Newspaper - Saturday Edition

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[Did you subscribe to The Genessia Tribune? Did you even remotely wish you had a newspaper or some other form of media to refer to for news, weather, and current events? Then you're in luck! There's a paperboy riding through the streets of Genessia flinging newspapers onto doorsteps or, if you're unlucky, through your window. Even remote locations in the other cities will still get a paper if one of the residents ever wanted one. The Paperboy is just that dedicated.]

[And if you're one of the following people, and you happen to subscribe to the newspaper, the Paperboy may or may not have flung the newspaper through that person's window and/or broke something in the area: Orihime Inoue, Blake Belladonna, Jim Moriarty, James T. Kirk, and Ruby Rose.]



Increasing Employment

The job fair appears to have been a highly successful event. Although some citizens went through many, MANY careers during the week, a lot of necessary duties were fulfilled even if for only one day. Other sole proprietors established by newcomers to Genessia announced that their new businesses were also hiring, including Cafe Caradja which is celebrating its grand opening in Everglade, and the Winter-Hobbes Clinic which is accepting new patients for hypnotherapy sessions.

Singles Ads

Bear-Slaying Geek
SWM age 17 seeks SF age 16-19, must be cute. Interested in video games and nothing else. Favorite foods include everything under the sun. Call me to hear my story about killing a helpless giant bear all by my lonesome!

Are you a lonely sadsack? Maybe placing an ad will change your luck! Fill out the form below and send it in to see your ad in next week's paper! Names will not be shown, so be sure to include your radio frequency number. Who knows? You might meet someone dreamy! Or a creepy stalker! Try your luck today!

<b>Status/Race/Gender:</b> [Ex. SWF = single white female] <b>Seeking Status/Race/Gender:</b> [If you're not picky, leave that letter out.] <b>Hobbies and Interests:</b> <b>Favorite Foods:</b> <b>Noteworthy Traits and Accomplishments:</b>

Zombies on the Decline

The appearance of the lovingly entitled "Uber Zombies" has seen a sharp decline, thanks to the quick actions of City Guardian Harry Dresden and his devoted minions. Though the cause of these suddenly large zombies remains a mystery, citizens have admitted that it's nice to go for a morning jog and not trip over a dismembered corpse along the way. "Hardly anyone's getting eaten now," one satisfied citizen reported. "That's a plus!"

Weatherman on Drugs?

This week's weather forecaster appeared to suffer a nervous breakdown after delivering what appears to be an erratic and nonsensical prediction of weather patterns for the upcoming week. Such predictions included dangerous lightning storms, extreme differences in temperature, heavy rain and flooding, and even a rain of pigeon poop. The weatherman, normally unflappable and bald, became a hysterical raving mess (and still bald), gibbering "We're all screwed! We're so screwed!" before stuffing his suitcases and running out the door.

New Advice Column

The Genessia Tribue is proud to announce that an advice columnist has just been hired. Please submit any and all requests for anonymous advice to our office, care of 'Dear Tabby'. All responses will be issued on a weekly or biweekly basis depending on the volume of incoming mail.


Your Weather Forecast
Genessia
*Sunday, December 15 - Typhoon. High 38 F / Low 22 F
*Monday, December 16 - Sunny! High 117 F / Low -39 F
*Tuesday, December 17 - Raining Cats and Dogs. High 36 F / Low 27 F
*Wednesday, December 18 - Blizzard. High 35 F / Low 23 F
*Thursday, December 19 - Lightning Storm. High 39 F / Low 32 F
*Friday, December 20 - Tornado. High 47 F / Low 39 F
*Saturday, December 21 - Sand Storm. High 44 F / Low 32 F

Attleton
*Sunday, December 15 - Sunny! High 48 F / Low 27 F
*Monday, December 16 - Mostly sunny. High 54 F / Low 28 F
*Tuesday, December 17 - Mostly sunny. High 53 F / Low 30 F
*Wednesday, December 18 - Sunny! High 58 F / Low 39 F
*Thursday, December 19 - Lightning storm. High 56 F / Low 21 F
*Friday, December 20 - Cloudy. High 29 F / Low 17 F
*Saturday, December 21 - Sandstorm. High 33 F / Low 15 F

Everglade
*Sunday, December 15 - Few showers. High 46 F / Low 37 F
*Monday, December 16 - Sandstorm. High 47 F / Low 33 F
*Tuesday, December 17 - Partly cloudy. High 46 F / Low 38 F
*Wednesday, December 18 - Rain. High 43 F / Low 29 F
*Thursday, December 19 - Partly cloudy. High 38 F / Low 29 F
*Friday, December 20 - Light rain. High 40 F / Low 34 F
*Saturday, December 21 - Few showers. High 43 F / Low 37 F

Fayren
*Sunday, December 15 - Windy/PM light rain. High 54 F / Low 53 F
*Monday, December 16 - Rain/wind. High 55 F / Low 42 F
*Tuesday, December 17 - Tornado. High 45 F / Low 41 F
*Wednesday, December 18 - Showers/wind. High 51 F / Low 43 F
*Thursday, December 19 -Scattered showers. High 47 F / Low 37 F
*Friday, December 20 - Ice storm. High 49 F / Low 48 F
*Saturday, December 21 - Ice storm. High 51 F / Low 45 F

Nova City
*Sunday, December 15 - Pigeon poop. High 50 F / Low 38 F
*Monday, December 16 - Windy/partly cloudy. High 52 F / Low 38 F
*Tuesday, December 17 - Partly cloudy. High 54 F / Low 39 F
*Wednesday, December 18 - PM showers. High 50 F / Low 42 F
*Thursday, December 19 - Showers. High 50 F / Low 38 F
*Friday, December 20 - Typhoon. High 52 F / Low 35 F
*Saturday, December 21 - Partly cloudy. High 52 F / Low 34 F


(OOC: Would you like to submit a story, or be featured in this paper? Let me know! Here's a list of columns I'd like to see:
*Spotlight on Genessia Citizens
*Horoscopes
*Movie Reviews)

Also, apologies that this is a day late! A three-hour shift became an eight and a half hour shift when someone called in sick.