[text&action]

[merelyatool]

I. Text
What do you feed a lizard?

II. Action (anywhere you want)
[ Maiya hadn't planned on becoming a "parent" this way, but... That's hardly the fault of her new, scaly child. It would be wrong not to take responsibility for it. That's why, today, she can be found out and around, searching for the necessary pet supplies with a very friendly-looking lizard perched on her shoulder.

She would be happy to complete her mission and return home without interruption; however, the lizard has other ideas. Quite often, it will open its mouth and begin to sing — or do something like singing, at least. It warbles and wails something that sounds a bit like the melody of a children's rhyme, maybe, if you really take the time to contemplate what it might be.

Maiya makes no attempt to quiet it. Anyone who looks her way will be met with a silent, deadpan stare, as if daring them to comment on the silliness occurring right in front of them. ]

Comments

text

[cool_skeleton]

GATORADE

[merelyatool]

[ ... ]

I assume that's a joke.

[cool_skeleton]

GOOD ASSUMPTION! THAT'S CORRECT!

[Just like he assumed it was the setup for one.]

[merelyatool]

I'm genuinely requesting help.

[ PAPYRUS, A CHILD IS STARVING ]

[cool_skeleton]

[WHO ADOPTS A CHILD WITHOUT KNOWING HOW TO FEED IT]

I SEE YOUR DILEMMA. PLEASE SELECT ONE OR BOTH OF THE FOLLOWING OPTIONS. "MY LIZARD IS STARVING FOR":

[A]: FOOD
[B]: AFFECTION

[merelyatool]

[ It was an accident!!! ]

A

[cool_skeleton]

[Darn, he would've known exactly what to do with B. Just had to make things difficult.]

IN THAT CASE, YOU SHOULD CALL A PET STORE.

[He's helping.]

[merelyatool]

I see. Thank you for your suggestion.

Text

[fierybluebird]

1. Bugs
2. Fruits
3. Veggies

In that order. 90% insects. 6% cantaloupe, apricots, melons, mangos, berries, etc. 4% vegetables, sometimes flowers and seeds. Your lizard will decide if it wants the leaves or rejects them except as habitat decor.

[merelyatool]

Thank you. This answer is very informative.

[fierybluebird]

I have a little brother who is a chameleon.

[merelyatool]

[ . . . ]

I see.

[ She has a lot of questions, but all of them seem inappropriate to ask, so she doesn't. ]

[fierybluebird]

[There is no appropriate way to handle Marco. Whichever preserves your brain from damage is the only way.]

We had a bug eating contest once. My wife was furious.

[See? More questions.]

[merelyatool]

[ ...Very well. She'll play along. ]

Because you didn't leave her any?

[ With...a joke??? ]

[fierybluebird]

[LAUGHING SO HARD IRL!!!!]

[Where's Espio, he'd love this too. ISH.]

If only!

She said being bird-brained didn't mean I had to be bird-throated and beaked too.

[merelyatool]

[ She's Trying. ]

There are many places in the world where eating insects wouldn't be so odd. Provided you cleaned them first.

[fierybluebird]

They were sterile.

And aye, I know.

But she's from a country that prided itself on butlers maintaining rigid standards of public appearances of cleanliness. Whereas, I've been on islands with no such luxuries.

[merelyatool]

In my homeland, we would supplement our meals with anything we could catch, so it doesn't seem so odd to me.

[ Still, she isn't entirely unsympathetic to his wife's position. She can imagine Iri's face crinkling at the prospect. In the end, it's simply a matter of what one has been exposed to, and a more insulated life doesn't always mean one free of hardship. ]

[fierybluebird]

Aye. Plenty of islands in my world are like that. The ones that seem to be all feasts are actually more dangerous in a lot of ways.

[merelyatool]

Dangerous game?

[fierybluebird]

No. Hunting is never hard. The islands themselves will eat you.

[Text]

[donquixotic]

Depends on what type. Most eat insects.

[merelyatool]

I'm unsure of its species, or if its species is even known. Its most identifiable trait seems to be singing.

[donquixotic]

Singing? Maybe try offering it different things.

[merelyatool]

Yes. Singing. I can record it, if you'd like proof.

[donquixotic]

I'd actually like to see that. It's not that I don't believe you, but it's hard to imagine.

[video]

[merelyatool]

[ The lizard is more than happy to sing for the camera when Maiya switches it on. Cheerfully, it sits nestled against the collar of her shirt, jaws wide open as it belts out a tune that sounds a bit like row, row, row your boat would if it were sung but a toddler who'd discovered its parents' liquor cabinet. Its only saving grace is that its small lungs mean it can't be as loud as it might want to be.

It seems very proud of itself. ]

[Text]

[donquixotic]

[He's not sure how something can be so cute and so obnoxious at the same time. That's kind of a magical combination of why is this happening, and oh goodness what a sweet creature.

He's very glad that he doesn't have to hear it singing constantly though.] It seems happy, at least. Has anyone else given you a better idea on what it might want to eat?

text;

[demonofbadluck]

Human flesh. Though that could be lizard people, not lizards...

[merelyatool]

Serious replies only.

[demonofbadluck]

I was actually being serious. I mean it depends how big the lizard is. Could be a lizard person. Otherwise, they eat insects I am pretty sure. Now sure how they survive on that though.

[merelyatool]

It isn't large enough to prey on a human. Insects would be more appropriate for something its size.

[demonofbadluck]

Then I guess there are places you can buy them, or hunt insects down if you know how, I guess.