genessia | Action, around the Amatsu

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Action, around the Amatsu

[Tomoe was usually the picture of calm and control. Unless someone knew her very well one would think she never changed from the neutral baseline she generally showed the world--never overly happy, never overly upset, always just kind of... there.]

[Today is a little different. Her movements are jerky and clipped, her words are shorter than normal with a bit of an edge to them. Something is definitely wrong, though she isn't the sort to advertise the fact. Still, when she is not actively working on something pressing and immediate for the Amatsu she is actively hunting for something. She checks drawers, turns over papers, looks beneath furniture, even turns over rugs in some instances. Whatever she's lost, it is apparently something important, at least to her, and the longer it goes without being found the more harried she seems to get.]

[ooc; one, Okita Souji, swiped her journal and she is freaking out beause there are very personal and damning things written in it.]

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[She frowns slightly at that.]

You speak as though you do not know who he is...

[Kenshin fought against Okita multiple times... she knows that he did... Hitokiri Battousai should have been well known by Okita's time...]

[She sighs.]

Their intention from the very beginning was to use me as a hostage to draw him into a trap. I was just too broken and naive to realize it. [She shakes her head.] My life was forfeit the day I saw their faces, Okita-san. That much I knew at least.

[She nods at his last question.]

I remember.

[ Except he doesn't, which makes his eyes shut briefly in annoyance. ]

I don't. Kenshin Himura or the Hitokiri Battousai are unknown to my Shinsengumi.

[ What she states about the Yaminobu using her as bait taking advantage of her pain infuriates him deep inside to no avail. ]

Seizaburo Kamiya... I had a strong argument with Hijikata-san, the Vice-Commander, for sending Kamiya-san as a spy to a special mission. I took the decision to go find him.

[What.]

[What.]

[She just stares at him for the longest time. They... didn't know him. Then... different worlds. She has been panicking all this time that he would find the connection to Hitokiri Battousai. Recognize the name. Put two and two together. And...]

[She almost laughs on the spot, instead moving forward and around the end of the desk to the shelving and cabinets behind it, sure now that her life was not going to be ended that night.]

Is that so...?

[She pulls out a bottle of amber liquid--one of Ayame's remaining stashes. While Tomoe didn't shy away from sake she generally didn't partake of anything else.]

[But this day has put her through the wringer.]

...

And you found yourself here instead...

[ That gaze fixed on him is a little uncomfortable. When reading her journal, he was equally perplexed about certain differences to his world. Seeing her walk towards the cabinets doesn't take away the habit of reading her movements in case of a possible attempt of attack. Still, he wants to believe in Tomoe. ]

Why would I lie?

[ Oh, good! At least she has something to cope with. Sake would be splendid for him right now. ]

Yes. Being here doesn't ease my worry.

[Ayame rarely went the sake route. What she sets on the desk is 80 proof whiskey...]

You would not...

[She fishes out two small glasses from the cabinet as well.]

It may not ease the worry here, but reportedly people who are returned return exactly where they last remember--as if the powers that control this place freeze time itself. [It would be helpful to someone who would be returning to something other than the grave.] And... after all this time... you are not my Okita Souji...

[She pulls the stopper out of the bottle before pouring some into the two glasses, her hands shaking just a bit from all of the stress.]

... and that also means... the events in my world may not come to pass in yours...

[ That would be interesting. ] [ Thinking about coming back to the exact, same moment where he is trying to find Kamiya leaves him at the beginning. The worry won't disappear after he finds Kamiya. A few sleepless nights have been spent with his head filled with thoughts of Kamiya and her safety... and someone else's peace of mind. ]

Does that alleviate you... or disappoint you?

[ Tomoe will notice his tone is quite different from his usual self. Albeit it isn't threatening at all. More like... sad, in his own warped way. No jokes, only disheartened. ]

[She sets one of the glasses closer to him before taking her own and sinking int one of the chairs across from him a little less ladylike than usual. This day had been exhausting...]

...

That time is frozen or that the Ishin Shishi may be defeated in your world?

[She looks at the amber liquid in the glass, swirling it in the glass for a moment before taking a large sip--she wasn't one for shots.]

For the former... it doesn't matter. There is no returning home for me. Time being frozen or time marching on, it is the same in either case.

For the later... it creates hope for you. That the future isn't set in stone. I do not consider myself allied with either side of the war... It is the individuals I cared about... So if that gives you some hope I will consider myself alleviated.

[ Sneering at the full small glass, then back at her, it really didn't matter for Tomoe to behave as little lady-like as possible. Well, not like he was sitting as gentlemanly as others would expect of him. ]

I'd rather not know until I go back home. Despite what I've read, I'd like to make things my way as well as my organization.

As for you... I'm not liking what I'm seeing. Giving up a second chance at life. I want to believe we came here for a reason.

[ He reaches out his arm to twirl the glass around with his fingers. ]

[She frowns at that that, flint entering into her eyes just a bit. The goddamn "second chance" bullshit. Of all the platitudes people offered to the dead, the "second chance" infuriated her the most. She never asked for a second chance. She didn't deserve a second chance. And if they hadn't woken her up and dropped her in the middle of this "second chance" she would never have been aware of how badly she'd screwed up in the first place. Perhaps she would actually be resting in peace.]

I am still sitting here, am I not?

[Though, she honestly couldn't say whether she would be if death weren't so... impermanent in Genessia. She had gone to such a dark place after Ayame had left, ironically it had taken nearly being killed by one of her nightmares to pull herself out of it.]

[ And the way she says it with disdain makes him take the same attitude as hers... ]

Why would you? Breathing and living aren't the same thing.

[ ... Knowing that one of the men he adores in his world could die sick and got a second chance to be with those he really cares for, even if he had to become the famous Demon of the Shinsengumi.

That memory, being told to him, crossing his mind while squeezing the glass, it seemed that it would break any time. ]

[She isn't sure how to respond to that. She manages to hold back the first venomous thing that comes to her lips--that by looking at it that way she hadn't been living for ten years.]

Why would I what, Okita-san? Think about ending my life?

[Surely that is what he was talking about. The entries after Ayame had left...]

[ Somehow, somewhere beneath him, it looked like a Demon possessed his body, because all she will see is a gleam of Wolf's eyes instead of his own, sitting like ~~a pimp~~ someone completely different. ]

I don't want you to do that. Because then, I'll do so myself... But that's not the point.

I want you to live.

[She sees the change in him and she meets his eyes without hesitation now--after all, the fear she had has been alleviated. She has nothing to fear from him, so why would she show it now? Instead, she just seems... tired.]

[She sighs heavily, looking down at her glass before taking a large drink from the glass and grimacing from the burn it had.]

If I were going to do it I would have done it by now--before you even arrived. There are three reasons. One: death is not a guarantee here. People who die come right back in the pods. Two: When actually faced with death I still fought to live, which tells me I don't actually want to die. And three: I could not do that to the few people here who would actually notice my absence. There aren't many... but there are enough.

...

You read my private thoughts, Okita-san. Thoughts are not necessarily the same as intent. I've had these thoughts since my mother died. It is nothing new.

[The only new part was having her "reasons" for staying paired down to a handful of people she barely knew.]

[ He stares at her. ]

If your thoughts aren't the same as intent, then what is it that you want to do here? Do you want me to stay away from you?

[ It is sad for him to hear she has had depressive thoughts for most of her life, which makes him take a long sip from the glass, bringing a hand to his neck at having such a strong, burning drink. ]

I don't know... My entire life I have had some purpose put in front of me that I could focus on. I've been adrift here. As it stands all I have is keeping this place running and I can't even say it is what I want, it is just what I have...

...

But you... don't need to stay away. I was afraid of what you might do if you learned of my affiliations. I am glad that I was worried for nothing... Although...

...

[She looks at her glass, swirling the liquid again.]

If my husband were to return here again... would this armistice stand?

Edited 2019-07-05 20:13 (UTC)

But you want to keep this place running for Ayame-san if she ever returns, isn't that so?

[ Maybe that is what makes her want to stay working at Amatsu. Another, this time gentle sip before closing his eyes. ]

I don't know, Tomoe-san. If I do meet him, who would it be? Battousai... or Himura-san?

I don't know. [She looks down at her glass.] I don't expect her to come back... I just fit here...

[She inclines her head to the question.]

A rurouni... [She straightens and levels her eyes on him.] Just as he was before... ten years after the fighting is done...

[ Somehow her response doesn't convince him enough. ]

But... if he's not the rurouni? If he comes back as Battousai?

[ Eyes opened staring at hers in all seriousness. ]

[She doesn't know that she wants to tell him this... but if they were all in the same building it would come out sooner than later.]

He is.

...

Kenshin... returned today. Without his memories of being here before...

[ That... makes his eyes go wide. And to drink the last sip of the glass, placing it on the desk.

This is just getting better and better for him. ]

[ His expression turns downcast. ]

I'm sorry that I took your journal without permission. You're my boss, so you have every right to ask me to leave Amatsu.

[She sighs heavily and looks down at her own glass.]

I am not going to do that. I would be lying to say I am not angry... but that anger was based more out of fear than anything... If it did not contain such damning information I doubt you would have given it a second glance...

[ Closing his eyes. ]

I didn't know it was a journal until I flipped through the pages. Guess I was just curious of your thoughts... about me, about anything.

It shouldn't have been that way.

[She pauses a long few moments... and then leans forward to set the empty glass on the desk.]

I hope... I didn't disappoint you too much...

[ ... Only about the outcome of the war, favoring the Imperialists. His expression turns dismal at the mere thought of not knowing what will come for the Shinsengumi's future. About his sensei, Hijikata, Kamiya and more. ]

No... you didn't, Tomoe-san.

[ Rising from his seat, he heads for the door. ] I must go. There's still work to do.

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willing_sheath - 2019-07-30 02:42 (UTC) - Expand

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Action, around the Amatsu

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