genessia | Them Paper Boy Woes [Video

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Them Paper Boy Woes [Video | OTA]

[Garrus does not look happy.

Which is surprising, considering all of his facial scarring has seemingly miraculously cleared up over night, almost as if a certain mask had attached to his face.]

Did anyone else have their paper thrown directly at them, or am I just that lucky?

[Seriously, he had just been walking home, minding his own business, then BAM! Paper to the face. Not cool.]

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The newspaper boy always has a rather... good aim it seems.

[She hears stories about things being broken but it seemed rare for people to actually be hit.]

I've had it thrown through my window.

[And here's one of your deputies, looking less cyborg and more alien but wearing a similar mask to his usual one - except this one is made out of bone and not metal.]

It happened to me, soon after I arrived, that it did.

[ Hamusuke doesn't exactly have windows to break, since she lives in the forest. She couldn't fit in the Commons.]

I had happened in the past with the paperboy. At least no windows got broken this time? Our house is also suddently covered by bright lights and someone left a tree inside.

Garrus, what happened to your face?

The Paper Boy put a tree in your house? That's... odd. That's not one of his normal services. Maybe Cassian ordered one?

[Garrus begins to pat his cheeks and wishes he had a mirror nearby.] What do you mean? What's wrong with my face?

[Nothing feels off and he had definitely seen the blue face markings when he was getting ready that morning. He has no idea what Kay could possibly be talking about.]

[As far as Garrus can tell, Grievous has just swapped out masks.]

I've had the window before too, but this time he didn't even aim at my place. Soon as he saw me he pegged me. Lost my coffee and everything.

[It's probably best that one one saw their guardian flailing and dropping his cup when he was hit. Not the image of a defender.]

I just can't figure out why he would do it in the first place. I've never done him any harm.

[As far as Garrus knows, he's the first to be a victim.]

I don't know if his aim is all that good; he breaks windows every day. What's impressive is that arm of his. The amount of force it would take to throw papers as high as he does? It's not possible in any being I know of. Maybe he's non-organic? I'd love to see the specs of that arm... I wonder if it uses some sort of hydraulic system to give him that power?

[Realizing that he's been talking to himself, Garrus sheepishly looks back up at Haru.]

Sorry, I, uh, got a little excited there.

Not sure if it was him or someone else but there are weird decorations everywhere. I doubt it was Cassian because he's behaving like a jerkass now.

There's nothing wrogn with it, that's the thing. Did you get surgery for the scars?

He can be very hostile. Perhaps he should be dealt with and punished for his actions.

[Now, you might think the giant hamster would cause some alarm, but when you're from a universe where elcor exist, a talking rodent isn't really that far out.]

Really? Someone needs to do something about this, then. This is a form of assault and it needs to be stopped.

[Garrus' expression is deadpan.] Is that any different than normal? [Don't get him wrong, Cassian is a great guy, but Kay and Cass have been known to quarrel from time to time.]

[Garrus gives Kay an uncertain look as his hands drop from his face.] I've never gotten a scar in my life. Is your memory bank okay? Do you want me to take a look at it?

No, I don't... I don't think we need to punish him for it. That seems a little harsh. I'm sure it was just a misunderstanding.

If it happens a second time then we will know for sure.

[Wow, Garrus...Savage.
Kay likes it.]

It's a whole new level of jerkassery. He things he's part of the Empire. I locked him out of the house and took all his pokemon away just in case he tried to do anything idiotic.

Thanks but no thanks. My memory is fine, you fine wasn't. Not like your face isn't fine with the scars, I mean...but it wasn't fine like this. Something weird is going on but I can't figure out the pattern.

The Empire? [It sounds so familiar... They're anti-Empire, right?] But he hates the Empire? [It's definitely a question because he finds himself unsure. It's weird. He remembers Cassian and Kay, knows their his friends, but beyond that a lot of it is fuzzy.]

I'm pretty sure I would remember getting my face torn apart. [He thinks, at least. It seems likely, in any case. Besides, there are no scars so clearly he's wrong!] Besides, where would I even get a scar? It's not like I get into fights or anything, not if I can help it. I'd probably get my ass kicked in a fight.

Yeah, I guess. Maybe I could try to talk to him next time... Or maybe I should just write him a strongly-worded letter.

The bad guys who are trying to take over the whole galaxy in my world and killing everyone in the process. Destroying planets too. [Kay nods.] That's the problem! I don't know if he's been brainwashed or what.

Uh...well then. Good for you? It's a great thing, that not happening. [Waitasecond.] But you are a trained soldier, Garrus. That's were. And you have the nicest weapons.

Maybe all of the stress of the job's gotten to him. You could try taking him to a shrink.

[Garrus glances at the rifle against the window.]

No, my dad taught me how to shoot when I was a kid because he wanted me to join C-Sec. But I didn't. Studied abroad instead and went to college. I never went to combat school or whatever. I have nice weapons because I like them, not because I like using them.

It broke some of mine last time!

I don't know what I did?!

[ She's tearing up at the memory. Uh. ]

No one has stopped him for property damage, that they have not.
His weaknesses have yet to be revealed.

... He threw the paper at you?

[Someone sounds, and looks, somewhat concerned]

... Well that was rude of him, why would he?

[ Finally! ]

I have no idea! I've never even spoken to the guy. And let me tell you, the guy has some arm.

Has anyone tried just... talking to the guy?

That's terrible!

Doesn't he have a superior? Can't you talk to them and ask... that maybe he... not throw things at you anymore?

[look he has no idea how this shit works on earth, there's really nothing comparable here to what happens in heaven if you botch your job]

That can't be good for business, having your paper boy actually throw the paper at your subscribers...

It's fine. I honestly don't know how he manages it.

[But it really was something to think about anyway.]

But it seems like it's something of interest to you anyway.

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Them Paper Boy Woes [Video | OTA]

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