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Entry tags:
Newspaper - Saturday Edition
(OOC: Backdated!)
[Did you subscribe to The Genessia Tribune? Did you even remotely wish you had a newspaper or some other form of media to refer to for news, weather, and current events? Then you're in luck! There's a paperboy riding through the streets of Genessia flinging newspapers onto doorsteps or, if you're unlucky, through your window. Even remote locations in the other cities will still get a paper if one of the residents ever wanted one. The Paperboy is just that dedicated.]
[And if you're one of the following people, and you happen to subscribe to the newspaper, the Paperboy may or may not have flung the newspaper through that person's window and/or broke something in the area: Cherise Thompson, Blair, Betelgeuse, Adam Taurus, Marceline, Skeletor, and Warrior of Light.]
Singles Ads
Bear-Slaying Geek
SWM age 17 seeks SF age 16-19, must be cute. Interested in video games and nothing else. Favorite foods include everything under the sun. Call me to hear my story about killing a helpless giant bear all by my lonesome!
Musician Royalty
SM seeks F for many enchanted evenings. Knows how to treat a girl like a princess, and when it's time for pizza and rock 'n roll. Especially fond of women who are 'pleasantly plump.
Super Dead!
SWM seeks pretty much everything under the sun. Enjoys being horrible, listening to horrible music, and eating horrible food and also ravioli. Disease-resistant. Will take anything he can get his hands on. Excels at exorcising the living.
Are you a lonely sadsack? Maybe placing an ad will change your luck! Fill out the form below and send it in to see your ad in next week's paper! Names will not be shown, so be sure to include your radio frequency number. Who knows? You might meet someone dreamy! Or a creepy stalker! Try your luck today!
Dear Tabby
Due to the lack of submissions, there will be no responses from our resident advice columnist this week. You guys just think you know it all, don't you?
Insane Doctor Wins by a Landslide
The votes are in, and Nova City now has a new guardian defending all of that precious, valuable technology: Dr. Albert Wily. Concerns have been raised that he's not even a real doctor, but Wily supporters were quick to retort that he has a PhD in 'Kicking Your Ass.' Tensions continue to remain high after the election, because people are, by nature, sore losers. Only time will demonstrate whether Wily's nomination will lead to progress and revolutionary fashion, or calamity and woe.
Wet Weather in Everglade
Everglade is in for a wet week, as the heavy clouds blanketing the area are at long last vomiting up big fountains of rain. Some citizens have questioned whether this poor weather is likely to affect the charm quest set to be held next Sunday. When asked for a weather prediction, fortune teller and event coordinator Imelda Shoop replied, "What do I look like, a meteorologist? Bitch, please-- I MEAN! I see a foggy horizon...the answers are not yet clear to me. ...But seriously, if you can't handle a little rain in exchange for a freaking charm, you don't deserve a charm." Participants are advised to bring an umbrella and a poncho, just in case.
Fayren Guardian Missing!
Nefarious and butt ugly villain Skeletor has announced to the world that he has kidnapped the guardian of Fayren. Dirty peasants are in a panic, and many are running through the streets screaming "THERE IS NO GOD! THERE IS NO GOD!" Whether these proclamations are literal or metaphorical remains to be seen, as attempts to question the rampaging citizens has resulted in a very painful trampling of our Fayren reporter. If you would like to send flowers, please send all donations to the Genessia Tribune's central office.
Valentine Schmooze Makes Bachelors Nauseous
Love is in the air, and so is booze, depending on romantic status. With the rapid approach of Valentine's Day this week, chocolatiers are raking in the cash and probably rolling around naked in it (credible source not yet found). When local citizen Orihime Inoue was questioned on planned activities for Valentine's Day, she responded with a long and boring weeaboo explanation about how girls make chocolate for boys on Valentine's Day and a month later on March 14th, the boys return the favor with racist treats for White Day. How do you plan on celebrating the holiday? Send all submissions to the Genessia Tribune's central office for a chance to be featured in next week's newspaper!
Team RWB Reclaims the Y
For some reason, the words on this article got wet and ran together with the articles on the back page and the adjacent page.
For a great way to treat your friends and family, just make this simple dish with blonde henchman Yang Xiao Long was shaken out of her brainwashing thanks to a little help from delicious spinach dip, best served with crackers. It's so simple, even a baby could kick Bison's ass, the dictator was 530 calories. After the appetizers were served, Ruby claimed to be so happy she could cry, before she promptly began to do just that. The team is currently resting for the weekend, so don't eat too much or you'll get a fat ass.
Your Weather Forecast
Genessia City
*Sunday, February 9 - PM snow showers. High 30 F / Low 23 F
*Monday, February 10 - Partly cloudy. High 29 F / Low 15 F
*Tuesday, February 11 - Mostly sunny. High 25 F / Low 11 F
*Wednesday, February 12 - Mostly cloudy. High 31 F / Low 27 F
*Thursday, February 13 - Wintry mix. High 35 F / Low 28 F
*Friday, February 14 - Cloudy. High 41 F / Low 28 F
*Saturday, February 15 - Mostly cloudy. High 38 F / Low 27 F
Attleton
*Sunday, February 9 - Snow snowers. High 23 F / Low 8 F
*Monday, February 10 - Partly cloudy. High 19 F / Low 3 F
*Tuesday, February 11 - Partly cloudy. High 31 F / Low 13 F
*Wednesday, February 12 - AM clouds/PM sun. High 40 F / Low 24 F
*Thursday, February 13 - AM clouds/PM sun. High 48 F / Low 29 F
*Friday, February 14 - Cloudy. High 49 F / Low 29 F
*Saturday, February 15 - Partly cloudy. High 53 F / Low 28 F
Everglade
*Sunday, February 9 - Rain/snow. High 39 F / Low 36 F
*Monday, February 10 - Rain. High 44 F / Low 42 F
*Tuesday, February 11 - Rain. High 46 F / Low 44 F
*Wednesday, February 12 - Rain. High 48 F / Low 45 F
*Thursday, February 13 - Rain. High 48 F / Low 43 F
*Friday, February 14 - Showers. High 46 F / Low 41 F
*Saturday, February 15 - Rain. High 46 F / Low 39 F
Fayren
*Sunday, February 9 - Light rain. High 49 F / Low 40 F
*Monday, February 10 - Light rain. High 45 F / Low 36 F
*Tuesday, February 11 - Rain. High 43 F / Low 37 F
*Wednesday, February 12 - Scattered thunderstorms. High 46 F / Low 42 F
*Thursday, February 13 - Showers/strong wind. High 47 F / Low 39 F
*Friday, February 14 - Rain. High 46 F / Low 41 F
*Saturday, February 15 - Showers/strong wind. High 48 F / Low 38 F
Nova City
*Sunday, February 9 - Mostly cloudy. High 44 F / Low 31 F
*Monday, February 10 - Partly cloudy. High 42 F / Low 33 F
*Tuesday, February 11 - Mostly sunny. High 43 F / Low 31 F
*Wednesday, February 12 - Partly cloudy. High 44 F / Low 32 F
*Thursday, February 13 - Showers. High 43 F / Low 41 F
*Friday, February 14 - Showers. High 51 F / Low 42 F
*Saturday, February 15 - Showers/strong wind. High 49 F / Low 41 F
(OOC: Would you like to submit a story, or be featured in this paper? Let me know! Here's a list of columns I'd like to see:
*Spotlight on Genessia Citizens
*Horoscopes
*Movie Reviews)
[Did you subscribe to The Genessia Tribune? Did you even remotely wish you had a newspaper or some other form of media to refer to for news, weather, and current events? Then you're in luck! There's a paperboy riding through the streets of Genessia flinging newspapers onto doorsteps or, if you're unlucky, through your window. Even remote locations in the other cities will still get a paper if one of the residents ever wanted one. The Paperboy is just that dedicated.]
[And if you're one of the following people, and you happen to subscribe to the newspaper, the Paperboy may or may not have flung the newspaper through that person's window and/or broke something in the area: Cherise Thompson, Blair, Betelgeuse, Adam Taurus, Marceline, Skeletor, and Warrior of Light.]
Singles Ads
Bear-Slaying Geek
SWM age 17 seeks SF age 16-19, must be cute. Interested in video games and nothing else. Favorite foods include everything under the sun. Call me to hear my story about killing a helpless giant bear all by my lonesome!
Musician Royalty
SM seeks F for many enchanted evenings. Knows how to treat a girl like a princess, and when it's time for pizza and rock 'n roll. Especially fond of women who are 'pleasantly plump.
Super Dead!
SWM seeks pretty much everything under the sun. Enjoys being horrible, listening to horrible music, and eating horrible food and also ravioli. Disease-resistant. Will take anything he can get his hands on. Excels at exorcising the living.
Are you a lonely sadsack? Maybe placing an ad will change your luck! Fill out the form below and send it in to see your ad in next week's paper! Names will not be shown, so be sure to include your radio frequency number. Who knows? You might meet someone dreamy! Or a creepy stalker! Try your luck today!
Dear Tabby
Due to the lack of submissions, there will be no responses from our resident advice columnist this week. You guys just think you know it all, don't you?
Insane Doctor Wins by a Landslide
The votes are in, and Nova City now has a new guardian defending all of that precious, valuable technology: Dr. Albert Wily. Concerns have been raised that he's not even a real doctor, but Wily supporters were quick to retort that he has a PhD in 'Kicking Your Ass.' Tensions continue to remain high after the election, because people are, by nature, sore losers. Only time will demonstrate whether Wily's nomination will lead to progress and revolutionary fashion, or calamity and woe.
Wet Weather in Everglade
Everglade is in for a wet week, as the heavy clouds blanketing the area are at long last vomiting up big fountains of rain. Some citizens have questioned whether this poor weather is likely to affect the charm quest set to be held next Sunday. When asked for a weather prediction, fortune teller and event coordinator Imelda Shoop replied, "What do I look like, a meteorologist? Bitch, please-- I MEAN! I see a foggy horizon...the answers are not yet clear to me. ...But seriously, if you can't handle a little rain in exchange for a freaking charm, you don't deserve a charm." Participants are advised to bring an umbrella and a poncho, just in case.
Fayren Guardian Missing!
Nefarious and butt ugly villain Skeletor has announced to the world that he has kidnapped the guardian of Fayren. Dirty peasants are in a panic, and many are running through the streets screaming "THERE IS NO GOD! THERE IS NO GOD!" Whether these proclamations are literal or metaphorical remains to be seen, as attempts to question the rampaging citizens has resulted in a very painful trampling of our Fayren reporter. If you would like to send flowers, please send all donations to the Genessia Tribune's central office.
Valentine Schmooze Makes Bachelors Nauseous
Love is in the air, and so is booze, depending on romantic status. With the rapid approach of Valentine's Day this week, chocolatiers are raking in the cash and probably rolling around naked in it (credible source not yet found). When local citizen Orihime Inoue was questioned on planned activities for Valentine's Day, she responded with a long and boring weeaboo explanation about how girls make chocolate for boys on Valentine's Day and a month later on March 14th, the boys return the favor with racist treats for White Day. How do you plan on celebrating the holiday? Send all submissions to the Genessia Tribune's central office for a chance to be featured in next week's newspaper!
Team RWB Reclaims the Y
For some reason, the words on this article got wet and ran together with the articles on the back page and the adjacent page.
For a great way to treat your friends and family, just make this simple dish with blonde henchman Yang Xiao Long was shaken out of her brainwashing thanks to a little help from delicious spinach dip, best served with crackers. It's so simple, even a baby could kick Bison's ass, the dictator was 530 calories. After the appetizers were served, Ruby claimed to be so happy she could cry, before she promptly began to do just that. The team is currently resting for the weekend, so don't eat too much or you'll get a fat ass.
Your Weather Forecast
Genessia City
*Sunday, February 9 - PM snow showers. High 30 F / Low 23 F
*Monday, February 10 - Partly cloudy. High 29 F / Low 15 F
*Tuesday, February 11 - Mostly sunny. High 25 F / Low 11 F
*Wednesday, February 12 - Mostly cloudy. High 31 F / Low 27 F
*Thursday, February 13 - Wintry mix. High 35 F / Low 28 F
*Friday, February 14 - Cloudy. High 41 F / Low 28 F
*Saturday, February 15 - Mostly cloudy. High 38 F / Low 27 F
Attleton
*Sunday, February 9 - Snow snowers. High 23 F / Low 8 F
*Monday, February 10 - Partly cloudy. High 19 F / Low 3 F
*Tuesday, February 11 - Partly cloudy. High 31 F / Low 13 F
*Wednesday, February 12 - AM clouds/PM sun. High 40 F / Low 24 F
*Thursday, February 13 - AM clouds/PM sun. High 48 F / Low 29 F
*Friday, February 14 - Cloudy. High 49 F / Low 29 F
*Saturday, February 15 - Partly cloudy. High 53 F / Low 28 F
Everglade
*Sunday, February 9 - Rain/snow. High 39 F / Low 36 F
*Monday, February 10 - Rain. High 44 F / Low 42 F
*Tuesday, February 11 - Rain. High 46 F / Low 44 F
*Wednesday, February 12 - Rain. High 48 F / Low 45 F
*Thursday, February 13 - Rain. High 48 F / Low 43 F
*Friday, February 14 - Showers. High 46 F / Low 41 F
*Saturday, February 15 - Rain. High 46 F / Low 39 F
Fayren
*Sunday, February 9 - Light rain. High 49 F / Low 40 F
*Monday, February 10 - Light rain. High 45 F / Low 36 F
*Tuesday, February 11 - Rain. High 43 F / Low 37 F
*Wednesday, February 12 - Scattered thunderstorms. High 46 F / Low 42 F
*Thursday, February 13 - Showers/strong wind. High 47 F / Low 39 F
*Friday, February 14 - Rain. High 46 F / Low 41 F
*Saturday, February 15 - Showers/strong wind. High 48 F / Low 38 F
Nova City
*Sunday, February 9 - Mostly cloudy. High 44 F / Low 31 F
*Monday, February 10 - Partly cloudy. High 42 F / Low 33 F
*Tuesday, February 11 - Mostly sunny. High 43 F / Low 31 F
*Wednesday, February 12 - Partly cloudy. High 44 F / Low 32 F
*Thursday, February 13 - Showers. High 43 F / Low 41 F
*Friday, February 14 - Showers. High 51 F / Low 42 F
*Saturday, February 15 - Showers/strong wind. High 49 F / Low 41 F
(OOC: Would you like to submit a story, or be featured in this paper? Let me know! Here's a list of columns I'd like to see:
*Spotlight on Genessia Citizens
*Horoscopes
*Movie Reviews)
no subject
The Evil Warriors had brought in the large chest and set it before Skeletor's throne, quickly backing off as the Lord of Destruction walked forward to open it up and peer gleefully at the shimmering gem inside.
"Uuuh, I don't get it." Beastman spoke up, scratching his head uncomprehendingly like the stupid oaf he was. "What's so great about some rock-- guuuf!"
Once again, the Warrior found himself on the receiving end of a Havoc Blast, albeit a lighter one this time. With no further questions, Skeletor turned to address the assembled Evil Warriors.
"This is no mere rock, Beastman. This is the Mezmerous Crystal and its true power awakens under the light of the full moon. When the light is channeled through it, anybody whose eyes are touched by it will become the slave of whomever holds it. With this in my possession, nobody will be able to stand in my way--!"
Something came spinning out of the darkness just then. Hurtling end over end to smack into the chest which teetered dangerously for a moment before tipping right over and spilling its precious contents out. A loud crash and a flash of light, and all that remained of the crystal was a pile of shimmering fragments.
......
Silence reigned in Snake Mountain and all who stood there could only stand in stunned silence. Slowly, the Overlord of Evil reaches down and picked up the destructive object.
"A... a newspaper?" Another long moment of silence and then... slowly, he began to laugh. Just a quiet chuckle at first before it began to grow and grow in volume, until it became an insane cackle that echoed off the walls.
The Evil Warriors shared a nervous glance between each other before, not knowing what else to do, they joined in. Laughing along with their master--
"IDIOTS! FOOLS! MORONS!" Skeletor cast the paper aside and the air was filled with blasts of destructive magic as he fired at... at anything. Just looking for something to become the target of his rage. "DON'T JUST STAND THERE! FIND THAT PAPERBOY AND BRING HIM TO ME AT ONCE! FIND HIM! FIIIIND HIIIM!!"
Harried by blasts of energy, the Evil Warriors scattered out of the mountain. Some say the entire Maw shook that day with Skeletor's fury....
"HHHHHHHRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHH!!!!!"
Blecause clearly, this is what he needs right now.
Yes. Yes. YES.
She missed it from her place, but it makes her happy anyway.
Which means he'll get an overly sympathetic- Oh dear. Maybe you can glue whatever that was back together. I'm assuming that's what's got you all upset.
What'cha gonna do, Skelly? What'cha gonna do? Blast the cage apart to get her now?