001 | Accidental Video

[whatsbackup]

[ The why and the how, Ronan would focus on later. He was breathing, his clothes at seven bullet holes clean through them with dried blood clinging to the edges, but he didn't and he was in a cave.

So, the initial examination had given him some pretty startling information: someone had retrieved his body from the morgue, found a way to what? Resurrect him? Then they'd shoved him in a coffin with a cell phone and how-to manual, and stored his new bed in a cave somewhere.

He fiddled with the settings on the phone per the instructions, and accidentally turned on the video transmission as he continued to think out loud. His attention to detail was usually more thorough, but give a guy a break. He was dead the last time he checked. ]

...didn't even have the decency to give a man a change of clothes.

[ He shook his head and looked around for something in the pod he'd just vacated for a moment before reaching in and pulling out a weathered fedora and placing it on his head. ]

At least they remembered th- [ His eyes dart toward the communicator he'd set down, noticing the blinking. ] What do you know? I did get it working.

[ He runs a hand over his face before he picks up the device, giving a slight, if-lopsided, smile. ]

I can only assume there's others out there, right? Why give a man a cell phone if there's nobody to receive it? [ He rubbed at his eyes with a free hand, then begins patting first the clear side of his chest, then the side with the bullet holes before reaching into a pocket with a hole in it and retrieving a box of ruined cigarettes. ] Really? Come on. [ He shakes his head and looks back to the feed. ]

My name's Ronan O'Connor. I'm a detective with the Salem Police Department...in...Salem, Massachusetts. Tell me that rings a bell with somebody.

[ And, more directly, as though something suddenly occurs to him. ]

Can any of you even see me?

Comments

[youfool]

"Ah, I see what you mean. Well, to start, there's two kinds. The spirits, who are more or less the leaders, and...mm, those without necklaces. The latter don't vote or stray much from their routines. Their lack of suffrage doesn't seem to bother them too much, though they can be stubborn if the status quo goes challenged.

The former; the spirits, are inscrutable. They don't appear malicious and have in investment in the safety of the world, but beyond that...impossible to say. I think they communicate to us through the CPU; a kind of impersonal broadcast that belts out PSA's and whatnot. Said CPU also manages the elections, though the candidates and whomever votes for them are comprised entirely of us. That is to say, those with necklaces." Man, this is a lot to go through for every new person here. Someone should write a guidebook or something.

[whatsbackup]

So, this place is lead by a council of spirits that manage it, but don't take any direct role in anything we do here? Why? Has anyone ever talked to them?

[Be alive again, Ronan finds himself wondering if he could even see them. When he was a spirit himself, that was one thing.]

...are you running again? You said there's an election in a couple months.

[youfool]

"Yes, I believe so. As for what they do directly and indirectly, it's difficult to separate into water-tight compartments. A few people seem to have spoken to them, but that's something of a rarity. Perhaps those who have been around longer than I can regale you with other choice encounters, but those are the only ones I know. I've been around for about a year, if that interests you.

And yes, I am! Well, unless I get repeatedly assassinated or the city becomes so righteous that it floats like a balloon to be appended to the kingdom of heaven. Hopefully the former can be dodged."

[whatsbackup]

Who's she? The girl talking to one of the spirits? [He'd really like to talk to her if he can.]

...you're not looking for any deputies, are you? [Because I think I might be here for a while.]

[youfool]

"A lot of girls talked to them, judging by that post. At least 3. If you're talking about the OP, Yuna, I'm afraid she's vanished, likely for good." His expression went from a little glum to grin. "Yes, as it happens. Always will be, so long as there's no laws against it. Which, seeing as I'm the Guardian, won't be happening any time soon. Is that just natural, detective curiosity, or...?"

[whatsbackup]

Vanished for good? [That doesn't sound good.] That happens? I thought we were all trapped here. That's what you said.

[A pause.]

Something like that. It looks like I'm going to be here for a while.

[youfool]

"Did I say 'trapped'? Huh. Not like me to put a negative spin on it like that. But yes, people do occasionally 'leave', though whether they make it back home, or else have a stranger fate, is impossible to say. The ones who disappear on us tend to lose their will to live, in some form or another. Maybe they succumb to despair. Maybe they feel like they've done all they can here. Maybe they just get bored.

In any case, exiting through those doors is an unenviable way to go; it's better to live meaningfully. Heh, obviously." He cleared his throat.

"Mr. O'Connor, I must have you be very clear about this. Are you saying you wish to become my deputy? It's not something to be taken lightly." Ted takes it lightly all the time, but he's trying to to be official and grave.

[whatsbackup]

You didn't have to. [Can't leave and can only check on home through some weird dream machine pretty much said that, buddy.] ...Jesus. There's a lot of unknowns around here, huh?

[At that, he smirks.] I always take my job seriously. [Seriously enough to get me killed. I might run in half-cocked, but I do it to protect people.]

[youfool]

"Hah, well I doubt you've ever taken a job quite like this one. Let me run down a list of work-related hazards, off the top of my head, just so you know what you're getting in to:

Vampires
The Undead
Rotten produce launched by a grouchy populace
Necromancers (they're a big concern at the moment)
Werewolves
Ghosts and ghoulies
And other things that go bump in the night.

There are amenities to combat all of this, however. Silver bullets and such. Should you accept I'll have one of the other deputies draw up a list, and we'll go shopping. And if that doesn't scare you off, there's also a rigorous battery to pass so that I may ascertain your mental agility."

[whatsbackup]

[He nods. He doesn't even look surprised.]

So, buddy. Confession time. About five hours ago, I was thrown out of a 3rd story window, then the guy who threw me, came downstairs, took my gun, and shot be in the chest seven times before I had a chance to pull myself off the ground. Since then, I've been wandering around Salem trying to figure out why. I've met more than a few ghosts, demons, and a medium. I'll believe whatever you want.

[youfool]

"You will? Excellent; believe in Christianity, first and foremost, and then in my supreme competency as Guardian. That will do for a start.

Ah, good that you're familiar. Seven bullets? That number exactly? Hmm. There's something significant about that, I'm sure; signifies completeness. I'm tempted to go back with you and see that mystery out for myself, but alas, we've got more than enough mysteries on our own hands.

Well, the content of Everglade gives you no trouble. Now all that remains is to test your detective intellect. Answer these questions as soon as I ask; you will be graded on time." He cleared his throat, then began rapidly.

What do you do at a red light? What do you do at a red light? What do you do at a red light? What do you do at a green light?"

[whatsbackup]

Unless you can see ghosts, you'd have a hard time helping me out.

[That was the biggest problem he'd found himself running into recently, but he jumps on answering the questions.]

Stop, stop, stop, and go, unless you're wanting details about how long you're supposed to pause, and whether or not I'm taking a right on red.

[youfool]

"Hah, rain check on your adventures, then. I've seen plenty of ghosts, perhaps more than anyone my age has a right to. Even own two of them as pets, if you can believe it."

He opened his eyes a bit more, clearly impressed. "Darn, thought I had you there. Mentally alert and privy to the ways of law. You'll fit right in. All right, there's just one more thing to do before orientation: meet with the other deputies. Just so I can verify that you'll all get along. Wouldn't want to induce any fractures in our fantastic family. They are, in order of recruitment: Levy McGarden, Porrim Maryam, and Marie...Calendars? Marie...Marie something. Oh well, drop by the office and I'm sure you'll find her. You'll know it's her by the torrent of verbiage." Spoken like someone with slacking self-awareness.

[whatsbackup]

Pets? That's rude. Ghosts are people too, you know.

[He nods, and eyebrow raised at his explanation.]

She talks a lot, huh? Yeah, she'll stick out like a sore thumb. [He nods.] Everglade, right?

[youfool]

"Hah! Don't I know it. They're not that kind of ghost, you cad, they're--well, it'd be easier to explain once you meet them. If you have the constitution for it; they can be a little rascally. And yes, it is indeed Everglade. You're already making brilliant deductions. I look forward to the moment when you put Conan Doyle to shame."

[whatsbackup]

[He pinches the bridge of his nose.]

Ghosts have kinds now?

[He chuckles slightly.]

That shouldn't be hard. Doyle already knew the ending.

[youfool]

It surprised me too. But yes, they come in nice and not-so-nice, for starters. And I only know half the ending, but I'm reasonably confident it all ends well. Drop in as soon as you have the time.

(OOC: And that's his final word on the matter, now get a job you bum! Feel free to meet up with his haremcoworkers at any point, like say, this thread.)