Video;

[gammavirginis]

[ Porrim should be a pretty well-known face around Genessia by now, especially around Everglade, but there were always new people around and despite being a busybody, she couldn't meet everyone in the cities. So for those who hadn't met her in person yet, here was a lady with grey skin, candy-corn horns, and plenty of piercings and tattoos, wearing a jet black dress. ]

Excuse me, would anyone here know what a 'homonculus' is? Someone asked me a question about them, and whether they count as necromancy, and I'm trying to answer it, but I haven't heard of the term before.

Comments

[aphotic_auror]

Oi, Porrim... You could've just asked inside the office you know...

Of course, then you wouldn't have been able to show your smiling face to the world here, would you...?

[She grins slyly at the other young deputy, even as she attempts to smother her smirk.]

Anyway, homunculus. Yes, it's Latin for "little man"-- like a dwarf human, just add water to grow your own fully-adult man! [Sorry, she pauses to snerk at the very idea of it, for a moment.] I mean, of course, it isn't necromancy in the most traditional meaning of the word, but-- well. As I understand it, I believe there's a branch of Alchemy dedicated to actually creating those "little men"-- of the "just-add-water" sort, or otherwise...

So... yeah, I'll leave that up to Ted, of course, 'cause he's the boss, but-- I'd say that there is something rather skeevy about that whole business... So.... Yeah...

[She blinks innocently into the video camera, of course, at the end of this tirade against "alchemical practises".] Well, boss? DO you agree?

[gammavirginis]

Oh, I didn't know you were well versed in that kind of thing, Maria. I'll be sure to use you as a resource in the future.

[Private, you gossiping geese]

[youfool]

Oh, I don't know. Everyone has different words for everything. Or rather, one word for a lot else. Porrim is a troll who lives in, from what I understand, a nice house, rather than under a bridge asking for tolls or people to eat. I'm even good friends with a demon, who isn't a son of hell so much as good-looking egocentric.

Really, the only thing to do is to find out whatever it meant by whoever said it. Or drop it altogether; we've already got one controversy on our hands. I think we could do without stirring up another.

[gammavirginis]

That's a good point, I should just ask them.

What's the specific controversy you're talking about, though?

[youfool]

Goodness, you've accepted it so much it barely registers on your ideological radar. Good! Specifically I'm talking about necromancy, i.e. the systematic maligning and rooting out of everything Everglade holds dear. Apparently. It's become the issue upon which we orbit, much to my chagrin.

Who knows what kind of hornets nest we'll stir if we go after homonculi next. Not saying we absolutely shouldn't; it may comfortably nest together with necromancy under the umbrella of 'dark magic', but let's take care our cups don't o'erflow the measure.

[gammavirginis]

Well I think if we're going to be running on an idealistic platform then there's no reason to make measure responses. That's what said before, wasn't it? You'd rather be thrown out for sticking to your guns then to compromise?

If it turns out this homonculus thing is bad, I don't want to trick them into voting for you if their existence is the next thing on the docket.

[youfool]

Oh, I wouldn't worry about that. No one involved in sinister sorcery, necromantic or otherwise, is likely to put a vote my way. Doubtless there will be a meaner receptacle.

Laughs Look at us. Here I'm suggesting temperance, you purity. Role reversal! There's certainly some dark magic afoot.

My only reservation about your investigation is the forbidden fruit principle. If we find out it's worthy of being outlawed, but not actually occurring, then all we'll do is introduce the concept to a grieved and wounded populace who were, if nothing else, innocent of that particular abomination. Laws, however just, sometimes make their adherence more than less difficult. That's all."

[gammavirginis]

Obviously getting you to do something involves becoming over-zealous enough to make you reconsider.

That, or just suggesting something that involves more work.

[youfool]

Hah, well while those are both legitimate fears, I must stress my stance. Where virtue fails, ignorance can save. I'm proof of that. Magic introduces all sorts of ways to taint our souls, most of which we're better off not knowing. Let's not give the disaffected or the bored or the merely malicious any ideas. Goodness knows we get up to enough trouble on our own devices.

Which is to say, in the future I'd appreciate more discretion than a public broadcast. Hopefully this homonculus business is little more than a peccadillo. Gaffes for want of subtlety are my department, and I simply won't tolerate any muscling in.

[gammavirginis]

I'll keep that in mind, but no promises.

[aphotic_auror]

Oi, Boss! I'd mind who you accuse of doing "dark magic", really.... ESPECIALLY with a "dark wizard catcher" on hand in this office...

[Maria's smirking face finally reappears in her device's lens; no doubt she'd covered it momentarily, or turned it off altogether, to use the "powder room" as she was calling it to keep Ted from blushing too terribly much!]

And really now? Porrim's a ruddy troll!? Well, that explains her complexion, I suppose, but-- yes, aye, she DOES have a very nice house, indeed...

[[This shall also be titled as: "WHO ARE YOU CALLING GOSSIPING GEESE?"]]

[youfool]

"Hah, I'll be sure to shorten the leash on my anti-dark wizard attack dog. And I wouldn't say she's ruddy; grey, maybe a touch of green. But in other respects, yes. I'm surprised you two know so little about each other, given women's predilection for chatter. And roommates, too!"

Please, don't point out the hypocrisy. His little head will explode.

[gammavirginis]

"You know, men actually speak more than women do."

[aphotic_auror]

"Oh aye, indeed, Porrim... I mean, seriously: they wouldn't want us Womenfolk interacting too much, particularly in such a public venue, so we can actually make a plan to overthrow the Patriarchy!" She cannot repress the small snort of laughter that escapes her at that declaration, of course; women have been Equals with Menfolk for so very long in the wizarding world for so long she couldn't even Remember a time when they weren't, after all!

[youfool]

That is such an evil trap, you evil person you. A nine word sentence full of provocation to prove your point. Wily women, so wily! Ted will naturally fall for it hook, like, and sinker.

"True, if you're talking about birds. Admittedly we do make pretty good speech-givers. But this is a place of law and order, where no convictions are granted without proof beyond a shadow of a doubt. What have you against the great and thundering tower of common wisdom?"

[gammavirginis]

Oh, are we doing this? Okay we're doing this. Porrim doesn't have sleeves but imagine an alternate costume with sleeves and then imagine her rolling them up.

"And what individuals collectively hold this 'common wisdom,' exactly? A largely male demographic, right? Do you know a lot of women who 'wisely' think that woman are chatterboxes?"

[youfool]

Is that a crack at Ted's lack of experience with women? Okay, first off: mean. Second off, three female coworkers. Three! He'll be buried in high heels if the hiring keeps up at this rate. Fortunately, Ted held the ultimate trump card. A hallowed piece of humanity that none would dare gainsay. Or make an entire genre of comedy out of, that works too.

"Hah, well truthfully I don't spend as much time as I'd like polling the sexes for their opinions of themselves. Still, my own mother certainly thought so."

Check and mate.

[aphotic_auror]

A wild shriek of laughter emanated from the Everglade Guardians' Office, followed by a dull thump of flesh-and-bone (mostly Bone, granted!) against a wooden desk.

Yes, Ted, your jokes may have finally killed someone, for realsies...

[gammavirginis]

Porrim may not have had a mother as humans knew it, but she knew enough about their role (and the similarity to the role of her own guardians) that challenging that was NOT A GOOD IDEA.

Besides, Maria's laughter was a pretty big derail. You can't really formulate comebacks with someone falling down from laughing.

Porrim rushed over to check on her.

"Maria, are you alright there?"

[aphotic_auror]

"Eh? OH! Fine, I'm.... FINE, I'm-- yes..." Maria blinked dazedly up at Porrim for a brief moment, before she manages to focus her eyes on the greyish-green-skinned troll (apparently?), with a small, impish smile, of course, as she adds quietly: "you know, you don't look anything like the Trolls I've encountered in MY line of work... Back home, that is to say..."

[gammavirginis]

That was definitely something she never heard, like, every single time she met someone new.

"Sorry about that." She reached out to help Maria up.

( video; )

[askypirate]

[He gives a casual wave as the feed initializes.]

They're little automatons, I believe, animated by magic to do a mage's bidding. In order to the necromantic, I believe they would need to be built from flesh and powered by a person's essence, but I only have an elementary knowledge of non-magicite machination.

[He shrugs slightly.]

Hopefully you find that helpful.

[gammavirginis]

It is helpful! It sounds like there probably are lots of different definitions, like Ted warned.

[askypirate]

This wouldn't happen to have anything to do with those nasty protests in Everglade I've been hearing of, would it?

[gammavirginis]

I don't know if I'd call them nasty.

[ A beat. ]

Besides the serial killings.

[askypirate]

Serial killings are simply a nasty business? And a single murder, a minor inconvenience, then?

[He doesn't sound shocked, only slightly amused.]

[gammavirginis]

I suppose I've gotten a bit desensitized to death, haven't I?

I can't imagine what the Porrim Maryam who clipped out fashion models out of magazines into scrapbooks would make of this Porrim Maryam. She'd probably be horrified. And maybe a little turned on.

[askypirate]

Mm, yes. There's nothing quite like an indifference to the loss of life to get the blood pumping.

[His tone is a little sarcastic, but still slightly amused.]

[gammavirginis]

Fine, no more candid admissions for you, Mr. Judgey McJudgepants.

Anyway, it was me who caught the serial killer, so I feel entitled to a little flippancy.

[askypirate]

[He chuckles. Touchy about a bit of teasing, are we?]

Ah, I see. Good show, then. Are you some sort of bounty hunter?

[gammavirginis]

[ Yes it's so unreasonable to be prickly about being accused of being a sociopath. ]

I guess technically. The money is certainly nice, but really I just want resolve conflicts. I work as a deputy guardian for Everglade now.

[askypirate]

[Hey, he never said the word sociopath. That is your word.]

I suppose someone needs to have that heart.

[gammavirginis]

I'm hardly the only one, but thank you.

[askypirate]

Strange, I've met many law enforcement officials in my day. You hardly fit the description.

super late

[gammavirginis]

I'll take that as a compliment.

super late

[askypirate]

[He smiles.]

As well you should.

anon text;

[behindthefakesmile]

While others have said many different variations of what it is and they are all right. At the end of the day they are still artificial humans that have limits to what they might or might not have. Though it also depends on how they were created and for what purpose.

Necromancy is about bringing the dead back to life and some might consider an homunculus as something similar since people try and recreate a person that existed sometimes.

text, super late

[gammavirginis]

That's very helpful, thank you.