genessia | [Video]

[When the video opens, Dracula is smirking into the camera with a vast array of gargantuan chemical filled beakers and tubes connecting them in the background, accented against the marble platforms acting as scaffolding throughout the laboratory.]

For those who are new to this place, allow me to introduce myself. I am Count Vlad III Tepes, lord of Castlevania, which is currently residing in a gate linking to the Everglades. I come to you tonight as a man of the sciences, along with a glimpse into my personal laboratory.

[The camera swings around to display the vast open alchemy lab, with multiple tables filled with instruments, chemical filled beakers, and blue flames that hover over the burners though they seem to be heating nothing.]

It is in this place that I have been spending the majority of my time, pursuing knowledge and creating tinctures of varying effects.

[The camera shifts fluidly as Dracula glides throughout the laboratory, the skeletons patrolling the area stopping to salute as he nears. He rounds a corner going into a small alcove near the back of the laboratory where a single table is set up. Multiple books litter the area, and another blue-flamed burner is set up, connected to nothing. Placed on a tray above the burner is a beaker containing a blood red potion, bubbling gently.]

I have created this healing potion that has proven to be more potent than I had intended. It has the power to mend flesh better than nature ever could, removing scars, expelling poisons, and healing any injury ever incurred as if it never happened.

[He spins the camera around again, grinning into it.]

However, there is one caveat. The heart of the imbiber must be strong and committed. Those with a weak spirit will perish. Which is why I have chosen to leave it here, guarded by my minions. However, I do offer this invitation. To any who wishes to have their body returned to its healthiest state, you are more than welcome to fight your way through my laboratory. Doing so should be proof enough of your conviction.

[Private to Sakuya, Remilia, and Izanami]

I have arranged for some entertainment to be gracing the castle for some time. I ask that you all abstain from interfering with them for the most part. I will have viewing balconies erected along the ceiling so as to best enjoy the chaos that ensues.

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

"I relish the chance to vacuum your vile villa, villain! One question: must the sojourner need it himself? A panacea like that would be wonderful, if it does all you say, though I have no plans for it on my own person.

The potion will work for any who imbibe it. However, I must caution against such altruism. Even if given to another, their resolve is subject to the same judgement as the man who fought their way through my guards.

Hmph! Doubtless you're averse to all kinds of moralities. Best you retire from this adventure you've staged; for gallantry will find its way to the prize, dominion will take it, and caution will do what, for reasons I cannot discern, the FDA could not, and apply the appropriate warning label.

Where exactly is this laboratory, by the by?

...A potion that can heal you, but also destroy you? Huh...

[Well, color this girl curious. Not that she really needs a potion, so she's unsure if it's worth the gamble.]

[Have a hearty chuckle, Ted. You're rather amusing, you know that?]

And what purpose would my telling you that serve me? The blind flailing of an imbecile such as yourself would be far more entertaining.

Indeed, such is the power of most potent alchemical creations. The power of the creation must be offset by some cost or risk that strikes a precarious balance. That is one of the most basic rules of alchemy.

I see...

[About as well as she can, anyway. Science and magic aren't really her things...]

Intriguing as this challenge sounds, I doubt I have need for such a potion. Perhaps there is someone who may need it more.

[He prefers to be musing, but as with the tincture, he'll take what he can get.]

I cannot guess at your twisted schemes. Not fruitfully, anyway. What temerity, that you have a contest and then make mere participation part of the game. Why does that seem so familiar?

Regardless, don't underestimate imbeciles. We make short work of the clever. I hope you are not as covetous as you are curmudgeonly, else the tears of want will be your last reagent.

That don't look like any healing potion I've seen before.

[ It looks more like something a hippie smidgen cooked up to get high, or something created by a demented necromancer.]

I'm a bit curious 'bout how ya tested this out.

Perhaps the same could be said of all contests. Jousting lauded all competitors, even ones who fell at the start. You could argue that simply getting on the horse was part of the game.

[Have another chuckle.]

And do not overestimate your luck. I doubt you have ever set foot in a castle such as Castlevania. After all, few castles have a mind of its own.

You think you are at the peak of your abilities then? The potion unlocks the potential of the imbiber to repair and reinforce the body. The process is painful, but none who have survived can claim to be anything less but at the peak of their ability after.

Still, it is a steep risk, and if you have any doubts it would be safest for you to simply abstain. I am sure none would judge you ill for such discretion.

[...except him. He's judging as hard as he can.]

I would think not. It is brewed from ingredients not found in this place.

[Many ~~bothans~~ succubi perished to bring us this information...]

I have my methods, and an endless supply of subjects whose resolve is bound to my own. Just know that unlike others, the subjects whom I have tested on are not bound by the same rules of life and death as humans know them.

[She ponders a bit. Why must he feed her curiosity so?]

...Of course I have a long way to go before I reach my peak. Perhaps I should try it then.

Just one question: Does this potion wear off?

[ She doesn't trust those methods.]

So, this challenge of yours is a way to test how this works on those not bound to you?

Orcs are bound by those rules, so I'll keep my scars.

Hrm. Not something I need... But I almost want to face your guards just for the challenge of it. Been a while since I had a decent fight, you know?

A Lord you say. Tis well to meet you then. I am Gilgamesh, and with this invite, I will let myself in to obtain the potion which you provide. I need it not for myself, but if there are things of rarity to obtain, then I have a right to obtain it. Or I should say, I had a right before I ended up here.

Needless to say, I will be there soon to test your forces.

[Because it's what he does.]

That is up to you. Just as with any machine, keeping it in peak working order requires routine maintenance, and the body is nothing more than an extremely sophisticated machine.

I assure you that any results garnered by my subjects can easily extrapolate to others. They may not be bound by life and death, but their bodies still react as if they were among the living.

They are simply not bound to a single physical form.

Then perhaps I might actually have something far more to your liking. The undead that patrol my Laboratory are... admittedly fragile. Perhaps you would find more enjoyment in the true castle.

[Dracula chuckles.]

My my, aren't you quite the arrogant one, sir Gilgamesh. However, I warn you that I do not recognize claims of sovereignty or rights that one had outside this city. However, if it is my forces you wish to test, I can arrange to have my forces provide a test "worthy" of one such as you.

[Puzzles some more.]

So taking care of my health the natural way would suffice?

Hrm. Could be an interesting little challenge for one like me. I've heard interesting ideas about your holdings, after all.

Though I never was much for the murderhobo way of living.

It should, yes. But as I have found, the human form is rather fleeting. Permanence is not something it excels at.

The offer remains open. Simply come to the gates of Castlevania and your game will lie within. I assure you, you will not want for challenge.

No one respects the titlings of another party n this land it seems. And here I thought a Lord at least would stand to at least be curtious. I guess a poor Lord is a poor Lord.

[He shakes his head condescendingly before looking seriously into the camera.]

Perhaps that would make for a good way to erase the boredom that possesses me at this time. The tincture would definitely make for a great prize as well. Do provide at least a modicium of amusement won't you?

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[Video]

<-- This is a man

So that's what a miserable little pile of secrets looks like.

Re: So that's what a miserable little pile of secrets looks like.

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