Ted figured that if the thing would wound like a bear trap, at least he wouldn't be in that much pain. Being numb had some upsides! Besides, this was for kids. Surely even...whenever this park was in operation, they had some concern for child safety. Right?

Of course they did. And of course he'd read aloud: that's talking, his favorite. "Certainly!" He motioned toward one of the tables and sat down. The last well he found involved, on some level, playing along, so perhaps they needed to order something to win the game. He rang a bell and banged on the table a few times and shouted "Waiter!", to little avail. He cleared his throat and began.

In the woods where children play, four siblings got in trouble
They went to tease a kindly woman and make mischief on the double
With broom and boiling cauldron, she was not all she seemed
A witch with spells and curses and wicked eyes that gleamed!
So the children played their pranks and mocked her for a time
But witches prank back twice as hard, and did so for their crime
One by one the little boys became beasts through and through
So best behave, you little scamps, or else the curse may come to you!"

Ted made a small laugh. "Goodness, talk about your grim fairy tales!" There was a backside to it, but Ted would hardly notice it on his own.