genessia | Some things change and some things never will

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Some things change and some things never will

Know what? 'S time t' change some shit up 'round here. If anyone's intrested, I'm sellin' Jolly Eddy's. Jus' got all the paperwork done t' make it a subsidiary a Newgate Enterprises, so y' can keep that if y' want- means if y' flounder, I'm stuck with the bill. But I'm gettin' bored a fightin' goblins an' ghosts an' shit every night. A good fight's always gonna make my day, but these dead shits is such snoozers it ain't worth my time no more. Shoulda known it'd come t' this. Mean, if they's actually good at fightin', they wouldn't be dead in the first place, catch me? SHEHEHEHEH!!!!

If no one wants t' pick it up, I'm gonna shut it down. The scared folk a Everglade lived their long lives without us before, an' they'll bitch an' moan for a bit but they'll figure out other ways a protectin' theirselves in the end. Anybody already workin' there's welcome t' follow me on t' the next adventure, an' I'd be glad t' have y'all 'long, what few a y's left. Gonna switch it up an' follow this here map [The camera swings out to show a holographic girl, an axe hefted over her shoulder, wearing a plaid shirt, dirty jeans, heavy boots, and a fur cap. She cocks a digital eyebrow, then rolls her eyes, and the camera swings back to Namur's determinedly grinning mug.] t' get me some buried treasure, hell yeah! Want a piece a the pot, get me a message. Don't text me though, I ain't got the patience for that kinda shit right now.

Also I ain't gonna be the one weepin' an' moanin' 'bout how much it flippin' sucks 'round here when folks goes on t' the Great Wherever, but I'll be damned if I ain't been thinkin' it hard lately. Some folks don't deserve the shit they gotta live through wherever they's from, an' that's a fact. So let's do somethin' fun instead, get t' know each other a li'l better, aye?

TELL ME YER VOTES FOR TOP THREE HOTTEST ASSES HERE IN GENESSIA! Vote anon or not, 's all good. Pics encouraged but ain't necessary. Hell, I'll even give the winners a prize! Sheheheheh!

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[Guess he's down a part-time job, though this spares him the awkwardness of quitting twice. Lord knows there'd be a lot more of that if he talked about Rowan or Everglade. So instead, he'll sit on this a day or so until he's sure any detectable emotions have been patted down.]

What's the story behind that hologram?

So awhile back the powers that be or whatever saw fit t' gift me a ranch out in that new city, aye? Well, when I stopped in t' pick up the deed, they gived me this li'l trinket, an' the girl pops outta it an' says she's gonna learn me all I needa know 'bout minin' an' cuttin' down trees an' cuttin' rocks an' shit, an' she's got a map a the mine out there so if there's a thing I wanna find jus' ask her. So I called her Map cuz she wanted me t' give her a name.

Why? Wanna ask her out? Don't think she's got that kinda programmin' if y' catch my drift, but yer welcome t' give it yer best shot.

[That makes it the strangest worldly reward he's heard. It's always been charms thus far.]

I see. Did these powers say anything about what it was ultimately for?

Nope. Mean. Growin' trees an' minin' an' shit, obviously. So by this point I figure why the hell not? There's a forge too for workin' the shit we get outta the mines so if y' know anybody lookin' for that kinda work we're hirin'.

Need pretty much everthin' else, too, so. Y' know. Send folk at me, I guess.

[Another mystery. Very odd.]

Huh. And does "Map" instruct one in a smith's ways too? If so, see if that software can't be copied and transferred. I'll have to look into it.

Edited 2019-08-05 05:25 (UTC)

[Namur rubs a fingertip along his gills, then turns back to Map.]

Hey sweetheart, y' can teach a bloke how t' do smithin' shit too, right?

I have been programmed to train any sentient being in all of the tasks required to utilize the Little Bear Ranch to its fullest.

[Namur blinks, slowly, then turns back to Ted in the comm, muttering a plea to his usual deity under his breath.]

Gonna love her, Smolt. Uses a shitload a words when all I needed was a yes or a no.

[He put a thumb to his chin, fixating on its words. At first he thought the ranch was Genssia's way of ingratiating them to its latest addition. "Expansion" might be a better word, given its likeness to a videogame. Thoughts of virtual reality taught Ted their ergot. It was fake, of course, but a very novel fake. Genessia had never increased its real estate like that before. That it clearly, without nuance, knew itself as programming and its users as sentient was refreshing frankness.

But "utilize"? Not "enjoy"? Not "occupy"? That made it sound more serious than another place to live or way to work. And the metal and wood...those rang with a warlike meaning. Very stern stuff to be finding in a ranch, of all places. A romantic like Ted can't help but associate with things like swords and battering rams. And what a singular referral. Not all ranches, just the Little Bear ranch, as though that were it's especial purpose.

Lord help him, it almost seems important. He's gotten his hopes up like this before, but...it bears investigating.]

...Well, it's comprehensive. Yes, see if it can't be copied to another phone. No offense; I believe any prospective worker would benefit from a primary source themselves. You know how much these devices refuse sharing.

[Given the way they lock up whenever someone without the assigned genes or memory tries to use them.]

In the meantime, I'll interrogate Windgate Creek. Good afternoon.

Edited 2019-08-05 15:02 (UTC)

Uh. Yeah I guess that makes sense...

So...

Yer intrested in workin' out there?

Just the "out there" for now; rain check on the work. I'd like to know more first. [He'd feel bad working for Namur directly, or anyone else, given that he's likely the prime suspect in the crime of blowing up the Nova City Skyrise. That's sure to cause trouble down the line.]

Speaking of--

[His voiced picked up]

Map! Please provide a sample of what you can teach to make. It needn't be exhaustive, just representative.

[That would answer two questions. Would it obey people other than Namur? And two, what sort of crafts did it mean to impart?]

[Namur himself turns to look at Map expectantly, but she just sighs, swinging the axe off her shoulder and propping it against the "floor", then leaning on it with both hands.]

I cannot provide samples in my current state. If I could interface with a more powerful holographic processor, however, I could provide any sort of immersive experience necessary for proper real world execution.

[Namur's brows furrow.]

So like, if we took y' t' The Dave's ol' place, y' could do shit there?

I do not understand the query.

Course y' don't. Shit. Ted, wanna translate?

Eheh, you'll have to be more definite with your references. Map, if we brought you to the Holoplaza, could you display what kinds of crafts are available to tutor?

I am but an artificial intelligence, but I assure you I have sufficient memory to say for certain that I have just informed you of the same.

[Now it's Namur's turn to roll his eyes.]

Y' can jus' say "I already toldja that, dumbass". Jus' as sassy in half the time.

I will add this phrase to my conversational lexicon. Dumbass.

[The hologram smiles, a coy and surprisingly human little smirk.

Namur turns to Ted.]

So y' wanna head on down there?

[That's interesting too. It didn't make suggestions of said processor on its own, yet knew what they were talking about and its capacities exactly. Quite the advanced gadget for something about a place as rustic as Windgate Creek. Why all the high tech to produce such rudimentary goods? At any rate, it's clearly centrally managed. It knew not just what Genessia made directly, but any additions they'd made to it, and could connect to them digitally by proximity without any more work on their part. How convenient.]

Need one make holograms more vulgar than usual? Sure; I'll be there in twenty minutes. Until then.

[As a source of recreation, Ted could tolerate the Holoplaza. As a source of information and discovery? What novelty.]

[Namur waves as he strolls up, Map "strolling" alongside, the axe once more slung over her shoulder. Whether or not she has any inkling that she's presently brandishing a weapon in public, either way she seems entirely unashamed of it. She looks tall and sturdy, muscles well defined, and while she won't be winning any beauty pageants, her face is feminine and comely enough to be considered pretty.]

Yo, Smolt! Let's get our lumberjack on, eh? Sheheheh!

[He turns to Map.]

Needa be inside first or what?

[She stares for a moment, blinking slowly.]

I can interface with the network from here. However, you will still have to rent a room. I will meet you there when your preparations are complete.

[Map nods a greeting to Ted, then flickers and disappears. Namur shrugs.]

That's how that shit works I guess. Ready?

Mhm.

[Since he asked, Ted pays, punching in his info as a miter's sum is withdrawn. Fancy! He wondered "What's to prep?", considering all they really needed was space enough to see everything. Or, as stated, a representative sample of all there was. Once they're admitted, Ted nods and walks into the large, black and neon room with electric grid-lines throughout. An imposingly large, cavernous area ready to display anything they'd like with hard light.

He fought a dragon here once. It was okay.]

All right, map. Let's see what you'd have us make.

I hope that whatever it is you end up doing will be an adventure~

[But Rapunzel soon found herself pausing for a moment at the last part. Votes for hottest asses. She had no idea why this was a question.]

I cannot say what counts as a hot... ass. Though why do you want to know about hot asses?

Goin' after buried treasure's always an adventure, no matter where y' look.

Means if y' think someone's got a pleasurable derriere. A nice butt. Look as good goin' as they do comin', catch me? Who doesn't wanna know 'bout that kinda shit? 'S fun t' talk 'bout. Better with pics, eh? Sheheheh!

Oh, so it's not a case of them being on literal fire. I knew it wasn't that, but you never know with the world.

I don't really notice though.

Whaaaa? C'mon, seriously? Pretty young thing like y' ain't even noticin'?

Damn, sweetheart. Notice faces an' shit though, right?

Sorry. it's not the first thing I would think of.

I do notice faces though.

A'ight fine. Who 'round here's got a nice face y' like t' look at, eh?

[He waggles his eyebrows ever so suggestively.]

Uh... well... There are some people who look pretty and beautiful. Most of the people I have met fall under that though.

Next it will be a dick measuring contest.

Sheheheh! Mean, if y' want! But I figured I'd go with somethin' everbody else has got a chance a winnin' t' start with.

[He raises his brows a few times, looking smug.]

I don't honestly care, but it's these types of thing usually ends up doing what I just said. I don't honestly get it though.

Ehhhh, 's kinda the same idea as like, sports or wrestlin' an' shit. Jus' braggin' rights more'n anythin' else. So y' can walk 'round goin' I got the best ass in town, hell yeah! or whatever. Y' get the concept a wantin' t' win somethin', aye?

Edited 2019-09-04 18:33 (UTC)

I at least understand the concept of wanting to win... Just never over anything quite like that before.

[At that last remark, two people immediately spring into Gale's mind-- but he stops himself before he could allow himself to spout those names. Gods, that would be one way to land in hot water if he let that one slip. ... so, since his video is turned on, he'll cover his tracks by smiling and shrugging.]

I have been told numerous times over by the Holy Diver staff that mine own looks quite good in these tights.

But alas, I am sure entering one's self would be considered cheating, no?

Don't recall hearin' m'self say there's any rules other'n folks is gonna vote an' someone's gonna get a prize. So y' think yer some kinda hot shit, eh?

[Namur squints at the screen. Tights, glasses, heavy overcoat. Hot mess might be a bit more like it. But hell, at least now Ted's got a fashion friend.]

Ah, but it is simply what my staff has told me. I choose not to confirm or deny. T'is all but possible they could be flattering me with such words to earn themselves extra pay down the line.

[He shrugs again. Judge away, Gale doesn't care. Anyone who judges the attire of another clearly need something better to do with their time.]

Right, right. Gotta get the humblebrag points in there. 'S cool. If y' want an unbiased opinion y' can post a photo here. I ain't got nothin' t' lose tellin' y' whether or not yer ass's more like a lumpy sack.

Goodbye to Jolly Eddy's, hello to new adventures. I've always got time for some treasure hunting. Or whatever you need me for.

[Ace scratches his hand through his hair, thinking.] Best asses though... [He's not sure if he should nominate or not when it comes down to it. Smoker might feel weird about it, but he fills out jeans like nothing else. He doesn't really pay attention to other people's hide ends in general though.] This is a tough one.

What y' ain't gonna 'mediately nominate yer lover?

Bruh.

Ass's that bad, huh? No wonder he's always wearin' a shitty coat.

[And after a moment, a bit quieter, with almost a shrug. Namur's holding it together so he doesn't want to get too into it- and besides, there's nothing to really get into. Just the fact that: ]

Rowan's gone. Think y' met her a few times, so. Jus' figured I'd letcha know...

He fills his jeans well! I just felt weird nominating him for it. He can be kinda touchy. [You only live once. Or at least in most people's cases, they only live once. So yolo still counts and he figures if it means making it look like Smoker has a bad butt if he's not nominated, he'll risk upsetting him.]

Fine. Smoker's ass, best in Genessia. I'm nominatin' him.

[And then Ace sighs, because the fun is gone. Shit. Rowan was nice.] I wasn't as close to her as I am Rip, but we knew each other. Want some rum on my dime? I can pay for drinks when you feel like it.

Portgas D. Ace.

Rip van Winkle.

[Shit. He balks on a third. Everyone hot has gooooooooone, yo.]

Fuck it, I'll claim my own. There.

Well shit, that puts y' in the lead.

What? How is it not Portgas?

He only nominated yer ass. An' the two a y's the only folks that's bothered nominatin' anybody other'n yerselves. So congrats on not bein' total dickheads, sheheheh!

Well, tell him to add himself and another!

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Some things change and some things never will

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