAPES ON THE DAILY COMMUTE! IT'S TIME FOR THAT MEDIEVAL PLACE TO GET WITH THE TIMES!

THIRDENLY, I DON'T THINK ANYONE'S, UM...FOUND THE MISSING SOULS YET...THAT'S NOT GOOD!! PRETTY SURE YOU NEED THOSE TO LIVE!!! WELL, I WON'T LET THIS PRESSING ISSUE GO ON ANY FURTHER! I PROMISE TO ALWAYS KEEP AN EYESOCKET OPEN FOR THOSE MISSING SOULS, THAT WAY EVERYONE CAN GO BACK TO NORMAL!! I WONDER HOW SO MANY PEOPLE KEEP GOING WITHOUT THEM...

OH, LEST I FORGET! FOURTHENLY, THE KNIGHTS WILL BE NICE AND GOOD AND TREAT EVERYONE FAIRLY!! I HEAR THERE'S SOME FUNNY BUSINESS WITH THE NOBLES AND PREFERENTIAL TREATMENT. WHEN I'M GUARDIAN THE ONLY FUNNY BUSINESS WILL BE JAPES, AND THE PREFERENCE WILL BE FOR PUZZLES FOR EVERYONE. FINALLY, TRUE FAIRNESS!!!

I COULD GO ON WITH MY VERY LONG LIST OF QUALIFICATIONS, BUT I HAVE TO GO CAMPAIGNING IN REAL LIFE!! VOTE FOR THE GREAT PAPYRUS!!! AND AFTER THAT, VISIT TORCHWOOD!!!

[The feed finally cuts, only for Papyrus to...]

Action, all around the world.

[...Make good on his promise. Papyrus busily asserts himself all across every sixth of Genessia, zooming around as fast as his busy legs will carry him. The jawbone's getting a nice workout too.]

VOTE FOR PAPYRUS!! HAVE A BUTTON! WHERE'S YOUR BABY FOR ME TO KISS? OH, YOU DON'T HAVE ONE? THAT'S OKAY, I'M SURE YOU CAN FIND ONE SOMEWHERE!!

[And that's the routine. Find a stranger, hand them a piece of campaign paraphernalia, tape a flier, shout a self-aggrandizing slogan, and repeat. Who knew politics could be so much fun? ~~and loud~~]

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[ How enthusiastic, sir. There's a voice behind you. ]

I'm afraid I'll owe you a baby to kiss, heh.

You forgot the volume again, Yellington.

What's this about running a campaign?

[He emits the sound of squealing tires as he stops and about faces.]

HI SOUJI! THAT'S OKAY, I JUST REMEMBERED THAT I DON'T HAVE LIPS. ALAS, THERE ARE SOME THINGS EVEN I CAN'T DO.

[A rare admission.]

WELL HOW ARE YOU DOING? HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT ABOUT...BEING A DEPUTY???

NO I DIDN'T! I REMEMBER YOUR SENSITIVE EARS!!

[He's very thoughtful that way as he (softly) audibly winks.]

THAT'S BASICALLY IT!! THE CAMPAIGNS ARE GOING ON, WHICH MEANS VOTING, WHICH MEANS ELECTIONS, AND THAT MEANS POPULARITY!!! PLUS, AS MY EXPERTISE PLAINLY SHOWS, I'M THE GREATEST CANDIDATE THERE IS!!! NYEH HEH HEH!!

WHAT ABOUT YOUR PLANS? DID YOU START THAT EYEPATCH CLUB YET?

I'd tell you, but that would violate the first rule of the club.

[She rolls her eye. On one hand, there is an earnestness about him, but on the other... well, everything else.]

Right, the puzzles, the knights, and the fairness. Did I get the general gist or was there something else you'd like to add?

WOWIE, A SECRET CLUB!! I'M SO JEALOUS!!

HEY...WAIT A MINUTE...IF THERE ARE RULES, THAT MEANS...YOU'VE STARTED A CLUB ALREADY!!! NYEH HEH HEH, YOU CAN'T FOOL THIS PUZZLETEER!

[But he likes that she tried. Nice of her to keep his wits on their toes.]

AND THE SOULS! DON'T FORGET THEM!! EVERYONE ELSE SURE SEEMS TO...
OH, AND THE COOKING! THAT'S IMPORTANT TOO!!

[Go on. Ask him why.]

[She knows an obvious bait when she sees one... eh......]

Why is the cooking important, Yellington?

WOWIE, A NICKNAME!! THANKS!!!

[he'll treasure it always]

AS YOU KNOW, GUARDIANS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE REALLY COOL AND PROTECT PEOPLE. SO I'LL PROTECT THEM
FROM HUNGER!!!

[she may now adore his vision]

Huh.

...[She's actually not opposed to that.]

You any good?

[Vaggie, no.]

GOOD? GOOD!? I'M GREAT!!! YOU SHOULD COME OVER TO MY STALL AND TRY MY EVERGLADE-FAMOUS SPAGHETTI!!! IT'S THERE FOR A POSSIBLE LIMITED TIME ONLY!

SINCE IT MIGHT...BE HARD TO WORK BOTH JOBS IF I GET THE GUARDIAN ONE...

[It's probably not worse than what they serve in literal hell.]

Edited 2019-06-03 03:56 (UTC)

Well, if its good, that not a bad idea, but you're going to run into some problems when you start buying everyone food and get nothing in return for it.

That's just basic economics, you know?

ECONOMICS...HMM...THAT SOUNDS PRETTY SMART!

[That's all he can intelligently offer on that subject, having just about no fiscal responsibility for most of his life. A steady paycheck was a shining novelty.]

IT'S NICE OF YOU TO WORRY. BUT THERE'S NO NEED!! BECAUSE
A) GUARDIANS MAKE A LOT OF MONEY, AND
B) MASTER CHEFS MAKE FOOD THEMSELVES!!

IT DOESN'T GET MORE NOMICAL THAN THAT!

[that's how cool kids say it]

Edited 2019-06-03 04:04 (UTC)

...you're going to pay for it yourself?

[A) THat's stupid and...
B) That sounds like something she would do, damnit...]

THAT'S THE COOL GUARDIAN THING TO DO! LUCKILY, FAYREN HAS A LOT OF FARMLAND, AND I'VE RECENTLY COME INTO POSSESSION OF A RANCH!! IF I HAVE TO, I'M SURE I CAN RUSTLE UP A LOT OF SPAGHETTI PLANTS!!

[ There's a laugh at that. ]

That's what makes a good candidate.

[ The last bit takes him by surprise. ] M-Me!? Why is that!?

Spaghetti... plants?

[Surely he meant factories that made spaghetti and not... crops, right?]

[Please be the first one please be the first one please be the first one.

YES!! NOODLE-VINES CREEPING ALONG A TRELLIS. TREES DRIPPING WITH SAUCE! BUSHES BURSTING WITH MEATBALLS!!

AREN'T FARMS THE COOLEST?

[Go on, tell him spaghetti doesn't work that way]

[He lost her vote.]

And you've... seen them?

ONLY IN MY DREAMS...IT DIDN'T COME WITH INSTRUCTIONS, AND MOST PEOPLE JUST HAVE ANIMALS ON THEIRS, SO I'VE BEEN SPRUCING UP THE PLACE UNTIL I FIGURE IT OUT. WHAT IT LACKS IN PRODUCTIVITY IT MAKES UP FOR IN PRETTINESS!! IT'S REALLY NICE RANCH DRESSING!

Edited 2019-06-03 06:20 (UTC)

[She can't do it. Its so stupid, but she just can't bring herself to do it.]

Right. Spaghetti farms.

Maybe if things don't work out you've got something else to try.

[That's the closest she'll get.]

I guess I will wish you good luck in your campaign.

[Rapunzel herself was going to run for another city, so she knew she wasn't going to be up against him in this case.]

VERTICAL SPAGHETTI INTEGRATION. THAT WOULD BE ANOTHER DREAM COME TRUE!!

[His argiculture's spotty, but don't step to his SCM.]

THANKS, LOOKING FORWARD TO YOUR VOTE!! I'LL ALSO KEEP AN EYE OUT FOR EYEPATCHES TO GROW YOUR CLUB!! ALSO, HAVE YOU MET THAT REALLY COOL ANGEL WITH THE GLOWING TENTACLE WINGS??? ITHERAEL?

THAT WAS A GOOD TRY, BUT YOU CAN WISH MORE CONFIDENTLY THAN THAT!! YOU SHOULD GIVE IT ANOTHER GO!

Y-YOU! BECAUSE! YOU'RE REALLY TALENTED, SOUJI!! YOU'RE A FAST LEARNER, AND GREAT TO HANG OUT WITH, AND VERY VIGILANT!!!

PLUS! I BET DEEP DOWN, IN YOUR HEART OF HEARTS...

[He says, dramatically thrusting his pointer towards Souji's chest]

YOU WANT TO PROTECT PEOPLE AND BE COOL LIKE I DO!! EH? NYEH??

AT LEAST THAT'S THE VIBE I GOT FROM OUR LAST TALK!!!

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The Capslock Hopeful (Video, Action, OTA)

action @ fayren // evening // THOSE MIGHTY CAPSLOCKS THO

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THE MIGHTIEST

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