August 28th - Downward Spiral

[zenoh]

[ Nothing has been the same since she returned. No matter how many dinner parties and picnics, no matter how much she tries to distract herself with hobbies and trying something new, it all leads to the same thing. Ayame finds herself feeling restless, lonely, and frustrated. All of a sudden she stops contacting her friends. She goes to work and gets things done without talking to people. She goes for walks while also purposely avoiding people she knows, only watching them from afar with people they've grown close to in this world like Sonico and Mobius, or people being reunited with friends from their homeworlds. This loneliness only gets worse when it's quiet and Ayame is left alone with her thoughts. She's been back for months; and the time has come when her frustrations grow to a point where her her facade of a kind and composed woman is beginning to crack... ]

A.) Genessia City - Memoria Park

[ Ayame had been visiting Memoria Park every day since she returned without fail, always stopping by the wall with the name Yuyuko Saigyouji on it. She always shows up to eat breakfast there, reading the newspaper, or just to use the name as a venting post for her anecdotes and frustrations. Lying down on a next to the wall with Yuyuko's name on it, and still clad in her combat outfit with a sword on her side, she'll likely be needed to get waken up. If not, she'll just do it herself. A jolt causes a gasp to leave her lips and pry her eyes open, looking around with watery eyes in confusion and groaning. Her hand flies to her head to nurse her headache, but also to shield her eyes from that bright sunlight from above. Muttering to herself, she struggles to look for her sunglasses that she swears is just on the ground. She mutters to herself as she finds it difficult to get up ]

Ah, damn it. Sunglasses. Ugh... Where did I put those?

[ It's on her head ]

B.) Genessia City - Burgatory

[ Burgatory is a rather new burger shop, known for opening up early and serving gourmet burgers even during breakfast hours. She was supposed to go to Cake Town to bake with Orihime, but from the looks of it she's still wearing her combat outfit from yesterday, not even bothering to come home after her shift as a Deputy Guardian. As the sun rises, Ayame can be found on the roof of Burgatory, sitting at home on top of the large B sign with some hamburgers and a bottle of bourbon beside her. Her eyes are shielded with some cheap sunglasses, with her messy bun hairstyle even messier than it should be. Her stunt causes a little commotion on the parking area. Curious people gather to watch this hungover woman continue to ignore the staff that start pleading for her to come down.

"Miss? Please, can you get down from there?" the young staff member asks, tired and pretty much done with Genessia's shenanigans. He doesn't get paid enough for this shit. ]

C.) Fayren - Marketplace

[ Clad in modern clothes in the form of a track jacket, running pants, and sneakers; Ayame stands out from the local crowd in Fayren's streets. But it was mostly because they see Ayame on a moped. Down the narrow market streets, they saw her rolling and they were hating. Currently parked outside an apothecary where the locals observe it in curiosity. Ayame feels sick as she steps out of the store, coughing and placing a hand on a wall for support while she gets her bearings with deep breathes, Ayame slowly walks to the moped, leaning against it as she takes the herbal remedy from the store and wash it down with some water. She's getting a lot of curious looks, so she looks at them in return until she notices someone with a soul/pendant, raising her water bottle at them in greeting ]

I hope I'm not ruining the rustic scenery.

Comments

[alwaysimpaled]

[Dante sighs, keeping up with Ayame.]

I know you can take care of yourself, and for your information, I am with my friend.

[He steps closer, lowering his voice.]

Just because Lady and Nero showed up doesn't mean I stop caring about you. You've been one of my best friends in this place, and I don't just hang my friends out to dry when someone else comes along.

[zenoh]

[ Ayame felt a bitterness in her chest that's different from the caustic one she's emitting towards others. It's a bitterness toward herself and how she's aware of how her emotions are clouding her reason. Hearing Dante's words made that even clearer, but it wasn't enough to overcome her stubbornness yet. Ayame runs a hand on her forearm, stopping to grip her elbow and glancing away to avoid Dante's eyes ]

This world, I-

[ Ayame was a loss for words again. She never was good at articulating her thoughts when she's stressed and overcome with emotion, so she sighs and tries to calm herself even if it feels like such an impossible task. ]

Nothing has been the same ever since I woke up here again.

[ She said, defeated but also frustrated. The hint of anger in her voice was accompanied by a tighter grip on her elbow ]

I don't even know what I'm doing anymore. Are we just fooling ourselves? We wouldn't be friends if this world didn't take us from our homes, so I shouldn't be surprised if others prefer the company of those from our own worlds. It's frustrating, to feel so overshadowed because I'm the only one from my own. Seeing others be reunited with friends has...

[ She sighs, shaking her head and turning away. Waving her hand dismissively as she catches herself venting a glimpse of her many grievances. She wasn't just jealous of Dante being reunited with friends, she's jealous at everyone who has friends from home, which leads to another negative thought and to another then another until it snowballs into something she can't control ]

[alwaysimpaled]

I've been here for years as the only person from my world, so I feel ya. At the same time though, I've seen people build relationships across worlds in this place quite a bit. Heck, you and Satsuki are good friends right? She's had people from her world here before and that doesn't seem to bother her.

[He sighs, patting her on the shoulder. This was much lighter not trying to intrude on her personal space too much.]

You're overthinking this. I know I've done the same overthinking, so I know the feeling but.

[zenoh]

[ The frustration and shame hidden within her heart still burned strong, as Dante's reassurance could only act as a temporary balm. But even if it only had minor effect on her emotions, it spoke to her reason. He was right she's overthinking this, and she should know that he understands the feeling. But being seen like this makes Ayame unable to look at him in the eye. ]

But what?

[ That's really all she could think to ask or respond with. But feeling Dante's sympathy has helped more than Ayame thought. She's began to calm down, but she still wasn't sure if she wants to stay here longer and have Dante see this vulnerable side of her. One she's tried so hard to hide from the world ]

[alwaysimpaled]

But there's no reason to overthink like that. I'm not going to just abandon you. That's not how I do things.

[He sighs, gesturing to a nearby shop.]

C'mon. I'll buy you some coffee.

[zenoh]

[ Ayame just wants to run away, like she tends to do when she feels pressured with her emotional woes. Aiko had always been there to help her sort through her emotional troubles. Yushin had always been there to speak some reason into her. Kanae did both, whenever she could in her busy days. All of this just made her miss them sorely. It took Ayame a moment until she nods silently, letting her pride go for the moment and accepts Dante's help. In a way, Dante saved the day. Ayame is not perfect and had a dark side to her, and it's something she always strives to control and hide from the world. If it snowballs, it will snowball rapidly and get to the point where Ayame could be a danger to everyone around her. ]