genessia | Video;

NOPE! MY IDEALS ARE PRACTICALLY MARRIED TO MY PAST, PRODUCING A HOLY MATRIMONY OF MAGNIFICENCE!!

PUNISHING FOR NO REASON SOUNDS LIKE REALLY BAD DISCIPLINE.

[He's helping.]

[Oof, that's loud.]

Indeed it is. How do you motivate yourself to be, er...magnificent?

THAT'S EASY!! I JUST THINK OF SOMEONE REALLY COOL AND STRONG AND GREAT WHO ACHIEVES MOST OF THEIR DREAMS. THEN I CONCENTRATE VERY HARD ON IMITATING THEIR STYLE. SOMETIMES, I SAY "OHM."

AND THAT'S ALL IT TAKES!!! BUT MAGNIFICENCE COMES EASY TO THE GREAT PAPYRUS.

IF YOU WANT, I'M ALWAYS FREE TO USE AS AN EXAMPLE! I DON'T MIND!!

[Having a hero to look up to is a start. But she really doesnt plan on looking back on a skeleton for inspiration.]

Uh, thanks. That seems reasonable advice.

NYEH HEH HEH! IF I HAD A MIDDLE NAME, THAT WOULD PROBABLY BE IT!! YOU'RE WELCOME!!!

[So reasonable and modest.]

I have never had the chance to change my regrets, though I have had chances to atone or try to deal with them otherwise. From your tone and second question, however, you are not thinking about regrets involving others.

Even if the reason is not clear to you, there is one--but self-punishment rarely serves any good except to increase ones own misery. Perhaps talking with a trusted comrade for another perspective would help you find clues as to the reason, if not to absolution?

[It's certainly feelings she had ever since the end of the war, so she suspected it comes from that. But who can she talk to? Only one name comes to mind.]

It's shameful to say, after all this time I probably made only one friend here. Even though I just recently met him.

That said, I'm hesitant to go to someone I barely know with such thoughts.

I've never heard of being able to change something in the past...as much as I might wish to sometimes, I know there's nothing that can be done.

[Oh how she wishes she had moved to stop Erebus from destroying their lair instead of just standing there being terrified...]

All I can do is learn from it...to try to keep it from happening again...

... This unit has never had the opportunity to change things like that, as far as it knows.

Are you speaking of time travel, or simply of making up for a past mistake somehow, though?

More like correcting something one is doing to themselves in the present. Like, living in less-than-comfortable conditions and one can really just get up and go somewhere else, but just won't for whatever reason.

...Did that make sense?

... Honestly, yes.

This unit has heard it referred to as the 'inertia effect'. A fear of change even when that change is obviously better. It often is a symptom of larger depression issues.

Depression. Yeah, that seems like a logical suspicion. In which case, I should see a doctor for a professional opinion.

[Not that she doubts a android. At least she assumes by how "this unit" is talking.]

Why is that shameful? Adapting to a new situation always takes time, and the situation we have all found ourselves in here?

[There is a warm chuckle.]

I am not sure anyone could be prepared for a situation such as what we have all found ourselves in. As for your dilemma, some people find that confession to a stranger is more helpful than to someone they know.

[The voice has at no point been anything other than politely encouraging. Warm and rich tones, an older man's voice. Simply helping her with her questions and providing someone to 'brainstorm' with so to speak.]

It is up to you if you would find that more comfortable than not, however.

[He's not wrong. Natalia silently went over life events from fairly recent, signing up as an explorer only to end up as a soldier. Probably on her third direct conflict as a captain prior to Genessia.]

Well, as some may say, "what's a captain without a ship?" I suppose I should stop acting like a captain, and talk this out with someone.

[Feeling like a civilian again will take more getting use to.]

Thank you, who ever you are.

[There is another warm chuckle, soft and from the chest.]

Change is one of the few constant things in one's life, and adaption a vital skill. Part of you may never fully shed the captain's role. But I hope that you are able to have some modicum of peace, and adapt into who you wish. Regrets or not.

And you are very welcome.

Professional therapy based on more modern understanding that is appropriate to your culture is probably safer than trusting a medical unit of an empire that managed to erase itself from having ever existed, yes. Not to doubt this unit's own capabilities, but it's made for adventurers and soldiers mostly...

Please do not ask how that works, this unit got a headache trying to explain it last time...

Well, you'd be in luck. I'm...kind of a soldier.

[Explorer first and foremost though.]

I'm curious about the civilization you came from, but one thing at a time and all that.

Thank you for talking with me.

If you desire assistance, this unit will do what they can. Naturally, being trained for field medicine, this unit only has magic and traditional therapy, not access to drugs. And the magic's basically emergency measure only.

[A sheepish chuckle.]

Ah, I think I'd go with magic over drugs any day.

[Says the drinker.]

How are you with technology?

Reading manuals helps! Usually. This unit gets by in Genessia at least.

I meant...

[She pauses. She was goung to ask how she does at repairing gadgets.

But seeing as there are no manuals, and she's not an engineer to teach...]

...Never mind. Thank you anyway. I think I have all the answers I need.

... This unit apologizes if it said something wrong...

No, its nothing you said. I have some gear that needs regular maintenance, including one that is of the surgical kind.

I just think it'd be out of your expertise if I have no manuals, or rather schematics, for you to help me.

This unit seems to recall there being some specialists in Nova City, but..

[Uh oh. In her experience, anytime a sentence is interrupted with "but" is usually bad news.]

...But what?

Edited (Eye can English eye sware.) 2019-08-19 08:53 (UTC)

But unfortunately, this unit has not done any research on that...

[That ended up not being nearly as bad as anticipated.]

Oh, well I wouldn't worry about that. I think I know someone who may be able to help...
By the way, I don't think I ever caught your name.

This unit's full identifier is "Gynoid Support Unit 24". Because referring to humanoid units by number kinda freaks out most people outside of this unit's homeland, "Essei" is a recommended alternative.

"Changing my regrets is something I'd thought about in the past. And as someone who has lived quite a long time, I have many of those. Too many to count and too many I'd also prefer to forget. But these same stories of mistakes and tragedy are used to great effect to illustrate how common regret can be."

A quiet pause and a small breath, as if taking a moment to compose her thoughts, the dour voice spoke on.

"Someone close to me was hurt by my inaction. However, rather than regret for the rest of my days, I made amends and worked to resolve the outcome rather than worry about the solution. It was either do nothing or let her die. True, I blamed myself for a time, but... that's normal, I suppose. It's always quite troublesome to think over what could've been done or should've been done, and that always depends on the situation one's presented with."

A rustling over the call and the noise of a cat purring in the background. The phone is adjusted a bit so it isn't so loud. The voice on the other end seems relieved and finishes her thought...

"...but there comes a time where one has to make do with the present rather than flagellate oneself over the past. Feeling that pang of guilt is normal. Moving beyond that takes time."

"And...more to the matter at hand, it might be well to examine what makes one hesitate and regret. Perhaps the solution to your concerns might lie with your trepidation."

[A kitty! The sound of the purring makes her miss Socks. She needs to focus right now.]

Yeah, I understand. I'm already getting ready to meet with someone to talk about it. Though my anxiety is not exactly what may happen, but more like...what didn't happen.

Your story regarding your friend feels more relative to how I feel, actually.

"I'm glad we've reached some consensus, then."

The voice on the other end seems a little happier while the distant noise of purring can still be heard over the phone. The mystery caller quietly mumbles something to calm down the highly inquisitive feline some more.

"I suppose the first step in situations like this is letting someone know, but as we've established, you're past this. Instead, let me ask you a couple more questions, just to see what else is on your mind..."

"...Firstly, do you feel you can trust the person you plan on meeting? Secondly, I may as well ask, why do you feel we have something in common? Not because I disagree with your thoughts, but because it helps to be honest with oneself before being becoming honest amongst strangers. "

Edited 2019-09-02 18:36 (UTC)

He's all I have to on. I neglected forming relationships here, and he's the only one I feel I can talk to who seems most likely to understand.

Plus I'm hoping he can help with tech related matters.

[Click, beeps and boops, clap. She's checking an additional device she has.]

I wouldn't say it's exactly in common, but it just feels simiar. See, I'm a captain, foisted into the commander's chair due to desperate times. I had to act quickly in some situations with some...mixed results.

[Such a thought she had was the final battle to determine the fate of Earth, as the battle was going against them, she began to lose hope and hesitate.
Then an armistace came.]

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