genessia | Operation 26

[The week seemed to be treating Gale relatively nicely, even though he's had a bit of a personal zoo expansion with the addition of new Pokemon friends (which at least his Aerodactyl, Mareep and Cubone seemed happy with the new arrangement). He'd gotten himself a nice new collection of six, complete with one that wouldn't stay anywhere near Gale despite him catching it- Trubbish always seemed more interested in producing some sort of odd gas before running off somewhere where Gale couldn't find him. Luckily wind magic would disperse the gas before Gale could breathe it, but, well. It's gotten a few pedestrians a few times and Gale had to get them to the hospital to sleep it off. He had half a mind to put a bounty out for the damn thing.

But that wouldn't come to pass because there was a bigger investigation that Gale had to carry out. He was a deputy, so he kind of actually had to pay attention to civilian concerns now, and there was something about a big horrifying bird. How scary could a bird be, really?

Well. Pretty damn scary when it turns out it's big enough to carry him off in its giant talon and he's left clutching his little Vulpix in his arms so he wouldn't lose her, while he has to scramble to send out a calm, casual, rational text.]

SOS

ABDUCTED BY GIANT BIRD

WAS NOT AWARE BIRDS COULD GET THIS BIG

HOW TO INFORM LARGE BIG THAT A CYBORG IS MOSTLY INEDIBLE?

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

[Well, this is certainly not a message he expected to get. And a text, no less! Good to see he's taking this seriously.

Any person calling this in would be important, but as this is one of his deputies, it's top priority right now. Garrus needs information and he needs it now, so his voice is gruff and serious.]</small Reinhart, status update! What is your position?

have u tried yelling 'caw cacaw caw caw' at it yet?

[Sorry Gale, Dante is laughing his ass off.]

[Instead of sending back a response right away, Gale first sends Garrus a selfie of himself holding his terrified Vulpix whilst in the talon of a very large bird]

POSITION IS IN THE SKY

THIS IS NOT IDEAL

0/10 TERRIBLE ADVICE

THINK I ACCIDENTALLY INSULTED ITS MOTHER

well now u have to double down on it

make it so mad it puts u down so it can pull a switchblade on u

NOT SO SURE THAT'S A GOOD IDEA

I DON'T WANT TO SEE THE SIZE A SWITCHBLADE FOR THIS THING WOULD BE

well when it puts u down itll prolly forget why it did and fly off bein a birdbrain and all

Serves you right for getting more stupid animals.

Just sick your arm in its mouth and then it will know.

I believe saving damsels in distress from giant monsters is the job of the Fayren knights.

[Sorry, not his ~~table~~ town.]

Let him peck you a couple times on the metal. Yeah?

[Oh hey, a cyborg? That pinged him more than the SOS thing.]

Depends. Some birds need iron in their diet.

[Sorry, he's not helping.]

Edited 2018-03-02 13:00 (UTC)

[GIANT BIRD YOU SAY!?]

Try to eat it back.

[Gale finally got capslock turned off.]

I don't know
its brain is probably bigger than I am

no that is not a dick joke for once shut up

my companions aren't stupid

[He definitely took the moment out of being afraid for his life to be mildly offended.]

p sure it's large enough that it wouldn't notice just my arm

WELL GOOD I'M NOT DRESSED IN MY DAMSEL BEST ANYWAY

I BET YOU'D SAVE A DAMSEL TIED TO RAILROAD TRACKS

[Damsels are in more than just fantasy worlds!!!]

I DON'T THINK IT SO MUCH PECKS AS IT DOES SWALLOW THINGS WHOLE

PROBABLY ILL ADVISED

THERE ARE PLENTY OF OTHER WAYS TO GET IRON

EATING A CYBORG IS NOT AN OPTIMAL SOLUTION

0/10 ILL ADVISED

BIRD IS VERY LARGE

ALSO THINK IT'S FROWNED UPON TO EAT A POKE MAN

[That message sends, then is quickly followed up by another-]

FUCKING AUTO CORRECT

[Even when he's in peril, he'll still curse auto correct. This is the second time, damn it!]

Well I didn't say eat it all in one sitting! Big birds are good, they can last you the rest of winter.

Oh, it's one of those. Then no, don't eat intelligent animals. [Dray would be offended at that.

Auto-correct is the worst.]

You could try to reason with it.

Don't you have hover cars in Nova City? No railroad tracks.

[Be as obtuse as possible? Check.]

woe, that's a really big bird. and it caught you. maybe your a pokemon for him lol?

*making faces at her phone just because she is immature and knows he can't see*

Get it to lick you instead then.

Well I'm sure birds love shiny things, so maybe you had something that it liked.

[Are you fucking shitting him right now.]

Yeah, I got that. Put your god damn camera on and give me a visual. Are there any landmarks nearby that might help me find you so I can get someone out to you? There are people who can do sky here.

[Even if it's just a matter of them catching Gale while Garrus bangs out a headshot on whatever the fuck that thing is. He's already got his mantis out and ready as he scans the skies.]

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voice damn it