15 Hats | Text

[trollkeru]

'...And the moral of the story is, sometimes sacrifices have to be made, even if they are painful.'

What would people think of that for the last line of a story? I am not a fan and think it could be done better, but just don't know how exactly yet.

On that note, though I've just got back from the Dream Docks a couple days ago and that was certainly an interesting experience. It did take a load off my mind and now I can really focus on things here for the time being.

I'm planning on going back to school come September since it seems like the way schools work here work like schools across the pond so to speak, so starting days are different than in Japan. So until then, I figured I might as well write short stories or something to pass the time between work and the first day.

Comments

[mother_of_monsters]

Usually, if a story is well written, people get the moral without having it explained so blatantly. I think it's more fun that way.

But depends on what you are writing and your audience. For young children, it's better if the moral is stated more bluntly.

[trollkeru]

True, but sometimes the end can be done like that like the author in the story has written the story within the story. If that makes sense? And it's their way of just saying it out loud.

But it still sounds kind of dumb.

For writing. Right now it's just for myself as I've been finding it relaxing.

[mother_of_monsters]

You mean one of the characters is also a writer or he's telling the moral of the story to someone? That's an option, I guess, but I am no writer so my advice might not be helpful.

Nice! What is the story about? Sacrifices of course, but what else?

[trollkeru]

Kind of like telling a story of one's adventures to someone, yes. So the latter example is correct.

I am no writer, just doing this to relax and for something to do, honestly.

The story is all about a groups adventures to another world, the trails they have to go through, what they learn along the way. How situations affect them, things like that.

[mother_of_monsters]

In that case, I think that explaining the moral of the story fits. You might see it as unfitting because you are the one who wrote the story and had known the moral from the beginning. We often can't appreciate our own work.

No, no, it's great. A good way to keep yourself entertained.

So you based it on your own experiences? Your girlfriend mentioned the digital world to me.

[astralera]

I think it would depend on what the rest of the story is. On its own without context I am not very fond of it.

May I ask what the Dream Docks are?

[trollkeru]

Right now, that's a secret and mostly because I have a lot to even write, so it would take a long time. So yeah, I agree not fond of it myself and considering changing it regardless.

How do I put it... it's basically a place you can do to view what happens after the point you get pulled in from.

[astralera]

Just write what flows naturally. If something doesn't feel right, change it.

I've experienced something like that before. I didn't realize there was something similar in this world. I might have to go there myself soon.

Would it be safe to assume by the name of it that the Dream Docks involve a minimum period of sleep?

[trollkeru]

That's what I am planning on doing.

Yes. It seems minimum of three days. I've heard of people going for longer, but it seems no sooner than three.

[astralera]

What safety measures are in place there?

[offwithhishat]

Depends on what the story in question is. Sounds like a tragic one to me.

Depends on how you write, too. It works if painfully blunt is your style. You also have to think about what exactly you're trying to get across to the reader and how you want them to perceive it.

[trollkeru]

Yeah, I think the story has it tragic moments.

You bring up a good point, but right now this is just a little something for me to do, so the reader isn't really anyone at the moment.

[offwithhishat]

Untrue. You're the reader. Maybe you're trying to get across something to yourself.

[trollkeru]

But if I'm writing it, wouldn't I already be aware of what I am trying to get across?

Ah, I think I see what you mean.

[offwithhishat]

Subconsciously, maybe. Or you're trying to come to terms with it.

Do you?

text

[intothelens]

[Hikari knew about his return, of course. They technically lived together, and his absence had been felt. Just as she was feeling the weight of certain words yet unspoken between them about his trip. A weight that even his claim of a load being off his mind could not ease.]

[But he hadn't said anything, and she wasn't the kind of person to up and ask. Not yet.]

It sounds like a sad story to me.

text

[trollkeru]

Sometimes stories don't have happy endings for everyone.

It is sad, I must admit though.

text

[intothelens]

No, they don't. You're right.

Especially any story that involves a sacrifice. Even one can be one too many.

text

[trollkeru]

It doesn't even need to be a physically sacrifice. It can be something as simple as having to give up a dream or something.

text

[intothelens]

[There was a lengthy pause on her end as she pondered over Takeru's words. He always said the things he said for a reason, right? Especially on a subject they both knew to still be so sensitive to her heart. Which meant...there was little chance of him saying anything unless there was a deeper meaning behind it....]

But what if the physical sacrifice was already made?

[video] - [sorry for not tagging this earlier]

[howamanlives]

I prefer stories that have happy endings. But speaking as someone who had to put down his own father when a monster took control of his body, I know it doesn't always work out that way, even if someone hands you a miracle at the end.

... Would I presume too much by asking what happened?

[video] - [sorry for not tagging this earlier]

[trollkeru]

Oh wow. I mean, yeah bad stuff tends to happen both in real life and stories, but with both we still work towards a better ending... if that makes sense.

[He paused.]

Well except when you really cannot. As for what happened. It's a story, so secret.

[video]

[howamanlives]

Alright. You don't gotta tell me. You should probably let Hikari know though, if she doesn't already.

Working towards a better ending is tough. I got my dad back because someone showed him mercy, but we lost a lot of other things along the way too.

[video]

[trollkeru]

Let Hikari know what, exactly? That I'm back. She already knows at this point.

[Telling her about what happens later, he is avoiding a good lot of that.]

I'm sorry to hear that even though you got him back, you still lost other things. Just goes to show that something always happens.

Re: [video]

[howamanlives]

Well, yeah, that, and I guess whatever happened...

...

Unless it's another one of those "time paradox" things where you can't. I hate those.

[He sighs.] Yeah. I had to learn the hard way that guts and determination can't get you everything. Sometimes, when people are gone, they're just. Gone.

Then you have to make sure it doesn't happen again.