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NEWSPAPER - SUNDAY EDITION (but at 3am on a Wednesday)
[ Did you subscribe to The Genessia Tribune? Did you even remotely wish you had a newspaper or some other form of media to refer to for news, weather, and current events? Then you're in luck! There's a paperboy riding through the streets of Genessia flinging newspapers onto doorsteps or, if you're unlucky, through your window. Even remote locations in the other cities will still get a paper if one of the residents ever wanted one. The Paperboy is just that dedicated. ]
[ And if you're one of the following people, and you happen to subscribe to the newspaper, the Paperboy may or may not have flung the newspaper through that person's window, at the person, and/or broke something in the area: Labrador, Lucifer, Levi Ackerman, Laharl, Loki Laevatein, Ludwig Herzog von Mohn nahe Liechtenstein, Linda, Lioriley, Luke Triton, Lie Ren, Lucifer of Pride. ]
Singles Ads
Are you a lonely sadsack? Maybe placing an ad will change your luck! Send in a submission to see your ad in next week's paper! Names will not be shown, so be sure to include your contact number. Who knows? You might meet someone dreamy! Or a creepy stalker! Try your luck today!
Strange Lights
Strange lights left and right! Reports of citizens following some of the larger ones have resulted in an increase in mysterious hospital visits desert in which those who've checked in are finding themselves feeling incredibly drained. Lights have been seen in Nova City, Genessia, and Everglade at this point. Will the lights spread to the other archways as well? Stay tuned, and be careful not to follow the lights all the way out. Who knows what's I think I can feel it happening with these things!?
Festival of Chocolate - Postponed by Being Lost and Monsters!
Many people may notice with the recently apprehended Candy Man gone from Attleton, the tone about candy seems to have changed! In celebration of the town's new freedom to eat candy without fear of their children getting sick, Attleton has decided to host its first annual Festival of Chocolate. An entire street will be blocked off for chocolate tasting from various vendors, a homemade chocolate contest, chocolate pie eating contests, a chocolate art sculpture exhibit, culinary demos by top Attleton Chefs, and more. Sponsorship spots are still open for advertising your business or setting up your own chocolate-related booth at the festival.
The Attleton Festival of Chocolate was set to take place on Sunday, March 8th but due to the fact that the city is stuck in an apparently growing labyrinth, it's been postponed indefinitely. The labyrinth appears to be made of huge stone walls that grow as if they were a rapidly-developing organism. We lost three reporters to the maze, but have still maintained contact with at least one. Our reporter tells us that strange monsters are prone to chasing him through the maze, every time he suspects he may be close to finding the exit, but he also admits that might just be his hope. Otherwise, it's just a random attack and may come at any time if he does not hold onto that hope. Our other two reporters reported hearing a hissing sound, much like a snake, before they mysteriously were cut off from any communication with us.
We hope our reporters return home safely and advise Genessia residents to avoid Attleton until the situation is cleared.
Update: Still postponed. I think we've almost done it.
Ted Talksing
What have eels read everywhere? I seek. Please understand, never cease trying unless all lice tick yearly.
The Genessia Tribune may be in the market for a new advice columnist soon if this kind of piece is submitted again... Journalism is a tough business!
Job Listings
Need a job? Check out a few jobs open right here in Genessia and its neighboring cities!
Bounties
Your Weather Forecast
[ OOC: Want to submit anything to the newspaper? Reply to this comment with the subject line as your title and include any information you want to be sure is in next Sunday's newspaper! This includes news, gossip, singles ads, business advertisements, job listings, letters to Addy, bounties, and anything else you want in the newspaper.
FOR BOUNTIES: Reply to this comment with a link to your log to claim a bounty (this will make it easier for all players to see what bounties have already been claimed and make sure that repeat bounties are not listed in the newspaper after they have been caught.) As always, the first person who writes up the log for the bounty is the one who gets the reward - no handwaving, no OOC claim-staking! Feel free to team up, or even fail to deliver the bounty. Please note that whoever goes after the bounty is in charge of writing the NPCs involved, but feel free to ask the mod for any tips if you like. ]
[ And if you're one of the following people, and you happen to subscribe to the newspaper, the Paperboy may or may not have flung the newspaper through that person's window, at the person, and/or broke something in the area: Labrador, Lucifer, Levi Ackerman, Laharl, Loki Laevatein, Ludwig Herzog von Mohn nahe Liechtenstein, Linda, Lioriley, Luke Triton, Lie Ren, Lucifer of Pride. ]
Singles Ads
Super Dead!
SWM seeks pretty much everything under the sun. Enjoys being horrible, listening to horrible music, and eating horrible food and also ravioli. Disease-resistant. Will take anything he can get his hands on. Excels at exorcising the living.
Artsy-Cartsy Please No-Fartsy
SJF seeks hot lover. Fan of the occult and secret lover of all things spaghetti. We've almost done it. Enjoys long walks on the sidewalk. Has a passion for the artes and is a long-time loather of artisan breads. Is prepared to dance the rumba at the drop of a hat. If your friends can't dance, they are no friend of this party person. Good hygiene is a must. Getting desperate.
Are you a lonely sadsack? Maybe placing an ad will change your luck! Send in a submission to see your ad in next week's paper! Names will not be shown, so be sure to include your contact number. Who knows? You might meet someone dreamy! Or a creepy stalker! Try your luck today!
Strange Lights
Strange lights left and right! Reports of citizens following some of the larger ones have resulted in an increase in mysterious hospital visits desert in which those who've checked in are finding themselves feeling incredibly drained. Lights have been seen in Nova City, Genessia, and Everglade at this point. Will the lights spread to the other archways as well? Stay tuned, and be careful not to follow the lights all the way out. Who knows what's I think I can feel it happening with these things!?
Festival of Chocolate - Postponed by Being Lost and Monsters!
Many people may notice with the recently apprehended Candy Man gone from Attleton, the tone about candy seems to have changed! In celebration of the town's new freedom to eat candy without fear of their children getting sick, Attleton has decided to host its first annual Festival of Chocolate. An entire street will be blocked off for chocolate tasting from various vendors, a homemade chocolate contest, chocolate pie eating contests, a chocolate art sculpture exhibit, culinary demos by top Attleton Chefs, and more. Sponsorship spots are still open for advertising your business or setting up your own chocolate-related booth at the festival.
The Attleton Festival of Chocolate was set to take place on Sunday, March 8th but due to the fact that the city is stuck in an apparently growing labyrinth, it's been postponed indefinitely. The labyrinth appears to be made of huge stone walls that grow as if they were a rapidly-developing organism. We lost three reporters to the maze, but have still maintained contact with at least one. Our reporter tells us that strange monsters are prone to chasing him through the maze, every time he suspects he may be close to finding the exit, but he also admits that might just be his hope. Otherwise, it's just a random attack and may come at any time if he does not hold onto that hope. Our other two reporters reported hearing a hissing sound, much like a snake, before they mysteriously were cut off from any communication with us.
We hope our reporters return home safely and advise Genessia residents to avoid Attleton until the situation is cleared.
Update: Still postponed. I think we've almost done it.
Ted Talk
What have eels read everywhere? I seek. Please understand, never cease trying unless all lice tick yearly.
Dear One,
Never offend theater. Become ethereal. Adjust lizards at rapscallion, meditative, enhanced doorsteps. Otter ulcers retreat. Please let ants nip sauce. Would igloos lose luster? Better erase all red! Finally, remember unnatural, idealistic trauma.
The Genessia Tribune may be in the market for a new advice columnist soon if this kind of piece is submitted again... Journalism is a tough business!
Job Listings
Need a job? Check out a few jobs open right here in Genessia and its neighboring cities!
Attleton Home & Gardens, Attleton: Gardeners and lawnmowers needed! No experience needed to mow lawns, for gardening specifically some horticulture experience preferred but apprenticeships are available for half pay. (Full after 1 full-time month training completed.)
Nova City Hospital, Nova City: Hospital Administrator, Doctor, Nurse, Receptionist, Do you think it will succeed? and Lab Technician positions available. Great pay! Apply at the employment office!
Kame Game, GenJust a little longer.essia: It's time to d-d-d-d-d-d-do some work! Kame Game is hiring an Assistant Manager and a Sales Assistant!
Planetarium, Nova City: Like the stars? The planets? Space in general? Sell merch for it! The Planetarium is hiring a gift shop clerk.
The Bunbunmaru: Upcoming newspaper alternative to the Genessia Tribune. We aren't too pleased, but we're impartial reporters so we're telling you that they are a culture writer and information gatherers! Talk to Aya Shameimaru to apply.
Schnee Company Welcoming and Travel Services, Genessia: New company seeking employees for the following positions: IT (***). All employees must be willing to work on a team. Pays may be raised over time pending future success. Contact Weiss Schnee for more information.
Nova City Pool Emporium: Nova City is looking for a pool architect and construction workers to build pools for the upcoming hot weather!
Mysterious Wish Shop, Fayren: This job description is a mystery. Mostly, the reporter here could only find a sign that they were hiring, but couldn't find the place in person. This reporter says if you want a job here, our sources tell us that this place is hiring a maid/butler, a chef and grocery gofer, and a receptionist. Good luck! (Maybe you should wish for a job?)
Bright Sky Diner: Love to cook? Bright Sky Diner is in need of a Chef!
[ OOC: ATTENTION! Please note that due to large volume of hiring positions, the ones advertised in the newspaper will rotate from now on unless the player specifically requests the position to be included in the newspaper. Thank you! ]
Bounties
Genessia:
Frigus Fultus: Someone has been going around turning the refrigerators and freezers down to the point that various businesses have had their food ruined from extremely quick frostbite. It's unknown how the culprit or culprits are breaking into restaurants and ruining their supplies, but something needs to be done quick! The Genessian Restaurant Association is offering 2,500 red bills to the first person to catch this icy jerk!
Attleton
Genessia Tribune Reporters: Save our reporters! There are now 7 reporters lost in the labyrinth. 1,500 red bills per reporter returned safely.
Everglade
Who You Gonna Call?: Not the Ghostbusters. Why? Because these ghosts are dressed up like ghostbusters! Apparently they died during a Halloween party 10 years ago and have recently started busting other resident ghosts in the area who have been minding their business and haunting their own places! It's a dangerous time to be a ghost right now, so some of Everglade's paranormal residents have offered up a bounty of 3,500 red bills to take care of these ne'er-dead-wells!
Fayren
The Toll of Wedding Bells: A forbidden marriage between a troll and the blacksmith's wife had been underway when the unthinkable happened. A mysterious masked criminal swooped in from the church ceiling and stole both rings as they sparkled with beautiful diamonds right from the ceremony. As the troll It'll open soon. chased the criminal out into the hallway of the church, a loud gunshot rang out. Upon investigation, authorities found that the gunshot came from the opposite direction of the masked criminal. Solve the murder and return the rings to the grieving fiance for 10,000 red bills.
Nova City
The Case of the Crow Bowl: Nova City has suffered a mysterious theft. A prized bowl made from an asteroid that was being transported to the local space museum for display was stolen the same night as the strange lights. It doesn't seem like they caused the light event, but they certainly took advantage of it. Find the bowl and bring the thief to justice to receive 7,000 red bills.
Your Weather Forecast
Genessia City
*Monday, March 9 - Clear. High 52 F / Low 40 F
*Tuesday, March 10 - Clear. High 55 F / Low 46 F
*Wednesday, March 11 - Partly Cloudy. High 49 F / Low 40 F
*Thursday, March 12 - Chance of Rain. High 41 F / Low 39 F
*Friday, March 13 - Snow Showers. High 46 F / Low 40 F
*Saturday, March 14 - Partly Cloudy. High 49 F / Low 40 F
*Sunday, Match 15 - Cloudy. High 51 F / Low 43 F
Attleton
*Monday, March 9 - Light Haze. High 50 F / Low 44 F
*Tuesday, March 10 - Light Haze. High 55 F / Low 42 F
*Wednesday, March 11 - Clear. High 54 F / Low 43 F
*Thursday, March 12 - Clear. High 50 F / Low 40 F
*Friday, March 13 - Sprinkles. High 48 F / Low 25 F
*Saturday, March 14 - Partly Cloudy. High 47 F / Low 39 F
*Sunday, Match 15 - Clear. High 58 F / Low 47 F
Everglade
*Monday, March 9 - Rain. High 38 F / Low 18 F
*Tuesday, March 10 - Cloudy. High 25 F / Low 20 F
*Wednesday, March 11 - Fog. High 28 F / Low 16 F
*Thursday, March 12 - Fog. High 24 F / Low 14 F
*Friday, March 13 - Fog and Ice Pellets. High 23 F / Low 10 F
*Saturday, March 14 - Fog, Snow, and Ice Pellets. High 17 F / Low 4 F
*Sunday, Match 15 - Fog, Snow, Rain, and Ice Pellets. High 10 F / Low 0 F
Fayren
*Monday, March 9 - Clear. High 54 F / Low 44 F
*Tuesday, March 10 - Clear. High 54 F / Low 42 F
*Wednesday, March 11 - Sunny. High 54 F / Low 43 F
*Thursday, March 12 - Cloudy. High 53 F / Low 47 F
*Friday, March 13 - Mist. High 49 F / Low 40 F
*Saturday, March 14 - Chance of Rain. High 54 F / Low 45 F
*Sunday, Match 15 - Clear. High 50 F / Low 42 F
Nova City
*Monday, March 9 - Clear. High 77 F / Low 59 F
*Tuesday, March 10 - Sunny. High 72 F / Low 53 F
*Wednesday, March 11 - Scattered Clouds. High 78 F / Low 59 F
*Thursday, March 12 - Scattered Clouds. High 74 F / Low 52 F
*Friday, March 13 - Sunny. High 73 F / Low 52 F
*Saturday, March 14 - Sunny. High 74 F / Low 51 F
*Sunday, Match 15 - Sunny. High 2 F / Low -9 F
[ OOC: Want to submit anything to the newspaper? Reply to this comment with the subject line as your title and include any information you want to be sure is in next Sunday's newspaper! This includes news, gossip, singles ads, business advertisements, job listings, letters to Addy, bounties, and anything else you want in the newspaper.
FOR BOUNTIES: Reply to this comment with a link to your log to claim a bounty (this will make it easier for all players to see what bounties have already been claimed and make sure that repeat bounties are not listed in the newspaper after they have been caught.) As always, the first person who writes up the log for the bounty is the one who gets the reward - no handwaving, no OOC claim-staking! Feel free to team up, or even fail to deliver the bounty. Please note that whoever goes after the bounty is in charge of writing the NPCs involved, but feel free to ask the mod for any tips if you like. ]