genessia | 05 | We need to talk...

Entry tags:

05 | We need to talk... | Closed

Who: Airy Miller and Nathan Drummond
Where: Holly Ridge Room 201
When: Backdated to May 3rd

[It's taken her a few days to work up her courage and finally talk to Nathan. It's annoying when you see someone everyday and there is something on your mind but it just isn't forming into words. Instead the topics of conversation have been about the weather, breakfast and Airy making things form in the apartment which usually ends in a fit of giggles on Airy's end.

She's talked to a few people about her future and she needs to talk to Nathan but deep down she's a chicken. Like anything that fumes just beneath the surface is comes out randomly and without much forethought.]

Nathan I need to talk to you!

[Not the way to start a conversation.]

I mean... you're off today right? Can we... [She motions with her hands.] Talk about some stuff? Or hang out and talk. Stuff that involves talking.

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[He looks up from the script he was reading on the sofa and smiles. She's awkward about something but he has no idea what. After talking to Dave, he isn't even sure how to talk to her about the future, or...talk to her at all, but he knows Dave's right. They need to.]

Sure, what's up?

[He closes the script and sets it down on the coffee table.]

[Airy takes a small step forward slipping down to the sofa so she's sitting next to him. Her fingers lace together in her lap while her eyes fall to the script.]

Oh, what you reading?

[She shakes her head.]

No, that isn't what I wanted to ask. Can we talk about the future? I mean... mine, our? the...

[He glances at the script, then back to her, swallowing. So, he'd wasted too much time and she was starting this.

That's...good to know.]

Uh...yeah. We can.

I do want to go to the dreamdocks. [This part he knows.] But I haven't because....

[She frowns.]

Well because of you. I don't want to upset you but at the same time I want the memories that we supposedly share.

Even if some are bad...

[He clenches his jaw. Somewhere, deep down, Nathan had known that was what she'd wanted to talk about, but even after hearing it, he could do nothing but swallow and look away for a moment.]

Yeah, I, uh, wanted to talk to you about that, too.

[Bright emerald eyes watch as Nathan looks away from her. She doesn't understand why but seeing him turn away hurt.

Airy bites her lip, keeping her questions and comments on hold for the time being.]

What did you want to say?

[He still hasn't worked out how to say it, to tell her what they wanted with her, but Dave was right. He couldn't hide it from her anymore.]

...that you stayed with us almost two months, and then...someone kidnapped you. He worked for a vampire named Amadeus. Amadeus wanted to use you to help destroy a node of power, but...he's sadistic, and he...did terrible things to you.

That's...why I didn't want to tell you about the future.

[She roughly already knows this much though she doesn't stop Nathan, hearing it from him makes it feel very real.]

Thank you Nathan. Not for telling me but for letting me stay with you back in New York. [Not that she remembers but it makes her really happy. She thought she'd scare people away with that she was.]

Ah, and for telling me but... I live right. So... it might be bad but I think in the end it'll be okay. After all, I have a friend like you right?

[It is easier to talk confidently because she doesn't understand the pain of what happens.]

[He smiles sadly, looking down. He wishes it was that easy.]

I...I'm going to leave for a while, right after.

[Airy's brows furrow slightly.]

What do you mean? I mean... [She shakes her head trying to piece together pieces of information she'd gotten before.]

You said you were training.

[He nods, still not looking up to her.]

And I had to go away for a while to do it.

Is that so bad? People go away to college to learn.

[She doesn't understand what he means and it's a little frustrating that he keeps looking at the floor.]

Hey Nathan... [Airy leans forward, dark hair spilling over her shoulder as she tries to meet his gaze.] You can talk to me. I don't know how much it sucks but you can trust me.

[He shakes his head. She really didn't get it, not that he was helping with that.]

I mean I left. You hadn't even woken up yet. They took me away because they said I was a danger to you...and everyone. I was gone for a year. I wasn't allowed to contact you, or anybody else.

[His words hurt in a way that surprises Airy. She swallows it and waits to deal with that feeling later.]

But you came back.

[Her voice is soft and kind.]

And you left to protect people right? That's really brave of you.

[At least, that's how Airy sees it.]

[He shakes his head, still not looking at her.]

I left because I was forced to.

[Airy is confused and slowly growing more frustrated. He left because he had to, because he was dangerous, because he hurt people but he was forced. A knot twists in her chest and she sits back on the couch, trying to find the right question to ask.

She's trying to understand but she just can't. She doesn't know what happened and she only has minimal context for all of this. She'd been kidnapped, yes, but they saved her. Nathan left but he came back.

So why won't he look at me?]

Why didn't you want to leave?

[Her eyes stay on the couch as she spoke and her tone sounds tired.]

Is it my fault?

[Had she done something that he isn't telling her? Maybe she really is a bad friend.]

No, Airy. It's mine.

[He takes a breath.]

You went out to get us coffee. That's how they got you alone to take you in the first place. When we found you...I killed...a lot of people.

[Airy almost jumps, his tone probably more forceful than he meant. She stares at him, feeling her heart sink further into her chest.]

How is that your fault?

[She wonders if it’s irony that she’d been taken while drinking coffee agan.]

I probably jumped at the chance to get you coffee… [That sounds weird.] I mean, it isn’t like you can stay with me all the time. [With work and stuff.] And… you told me you killed people. You said it was an accident… I don’t know what that is like but…

[She doesn’t know why but Airy feels like she’s going to start crying.]

Isn’t it my fault too? I don’t want you to take the blame for that… I don’t think it’s your fault.

[Airy doesn’t know the whole story but she doesn’t have to. She knows, in her heart, that Nathan is a good person. That he’ll blame himself no matter what she says but that doesn’t mean she isn’t going to try.]

[He scoffed, not a complimentary sound, and shook his head, finally looking up to her afterward, his expression pained.]

You exist, Airy. You were born. You have powers most people don't. That makes you a target for people who want it. How is that your fault?

[Airy's frustration and confusion reach a peek. She grits her teeth, fighting back the whirlwind of emotions that have begun turning within her chest.]

AND HOW IS IT YOUR FAULT!?

[She doesn't mean to yell but she's to frustrated to keep her voice down.]

I had to figure out most of what happened from OTHER PEOPLE. If you're going to blame yourself for anything at least do it for the things you did! [Pot calling the kettle black.] It isn't ANYONE's fault that I was born this way or that bad stuff happened. It won't be the end of the world because one thing I know about myself is that I SUCK at giving up. [She ran away once but she doesn't consider that giving up.

Her anger slowly dies off and Airy starts to feel tired. She sits back on the couch with her head back, her eyes closed to fight away any stray tears.]

I just want you to be honest with me. Stop putting everything on yourself... its annoying.

[The anger in Airy's voice startles him, but her words quickly change his surprise to anger. He realizes, in the grand scheme of things, that he doesn't actually know her that well. He's known her for a little over a month back home, and then here, keeping his distance, but...]

That's rich coming from you! Everything's your fault. You decided to come to New York. You got us pulled into a war. You, you, you.

[Airy looks up at Nathan, her brow furrowing. She stands and turns towards him.]

I don't even remember that! And I'm sorry I came to New York since that clearly ruined everything for you.

[She's angry and upset, each word bleeding with the pain she felt welling inside of her.]

You didn't ruin anything, Airy! You made me see everything I was missing all my life! You don't get it, though.

[He took a deep breath, standing and pacing away from her, running his hands through his hair.]

We hardly knew each other at all, but I'd do anything to protect you! Anything, and I couldn't!

I don't get it because you haven't explained any!

[Her fingers curl into fists as she spoke. Her arms were shaking at her sides and her cocktail of emotions brimmed with anger. She hasn't blamed anything on herself, at least not yet, and while they lived together she didn't really feel like she knew him. Like he isn't giving her the chance.]

If you'd rather I just leave then fine!

[Airy takes a step towards the door though that involves moving around Nathan.]

I don't need you or anyone to protect me!

Did I say I wanted you to leave? [He glares, his gaze burning with his anger. When it explodes, it's pretty intense.]

What do you want me to explain, huh? That you were kidnapped on my watch and tortured mercilessly for months, and that we couldn't even find you? Which part do you want me to explain, Airy?

[Airy turns on him, her heels scraping against the ground as she stomps.]

I want you to explain the part where you're keeping things from me. That you say we're friends and then keep me at arms length. I don't even know what we are! THIS isn't how friends treat each other Nathan!

So NO, we aren't friends. I don't even know you! And it's because you won't let me!

I don't want to freak you out! This is for your own good!

[He takes a deep breath in an attempt to calm his nerves. It doesn't work.]

I don't even know what happened the year I was gone, except you ended up falling for an asshole who treated you like a damned accessory.

[Shit.]

[Airy's teeth clench together.]

Some asshole? And how you're treating me down is better? Like I'm some doll or child?

Well I don't know what happens either and the only reason I haven't gone to see is because of you. Because I trusted you!

[She isn't sure what would be worse but she'd had rather known and she had rather heard it from Nathan himself.]

Than how Luther treats you? Yes!

[He takes another breath.]

Luther is a controlling bastard who uses his special vampy strength to hold you up against a wall, just so you can't talk to me!

What?

[Airy's angry and Nathan's explanation only has her more confused.]

Well, it isn't like you are talking to me.

[He takes a breath, this time letting it out as a hiss through clenched teeth.]

Fine. What do you want me to say, Airy? Huh?

The truth! Tell me the truth or at least stop pretending to be my friend if you won't

[She isn't thinking clearly and she'll regret saying that in the next 10 minutes.]

I- [He cut himself off.] When did I lie?

[Airy's gaze falls to the ground and her voice loses its volume.]

You're not telling me something and I don't even know what it is and I don't even know who Luther is or what...

[She inhales a shuttering breath and tries to not think about crying.]

I know bad things happen but... I don't feel like I know you at all Nathan.

[She doesn't know why she's trying either and with that thought, the sinking feeling returns to her chest. It hurts so much, this who conversion hurts.]

[He watches her, frowning himself.]

What do you want me to tell you? That we only knew each other for a little over a month, but that it felt like home for the first time since before I left for college? That I felt responsible because I helped Tony convince you to stay in the first place? What?

I don't know.

[Her hand grabs hold of her arm as if to hold herself together.]

I don't know Nathan... You won't believe me if I tell you that it wasn't your fault. If I stayed then I stayed because I wanted too...

[Airy's voice trails off and she looks down at her feet.]

And if I tell you what happened, you won't understand then, either.

[He shakes his head.]

It's not...you're not the same person after it happens.

You don't know that!

[She looks up at him and feels her heart twist in her chest.]

I'm not the Airy that you know then...

[That is a surprisingly upsetting thought and Airy feels herself stepping back towards the door. She wants to leave, to think or just run to the dream docks now. Then she'd be someone he knew, then he'd know her.]

You're...the Airy I knew over a year ago, before all the terrible things that...that happened to you, and to the people you care about. I just got back, and I know that it's been a burden, and that it'll always be a burden.

I don't...I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to have to carry it anymore, ...and I'm part of it.

[He pauses, running a hand through his hair.]

I kept you away because I'm part of it.

[Airy listens but there are parts that don't make sense to her. She bites her lower lip, trying to stop herself from shaking.]

Then why am I here?

[Why is she staying with someone who doesn't even want to be close to her? Which means they really aren't friends and that fact alone breaks her heart.]

If you want to keep me away I'm leaving Nathan...

[She doesn't look back, she turns and pushes her way threw the door. It isn't like he wants her around anyway so she has no reason to stay. She wants to cry and after that conversation she doesn't want Nathan to see.]

Airy, wait!

[He runs to the door of their apartment after her, trying to stop her in the hall.]

Airy, please, don't do this.

What?

[She's walking very quickly and already at the end of the hall. There are tears gathering in her eyes but she's using all her strength to hold them back.]

Don't do what? Leave? We're stuck here Nathan. It's not like I can leave Genessia.

[Airy raises her palm to press against her right eye. Anything to stop from crying.]

It...it's dangerous out there, Airy. I... [He takes another breath.] I don't want anything to happen to you.

Nothing's going to happen to me Nathan.

[She sounds exasperated and even if she goes back to her room she might just sneak out the window. They're on the first floor and her window leads to the back alley.

Airy wants to tell him that he shouldn't be concerned, he shouldn't care but her words are caught somewhere between her mind and her throat.]

Yeah? [He scoffs, his anger and frustration at his own failure welling up again.] You mean like nothing happened when you were drugged at the Library?

[His words stab painfully into her chest.]

It won't happen again. Trust me.

[He probably doesn't trust her...]

You can't promise that.

[He looks down.]

And I can't protect you. That much is obvious.

[Airy's eyes move towards the floor and she listens to the painful drum of her heart.]

Fine, I'll go to my room then.

[She steps forward keeping her gaze down as she walks.]

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05 | We need to talk... | Closed

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