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[song_princess]

[Starting from from the 18th of August, Leanne has rarely gone home, usually she been spending the day working and then the majority of the night at the After Life, drinking. It was surprising how easy it was to regress to old habits before being reunited with her mate. Tonight was one of those nights were she spent, drinking away.

Leanne sighs as she finishes a shot and sets it down with a loud thud, idly tapping on the counter to order another shot. She realizing that her communicator was on, she goes to look towards it.]

Does anyone know just how to go home? Even for a little bit?

[The other shot was delivered and she goes to down it, shuddering a little.]

I am worried about my people and being away from them for so long. Plus, around this time is important to us and I miss it....

[Another tap on the counter to order yet another shot before she reaches over to turn off the communicator.]

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[fierybluebird]

[The anger goes out of him like wind deflated from his lungs and he leans his forehead to hers.]

You trust him so much, you think he's stronger than he is, and in so doing, he's scared to ever let you down or ever fail you.

Look into my heart Leanne, I will show you.

[And he gives her his memories, crystal crisp, of just him and Ikki in her forest. All the out of control swirling clock rage that coursed inside him during that time, how he couldn't sleep, how he spent it giving ducklings baths, and when Ikki found him, Ikki held his head under water and nearly drowned him -- the only way a phoenix like Marco could be truly killed. The fire and anger and rage of them both. Seething at the peace of the forest. Teeming with too much life and bursting at the seams without the fire's volcanic outlet to use it to destroy and purge.]

[Marco carefully pulled back, tucked away that it was Selphie, that Leanne was with Naesala. Though he carefully brought to the surface Leanne showing him, Marco, where she was kept safe in the forest, his promise, his solemn vow not to leave her alone, to do everything in his power so she'd never be lonely again.]

[And fast forward to when Ikki was sent back out of that world of oceans, beyond Marco and Ikki's control. Phoenixes playing with things they didn't really understand. And the fire and rage when Ikki returned, how he punched Marco, because Marco was the only one who could never be hurt by Ikki's phoenix fire. Never be hurt by the phoenix rage.]

[For a bit, Marco's fears of being a weapon, of being Mars, Ares, the god of war, start to bubble to the surface, but he shuts it down, not letting her explore that. And shows her instead his own tears. The time Marco himself broke down crying and the only person in the universe, the multiverse, not GRELL, only LEANNE was able to reach him that time.]

Little sister, you must know he loves you far more than he can ever even hate himself. But it is that which drives him away. Not your fault, only his own, but listen. He does not want to say something, do something, BE something worse than even his absence. You lost much in the flames. Right now...

[Closes his eyes again, takes a deep breath and holds both her hands. TRUSTING HER, even though she can feel and SEE that MARCO KNOWS Ikki would be livid if he knew what Marco was showing her.]

[And yet he does.]

[He shows her the time Leanne was kidnapped by slavers, and just exactly how murderous and violent Ikki and Marco got. How their violent aggression, the desire to break bones of her captors and use the splinters to cause the slavers even more pain hurt Leanne, because she could feel their chaos and rage. She could see every inch of it. How she pleaded with them to stop, and neither of them knew how.]

You are the strongest woman I have ever met in my whole life, my Queen.

But that first part... remember and feel it. [Marco's ice and flame words to Selphie, he blocks out that it is Selphie, just carefully showing Leanne his temper when he explained to the other woman that her tears would drive more arrows through Ikki's heart than any physical damage the whole world could throw at him. And worse? Knowing that HE WAS THE CAUSE OF IT, of those tears would break him, so that all he knew to do was flee. To save them both. A phoenix's last curse: loneliness, the only way to protect others from themselves.]

[Marco's voice drops to a whisper for Leanne.]

Ikkun is not as old as I am, not as strong, not as surrounded by love and family. His family was ripped from him. He has nothing in his control here. And above else, he is scared he cannot protect you from himself.

Are you telling me now that he needs to?

That his running away is saving you from those flames? That you are scared of him and what he might do? Because if this absence hurts you and makes you feel inadequate, I know you are smart enough to know how much more he would think his rage would be something there is no coming back from. [It's again, a measure of Marco's assessment of Leanne's strength that he lets her SEE the image of Serene's Forest on fire. HER memory she once trusted to him. Her fear, he vowed ALONGSIDE IKKI to protect her from.]

If you need to go home, I will not stop you. But do not use his absence as an excuse. If you miss him, tell him. That you are not so frail as to prefer this. That you are a Queen, and he needs to start behaving like a King, not a coward. Like the man you married, not a shadow. And if he says things that hurt you, remember, that is why he's absent right now. Because he selfishly thinks it is safer. For you and then for him. If you run away, you are telling him he is right. Is that really what you want?

I've had Grell bite my tail feathers, hit me with a chainsaw, whips, and had sex with my best friend and closest brother. [Holds a hand up.] Aye, our relationship is nothing like yours. It is an analogy. Because the days she was kidnapped was still the worst month of my entire life since meeting her. Every day she was absent I felt robbed. I would have given both my wings to have her back and ripping me to shreds. Every day I am without Ace, Espio, Thatch, Namur, Ikki, you, Grell, all of you, I am poorer for it.

The first face I met after arriving in a new world after my father's funeral, was a version of Ace that was a marine. He hated me. He truly wished me dead. I could barely get him to talk to me. But I have never forgotten how glad I was that he was alive.

I know there is no pain I wouldn't endure rather than let Ikkun run away.

Understand, little sister, you cannot fight his fears alone. He will not let you. But you are not alone. You are not an idiot phoenix like us, and know how to protect those you love without giving up on them.

You are not the same Leanne I knew in that world. I will concede this. But I do not believe you could be a Queen and not still have that strength she too had and showed me those times when I was too lost for anyone else to find.

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[song_princess]

[She watches as Marco shows her all those memories. Those memories of rage and how he was terrible at hiding who the other was with in that world. It was almost cute how he think it would have bothered her.]

I have already seen the Phoenix's rage and even had it directed at myself once. I have also seen many things that those images does not bother me.

[But it did confirm one thing.... Marco loved the more younger and carefree version of her and will always see her like that. She was missing Ace, Zoro, Kale, Rose and Ice Bear... As well as Clu and Nita. They... They never bounded her to the image like the man before her.]

It is not because of him or his flames that I desire to return home. Especially when you are clueless as it seems like your Leanne never told you. I will respect her and not tell you either.

[She goes to sigh again and then orders a bottle to go.]

I live only for his happiness. To make his flames burn brightly. I cannot make him into who he is not. That is not what I want. I will never give up on those who I love, no matter how much pain it may cause me.