genessia | PokePasta (Video/Action, Fayren, OTA) (Backdated 8/1)

Entry tags:

PokePasta (Video/Action, Fayren, OTA) (Backdated 8/1)

[Papyrus, in full chef regalia, poses magnificently before an over-sized pan, holding a large stirring spoon like a king's scepter.]

GREETINGS GENESSIA! IT IS I, THE GREAT CHEF-SLASH-GUARDIAN PAPYRUS, HERE TO BRING YOU A SPECIAL TREAT! MY SOON-TO-BE-WORLD-FAMOUS POKEMON PASTA! IT'S MADE FROM ONLY THE MOST DELICIOUS AND EDIBLE 'MONS OF THEM ALL! HERE COMES ONE NOW!

[Bounsweet leafcopters in, panting and smiling. It tumbles into the pan, then rolls around, glazing the surface with its sugary-sweet sweat.]

WOWIE, BOUNSWEET WORKED UP A BOUN-SWEAT! ORDINARILY THE SWEETNESS IS TOO POWERFUL FOR HUMANS, SO LET'S WATER--NAY, MILK IT DOWN!! MILTANK, YOU'RE UP!

[The camera pans to a pink cow who fires its four udders, producing a quadruple stream of white, glittering ambrosia. Great aim! Once it's in, Papyrus tosses a handful of magic fire-powder below, instantly producing a roaring flame.]

THAT MILK IS FULL OF NUTRIENTS!! DRINK ENOUGH, AND MAYBE ONE DAY YOU CAN BE AS BUFF AS ME!!! NOW, LET'S SOAK THE ONE THING NO POPULAR DISH CAN DO WITHOUT: PASTA! I'VE BEEN SAVING THESE NOODLES IN AN ANCIENT, OAKEN CASK AS OLD AS THE FAYREN WOODS ITSELF!!! IN THEY GO!!! WOW, THEY'RE AS SOFT AS I'M NOT ON CRIME!!! OKAY, THE SAUCE IS GOING GREAT!! NOW WE NEED SOME GARNISHMENTS! PANSAGE, LEND ME YOUR HEAD! PETILIL, YOUR LEAF! TROPIUS, YOUR NECK! CHANCEY, YOUR EGG! (BY THE WAY, THOSE LAST TWO WERE DONATED BY THE GREAT DOVE! THANKS A MILLION!!!)

[A monkey, a bulb, a bananasaur, and a...Chancey, respectively, all drop their particular victuals into the mix. Papyrus stirs like he's never stirred before, even though he totally has. How else could he cook with such power and speed?]

NYEEEEEH!!! MAXIMUM POKEPOWERRRR!!!!

[Huffing and puffing, he stirs like a mad witch over a cauldron of deliciousness. The flame goes out, signalling the dish is complete.]

HAH...HAH...THE POKEPASTA IS PERFECT!!! ALL RIGHT, I HOPE THAT'S ENOUGH FOR EVERYONE, BUT SINCE IT'S THE BEST THING YOU'RE LIKELY TO EAT, PROBABLY NOT! FIRST COME, FIRST SERVE!!

[That's questionably true. The taste is...well, you know how some dislike pineapple on pizza because they don't want sweet and savory to mix? It's the pasta version of that, but worse. The taste is, like everything he makes, indescribable.

Those brave enough to eat it, however, will feel euphoric. The leaves of Pansage and Petilil will refresh and rejuvenate, banishing all fatigue. One bite of Chancey's scrambled egg would make you so happy, Prozac is jealous. The fruit of Tropius...won't do anything in particular, but what else was he going to use? Clawitzer's entire arm? In a perversion of philosophy, the parts were more than the whole.

But do you dare? DO YOU!?]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Now that just doesn't look right. Bananas don't belong in any sort of pasta dish, not according to any recipe she knows. Still, this is something completely foreign, so who knows?]

I'll try it. Keep it warm and I'll be right there.

[At the very least she can offer an honest critique if he's truly aspiring to be a chef.]

OH NO! I DON'T HAVE ANY FIRE TYPES WITH ME RIGHT NOW!!! BUT I'LL TRY MY BEST!!!!

[Aspiring!? Would he have gotten his first job if he wasn't fully accomplished? Would he have won a charm if he wasn't an indisputable pokemon master? He'll show her!]

[Fayren sure looks different in the dog days of summer than it does in late autumn. Both are pretty in their own ways, but she definitely prefers the warm weather as she jogs through town, never content to simply walk anywhere when she's got a pair of legs and a healthy cardiovascular system.]

[It isn't too long before she finds her way to Papyrus's address. She's been curious about this strangely helpful skeleton with the billowing scarf for a while, so she may as well meet him in person. Instead of barging into his house like she does back in Oak Tree, she exercises the manners that are more acceptable here and knocks on his door.]

[Papyrus respects a pair of healthy legs, and he wasn't shy about showing off his healthy thighbones. He also respects, as Annie would observe when she came to the Guardian's Tower, imposing aesthetic. It was, with possible exception to the Skyrise in Nova City, the largest of its kind, and had been painted to look like one large Papyrus skull. Or as much as a giant pagoda could.

The important thing was that they tried.

As she went to knock on the front tooth that served as the door, Papyrus' strong, easily carried voice wafted to her, along with the pungent, fruity fumes.]

THE GREAT PAPYRUS ISN'T AT HOME RIGHT NOW! BUT HE IS A FEW STEPS OUTSIDE OF HOME, MANNING THIS IMPRESSIVE GRILL-PIT! PERHAPS YOU WOULD LIKE TO PULL UP A STUMP SEAT, AND ENJOY THE FRUITS OF HIS TASTY LABORS!?

[The pokemon themselves looked a little tired, having emptied themselves of their most delicious parts. True to his word, some crude chairs whittled out of who knows what surrounded the fire. Conversely, a set of silverware wrapped in a dainty napkin occupied each seat. He's so sure they'll fill quickly.]

Edited 2019-08-17 05:58 (UTC)

[That sure is...something. She has to give herself a little mental shake to stop staring at the pagoda skull. It's easily the most eccentric house she's seen, moreso even than the little witch girl that lives in the magical house on the pond. Where's the door, anyway?]

[Just as Annie realizes which tooth is supposed to be a door, she whirls around at the sound of Papyrus's very distinctive voice. An outdoor meal sounds pretty good! It's almost like a festival, if they served unusual and possibly inedible cuisine. She wanders around the building until she catches sight of all the stumps arranged around the grill. He really went to a lot of effort to prepare all of this. What a friendly skeleton guy. She stops briefly to pat Tropius's shoulder, because she likes that Pokemon an awful lot, and finds a nice 'chair' to take a seat with the silverware safely held in her lap.]

Good evening.

[She looks quizzically at the other seats, which are not-so-mysteriously empty.]

Who are we waiting on?

[Tropius appreciates those pats. It prefers to give its fruit to children; Papyrus almost qualifies.

He smiles his confident grin, ready to answer that and so many other questions.]

THE REAL QUESTION IS: WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?? AND THE REALER ANSWER IS: THIS PIPING HOT POKEPASTA! THE REALEST QUESTION IS: HOW MUCH LONGER?? THE REALESTER ANSWERER IS: RIGHT NOW!! SLIDE YOUR PLATE ON OVER, AND I'LL LADLE THE GOODS!!!

[If she complies, he does, taking pleasure in watching the string of mismatched, albeit colorful, ingredients ooze along their noodly trails. He'd slide it right on back.]

I HOPE YOU CAN HANDLE IT!! THIS COMES FROM SOME PRETTY POWERFUL MONS!!

Edited 2019-09-16 04:34 (UTC)

[Not... Sure... If... Want.

Wow what even is going on there? Is this what Pokemon trainers do in their spare time? Or just just Papyrus?

Ace quickly decides that it's probably just Papyrus.] Are you sure that's even edible?

[Papyrus is the most confident chef in the world. It's like asking whether he thinks he's awesome and an awesome Guardian. Duh, obviously!]

ONE WAY TO FIND OUT!

[He double-dog dares.]

There's a limit to what even I'll eat.

[But guess who's on his way anyway. Ace, who makes bad life choices as a rule.]

OH NO! I DIDN'T EVEN THINK ABOUT MAKING IT TOO DELICIOUS TO HANDLE!!! COULD MY BEST BE TOO STRONG FOR EVEN YOUR STOMACH!?

NO, I WON'T ACCEPT THAT!! I REFUSE TO ALLOW GASTRONOMIC WEAKNESS FROM MY DEPUTIES!!

...EXCEPT ITHERAEL. ARMOR HAS NO STOMACH.

Do you want me to come and try it or not? I've pretty much got an iron stomach, I've never been sick. So even if I hate it I'm not gonna end up skipping work or anything.

OF COURSE I DO! LIKE ALL MY COOKING, IT'S A BIFECTA. IT'S GOOD AND GOOD FOR YOU! SO MUCH THAT YOU'LL PROBABLY WANNA TAKE DOUBLE SHIFTS!!!

[He's half right, per the potency of the poke-ingredients. Which half must be discovered.]

Most of your cookin' is a little weird. [Or a lot weird. And nothing could make him want to do double shifts. Especially not Papyrus's wild cooking.]

I'll be there soon.

[That would be problematic, were that an adjective alone. But Papyrus knows what to do with that: magically make it an adverb.]

YOU'RE NOT WRONG. MY COOKING IS WEIRDLY WONDERFUL!! THERE'S NOTHING ELSE LIKE IT!!!

[So true it hurts. He'll be waiting there, with an eager smile and daring eyes. Ace will love it, he just knows it.]

Yeah. I'm sure. Weirdly something.

[He's not someone who gets sick by gross cooking, but it doesn't mean he wants to eat Papyrus's food on a regular occasion. Much less when it has Pokemon ingredients. But Ace makes his way over, and finally finds himself in front of the giant pan of horrors.]

[Alas, the pokemon ingredients are its saving grace. With a graceful savoir faire of his own, Papyrus piles on the pasta. Ace is a big eater, after all. Wouldn't want him to go without his several portions.]

BONE APPETIT!!! HAVE A SEAT!!

[An awful pun hidden enough to avoid notice. He hopes. He slides the dish full of poke-fructose on over, eager to change Ace's lackluster opinion forever.]

Sure...

[Ace sits down apprehensively. He's aware that Papyrus has a, ah, unique style of cooking. He's no Thatch or Sanji, that's for sure. But once he's arrived, he's committed to this. No matter how gross this ends up being.]

It's pasta. I guess it can't be too bad. [He doesn't know what bone appetit means, and it all goes over his head. But he has a pretty impressive cast iron stomach so even if he hates this, it's not going to make him sick. Ace takes a pretty massive bite, he's not someone who shies away or takes delicate nibbles.

He drops the fork soon after swallowing the first mouthful, and then picks up his plate and literally lets the rest of it fall into his mouth. ~~Which has gotten larger than before suddenly, because shonen pirates can eat massive amounts of food in one go for comedic reasons.~~

This is amazing. Not in how it tastes, but how he feels.]

[Wow, look at it go. Straight down the hatch. On cue, Papyrus prepares the second plate. No one ever likes his cooking enough to just wolf it down like that. Ace isn't making weird faces, or his stomach weird noises, or anything!]

WOWIE!!! YOU CAN'T EAT IT FAST ENOUGH!! WELL, I MADE A LOT!!

[Probably not enough, at this rate. Oh well! Running out would be a success in its own right. Aren't pokemon the greatest?]

[Ace pauses between plates, and grins.]

You were right. This is fantastic. I don't think I've felt this good in a long time.

[Ace is someone who'd benefit from a good antidepressant if he actually could get medicine that worked with his freakish metabolism. This will have to do though, and he's starting to feel bright and warm and healthy.] You proved me wrong this time and I'm damn glad you did. [He works on the second plate, after giving Papyrus a very appreciative look.]

[Darc wouldn't bother, except that he knows how good Chancey/Blissey eggs are. (In fact, he's looking a little less fatigued than the last time they spoke because of his Blissey.)]

I'll try it.

BETTER HURRY! WHO KNOWS HOW LONG THIS PASTA WILL PERSIST!?

[He's had all of two takers. But they might both eat half! You never know!]

Where are you exactly? I'll head over.

...Oh, and I'm bringing one of my Pokemon.

[He'll ping the location, but just in case that wasn't dramatic enough...]

OUTSIDE GUARDIAN HQ! YOU'LL KNOW IT BY THE HUGE PAN!! GET IT WHILE IT'S HOT!! AND THAT SOUNDS LIKE A GREAT IDEA! AS GREAT AND DELICIOUS AS THESE MONS ARE, I'LL PROBABLY HAVE TO SWAP MOST OF THEM IN THE SAFARI FOR OTHER ONES. ONLY THE GREATEST WILL DO!

[They're no doubt elated to hear about their upcoming retirement.]

That's good. They're animals, they should have some time in the wild. All right, I'm on my way.

[Darc shows up a few minutes later, his Jigglypuff in tow. As they approach, Jigglypuff jumps up into Darc's draconic left arm. The scales and talons don't seem to bother her.]

Hey. Time to try this pasta stuff you keep going on about.

[He poses immaculately in his lily-white apron.]

SO! FINALLY READY TO CHALLENGE YOUR TASTE-BUDS!? I'D EXPECT NOTHING LESS FROM A KING! HERE YOU GO: A ROYAL FEAST!!

[He ladles up the stuff, plops it on a plate, then slides the saucy repast on over. Darc can almost smell the sucrose sizzling off it. The taste defies the mun's language to describe.]

[Well well, Darc certainly appreciates the royal welcome. Papyrus gets a proud smirk for that as he awaits the food.]

[The scent of said food, however, turns his expression to a crinkled nose. He's already not much of a fan of sweet foods. A part of him wonders if he's made a mistake, but he shuts that part up fast. Eating weird food isn't the worst thing he's experienced in his life - he won't be a coward now!]

[Darc gets a scoop of the pasta onto his fork and puts it in his mouth. His whole body stiffens; his eyes widen. Jigglypuff watches with worry. Leaning out, it takes a sniff of the dish in front of them, and a shiver of...something runs through its body. It looks to Darc with a concerned, "Jiggly...?"]

[Slowly, Darc takes the fork out of his mouth and begins chewing...]

[He smiles and stares in anticipation. It wasn't like a normal pasta dish, which boast either a red or a white sauce. With all the grass-types involved, it sported a healthy, fruity green.

For once, Papyrus keeps his mouth shut, eager to hear the oncoming adulation. Pasta goes in; praise comes out. He knows this must be, like a physical law.]

Edited 2019-08-24 00:39 (UTC)

[He swallows with a loud gulp. His mouth opens, about to ask, "what the fuck was that?" But that's when the ingredients' effects kick in.]

Haaa! I feel...I feel great! [He flexes, grinning.] I feel like I could save the world all over again! Without help! Ha ha ha!

[Darc looks to Papyrus.] This tastes really...weird, but the results are worth it!

[Jigglypuff looks on with a smile as Darc takes another mouthful. He cringes, but keeps pushing through it for more of that euphoria.]

Edited 2019-08-27 00:46 (UTC)

[That right there is the reaction he dreamed of getting. All his dishes should make people feel that way. See? He knew he was a great chef! And to think, all it took to bring out his true potential was the detritus from magic animals. The great chef was in him the whole time.]

YES!!! ENJOY MY WORLD-SAVING SPAGHETTI!! THERE'S PLENTY MORE WHERE THAT CAME FROM!!

[He'd consider trying some himself, but what can he say? He's a cook of the people. Besides, he couldn't feel much better than he does right now.]

[He's a few more mouthfuls in by the time he responds.] I guess you make good food after all, for someone without a stomach. Maybe I should try using my Blissey's eggs too.

[About to eat more, he pauses as if he remembers something.] ...Thanks, by the way. [Om nom nom continues.]

[

oh this is bad ]

P–Papyrus-san... are you sure that's, um... safe for people to be eating?

WHAT A SILLY QUESTION, RANCH MANAGER! BUT ONE I'M HAPPY TO ANSWER!! AS I'VE TOLD YOU, I'M THE GUARDIAN, WHICH MEANS SAFETY IS MY NUMBER ONE PRIORITY!

[Sorry Yuuri he'd use the name but it wasn't given. The job title's probably cooler anyway lbr.]

THE ONLY DANGER HERE IS HOW DANGEROUSLY DELICIOUS IT IS!!

[He assumes.]

[ And that's exactly the sort of answer she was afraid she'd get. She can already feel a migraine coming on. ]

I'll... take your word for it, then. As long as people are, um.... enjoying the dish, I don't suppose there's anything to worry about.

I KNEW YOU'D COME AROUND!! BUT WHY SETTLE FOR THE WORDS THAT COME FROM MY MAGNIFICENT MOUTH WHEN YOU COULD VERIFY WITH YOURS!? THERE'S STILL SOME LEFT!!! YOU COULD EVEN BRING MY WORLD-CLASS VEGGIES TO THE MIX!

[Just full of good ideas here.]

Oh, I appreciate the offer, but– um–

[ Oh lord. She can't say she's vegetarian because that's just so blatantly untrue that it's just asking to be caught in her lie. But she also can't, you know, tell the truth because that's her boss but more importantly, that's Papyrus and it feels incredibly wrong somehow to be so blunt with him.

So instead, she blurts out the first thing that comes into her head. ]

I actually prefer not to eat things that've come from Pokemon! It's– um... it's a belief of mine!

[ And then she just sort of stops so she can process the sheer the fuck of the words that just came out of her own mouth. ]

[She wouldn't be the first to think being forthright with him was unwise. Many do, so he's become very good at noticing it. Just like every other time he's noticed, he pretends not to. They do it because they're nice people, after all, and who doesn't want to be treated nicely? The only sour spot is that maybe, just maybe, she's saying it because he's her boss. Gosh, that would be terrible. So he won't think that anymore!]

...FOLLOWING YOUR BELIEFS. WHAT A PAPYRUS THING TO DO!! OKAY, RANCH MANAGER. I RESPECT YOUR NON-POKE-BYPRODUCT-EATING WAYS!!! I HOPE THE MILTANK THERE DOESN'T TEMPT TOO MUCH! KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!!

SHUT THE FUCK UP!!! No one needs to hear you in another world away!!

UNLESS THEY'RE IN A WORLD DEPRIVED OF DELICIOUSNESS. THEN THEY'D BE GRATEFUL MY VOICE WAS SO STRONG!! AND NO ONE, IN THIS OR ANY WORLD, NEEDS TO HEAR CURSE WORDS!!!

[Plugs his ears with fingers.]

What no one needs is burst eardrums!

ANOTHER EXCELLENT POINT!! THE BODYBAND WOULDN'T BE COMPLETE WITHOUT 'EM!!

[He went hard on music for a month or so. He knows his stuff.]

Bodyband?

YUP. YOU NEED ALL THE MEMBERS!!

LIKE THE HEARTSICHORD.
AND ORGAN.

[Someone stop him he doesn't even have those.]

What do those sound like? And why do I expect: loud?

LOOK, BODILY FUNCTIONS ARE DELICATE BUSINESS. HOW SHOULD I KNOW ANYONE'S BUT MINE!?

WHICH SOUNDS, BY THE WAY, LIKE RIGHTEOUS RATTLING. NYEH HEH HEH!

I officially regret asking.

[But it was such a great answer! So why...oh. Jealousy. Of course.]

DON'T WORRY!! IF YOU DRINK PLENTY OF MILK, ONE DAY YOUR BODY COULD SOUND ALMOST AS GOOD AS MINE! INDEED, MY RANCH IS EXPERTLY DESIGNED TO PRODUCE THAT VERY THING!!!

Oh god no! Pass.

IT'S NICE OF YOU TO BE SELFLESS, BUT DON'T WORRY, THERE'S PLENTY FOR EVERYONE!! I CAN EVEN ASK THE GREAT RANCHER ROMANI FOR A DISCOUNT!!!

[Double facepalms.] I didn't think you were... No.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

PokePasta (Video/Action, Fayren, OTA) (Backdated 8/1)

[Video]

Re: [Video]

[Action]

Re: [Action]

[Action]

Re: [Action]

[Video]

Re: [Video]

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

[Video]

Re: [Video]

[Video]

Re: [Video]

[Video] to [Action]

Re: [Video] to [Action]

Re: [Video] to [Action]

Re: [Video] to [Action]

[Action]

Re: [Action]

Re: [Action]

video

Re: video

video

Re: video

video

Re: video

[video] / ooc: sorry for late, I died.

Unforgivable

:V Bite me <3

:E

:D

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject