[Video]

[alwaysimpaled]

This is a message for the "South Attleton Safety Society."

Fuck off. Using powers for personal gain falls under assault and is already covered by the legal code. I'm not going to outlaw people being born a certain way. Hell, if I'm being brutally honest here, the demon license I implemented was aimed primarily at one person.

Also, any heckling of or otherwise interfering with people based on some stupid notion of 'normies vs power' is going to be classified as disturbing the peace, and my deputies will arrest and fine you.

Attleton doesn't need civilians playing soldier out of boredom. Go back to making stupid complaints to my office about garden gnomes and flamingos.

[Before cutting the feed Dante is going to angrily chuck a balled up newspaper off screen.]

Comments

Re: video;

[alwaysimpaled]

From what I understand, this is a fairly new development after a neighborhood party. Someone probably got drunk and started throwing around conspiracy theories that everyone jumped on or the like.

I wouldn't worry too much about 'em.

Re: video;

[immortalrose]

They must've been drinking Abstinence to get this loony. Nevertheless, they sound like a coalition of moms and dads in horrid plaid and sunglasses.

Better handle it, Guardian~

Re: video;

[alwaysimpaled]

[That gets a bit of a snort out of Dante.]

Will do. [He grabs a thick stack of paper out of one of the wire baskets on his desk]

Right after I get to addressing the complaints about lawn gnomes being used as death threats or something.

Re: video;

[immortalrose]

...People still put garden gnomes on their lawn? Ew! Tacky!

video;

[alwaysimpaled]

Yes, but they're not hurting anyone and people have a right to be tacky.

That's why I've got a gnome riding a flamingo marking the entrance to my gateway.

Re: video;

[immortalrose]

...As if you donning white hair wasn't tacky enough. You go out there and buy such a monstrosity for your poor lawn.

video;

[alwaysimpaled]

...You make it sound like I'm wearing a wig or something. This is all natural, douchebag.

Re: video;

[immortalrose]

It's the long bangs, Dante. Very retro looking.

video;

[alwaysimpaled]

You're one to talk about my hair mister Fabio.

Re: video;

[immortalrose]

What?! My hair is glorious, nerd.

video;

[alwaysimpaled]

Your hair looks like a wig. A bad wig that an insecure supermodel wore to a modeling session.

Re: video;

[immortalrose]

No it doesn't, you petulant turd! My hair is 100% real and you know it.

[He demonstrates by literally yanking on it. That's definitely his real hair. Those roots are embedded.]

At least the roots of my hair match the rest! Just look at you! You're already turning gray.

video;

[alwaysimpaled]

[Dante leans in, making a big deal of inspecting the display Augustine gives.]

I dunno buddy. Looks like a bad case of receding hair line to me.

[Not really but he can't not push Augustine's buttons.]

First of all, gray hair is a sign of wisdom and worldliness. Secondly, my hair's more natural than your pathetic split-ends could ever dream of.

1/2

[immortalrose]

I DON'T HAVE ANY SPLIT ENDS AND MY HAIRLINE IS FINE, BITCH!

Re: video;

[immortalrose]

Ahem.

[He brings it down a notch and reaches for a glass of water. Dante is getting on his last damn nerves today. See, this is why they could never be friends. He don't like you even on a good day, Dante.]

You are the most uncouth, foul mouthed and disrespectful bastard I ever truly met.

video;

[alwaysimpaled]

I'm uncouth? You're the one that called someone a 'turd'.

Re: video;

[immortalrose]

Shut your mouth. [He huffs.] You've brought that on yourself.

video;

[alwaysimpaled]

Hey, you were the one accused me of being uncouth, you brute.