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[feckinboomstick]

[Now... in this weather, in this weather, of all weather, you might expect to see even the most stubborn asshole change out their clothes for something cooler.

Surely.

Surely.

But you would underestimate just how self-detrimentally stubborn Cassian is, to this point.

The only reason the phone is on? Well it's been hucked, of course, why else? Cassian isn't a man of exceptionally even temper on the best of days, heat doesn't really keep anyone at an even keel. From its sideways position, it's pretty clear that A: He's outside near the frog pond and B: He's still absolutely, totally, completely dressed in the usual.

Neck to toe black, cursing in at least three different languages, and one of them appears to distinctly be in Latin. What did he huck that phone at?]

Ye toss like a right girl ye do, ye limp-wristed nancy.

[... A frog. A fat, green, golden eyed bull frog, who then wetly flops out of the way as one of its less dexterous brethren is scooped out of the pond and hurled at it. A newcomer to this channel might be wondering how a frog would learn to speak, and where on earth it learned to speak like that.

Well.]

I'll live on frogs leg soup for the rest of me blasted, cursed life, I swear it! Every single one of ye is goin' in the pot- Get your lumpy arse back here, ye bellowin', slimy, bloated windbag, I'm gonna turn ye into a coin purse!

[Well that answers that.

The phone is given a good kick (quite by accident) as the now wheezing priest darts after the frog.

Now it's upside down, but this isn't going to detract from the Benny Hill sketch taking place in the slightest, enjoy.]

Comments

[voice]

[black_black_heart]

[ At first, Tannusen's content to watch the benny hill skit from an upstairs window, lounging on the sill in one of his many Elder Form housecat shapes -- for when you want to cat, but don't want to take up tons of room. But then his phone chimes, and the Fae realizes that there's a broadcast on.

Housecats can't laugh.

...So Tannu turns back into a human shape to chime in, laughing as he does so. ]

You yell at me whenever I talk about eating them!

[ HEY CASS GUESS WHAT. GUESS WHAT YOUR PHONE DID. ]

And it would be payback if I did it!

[feckinboomstick]

[OOOOOH NO

And now he doesn't even know where the phone is! He can hear it, and Tannusen sure as fuck isn't going to be any goddamn help. May as well keep yelling and follow the responses.]

They're my bloody frogs, and if anyone is gonna eat 'em, it'll be me!

[Excellent retort, Mr. Wordsmith.]

[black_black_heart]

[ Mock offense, one can all but hear Tannusen putting a hand over his heart. ]

They ate me!

[feckinboomstick]

[Fucking... phone WHERE-]

As I recall they weren't the only ones, and ye ain't holdin' grudges there, mate.

[black_black_heart]

I've swallowed plenty of you to consider it even!

[feckinboomstick]

[WHEEZE WHERE IS THE PHONE HOLY SH-]

Ye keep yer blasted mouth shut on the network about that-

Where is me bloody phone.

[black_black_heart]

[ Maniac laughing there for a moment. ]

Hey Cass, look up!

[ And there's Tannusen in the bedroom window, blowing a kiss. He could totally tell the priest where his phone is but this is too great.

And if the phone happens to have moved a few times when Cass has almost homed in on it, well.

Well. Cat. Cat with teleportation powers! ]

[feckinboomstick]

[It takes a second, but his attention finally locks on Tannusen...

And that is actually a frog getting hurled at the window oops. That's one HELL of an arm.]

WHERE'S ME BLOODY PHONE, YE DEVIL!? GET OFF YER ARSE AND HELP ME FIND IT!

[black_black_heart]

[ Tannusen's losing his shit laughing, and that's all the response there will be until he can spare a breath, you tiny maniac. ] Did you really just... [ WHEEZE. ] LAUNCH a frog at the house?

[feckinboomstick]

[The frog bounces inelegantly off the side of the window, landing on the sill. Resilient thing, it only looks a bit stunned for a moment before righting itself, clearly having no idea how it actually got up here.]

I GOT A WHOLE POND OF 'EM, I'LL FILL THE HOUSE, DON'T THINK I WON'T!

[black_black_heart]

[ Aaaaaaand, pop! Suddenly the frog is falling on Cassian from above! ] Shouldn't you be looking for your phone? [ Fucking cat. ]

[feckinboomstick]

[FROG.

The poor animal misses Cassian, who stepped out of the way, hitting the ground before frantically hopping to the pond. No more flying lessons, thanks.]

GET DOWN HERE AND HELP ME LOOK!

[black_black_heart]

But I can see it just fine from here! It's over there by the thing!

[feckinboomstick]

WHICH THING, YE BLIGHTED, HAIRY BEAST?!

[black_black_heart]

The thing by the stuff! At the place.

[ Neener neener. ]

[feckinboomstick]

[He's caught another hapless frog, and this one is launched directly at Tannusen's big stupid face.]

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[immortalrose]

[Try as he might not to laugh at this live feed, Augustine does just that. He tilts his head back and just laughs as this absurd little devil of a priest takes off running after the frog. This has to be the funniest damn thing he seen all day and then some.

Augustine is quite amused.]

What in the fresh hell are you doing?