video

[ubiquitously]

 [action . fayren/home]

[At first, Uai was excited to have another dog. He misses his daughters to the point that fur baby substitutes are gladly accepted. Without questioning how a dog came out of an egg, Uai started pampering and spoiling his new dog. He has Shigure the Dire Wolf... and a good Golden Retriever Puppy! Very good.

Too good.

The dishes were mysteriously cleaned. The laundry was done. Who was making the bed every morning? It wasn't Uai. Who kept the living room so tidy, and free of research books and papers? That definitely wasn't Uai. But there was no way it was the dog, right? That'd be weird. Things reach peak weirdness when Uai is sitting at the kitchen table, drinking coffee and messing around with a Suduku puzzle in the Genessia Newspaper.]

Ah... drat. I messed up somewhere. [Being an overly confident person (on the outside,) he's filled out the puzzle in ink. Uai puts the paper down, sighing in embarrassed defeat, and looks over at the kitchen counter.] Maybe it's a sign that I should do the dishes---

[They're done. The kitchen is absolutely pristine, actually. Uai's gaze slowly falls to the golden retriever puppy, who is sitting on the floor with an innocent doggo expression.] ... I. I'll do the laundry, then.

[After going to check on the laundry... Nope. Uai finds all of that done too. All of the beds are made, all of the rooms are tidy... He's honestly looking for a mess to clean as he comes back to the kitchen. Anything that he can do to feel like a 'good' person. Housework is supposed to be one of his few redeeming features, after all! 

He returns to the kitchen, feeling defeated. Apparently, his housework skills are second to... a dog.] That's fine. I'm still smarter--

[Walking to the table, he sees the Suduku puzzle is complete. Someone whited out his mistakes and corrected it while he was gone... His mistakes are circled helpfully in red. The coupons have also been cut from the newspaper and stacked neatly. It's folded up more neatly than Uai can BS with magic.]

I--I'm more considerate, at least? [He'll go buy groceries or something! Except-- Nope. Grocery list is gone. There's a pawprint in its place, like this is some Blue Clue's game where Uai hunts down his last shards of dignity. Uai stands in front of the fridge in stunned silence.]

... This is fine. I... just have more free time.

[This is not fine.]

[Video]

No one think too deeply into why I'm asking this. I just want answers.

What is something that I, a sort-of human, am going to be 100% better at than a dog? Again: Don't think too hard. Just answer.

A-Also. Human ways to impress your girlfriend. Mortal ways. 4th dimensioner-things. Normal things... 

Thank you.

Comments

[video]

[bigbadrose]

Uai...

What are you doing?

Take her on a date. Dancing.

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[ubiquitously]

I'm not giving that dog anymore chances to upstage me. Especially in something like that. She'll realize I'm an idiot.

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[bigbadrose]

Uai. She's in love with you, not a dog. And not for what a dog can offer.

[ubiquitously]

[While Rose does have a point, Uai has a very thick skull.]

... This dog does housework and is incredibly thoughtful. In comparison, I'm... kind of a dolt. He's going to expose my flaws.

[Uai talks like his flaws aren't obvious.]

[bigbadrose]

Uai, I guarantee you, she knows your faults and loves you along with them.

You're not getting upstaged by a talented dog.

Blimey, I thought the Doctor was bad.

[ubiquitously]

Definitely being upstaged by this dog! Listen, I can count my good qualities on one hand.

[Holding up his hand now, counting off on his fingers:] Best butler, good looking, humor, and very smart!

I don't even get to list anything on my thumb. [Except for maybe modesty.

He sighs, self-defeated.] I feel so stupid.

[bigbadrose]

Okay, stop that.

You are not being upstaged by the dog. And you have other qualities. You can't always see that kind of thing, it's hidden away from you. For all you know the dog is even more insecure than you are and feels intimidated by you and like it'll be thrown out if it's not completely useful, yeah?

Seriously, just take Azura on a date for dancing. Away from the dog for a night.

[Video]

[riddlemehiss]

Not being a dog!

[Of course.

Not exactly a skill per se. But definitely something to be proud of in the Cheshire Cat’s books!]

[ubiquitously]

... I mean. I guess I do have that going for me.

Good point.

Video

[youfool]

Being real; having a soul.

[He can't resist.]

However faint.

[ubiquitously]

Don't go deciding who qualifies as having a soul or not. It's not your job.

... I don't think mine is really a bragging point, though. Next suggestion?

[youfool]

Thinking is either everyone's job, or something I'm happy to do pro bono.

Mm, have you tried serenading? One so versed in music ought to outdo a canine's timbre.

[ubiquitously]

Your ability to miss the point is absolutely astounding.

That's not a horrible suggestion, at least. Thanks.

[youfool]

Oh, it's nothing compared to your talent for nesting compliments in insults. You're welcome nonetheless.

[ubiquitously]

Thanks, I've been practicing.

Did you find any weird baby animals as well, though? My dog came out of an egg.

[youfool]

Mm, something hairy and adhesive.

[Chucked it right into the void. Petsitter of the year, all years.]

Think we'll be rewarded for the trouble, or are the festivities for their own sake?

video;

[mynameisallen]

[Allen was no expert of anything to do with girlfriends. Instead, he was just focused on the first thing because why?]

Why do you want to be better than a dog, exactly?

[ubiquitously]

I told you not to think too hard about it. Suggestion or no?

[mynameisallen]

I don't get the whole situation so I don't actually have any suggestions.

[He's about as clueless to this type of thing.]

[ubiquitously]

[Uai sighs, trying hard not to be annoyed,] Don't worry about this sort of thing if you don't have to, I guess.

[mynameisallen]

Sometimes understand is a good thing. But...don't compare yourself to a dog.

While people love dogs there are things about you that people will love too I am sure.

[lazuline]

Uai... [she sounds like she's barely containing her amusement.]

You needn't try to impress me, I'm already impressed!

[ubiquitously]

Azura!?

[Oh right, this is a public network. Which means he needs to be composed: Clearing his throat and looking her in the face, instead of shyly averting his gaze. Uai is feeling really stupid, but he can at least look smart.]

No, you... You see. It hasn’t been me doing anything useful this week. It’s been... [Ugh, this pains him to admit:] The dog.

You should be impressed with the dog.

[lazuline]

[Oh that does it, she's laughing. She's doing her best to hide it behind a hand, though.]

Oh is that so? I suppose that does explain the extra level of orderliness about the house... but I'm afraid I can only be so impressed by him.

You see, I'm in love with someone else. [she means u, you doofus.]

[ubiquitously]

[He’s not sure what he had expected. Laughter was probably on the list, but the laughter Uai expected was painful. Hearing Azura laugh, even as she tries to cover it up, can’t hurt him. Within seconds, his “feeling stupid” leads to his own smile and her contagious laugh finally breaks him.

Yeah, he’s stupid. But not in the way he was most afraid of. ]

Geez. You’re making it hard for me to be upset! [That’s a good thing: A disguised “thank you,” before he sighs.] I’m still being shown up by a dog, though. I’m supposed to be the one who spoils you most.

[video]

[the_galaxyfairy]

[ How cute! First girlfriend? What did he mean by better than a dog though? While he says not too think too deeply, it was a bit hard not to though. ]

Have you tried flowers and sweets?

Those aren't my cup of tea (since she prefers out of this world gestures), but those are the most normal way I can think of.