[Her gaze seems unreadable at first, but it's clear there's still hurt and sadness. Part of her wanted to just say sorry and walk out of the coffee shop... Part of her wanted to through her hands in the air and give up. But the part that was more dominate told her to not back down or give up. But how could she do that when she didn't like hurting Jean in the process too.]
You know.... Maybe I don't know a thing...? I mean... I'm not as close to him as you were... but I know if I had ever died and people were acting strangely around me but wouldn't tell me why... Or they would say it wasn't me but just something they were dealing with themselves, I'd still feel like it had to do something with me in the end...
I'd want to know, because it's easier to deal with a shit situation -- no matter how painful it is -- than it is to just pretend that people acting strangely around me is normal. And if I were in his shoes.... If I found out later on that it had happened, but everyone knew about it this entire time... I'd feel hurt that nobody told me something that important. I'd wonder if it's because they don't trust me when that's not the case.
[Finally looking back to his face.]
But you know what? I'm not Marco so I can't speak for him. I know you're mad at Armin right now, but when I heard he'd been murdered before and hurt on more than a few occasions.... I wanted to hunt whoever did it down. It was because Armin asked me specifically not to because it wasn't something the people actually wanted to do that I let it go.
Honestly.... I've told you about how I felt about this, but I still feel terrible for not being there for him when he needed me the most. In the end though, I can deal with all of this better knowing it now and it's not easy but I have to do the best I can.
Who said you actually have to tell him the gruesome details? Sure he might ask if you told him about his death, but you can leave things out, you know. But what do I know? You know him better than I do, so I guess I have no room to speak.
[She didn't even realize her shaking or even those tears in the corner of her eyes until one rolled down her cheek. Quickly realizing it, she wiped it away.]
I guess I just... can't keep things from becoming serious like this... I'm sorry.
[The door. She needed to get to the door. Her Flight or Fight instincts were telling her to run this time.. She knew she shouldn't but she's done enough damage, hasn't she? She never intended on all of this.... And her mental state wasn't exactly the clearest right now.]
no subject
You know.... Maybe I don't know a thing...? I mean... I'm not as close to him as you were... but I know if I had ever died and people were acting strangely around me but wouldn't tell me why... Or they would say it wasn't me but just something they were dealing with themselves, I'd still feel like it had to do something with me in the end...
I'd want to know, because it's easier to deal with a shit situation -- no matter how painful it is -- than it is to just pretend that people acting strangely around me is normal. And if I were in his shoes.... If I found out later on that it had happened, but everyone knew about it this entire time... I'd feel hurt that nobody told me something that important. I'd wonder if it's because they don't trust me when that's not the case.
[Finally looking back to his face.]
But you know what? I'm not Marco so I can't speak for him. I know you're mad at Armin right now, but when I heard he'd been murdered before and hurt on more than a few occasions.... I wanted to hunt whoever did it down. It was because Armin asked me specifically not to because it wasn't something the people actually wanted to do that I let it go.
Honestly.... I've told you about how I felt about this, but I still feel terrible for not being there for him when he needed me the most. In the end though, I can deal with all of this better knowing it now and it's not easy but I have to do the best I can.
Who said you actually have to tell him the gruesome details? Sure he might ask if you told him about his death, but you can leave things out, you know. But what do I know? You know him better than I do, so I guess I have no room to speak.
[She didn't even realize her shaking or even those tears in the corner of her eyes until one rolled down her cheek. Quickly realizing it, she wiped it away.]
I guess I just... can't keep things from becoming serious like this... I'm sorry.
[The door. She needed to get to the door. Her Flight or Fight instincts were telling her to run this time.. She knew she shouldn't but she's done enough damage, hasn't she? She never intended on all of this.... And her mental state wasn't exactly the clearest right now.]