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Don't touch that booth! [Ted's tardy appeal] [public to all but Lucifer]
Greetings, inhabitants of Genessia. If Guardianship is anything like being a politician, I guess I'll have to make a speech to that effect. It's a pity I don't know many of you yet; I hope to rectify that in the days to come. Moving right along, here are the reasons I ought to be the guardian of Attleton:
1. A free dessert of your choice to any and all who vote for me; I bake. Lucifer is not the only one who can tempt.
2. The democratic spirit. I firmly believe that people who head anything should be representative. Attleton, a more or less quiet suburb writ large, is a place much like where I spent the majority of my youth. I intend to keep it that way.
3. Variety. As far as I can tell, all the other guardians are of the same sort; dreadfully practical women with some measure of strength. What fun might one have, then, if you had an unpractical man with a measure of weakness?
4. Fun. Where I come from, in order to secure their positions, most politicians say things in the news that are hardly newsworthy. Rest assured, I won't rest until any and all newspapers alight themselves the moment they're printed, so aflame will the contents be.
5. Destiny. I believe I'm the only one that can truly defeat Lucifer. It is written in a legend. I'll produce it, upon request.
6. The best for last: I have found Justice. When he is properly wed, he will join me.
Thank you for your time; hopefully I've used precious little of it.
1. A free dessert of your choice to any and all who vote for me; I bake. Lucifer is not the only one who can tempt.
2. The democratic spirit. I firmly believe that people who head anything should be representative. Attleton, a more or less quiet suburb writ large, is a place much like where I spent the majority of my youth. I intend to keep it that way.
3. Variety. As far as I can tell, all the other guardians are of the same sort; dreadfully practical women with some measure of strength. What fun might one have, then, if you had an unpractical man with a measure of weakness?
4. Fun. Where I come from, in order to secure their positions, most politicians say things in the news that are hardly newsworthy. Rest assured, I won't rest until any and all newspapers alight themselves the moment they're printed, so aflame will the contents be.
5. Destiny. I believe I'm the only one that can truly defeat Lucifer. It is written in a legend. I'll produce it, upon request.
6. The best for last: I have found Justice. When he is properly wed, he will join me.
Thank you for your time; hopefully I've used precious little of it.