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Entry tags:
seven ticks; text
its me again here to inform you of a holiday television promotion for those of you who want to do shit dick outside of your homes in these loving times
but first let me inform you about some tv and movie facts:
- i am not responsible for that news muppet i have no idea where that guy comes from
- alternative news featuring me as your anchorman can be located on channel 4 at 8am 7pm + 3am on weekends because i have nothing better to do
its good news my cat does the weather and i talk about important shit like what everglades recent announcements actually mean and where you can still get that cure from that nova water incident and a 20/20 piece investigation on where the fuck we can locate a pokemon
- i still need people to work doing behind the scenes stuff like lighting and cameras and scripts cause its all me rn or if you think your face would look boss on screen hit me up
- ive been slowly feeding films into the theater opening weekend this week for the shark movie sequel
anyways channel 12 is once again going fucking off the rails but this time with
~VALENTINES DAY~
starting today and ending in exactly a week you have access to this horrific collection of romcoms and drama nonsense i was carrying for someone else and am now stuck with
i dont want to explain quadrants so all the troll (if you remember porrim this what i mean by troll) films are limited to the pale one with softcore face touching between pals
smut at its finest
heres some examples of what you can watch this week while stuffing chocolate into your face that you bought yourself bc why do you need someone to hand it to you:
mr & ms smith - 2 spies kick everyones asses including eachothers and its a massive turn on for them
the notebook - ryan gosling is kind of a dick
little shop of horrors - an abusive relationship between a nerd and his plant
love actually - everyones got a fucking problem
good luck chuck - dane cook sleeps with women he would never get irl and they all realize they can do way better after except jessica alba i guess
night at the museum - a tiny roman and a little cowboy find love ft. ben stiller as their matchmaker
titanic - a boat hits a block of ice and everybody dies including your love interest
moonstruck - nic cage and cher ????
highschool musical - souring flying theres not an autotune not in sight
dirty dancing - is not actually that dirty but they had the time of their life
cast away - tom hanks falls in love with a vollyball while exploring his mail kink
twilight - kstew and whatshisname debate jumping off a cliff in the sequel she actually does but has failed to escape this vampire love triangle
moulin rouge - fuck i actually liked this one
pretty woman - im p sure she was doing coke and they never address it
but first let me inform you about some tv and movie facts:
- i am not responsible for that news muppet i have no idea where that guy comes from
- alternative news featuring me as your anchorman can be located on channel 4 at 8am 7pm + 3am on weekends because i have nothing better to do
its good news my cat does the weather and i talk about important shit like what everglades recent announcements actually mean and where you can still get that cure from that nova water incident and a 20/20 piece investigation on where the fuck we can locate a pokemon
- i still need people to work doing behind the scenes stuff like lighting and cameras and scripts cause its all me rn or if you think your face would look boss on screen hit me up
- ive been slowly feeding films into the theater opening weekend this week for the shark movie sequel
anyways channel 12 is once again going fucking off the rails but this time with
~VALENTINES DAY~
starting today and ending in exactly a week you have access to this horrific collection of romcoms and drama nonsense i was carrying for someone else and am now stuck with
i dont want to explain quadrants so all the troll (if you remember porrim this what i mean by troll) films are limited to the pale one with softcore face touching between pals
smut at its finest
heres some examples of what you can watch this week while stuffing chocolate into your face that you bought yourself bc why do you need someone to hand it to you:
mr & ms smith - 2 spies kick everyones asses including eachothers and its a massive turn on for them
the notebook - ryan gosling is kind of a dick
little shop of horrors - an abusive relationship between a nerd and his plant
love actually - everyones got a fucking problem
good luck chuck - dane cook sleeps with women he would never get irl and they all realize they can do way better after except jessica alba i guess
night at the museum - a tiny roman and a little cowboy find love ft. ben stiller as their matchmaker
titanic - a boat hits a block of ice and everybody dies including your love interest
moonstruck - nic cage and cher ????
highschool musical - souring flying theres not an autotune not in sight
dirty dancing - is not actually that dirty but they had the time of their life
cast away - tom hanks falls in love with a vollyball while exploring his mail kink
twilight - kstew and whatshisname debate jumping off a cliff in the sequel she actually does but has failed to escape this vampire love triangle
moulin rouge - fuck i actually liked this one
pretty woman - im p sure she was doing coke and they never address it