genessia | [Audio] + [Action]

Entry tags:

[Audio] + [Action]

Audio: Drunk/Accidental Posting

[There are a couple of disjointed audio posts that come within a couple hours of each other. One has the sound of breaking glass and the sound of impacts. In one Ace's voice can be heard saying something that sounds like "Goddamn thing keeps-" but then trails off into nothing else before being turned off. Another has the sound of a roaring fire.]

Action

[Ace is on a pub crawl today, trying out drinks in all of the cities save for Somorrah. The special occasion? The loss of his brothers in Genessia. Ace knows he's fine. That they're better off back home, where Sabo won't remember what happened to him in that terrible place he was trapped in before this, and where Luffy can continue the rise to the top and become the king of the pirates. But he can't go with them, there's no back home for him now, and even if he could he'd lose everything else he's gained here. So he's sad because Sabo and Luffy are gone, angry because of how sad he feels, and frustrated in general at feeling like a toy on a string, dangled about for someone's amusement.

Alcohol is not an ideal cure for a heavy heart. But it's the best one Ace knows.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

You're doing fine, Portgas. Just rock her.

[Feeds him some bacon he'd been saving for sandwiches or baking into dog treats.] You're not as incapable as you think.

And yeah, if you ever want to adopt, I'm sure it'll be like Adela again, someone practically your age, but you can handle this. If Garp can handle babies, you definitely can. Just don't punch them when they cry.

[Ace is a bit dumbfounded. He's not sure how to deal with any of this, because emotions are strong, and he's shaken up and still drunk. And Smoker has managed to make himself ridiculously appealing to Ace somehow. He tries to do as he's been told, rock the doll, her? He guesses it's a girl, then again, that's what Smoker has experiences with in parenting. Girls. Adela.

Ace never got to really be a parent to her. She was damn near his age, after all. But she was Smoker's kid, and in another life she was his too...

Shit. He's not drunk enough for this. And the bacon helps, he was hungry, but this tiny plastic horror is kind of shaking up his whole night.] I'd never punch a baby! I hated when he hit us, it was the worst. [Ace tries to shift the doll around, but he's scared to even move it so he gives up.] Do you like kids? I mean, do you want kids. I want you to be honest with me.

Edited 2019-09-22 02:48 (UTC)

[Smoker catches what Ace is trying to do and helps him out, then gently moves to pick Ace and doll up, and set him in his lap.]

Of course I love kids. And don't give me shit about how being with you I can't have any, I wouldn't without you. Remember? I first adopted Adela because of you.

[Nuzzles Ace's shoulder and reaches around him to blindly get Ace more food. And pull out ingredients for French toast. It won't slow him down, he promises.]

Kids are like you. Fun. They're way more durable than you think, too. Most kids are just...

[Sigh.] Lost messed up brats like your father; Whitebeard, always took in and made something out of. Yes, they're more impressionable, but they're not too different from being a division commander, or a marine captain, or leading a pack of wolves or dogs.

You're responsible for them, and you know they're going to make mistakes and nearly get themselves killed, and maybe you along with it! So you try to teach them how to protect each other and survive anywhere and try not to let them drag anyone down. You try to teach them the best justice you can, and then you just have to trust them to follow it.

Babies are a little trickier, because they can't talk, and no one enjoys toilet training, but it's pretty much the same as a puppy. You get out what you put in. You protect them, feed them, make sure they're clean, and in return they're loyal and love you as best as they can. And wake you up at stupid hours crying or licking your toes. Pretty much the same.

I meant that way. [Ace is ever so grateful for being male right now, and that there's absolutely no chance at accidental babies. And he still doesn't know how he feels about kids, though. Pregnancy makes him, as a rule, so disturbed that he won't eat easily after seeing a pregnant woman. Tiny babies seem like timebombs to their demises. And he's never once considered parenting seriously.

Smoker loves kids, though. Smoker would be such a good father. And that resonates in Ace a bit. He cradles the doll as best he can, still nervous but not quite so fearful when he's on Smoker's lap and settled this way. It's hard to be afraid of anything with Smoker's powerful presence there.] I'm so scared that I'd kill a kid, on accident. They're small and good and perfect. And they break really easy, not just in the body. I mean, even I had to be nice once. That didn't last long. And I was a damn monster as a kid. [He was born a monster.]

...You know all about Baterilla right? And what happened there? It was pretty bad. And it was my fault it happened.

Edited 2019-09-22 03:32 (UTC)

Portgas, you were not a monster child. I would stake my life that I'd love you just as much, and you were just fucked up from... knowing things like... that.

[Kisses Ace's head.] That is NOT your fault. NONE of that blood is on your hands, understand? It's on the World Government, and the Marines who didn't balk at reprehensible orders.

[Cuddles his stupid pirate.] I want you to read a book, it's called Doctor Frankenstein, by Mary Shelley.

I've been called a monster my whole life too, kid. It doesn't bother me, even though it bothers Tashigi and Adela.

[Kisses down Ace's cheek and jawline.] It's the law that was wrong Portgas, not you, not your mother for wanting you, not even Roger, no matter how selfish you the no he was. Our whole world has to move away from caring about bloodlines, and it's something that takes it toll on all of us. [More kisses for Ace's neck.]

You're a good man, Portgas. Not a demon, not the son of a demon, not a monster, not a sin to purge out of existence. I'd be miserable without you, stupid. [Ruffles Ace hair.]

You can handle this, because you've got me to help you.

[Ace wipes his face with one hand, while balancing the doll as best he can, trying to keep the few tears that threaten to spill out from doing so. He hates crying almost as much as he hates how easily he ends up tearing up in the first place. But gods, it's hard not to cry at such a powerful affirmation.

That is NOT your fault. NONE of that blood is on your hands, understand? It's on the World Government, and the Marines who didn't balk at reprehensible orders.

It's the law that was wrong Portgas

I'd be miserable without you, stupid.

Ace has always felt the World Government was wrong about almost everything. A part of Ace has always felt like maybe things were different about Roger than what he was told. And a part of Ace knew that anyone who'd hurt a child because of his heritage, or want him dead, was a worst person than any monster out on the seas.

But it's a struggle to accept that. And to feel like he deserves to be alive at all, even now.] I don't get it. I don't get why you love me so much. And it almost hurts, like I'm being torn open when you say stuff like that, but it's not in a bad way. [Ace leans up to kiss Smoker's jaw, and then he sighs.] Can we try a puppy first? And if I can handle that, I can handle a kid I guess.

Edited 2019-09-22 05:15 (UTC)

[Aaaaaace...]

[Smoker gently takes the doll with smoke hands and moves her to a blanket aside for now.]

You want a fourth dog? [A small laugh and he kisses Ace's temple.] Yeah, we can do that. A puppy. Say when, and we'll go looking. Together.

And I love you because... You challenge me. You don't let me ignore uncomfortable truths like how much our world is shit, and my own part in a really wrong system. You spur me forward, and never let me get bored or complacent. [Smoker kicks off his boots, and rolls down a sock to remind Ace of his fire spur tattoos.] And even with all that, you make me laugh and enjoy things I never could have without you.

[Kisses the back of Ace's neck, all over.] The real monsters think strength makes them right, that they could never be wrong. You try to protect and save and rescue people, even when they've hurt you. So yeah, I love you more than anything, Portgas. You're the closest I'll come to being a pirate, because you're my treasure, so I'll fight to defend that.

You want some eggs and french toast, or is all this draining you and you just want to sleep for now?

[He's still shaken up. Smoker makes him see things in ways that throw off everything. He's had to reexamine his feelings time after time in this relationship, not on how he sees them, but on how he sees himself and his views of his own life. And now, with the doll away from them and Ace able to get more comfortable, he's still trying to handle the idea that his hands aren't stained with blood.

When he was younger, he used to imagine how they'd killed those people. His mind would run wild and he'd blame himself again and again. Now that he's working through things, he doesn't see things quite so literally, but it's still emotionally draining to handle the idea of raising children.

Even if it seems possible now, somehow.]

They have this thing you can do, with puppies, you can keep 'em while they're little. So they learn how to be good dogs for their real homes. We could do that instead, if that's better. [But he's not going to say no to a puppy either. While he loves their dogs, all of them, he still wants a puppy of his own.] But looking for a puppy together is good too. We could make a date of it.

[Ace rubs one of his legs against Smoker's, god, he couldn't ever forget the tattoos. That was such an important day to Ace, he puts Smoker's name on his wrist. Opposite of the one that held the ASL tattoo.] We're good together. 'Cause you give me something that's hard to explain. It's not just that you love me, and that I love you. It's like you make me feel like things are possible, almost like I'm worth the love you give me. [Almost is a huge admission, he hates showing weakness. Even when it's important to let go and trust.] We balance each other out, I guess.

[Ace shivers at the kisses, and makes a soft noise in contentment, but then jerks still at being called Smoker's treasure, that he's worth fighting to defend. How can he say things that affect Ace so strongly? Ace can't handle how much love he feels right now, even if he's absolutely happy about it.] You're so good to me. [He breathes out sharply, and leans in to nuzzle against Smoker.] I'm drained. I'm trying to think of if I'm gonna be miserable in the morning if I don't eat more though. Can you pick for me, tonight? I don't think I want to make the choice. Either you put me to bed, or I stay up, eat more, then suck you off. Then you put me to bed anyway. It's all up to you.

I'm not raising a dog only to give 'em up. [Laughs and nuzzles Ace's head.] Besides, I don't mind a little bit of chaos. Your Grandfather would love it. Which is terrifying in its own right, but there you go. Besides, once you grow to love one, I doubt you could give it up either. You're not the type. [Gestures to all the bracelets and mementos of Ace's life, with a small tug on a few of them.] You've always got them with you, so see it through to the end, even if that scares you more, okay?

[More nuzzles and gently ruffles Ace's hair, moving to flick on the stove top.] Compromise. I'll get you to bed when I finish cooking and you'll sleep, but you won't feel like so much shit with food in you, and you can wake me up, and do whatever you want then, deal?

Okay. Guess we're getting a puppy then. [Ace wriggles a little, he's drunk and snuggly and he's getting a puppy. And puppies are way more exciting to think about than babies.] I don't wanna think about Gramps right now. But it's okay I like chaos too. As long as there's stable footing, everything else should be lively. [And Ace's whole life is chaos, with a stable home to come back to. And that makes all of the struggles survivable. Luffy and Sabo are gone now, and some of Ace's closest friends too. But Smoker is still here, and the dogs are still here, and he has friends that he's not as close to but still cares about. So it's all still comfortable and good, despite the stresses and reevaluations.

Smoker is right, though. Once Ace makes a choice, he doesn't back down. And that's even more true when it comes to what he loves.] Okay. But I'm gonna wake you up in a scandalous way, if you know what I mean. That's my kinda deal.

Yup, wouldn't expect anything less. That's how I like it.

[He fusses about and cooks some food for Ace, gently snuggling, and occasionally nibbling Ace's ears affectionately.] So how was your night of drunk adventures? Anything fun I missed out on?

[Ace is just soaking in the affection. His mood is so much better now. He steals kisses, and is slowly sobering up a little. If all goes well, he'll sleep very easily with a full belly and some booze still in his system.] I drank at almost every bar in Genessia, ended up on the island of dolls, and found out my friends are dating. I guess it's serious too...

Which friends?

I saw some of the Island of Dolls stuff. From the comm. You and your boss make a disturbing team of not entirely competency.

[Yeah uh. Smoker is always watching? Is that creepy? IT'S DEFINITELY CREEPY. Will he stop? No, never.]

Papyrus and Itherael. They're gonna have kids someday, and make me babysit while they watch movies.

[Does he sound very worried? Yes, yes he does.] He's not my boss! I'm doing this as a favor. And I had that under control too before he decided to get me ported out before I kicked doll ass. One of them called me mama, it was personal.

[Huff huff huff.]

[Ace. You are the fucking cutest dumbass ever.]

[But also dumb.]

[But Smoker loves you, so no judgement.]

[Well, a little.]

[But only as much as he has for himself.]

[Actually no, Smoker judges himself waaaaaaaaay more. So that's fine.]

[Taste some scrambled eggs.]

Are you sure they weren't just... being your friends? [Then again, Smoker literally never realized Rosi/Kuzan was half a thing even when Kuzan talked to him about it, so no, don't ask Smoker this shit.] It is very difficult to see you as a mother of anything. Marco, sure. You? No. You'd make a fine skateboarder Dad though.

So Papyrus gave you the doll right after rescuing you from the island? That's some pretty fucked up timing. He'd fit in the marines well.

[Eggs! Ace eats with as much gusto as he usually does, pausing to speak to Smoker again. Don't mind the eggs on his face. He's adorable, he's devoted, but his manners are less than stellar. It's something that just has to be accepted, like his general dumbassery.]

No, Papyrus said when they have kids! [He didn't. Ace was drunk. It's awkward regardless.] Like, together. I don't wanna think about which one of 'em is gonna have the kids. [Ace nods at the mother thing.] I don't know anything about that. I don't skateboard. But it was an insult to how manly I am. [Ace's ideas of masculinity and gender feelings are complicated as fuck. And no dolls are allowed to call mama, okay thanks much.] He was saving it for me, I guess. I fucked up and admitted I'm scared of hurting a baby. So this is what he ended up doing.

[He's very cute, Smoker loves him.]

Portgas, I'm pretty sure a skeleton and angel can no more reproduce than you and I can.

[Smoker goes quiet for a moment, puts some of the french toast on, and then just hugs Ace very tightly.] You wouldn't. You were able to handle StrawHat and I think most people would have killed him a billion times over. You're Whitebeard's son. Through and through. That means you'd be a fine father if you ever want to be. Because you know how to better than you think. And I'll help. [Nudges his head to Ace's.] Puppy first.

Yeah, maybe! But all sorts of weird stuff happens that's not supposed to. Back home and here. So who knows what kinda stupid shit they could accomplish?

[Ace clings into the hug, fingers tight into the fabric of Smoker's jacket. It's been a long, long day. And he needs the reassurance as much as he needs the sleep he'll get soon.] I really hurt him badly when I was little. So it's not like I was good to him at first. [Ace sighs. And then yawns.] Yeah... Puppy first. I want a cute one. [All puppies are cute, of course. But he wants one that's especially cute.]

By that logic, you or I could get pregnant too.

[Ace might not have thought through the implications of his thoughts, but Smoker did not think through the effects of his own statement. Clearly. But he follows it up with stuffing french toast in Ace's mouth, so maybe that will help.]

Everyone hurts each other without meaning to sometimes. And sometimes with meaning to. It's not never hurting someone else that makes you a good person. It's how you get over it and make it up to them. You made him tough enough to handle even me. I don't think anyone could do better than that.

Okay, a cute one. [But Smoker isn't dumb enough to take Ace to puppy prison and risk Ace deciding all 50 dogs and puppies were theirs. It was expensive enough doing the house thing once.]

Wha-

[Suddenly everything is fucked up and Ace is literally choking on french toast. The idea of either of them managing such a horrific thing is enough that he literally sputters, tears streaming down his face and his nose is running and good job Smoker. You nearly killed your boyfriend with one sentence and a piece of french toast.

Choke.

Choke.

Hack.

Swallow.]

[Gonna just wipe his snotty, tear stained face off on Smoker's shirt, no big deal.]

Okay. I love you. I'd die for you. I'd do whatever you asked of me but if you ever wanna stick it in me again don't say shit like that. I was almost toast. [French... toast.]

I think it's time for bed. [Tonight has been too wild of a ride after all.]

Fuck.

Sorry, Portgas. Ace... you're not going to get pregnant. And neither will I.

[Scoops up his dumbass all bridal style this time.] I'm pretty sure people can't get pregnant here, not even women. Because I've been here four years, and the only way people come is with pendants. And you wouldn't be born with one. You with me?

Edited 2019-09-22 18:41 (UTC)

I'm too drunk for life right now.

[Oh, this is nice. Ace will take being scared so badly that he chokes on french toast any day if it means he gets carried about like this. Hell yes, this makes up for the fright.] I dunno anything right now. But it's okay. I don't have to. I'm going to bed. [Ace shakes his head, and then part of his face ignites for a moment. He's getting really good about cleaning himself through flames, especially if he doesn't want to take the time to do something like brush his teeth when he just wants to pass out.]

That's right, we're going to bed. You don't have to do anything, but rest and sleep.

Good Portgas, cheer up the freckles. [Kisses his cheeks to cheer up the freckles, apparently.]

[Audio] + [Action]

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

1/3

2/3

3/3

no subject

no subject

no subject

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)