first video; i feel like i'm losing hope

[ninjabanish]

[Alice learned from watching the others, as Sophie screwed up the video, and has checked out the network enough to see it's not exactly uncommon to screw up at first. This weird technology might be unfamiliar to her, but she can learn by observation, and so when she sends out a video message herself, she's very calm, having figured it out.]

Good afternoon. My name is Alice Kozakura, and I have arrived here with my friends Sophie Summerhelm, Marie Cooper, and Aran Voliere. However, we are still missing some of our companions- Lulu, Celadon, and Valencia. It, ah... Well, their surnames are not necessarily relevant. They will be quite easy to identify, even without them. I am given to understand that searching for your separated companions by means of this device is the norm here.

Also, I am told that we must seek employment here. However, I am a doctor at home, skilled in the treatment of wounds and ills. I find it doubtful that those here would trust a physician they have no knowledge of their training or skills, and so I must ask instead. Need I obtain a license of some sort? Else, what may I do to continue my duties here?

[She lowers her head in a slight bow to the camera.]

Thank you for your time.

Comments

Video

[cool_skeleton]

GREETINGS ALICE!! WELCOME TO THE GREAT GENESSIA, HOME TO THE GREAT PAPYRUS!! TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTION: NO!! OR AT LEAST, I DON'T THINK SO. I'VE NEVER HEARD OF ANYONE HAVING TO GET LICENSES FOR ANYTHING. UNLESS YOU'RE A BOUNTY HUNTER IN NOVA CITY OR TRYING TO DRIVE!!

FOR INSTANCE, I DIDN'T NEED ANY PROOF OF COMPETENCE WHATSOEVER TO BE GUARDIAN OF FAYREN, PATROL THE SKIES IN A COOL DRAGON, SING SONGS THAT WOULD JERK YOUR TEARS, OR TEND THE GREATEST VEGETABLE RANCH IN THE WORLD, AND NOW I'M DOING ALL THOSE THINGS!!! ISN'T THIS PLACE GREAT!?

[ninjabanish]

[There is... so much she wants to say here. She's just... staring. Flabbergasted. She doesn't even know how to begin with this. She should probably be frightened- The undead, after all, are something particularly terrifying to her, a symbol of all her sins coming back to her... But she's too damn confused to be scared.

Finally, she can only just settle on one thing.]

... Ah. Excuse me, sir. I do not mean to be rude, but you appear to have misplaced your, ah... flesh. All of it.

[liveofftheland]

Let's hope it's not too difficult. This place is pretty different all on its own.

[ninjabanish]

I am hoping with all my heart.

... I am not certain I am using this device right, though.

[liveofftheland]

Yeah, it'd be easier if we had these at home. At least most of the functions look like they're labelled on the glass.

[ninjabanish]

Indeed... But I wonder how such mighty magics were made with such a small object?

[cool_skeleton]

WORRY NOT! YOU'RE NOT RUDE!! JUST KIND OF WEIRD! BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE A FLESH COLLECTION TO MISPLACE. THAT WOULD BE KIND OF GROSS.

[ninjabanish]

[i mean. it would be gross, but Alice has definitely dealt with worse and grosser.]

Ah, no, you misunderstand. I speak of... your flesh. Or perhaps it is merely a quirk of this strange device that shows you, but when you speak, I see naught but a skeleton.

[cool_skeleton]

YES, SO YOU'VE SAID! AND AS I'VE SAID, I REALLY DON'T HAVE ANY!! IS JUST...HAVING THAT STUFF NORMAL WHERE YOU'RE FROM???

[The ears he doesn't have are working just fine, thank you!]

NYEH HEH HEH, THERE'S NOTHING QUIRKY ABOUT USING YOUR PHONE TO SEE MY HANDSOME FACE! SOME MIGHT SAY THAT'S ITS BEST QUALITY! AND MINE!! BUT AREN'T YOU FORGETTING SOMETHING? PERHAPS MY...

COOL SCARF, CARESSED BY THE WINDS OF DESTINY??
OR MY BATTLE BODY, WHICH PROTECTS ME FROM THE SLINGS AND ARROWS OF NE'ER-DO-WELLS???
OR WHAT ABOUT-

[He flexes]

MY HUGE BICEPS, WHICH STRIKE FEAR INTO MY ENEMIES AND HOPE INTO MY FRIENDS!!! THOSE ARE HARD TO MISS!

[They aren't. Still very much a skeleton here.]

[ninjabanish]

[She's used to this level of nonsense from her friends. But this is a new, special level of bullshit. She doesn't know how to handle it.]

... No, I... I see no biceps, as I said. All I see is bone.

[Video -> Audio]

[cool_skeleton]

OH, THEN...YOU MUST HAVE...!!!

[He crosses his arms over himself, then switches to another, more decent format]

X-RAY VISION!!! SORRY IF YOU SAW BENEATH MY COOL CLOTHES!! I HAD NO IDEA!!!

[liveofftheland]

Maybe it's this world's alchemy, or something else.

[ninjabanish]

What? No. That's not what I- Wait, if you are but a skeleton, would it matter?! There is naught to the anatomy to worry about under clothes, and-!!

[she's so confused.]

Also, I know not what "x-ray" means?!

[cool_skeleton]

OF COURSE MANNERS MATTER!! BUT I'M VERY GLAD I DIDN'T SCANDALIZE YOUR NORMAL, NON-X-RAY EYES!! THEY'D VOTE ME OUT FOR SURE IF I DID THAT!!!

OH, WELL, AN X-RAY IS SOMETHING DOCTORS USE TO LOOK AT YOUR INSIDES, AND SEE WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU. BUT AS YOU MAY OR MAY NOT SEE, IT'S NOT NECESSARY!! I EXERCISE REGULARLY AND EAT HEALTHY EVERY DAY!

[ninjabanish]

Er. I am a doctor, though.

[Wait. She already said that. She said that earlier. God, she's so confused.]

I have never used one, though. And... Are you truly but a skeleton? I am seeing you correctly? There is naught but bone?

[ninjabanish]

Perhaps Sophie will figure it out, then.

[cool_skeleton]

YES, YOU SAID THAT TOO!! SO I'M NOT SURE WHY YOU DON'T KNOW ABOUT THEM. WHAT ABOUT STETHOSCOPES? THERMOMETERS? OR THOSE TINY HAMMERS THEY BONK YOUR KNEES WITH? I HOPE YOU DON'T USE THOSE!!

NO, THERE'S OTHER STUFF. LIKE MY CLOTHES. ARE YOU SURE YOU DIDN'T SEE THOSE!?

[And he worked so hard on making them so flashy, too.]

[ninjabanish]

I... do not know any of those, no.

[so apparently stethoscopes and thermometers were invented in like the 1800s. the more you know!]

I did see that. But... I feel as though we are talking in circles.

Audio - Video

[cool_skeleton]

[Phew! Now that he knows she won't see anything indecent, back to his handsome skull it is.]

OH. UM...

[Those seem like important things for a doctor to know! At first he considers that she might be some other kind of doctor, like the Royal Scientist. But then she said "physician" and "wounds", so he's at a loss.]

NO OFFENSE, BUT ARE YOU SURE YOUR DOCTOR SKILLS ARE UP TO DATE? THAT TECH IS PRETTY STANDARD STUFF HERE!

WELL, AT LEAST YOUR EYES ARE FINE! BECAUSE I AM, INDUBITABLY, A SKELETON. THE GREATEST AND HANDSOMEST ONE I KNOW!!!

[ninjabanish]

[okay, video again.




she might wish it wasn't, but no, she can't be rude, gonna. keep trying. to be polite. don't show the fear and concern on your face.]

I know of the uses of herbs and plants. Lungwort to treat consumption, in those few unfortunate enough to have it. Crushed aloe leaves to soothe burns, goldenseal under the bandage to prevent wounds from festering. I know bandages and bone splints, I know the sounds of a healthy heart and lungs.

However, I do not know what this device we speak on is, nor do I know aught of that... strange illusion which greeted us upon our arrival. So I would ask you not judge my skills based on these many words and devices that do not exist in Adelheld.

[liveofftheland]

How are you holding up? Kind of a weird place, but at least we're not alone.

[ninjabanish]

I seem to be speaking to a skeleton.

There were no mushrooms in our food of late, were there?

[cool_skeleton]

I'M NOT JUDGING!!! THE GREAT PAPYRUS HAS NOTHING BUT RESPECT FOR MEDICINE-WOMEN!! BONE-SPLINTS SOUND VERY USEFUL!

[Nothing but motivation here!]

AND I'M SURE PEOPLE WITH ORGANS WOULD APPRECIATE ALL THOSE OTHER THINGS. W-WELL, IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU COULD LAND A JOB IN THE IVORY TOWER. MAYBE AS THEIR ROYAL PHYSICIAN...? ARE YOU ROYALTY???

BUT IF YOU DID WANT TO BONE UP (sic) ON MACHINES, YOU COULD CONSIDER...COLLEGE!! IN JUST TWELVE YEARS, YOU COULD BE AN M.D.! A MASTER DOCTOR!! THEN YOU'D GET A LICENSE FOR SURE!!

AS FOR NON-MEDICAL MACHINES, I KNOW ALL ABOUT THOSE! THE DEVICE YOU HAVE IS A PHONE. AND WHAT YOU SAW AT THE BAY IS A HOLOGRAM!!

[What more does she need to know than names and functions? What could be more satisfying to the laywoman?]

[liveofftheland]

Not that kind, and I checked. Some kind of magic experiment to revive the dead?

[ninjabanish]

[is she royalty.

oh boy.

she's just going to quietly ignore that. Never, ever think about that question, ever again.]

I have no intention of remaining here for twelve years. While I remain in this... place, trapped against my will, my home's danger grows ever stronger.

[The rest seems like she should address it, but her brain is focused entirely on that timeframe. Twelve years?]

Have people remained that long before?!