"Okay, slow your roll," Rose held up a hand and massaged between her eyes with the other. "I don't mean ranking." She cursed slightly under her breath. "Or prioritizing." She tilted her head to the side. Mickey said something like that, she's pretty sure. That the Doctor would always put her first, over him, over Mickey. But it wasn't the same. She never asked for that. Wouldn't let him, when he tried.
"It's what I said before. About Adam. He only takes the best." She gestured, intertwining two fingers and gesturing between Amy and herself. "You and me, and Rory and River too."
More massaging her eyes.
Being willing to wait?
WILLING TO WAIT?
WAS SHE?
WAS SHE REALLY?
She wanted to cry.
She didn't want to wait for him. Not again. Over and over and over and over again. And he didn't wait for her!!!
She grit her jaw stubbornly, looking up at the ceiling to hold back her rage.
"You didn't put your life on hold," she growled, tears in her eyes, despite her best efforts to quell them. "Look, you spoke before about choosing Rory over the Doctor. I chose him, the Doctor, over everything. Universe, life, my Mum, a Dad I never got to know before, Tony, my baby brother, and he tried to choose all that for me, because he knew what I'd do. Every time."
She took a deep breath, tears quenched for now, dammed by the rage in clenched fists. "I'm never going to let him choose me over anyone," she glared at Amy, not because she was angry with Amy, but because she didn't know how else to stress the sheer importance of that statement she'd already told both Doctors more than once each. Frustrated that she couldn't make it clear now. "That's demeaning to me. Unfair to everyone else." A feral sort of grin, like she knew she'd be chosen, but she wouldn't let it happen anyway. "If he wants something from me, he just has to actually try for it." Her eyes flashed dangerously. "But if he's too much a coward for that, I am not wasting my time being his safety net. If he'd rather chase after Renneitte, or Jack, or anyone else, he can have 'em. But he can't have me waiting for him at the door after all of it. He can't have it all ways, all the time, and no consequences. That's not how this works."
She rubbed her forehead, losing the snarling teeth for a bit as she cooled down. "If he wants me, he can't have certain other things. It's just how it is. He can have me as a friend. Always and forever. He can't even get rid of that, he's tried." She bore a small hole in the ceiling with her eyes mentally. "But anything else? He has to make an effort for. But if he doesn't want to lose everything else--" she grit her teeth all but ferally growling again, "Then let him be man enough to say it to my face."
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"It's what I said before. About Adam. He only takes the best." She gestured, intertwining two fingers and gesturing between Amy and herself. "You and me, and Rory and River too."
More massaging her eyes.
Being willing to wait?
WILLING TO WAIT?
WAS SHE?
WAS SHE REALLY?
She wanted to cry.
She didn't want to wait for him. Not again. Over and over and over and over again. And he didn't wait for her!!!
She grit her jaw stubbornly, looking up at the ceiling to hold back her rage.
"You didn't put your life on hold," she growled, tears in her eyes, despite her best efforts to quell them. "Look, you spoke before about choosing Rory over the Doctor. I chose him, the Doctor, over everything. Universe, life, my Mum, a Dad I never got to know before, Tony, my baby brother, and he tried to choose all that for me, because he knew what I'd do. Every time."
She took a deep breath, tears quenched for now, dammed by the rage in clenched fists. "I'm never going to let him choose me over anyone," she glared at Amy, not because she was angry with Amy, but because she didn't know how else to stress the sheer importance of that statement she'd already told both Doctors more than once each. Frustrated that she couldn't make it clear now. "That's demeaning to me. Unfair to everyone else." A feral sort of grin, like she knew she'd be chosen, but she wouldn't let it happen anyway. "If he wants something from me, he just has to actually try for it." Her eyes flashed dangerously. "But if he's too much a coward for that, I am not wasting my time being his safety net. If he'd rather chase after Renneitte, or Jack, or anyone else, he can have 'em. But he can't have me waiting for him at the door after all of it. He can't have it all ways, all the time, and no consequences. That's not how this works."
She rubbed her forehead, losing the snarling teeth for a bit as she cooled down. "If he wants me, he can't have certain other things. It's just how it is. He can have me as a friend. Always and forever. He can't even get rid of that, he's tried." She bore a small hole in the ceiling with her eyes mentally. "But anything else? He has to make an effort for. But if he doesn't want to lose everything else--" she grit her teeth all but ferally growling again, "Then let him be man enough to say it to my face."