XI ✖ ＫＩＬＬ 【Video | Action】

[inhisdebt]

                   V I D E O ;

[Mikasa seemed a little bit exhausted, but working two jobs could do that to a person; especially since Mikasa has gotten a nasty habit of working a lot by choice. But to anyone who knows her well enough, they should know that despite overworking herself, this kind of exhaustion seems... different.]

Has anyone seen Jean around? I've been looking for him for a while now and I can't find him. He's not answering his communicator and I haven't seen him at work....

If anyone knows, please let me know. Thanks.

[And despite the brave front that she's putting on, those who know her well enough might be able to tell that she's obviously worried.]

                   A C T I O N ;

[After spending all day -- if not longer -- searching for Jean, she finally returned home. She didn't bother speaking to anyone, but instead she retired to her room right away. All of her emotions were finally catching up to her now that she was home and in her own room. She just wanted to break down after trying to stay strong all day.

It was obvious by now.Jean was gone. He wouldn't have been gone for this long without talking to her or the others at some point. He would have let them in on what he was doing or where he was, but there was nothing from him. Flopping down on her bed, she didn't exactly do much. Even if her emotions were welling up inside, it was as if they wanted to come out, but didn't know who.

That's when a small creature came over to see what was going on with her. Chespin was curious to see what her owner was doing, or therefore lack of. As if trying to comfort her, she slowly came over to her and nuzzled her leg. Mikasa glanced down to her pokemon and let out a sigh as she picked her up.]

Are you trying to comfort me? Thanks, I appreciate it.

[And there it was. Those tears building up in the corner of her eyes. She didn't want him to leave, but it was just like Eren. Eren left unannounced, but that was the nature of this place.]

Tell me... Is it worth getting close to someone if all that's going to happen is that they're going to leave you behind?

[A question more-or-less to no one in general. A train of thought that escaped from her mind if you will.]

OOC: Feel free to bug her in person too if you find a way/reason to.]

Comments

Video

[spitfireprincess]

Ah! I don't think I know him but...

[Sakura turns on her phone looking a little worried. She was told that people disappear.]

What's he look like? I'll keep a look out!

Video

[inhisdebt]

He has short blonde hair and uses gear like this.

[Showing her own gear that she had on, she also decided to wear her old Scout military uniform today]

Though I don't know if he used it here much just yet.

attack on action tagging by big sis figure

[scoutingangel]

[Petra is about to knock on Mikasa's door, when she hears the question.

...Fuck knocking. She's too worried about her, so let's throw being polite out of the window for a moment. So she walks in a few steps, preparing to either leave if the girl wants her to leave or shut the door if she appreciates human company too.]

It's... More than worth it if you ask me... Even everything back home considered.

[Don't ask how many close friends have left her behind before expedition 57th... No reason to ask how Petra feels about leaving everyone behind during that, Mikasa saw it on this girl's first day here. Yes, it's obvious what's going on here, she's not going to ask who left now.]

Sorry, I just happened to hear that and -- [rushed in without manners, no big deal, Mikasa is important to her, okay.] I can leave if you don't want company.

[Will she actually go even when she says that might be the real question. But you know, she can also continue / talk more if Mikasa wants that and hugs instead.]

Thanks big sis ;-;

[inhisdebt]

[Mikasa wasn't expecting the sudden entrance -- though she should have -- but she jumped a bit looking to the door with Chespin on her lap. She didn't say anything at first. She opened her mouth to say something, but nothing came out so she closed it.

Petra would know. Maybe the question was insensitive for those who weren't still alive back home, but she also didn't expect anyone to hear it. She wanted to stop the tears and pretend she was okay, but she wasn't. It hurt. It hurt not having him around anymore. It hurt to not have the person she turned to the most besides Armin around anymore.

Everything just ached. So not even bothering to tell her to get out or do anything, she lowered her head, careful of Chespin's spikes.]

It's okay...

[scoutingangel]

[Petra closes the door as soon as Mikasa says that. Not that she really minds if anyone wants to hear what she might say to her, but if a closed door makes it feel better for the other girl... She's not sure, she doesn't really think about it any further.

She walks to sit on her bed and gently pets Mikasa's hair. She knows that pain well. Too well. Even here, because yes hello Eren leaving the only place where she could still see him and everything that's happened back home...]

We'll still have the memories of everything about them and our time together, those are important. [stating obvious things here, sorry, more coming up too.] And it is amazing to know that people love and care for each other so much, that's-- [ ... really important too? Or something, she swallows. Never an easy topic, she's lost so many great friends back home.]

It's excruciating, being left behind. Fucking exhausting and hurts like Hell every single time too, but I still think it's always been worth it.

[Hell might be a bad word for it maybe, when the world outside the walls is like hell, but well this girl here survived through that countless times unlike many others.]

[inhisdebt]

[Yes. Part of her wanted to insist she was okay. To insist that she didn't need to do this. But she wasn't okay and she didn't know why it hurt so badly. Considering before coming here, she mostly kept to Eren and Armin. Eren leaving made sense as to why it hurt so much, but Jean...? She didn't know.

Yes, it was obvious that he's become very important to her and the ache in her heart proved that. And then....]

Love...

[Was that it? To be honest, Mikasa didn't know what it was like to love anyone in any way besides family love and even that was limited.]

It hurts. Is this what love does?

[scoutingangel]

[She lets her Piplup out of her ball and onto the floor to see if Chespin wants to play with her now when Petra is here. Because hugs can be a little difficult with a pokemon between them but she can also wait with those if Chespin rather stays close to Mikasa right now.

Doesn't mean she's stopping with the hair petting anytime soon though. Love, huh?]

I'm sure you love and care for all of them a lot in different ways, whether it's romantic or platonic is -- for you to decide on your own.

[ ... Maybe she needs help with deciding that. Maybe not. Well, big sis is here to help with anything ever right now.

But that's what people like them do. Love and care. A lot. Whether it's Mikasa's silent and inexperienced way or Petra's uh, less silent and more knowing what she feels like way.]

...Yeah...

[ sorry, not even trying to deny it even if it's the worst time for Mikasa to realize it. ]

[inhisdebt]

[Hugs are difficult with Chespin on her lap, but she sees that Mikasa has someone here for her, so she was okay with hoping off and going to Piplup.]

Love... [Repeated but...] I... I don't know what that's like. Is it love? All I know is it hurts. I don't want him to leave. I didn't want either of them to leave.

It hurts.

[Now with tears rolling down her cheeks, why bother trying to hide it?]

[scoutingangel]

[Piplup looks happy to have company even if the mood in the room is not happy at all... LET'S PLAY SOMETHING! Hide & Seek or tag maybe, she's at least going to suggest those with Poke language since she's really not sure what else to do in Mikasa's room or near it even. Strange place for her.

And Petra is really not sure how to explain love to the other girl. But as soon as the pokemon is on the floor, she's wrapping her arms around Mikasa.]

Come here.

[A little too late to say it, since she's already hugging her but well, she can pull her closer after those gentle words!

Now then. How to define love? Romantic love, that is.]

I'm not an expert on it or anything, I don't even think that anyone is, but -- as for me it's about whether or not I'm attracted to them along with deep and strong emotional desires to them; like if I want to date and kiss them, it's what I'd call a crush. And once I get to know them better and feelings just grow stronger, then I'd call it love.

And it hurts. [Though she's more experienced on the losing friends thing than this but... well, same thing without romantic feelings on it, there's been a lot of love anyway.]

I'm so sorry. I didn't want them to leave either.

[inhisdebt]

[Chespin was more than happy to play something; Considering that Mikasa seems to be in good hands. Hide & Seek it is! Would you like to go first Piplup?

Meanwhile, despite not really having a choice in the matter of a hug, Mikasa didn't fight it or anything. She didn't say anything. Instead, she chose to just listen to what Petra had to say. She may not be an expert, but she knew more than Mikasa did.]

So that's what it was all this time.... And now it's too late to... I should have said something sooner... Or maybe I shouldn't have...?

[She set her head on the girl's shoulders, returning the hug with her own tight embrace. One that felt like if she let go, Petra would go too.]

[scoutingangel]

[Oh, Mikasa, this girl wouldn't go anywhere even if you let go of her. But she is happy for the affection and loves it, so definitely no need to let go or change anything. Petra holds her tighter and continues petting her hair, other hand doing the same to her back.]

No one really knows the answer to that, huh. [to say something sooner or to never say anything or to regret not having said anything... sigh.]

But you know, waffling on it is --- not good. It's the time that we spend with them, that matters even if not having said that or even realizing it before it's too late leaves us with regrets... [this happened too often back home too.] We just need to use the time we get in all the best ways we can...

[AND NOW SHE'S CRYING TOO, this is getting kind of really personal for a girl, who lost her best friends right before coming here. And who'd never see anyone outside here.]

Even without hearing it, I'm sure they know it even if they don't realize it themselves either. It's all really complicated. [Love, that is.]

[inhisdebt]

[Oh Petra.... weren't you here to cheer Mikasa up? It looks like Mikasa will just have to return the favor; though not like she had to be told to do that.]

I miss them so much. He knew about certain things that only Eren and Armin knew about... And he was always there when I felt lonely and needed someone to talk to. And.... he said he's teach me how to draw...

[And despite her tears, she did think of something else that she'd thought about ever since started to date Jean.]

I can't help but think about what Eren would say or how he'd react if he came back and then found out.

If I had told him that I was in love with Jean. [At least she said it, though she's had the idea for a while that it had to be something of the sort.]

[Action]

[lookprofessor]

[Luke was tired of people going home. Not because they couldn't leave--he himself ached to be home, and a part of him was outright jealous of those who left--but he was tired people just up and disappearing because it made everyone so sad.

Forget calling Mikasa. Or even going just to her house. He was her friend and he was going to see her with his own eyes and try and help her. Because he knew what it meant when someone suddenly didn't answer their communicator.

So Mikasa is going to hear a pebble against her window and a very quiet 'Miss Mikasa?' from the ground below, Luke peering up. He's a bit too shy of the others in the house to use the front door and he supposed she might want her privacy.

That or he hasn't thought his plan through. He is a teenage boy after all. One can only expect so much.]

[Action]

[inhisdebt]

[Sitting there on her bed with Chespin on her lap, she turned to the window once she heard the pebble. Setting Chespin down, she got up to see who it was. Luke. What was Luke doing here at this time of night? To be honest, Mikasa wasn't really in the mood to see anyone right now. Not with Jean leaving and talking to Petra. The anguish of a dear friend leaving was one thing, but the anguish of somebody you loved more than just friends was another. That grief that she never really told him.

But still... she couldn't just ignore him and this was Luke we were talking about. The boy who she come to think of as a brother of sorts. Turning away from the window, she wiped her tears from her eyes before going downstairs to see him. Not too long later, she finally opened the door, peering out to him.]

Luke...? What are you doing here?

[scoutingangel]

[She is here to cheer her up, but this is also hitting on a lot of personal levels. Though those personal levels are mostly old stuff, that she's used to dealing with every day, so -- nothing wrong with showing her feelings honestly, because one of them has to do that too for everyone else anytime.

Anyway, yes, priorities. She's here to cheer her up and not dwelling on her own feelings. So she's smiling at Mikasa's words.]

I know. I miss everyone too. And it's great to learn to trust someone else outside your usual people that much... You do know, that you can talk to me about whatever too?

[Because Mikasa could if she ever wants to. About anything, really. It's not like Petra is trying to intrude or come between anything, she's just trying to be there for her for anything.]

I'm sure he'd love to teach you how to draw if he ever comes back. Or you could learn from someone else before that and show him your skills on it then... But it'd be more fun for the both of you if he's the teacher.

[ .. Hmm. What would Eren say? Okay, is this her chance to try to amuse the sad girl somehow? Let's try--]

He'd probably ask are you seriously telling him, that you were in love with that horse face.

[SHE DOESN'T EVEN GET WHY YOU CALL JEAN THAT, but there, she's trying to amuse and not meaning is an insult because that name seems to be a thing among the 104s. Sorry, she only knew Eren for a little while and not for years like them.]

... Honestly, I'm not sure. I never knew about Eren, what he is going to do or say next. It's interesting.

[inhisdebt]

[Well, Mikasa will always do her best too... Maybe... just not right now?]

I know. Thank you, Petra. I really do appreciate that.

[And the fact that she could always go to Petra for whatever. It was nice to actually spend more time with her this entire time here.]

I... would rather learn from him so... I guess I'll just wait and hope that he comes back. Both of them. I'll check the Bay as much as possible to see if they both returned...

[But that does get a very faint smile through her tears.]

He would freak out, that's for sure, but they're both important to me. That's why... That's why I tried not to talk about Eren much in front of Jean because I knew how they both felt about each other.

[Too be fair, neither does Mikasa.... Why horse face of all things?]

[Action]

[lookprofessor]

[Causing trouble trying to help her feel better.

He has nothing to say, a hesitant frown on his face as he considers her for a moment. It's clear to him that Mikasa had been crying. Standing on the grass, Luke shuffles his feet for a moment. What would the Professor do? He had just wanted to ask if she was okay--maybe it would have been better just to call, but he really thought a phone call wouldn't count and didn't do enough, not when something like this happened.

So after considering what he'd do for a few seconds, he rushes the door before he can think any harder, moving fast enough that he can't redirect himself, and then throws his arms around her waist. Altogether this isn't a particularly tight or smothering hug, his head bowed and tucked into her stomach, fingers tangling into the fabric of her top.

His voice is muffled, but he's saying something anyway. What he's actually saying is "Mr. Jean went home and I thought you needed a hug, not just someone saying they were sorry." What's audible is more akin to:] Jean...home...hug.

[Action]

[inhisdebt]

[Mikasa was generally good at hiding her emotions.. At feeling numb to everything to avoid from the heart ache that would always be there. But she'd been so much more exposed to her emotions here and having to face them than she had back home.

So just when Mikasa finally held it together long enough to act like she was okay, Luke's hug through her off guard. She glanced down to him for a moment, trying to listen to what he was saying. She got the general gist of it, but there were those tears in the corner of her eyes again, as much as she tried to fight them.

He came to see her because he was worried for her.... Luke... Wrapping her arms around him softly as well finally, they shook slightly.]

Luke... You... came here because... [And then a pause.] Thank you...

[scoutingangel]

Hey, it's the least I can do. Besides we need to save Levi's ears from my rambling a little at least whenever we can.

[Lame joke because surely he rather listens to Petra's voice here as much as possible. But you know, she loves being social and getting to know people and spending time with everyone from home here where it's still possible is amazing. So no hesitation. From anyone. She'll actually, really talk with anyone whenever.]

Yeah, I figured you'd rather learn from him and we're all hoping for that. I'll help you check every day, okay? It's on the way from the company to the bakery anyway, so I tend to check it that often anyway.

[Faint smile is good. Her own smile grows a little wider when she sees that.]

He would, but I'm sure they both just want you to be happy with whoever you end up with and that should be the most important thing.

...Hahah, I guess you're actually a lot nicer than me on not talking about someone else in front of the person, who clearly has feelings for you.

[Coming from the girl, who devoted her whole life to Levi and then Oluo goes into the imitating thing and she just tells him to stop instead of shutting up about Levi herself in his company?? Yup, she didn't really consider the poor guy's feelings at all in her starry-eyed love for her captain.]

[inhisdebt]

[Mikasa nodded to that. It would be nice to have others check on it, but let's be real here. She's probably not the only one sad that one of their friends from home went back home. She's sure the others are probably doing something like what she was doing.]

It's more-or-less to keep the bad mood/arguing down to a minimum... But... I'm happy for you and Levi. That you can both be here together again.

You know how I feel about Levi myself, but I've been trying to get better about it. [Happy that someone else here from their world can actually be happy.]

video:

[halffreckled]

Jean's...gone missing? [ his voice catches in his throat. he hadn't seen him in a while but he figured that he had just been busy...with Mikasa. they hadn't talked or seen eachother for what felt like a really long time ]

I know how upset you are... B-But keep your chin up! He should be around here and he's probably just fine! There's...there's no way he left... [ not without the both of them... not back to a world where Marco was dead again... ]

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[spitfireprincess]

I'll keep a look out then!

[She smiles confidently.]

I'm sure we'll find him. You two must have been close.

[scoutingangel]

[She nods.]

Keeping it down to that is usually good. Not always, but most of the time in some cases at least.

Thanks, I'm really glad to hear both of those things. I know he can be a little -- or very -- difficult to understand, so if you ever need a Levi translator, I'm here for that too.

[That's what she used to do back home too. But she's not in this room to talk about Levi!]

Video; Private

[rulerofme]

Mikasa...

Is there anything I can do?

Video; Private

[inhisdebt]

If you could, could you see if you can track him?