01 - Painting the Town Red [Video]

[zangief_the_red]

[The camera comes on and reveals rather a lot of chest hair at first. Then it pans up to a face studying it.]

First I wake up in egg, and have to fight my way out like baby bird. Angry baby bird. Then I find money, and am in strange place. This much I can accept. I have had stranger nights.

[He looks around, snorting]

But this is not the sort where one simply has more vodka, finishes bar fight, then wanders home.

This is a strange place.

[There is a long silence, then a grin]

So, who do I have to reduce to a paste to get home, eh? And, until then, I require a large bed. A shack or cabin will be enough.

[He looks at the money again]

Also job. I am good at fighting things, breaking things, and making things. Also, I am Zangief.

Comments

[filchedfruit]

Oh...

[ That's quite a lot to take in. He recently lost relatives to cannons made by Russians. Even he can notice how effective they are at getting the nomadic clans to fight each other. Russian conquest is not surprising. ]

Yeah, we generally prefer the freedom of roaming with the herds and living off the land.

[ Learning that Russian rule isn't permanent helps.]

My name's Joruk.

[ No point in keeping a grudge against a guy from future generations. Especially one this huge.]

[zangief_the_red]

I am Zangief! And that is a good way of life, noble!

[He sighs]

Ah, but I do miss the old days. Everyone together in fraternal, equal union! We made the world need new pants whenever we blew our noses, ha ha!

[filchedfruit]

It's a lot of work. There's some advantages to all this future stuff, like electric lights and indoor plumbing.

[ He's not as prideful as his clan elders.]

Not surprising.