Newspaper - Saturday Edition

[plus_tip]

[Did you subscribe to The Genessia Tribune? Did you even remotely wish you had a newspaper or some other form of media to refer to for news, weather, and current events? Then you're in luck! There's a paperboy riding through the streets of Genessia flinging newspapers onto doorsteps or, if you're unlucky, through your window. Even remote locations in the other cities will still get a paper if one of the residents ever wanted one. The Paperboy is just that dedicated.]

[And if you're one of the following people, and you happen to subscribe to the newspaper, the Paperboy may or may not have flung the newspaper through that person's window and/or broke something in the area: Orihime Inoue, Blake Belladonna, Jim Moriarty, James T. Kirk, and Ruby Rose.]



Increasing Employment

The job fair appears to have been a highly successful event. Although some citizens went through many, MANY careers during the week, a lot of necessary duties were fulfilled even if for only one day. Other sole proprietors established by newcomers to Genessia announced that their new businesses were also hiring, including Cafe Caradja which is celebrating its grand opening in Everglade, and the Winter-Hobbes Clinic which is accepting new patients for hypnotherapy sessions.

Singles Ads

Bear-Slaying Geek
SWM age 17 seeks SF age 16-19, must be cute. Interested in video games and nothing else. Favorite foods include everything under the sun. Call me to hear my story about killing a helpless giant bear all by my lonesome!

Are you a lonely sadsack? Maybe placing an ad will change your luck! Fill out the form below and send it in to see your ad in next week's paper! Names will not be shown, so be sure to include your radio frequency number. Who knows? You might meet someone dreamy! Or a creepy stalker! Try your luck today!

<b>Status/Race/Gender:</b> [Ex. SWF = single white female] <b>Seeking Status/Race/Gender:</b> [If you're not picky, leave that letter out.] <b>Hobbies and Interests:</b> <b>Favorite Foods:</b> <b>Noteworthy Traits and Accomplishments:</b>

Zombies on the Decline

The appearance of the lovingly entitled "Uber Zombies" has seen a sharp decline, thanks to the quick actions of City Guardian Harry Dresden and his devoted minions. Though the cause of these suddenly large zombies remains a mystery, citizens have admitted that it's nice to go for a morning jog and not trip over a dismembered corpse along the way. "Hardly anyone's getting eaten now," one satisfied citizen reported. "That's a plus!"

Weatherman on Drugs?

This week's weather forecaster appeared to suffer a nervous breakdown after delivering what appears to be an erratic and nonsensical prediction of weather patterns for the upcoming week. Such predictions included dangerous lightning storms, extreme differences in temperature, heavy rain and flooding, and even a rain of pigeon poop. The weatherman, normally unflappable and bald, became a hysterical raving mess (and still bald), gibbering "We're all screwed! We're so screwed!" before stuffing his suitcases and running out the door.

New Advice Column

The Genessia Tribue is proud to announce that an advice columnist has just been hired. Please submit any and all requests for anonymous advice to our office, care of 'Dear Tabby'. All responses will be issued on a weekly or biweekly basis depending on the volume of incoming mail.


Your Weather Forecast
Genessia
*Sunday, December 15 - Typhoon. High 38 F / Low 22 F
*Monday, December 16 - Sunny! High 117 F / Low -39 F
*Tuesday, December 17 - Raining Cats and Dogs. High 36 F / Low 27 F
*Wednesday, December 18 - Blizzard. High 35 F / Low 23 F
*Thursday, December 19 - Lightning Storm. High 39 F / Low 32 F
*Friday, December 20 - Tornado. High 47 F / Low 39 F
*Saturday, December 21 - Sand Storm. High 44 F / Low 32 F

Attleton
*Sunday, December 15 - Sunny! High 48 F / Low 27 F
*Monday, December 16 - Mostly sunny. High 54 F / Low 28 F
*Tuesday, December 17 - Mostly sunny. High 53 F / Low 30 F
*Wednesday, December 18 - Sunny! High 58 F / Low 39 F
*Thursday, December 19 - Lightning storm. High 56 F / Low 21 F
*Friday, December 20 - Cloudy. High 29 F / Low 17 F
*Saturday, December 21 - Sandstorm. High 33 F / Low 15 F

Everglade
*Sunday, December 15 - Few showers. High 46 F / Low 37 F
*Monday, December 16 - Sandstorm. High 47 F / Low 33 F
*Tuesday, December 17 - Partly cloudy. High 46 F / Low 38 F
*Wednesday, December 18 - Rain. High 43 F / Low 29 F
*Thursday, December 19 - Partly cloudy. High 38 F / Low 29 F
*Friday, December 20 - Light rain. High 40 F / Low 34 F
*Saturday, December 21 - Few showers. High 43 F / Low 37 F

Fayren
*Sunday, December 15 - Windy/PM light rain. High 54 F / Low 53 F
*Monday, December 16 - Rain/wind. High 55 F / Low 42 F
*Tuesday, December 17 - Tornado. High 45 F / Low 41 F
*Wednesday, December 18 - Showers/wind. High 51 F / Low 43 F
*Thursday, December 19 -Scattered showers. High 47 F / Low 37 F
*Friday, December 20 - Ice storm. High 49 F / Low 48 F
*Saturday, December 21 - Ice storm. High 51 F / Low 45 F

Nova City
*Sunday, December 15 - Pigeon poop. High 50 F / Low 38 F
*Monday, December 16 - Windy/partly cloudy. High 52 F / Low 38 F
*Tuesday, December 17 - Partly cloudy. High 54 F / Low 39 F
*Wednesday, December 18 - PM showers. High 50 F / Low 42 F
*Thursday, December 19 - Showers. High 50 F / Low 38 F
*Friday, December 20 - Typhoon. High 52 F / Low 35 F
*Saturday, December 21 - Partly cloudy. High 52 F / Low 34 F


(OOC: Would you like to submit a story, or be featured in this paper? Let me know! Here's a list of columns I'd like to see:
*Spotlight on Genessia Citizens
*Horoscopes
*Movie Reviews)

Also, apologies that this is a day late! A three-hour shift became an eight and a half hour shift when someone called in sick.

Comments

[jim_fixes_it]

Huh.

[And there's Jim Moriarty in a fluffy bathrobe and slippers looking down at the mess of broken glass surrounding the newspaper on his floor. Blinking, he calmly takes a sip of his morning tea.

Welp.

Whistling a little tune to himself, he takes his phone from his pocket and texts a quick message. Then he puts the phone away and looks out the window, still whistling.

Meanwhile, out there in the city, an unassuming citizen checks a phone and looks down the street at the sound of approaching bike tires. And then... just when the timing is right, the trap is sprung.

He turns the sprinkler on.]

[plus_tip]

[Distantly down the street, just a faint echo, comes the agonized howl of the Paperboy.]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo....!

[jim_fixes_it]

[Jim stays by the broken window, casually sipping tea as he looks out at his very non-typhoony home, when his phone beeps.

He looks down at it and smiles, flipping through apps and sending off a payment. That done, his phone goes back in his pocket and he takes a deep breath of morning air with a sigh of satisfaction.

He reaches down, picks up the paper and walks away, sipping his tea as he looks over the headlines, whistling to himself all the way.]

[short_n_sweet]

[Jaune narrows his eyes as he looks at a particular entry.]

Hey I totally like more things than-- A defenseless-- Who the heck?! They made me sound like a jerk!

...maybe half an hour after newspaper delivery

[scarlet_discord]

[Wanda's unit and the rooftop have been relatively quiet for most of her stay. She's been slowly remodeling the whole thing with magic, and when the power dies or the heat goes out and she's around, she's been forcing it back on. Flashes of blue light from her windows or the roof always accompany this, and sometimes from the heating grates or wall sockets as well. She often wears herself out, but she's been low-key and constructive about it all.]

[But it seems every time that she reads the weekly news she finds something in there to piss her right the Hell off. And so her apartment is now shaking merrily. She wads up the paper, leaving her apartment before she breaks anything, locking the door, stomping down the hall--causing tremors as she goes--heading up to the roof to vent.]

[The rooftop door slams open, and she stomps out into the howling wind and pounding rain, a blue aura brightening around her. The rain arcs around the light, and she doesn't even notice. She goes to the middle of the roof and starts screaming at the top of her lungs.]

MINION? FUCKING MINION? FUCK YOU! FUCK ALL YOU STUPID UNGRATEFUL CLUELESS ASSHOLES! [It's not the fame, it's Harry getting all the credit when she does not work for him, does not take orders from anyone and only worked with him. Not even for pay. And yet she took as much of a risk and got just as hurt. Why, because he has a title and she doesn't?]

Fuck this. I'm going treasure hunting in Fayren.

[She's too angry to be afraid, so she starts changing the wind patterns to try and ride them, and slowly lifting off the roof.]

[no_love_potions]

[Minions.

Minions.

Uh oh.

Harry's worst fears are realized when the entire damn building starts shaking around him, almost enough to shake the pictures (no let's be real, posters) off his walls.

Creeping over to the window, he gets there just in time to watch an enraged Wanda soar off into the storm in a nimbus of blue light.]

Eep.

[scarlet_discord]

[Wanda finds herself hundreds of feet above the ground for the first time in her entire life, adrenaline maxing out, which only kicks up her power level and the light around her. Her brain is managing to dual-run "OH MY GOD OH MY GOD WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING UP HERE" with "I am going to absolutely wreck the shit out of some giant horror who desperately deserves it AS SOON AS I FIND THEM" and meanwhile the wind is pushing her all over the place while she gives her a crash-course in imitating Ororo Munroe.]

[The blue firefly high in the air darts around, back and forth, as her rage turns from finding a target to targeting the storm itself. For a while, it even works. But even powerful, she's twenty, and new at this, and in the end she only really manages to dial the typhoon back from "potentially deadly" to "still destructive and absolutely miserable". By then she's freezing, soaked through and almost completely out of mojo.]

[And so the streak of blue light falls after about five minutes. It flares once as she lets off the last of her juice reaching for a burst of luck to keep from getting killed.]

[She wakes up a minute later sunk deep into a giant pile of foam at a pillow factory. It takes her a few moments to figure out where she is and that she's alive. Then a sigh emanates from deep within the foam.]

...fuck.

[no_love_potions]

[Aaaaand on top of everything else, her phone's going off, beeping away in her pocket. When she answers it, there's a voice message from Harry, distorted slightly by the sound of wind howling around him.]

Feel better now?

[scarlet_discord]

[Her response is a somewhat breathless growl.] Yeah, rub it in, rock star.

[A shifting sound as she tests the enormous pile of foam chunks she's fallen into.] A bunch of us risk our necks, you take all the credit. And you're the only one who gets paid, too. Why not call me up and laugh at me on top of it?

[no_love_potions]

[Sigh. He guesses that's a fair enough sentiment on her part. She had fought just as hard as he did that day, minus a shout-out in the local paper.]

I don't write the papers, and I can't help who they decide to shove all the credit on.

But I'm not laughing at you. A lot of people are alive right now because of what you did, probably me too. If that's not worth more to you than some mention in the newspaper, I don't know what to tell you.

[descendsfromshadow]

[OOC: AND ALSO! Everybody check this out for all your advice seeking needs.]


[A broken window is bad enough.

A typhoon is even worse.

A typhoon and a broken window? WORST NIGHTMARE IS A GO!]

[So the door to Blake's apartment is banging open while the wind and rain howls through it and out she comes, drenched in AWFUL, TERRIBLE, HORRID rainwater, hair and bow all askew and windblown and clutching Gambol Shroud and a few books she managed to save in her arms.

She just kicks the door closed behind her and then slumps back against it.]

[Why?!]

[solar_flare]

[Yang looks back with surprise, a few nails hanging out of the corner of her mouth. She's got one hand pushing a table up against the window, the wooden legs sticking out, and a hammer in the other hand. There's a big wet spot on the carpet along with a soggy newspaper, and Yang herself is more than a little soaked with her blonde hair plastered to her face and back. She blinks at Blake.]

I guess you're a subscriber too, huh?

[descendsfromshadow]

[Oh no! All of Blake's safe havens are vanishing one-by-one! This truly is the worst day ever.

... But at least Sun isn't here to see her like this.]

Yeah.

[She stands up with a sigh, still holding her things and looking around for a dry place to set them down.]

I'll help you clean up.

[solar_flare]

[Don't say it's the worst day ever, look what happened to Ruby when SHE said it.]

That would be awesome. Thanks! Here, can you hold up the other side?

[Yang's a powerhouse, but a table's still going to slip and tilt out of place so long as Yang can't stretch out her arms to ridiculous lengths.]

[descendsfromshadow]

[Good point. Retracted.]

[She dumps off her armload of stuff and heads over to the table, helping to keep it level. After a little while of that, she glances toward Ruby's door.]

... How is she?

[onecream_fivesugar]

[Ruby can't get out of bed right now, She's still trying to recover from the whole kidnapping ordeal.

She's in bed with at least three blankets wrapped around her (courtesy of Yang) when she hears the window break AGAIN. She'll try to roll over in frustration but fail.]

Yaaaaaaang...! The windows broken again...

[Is there a storm outside? She's still kind of out of it.]

[solar_flare]

Again...? We just got it fixed...!

[She grumbles sleepily and just hugs her burrito sister.]

Five more minutes.

[onecream_fivesugar]

Hmmmmmm... Okay.

[Normally Ruby wouldn't be so accepting to Yang's affection, but right now she was just happy to alive and not freezing. She was still weak and worn from the events of the other day and honestly hadn't moved to far from the bed since she got home.

She'll nuzzle up as close as to Yang as her burrito blanket casing will allow.]

[solar_flare]

[Ordinarily Yang wouldn't ever want to leave. She knows she can't allow Ruby to get too dependent on her, but these are special circumstances that would have roughed up anyone's mental fortitude. But it's kind of hard to warm someone up when the winds are howling and there's a small lake starting to grow outside of their window.]

He is SO not getting a tip this month.

[Groggily, Yang drags herself upright and yawns.]

Go back to sleep, I'll go take care of it.

[She leaves the bedroom and closes the door behind her. It isn't long before there's the sound of wood being dragged over the floor, and then loud hammering.]

[onecream_fivesugar]

[Ruby just huffs a little in response. Stupid paper boy.]

Alright...

[She's not exactly thrilled with the idea of Yang leaving the bed, but she knew the window had to be taken care of. She doesn't spend too much time worrying about it though as before Yang can even start hammering out there, Ruby's already fallen back asleep.]

[descendsfromshadow]

[With Yang off to table up the window in her apartment, Blake's left in the apartment to keep an eye on Ruby in case she needs anything. She takes a minute or two to get the stuff she'd dragged over put away before pausing and heading toward the bedroom door, opening it up a little and peering inside the dim room, just to check on her.]

Ruby?

[She speaks softly, not wanting to wake Ruby up if she's managed to fall asleep.]

[onecream_fivesugar]

[Ruby had managed to fall asleep for a little, but she's up again at the moment, just curled up in her safe and warm burrito of blankets. She's just staring into space when Blake opens up the door.]

Blake?

[She's a little surprised that it's not Yang, but she's always happy to have Blake around.]

[descendsfromshadow]

Yang's just next door for a minute, so I thought I'd check on you.

[Because as great as Yang is... sometimes it's helpful to talk to somebody who won't just shower you with positivity.

Blake steps just inside the room, standing with her arms folded.]

How are you feeling?

[onecream_fivesugar]

Thanks. T-thanks for everything, really...

[She'll force up the best and brightest smile she can, but it's pretty obvious she's nowhere near one hundred percent.

Still, if it wasn't for Blake and everyone else, she wouldn't have made it out from there. Words can't describe how grateful she is to have them around.]

Me? G-great, couldn't be better... really.

[...Ruby is the best liar in the world, clearly.]

You?

Rocking the single scene

[simon_petrikov]

Status/Race/Gender: Single eligible bachelor
Seeking Status/Race/Gender: Beautiful princess. (No fatties)
Hobbies and Interests: Plays drums, video games, practices magic
Favorite Foods: Pizza mostly
Noteworthy Traits and Accomplishments: I'm the King of a Kingdom! Maybe the Ice Kingdom. But maybe noooot~