Newspaper - Saturday Edition

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[Did you subscribe to The Genessia Tribune? Did you even remotely wish you had a newspaper or some other form of media to refer to for news, weather, and current events? Then you're in luck! There's a paperboy riding through the streets of Genessia flinging newspapers onto doorsteps or, if you're unlucky, through your window. Even remote locations in the other cities will still get a paper if one of the residents ever wanted one. The Paperboy is just that dedicated.]

[And if you're one of the following people, and you happen to subscribe to the newspaper, the Paperboy may or may not have flung the newspaper through that person's window and/or broke something in the area: Cherise Thompson, Don Claude Frollo, Lust, Sam Winchester, Vyse, Raye Hino, Captain Hammer, Kefka Palazzo, and Loke.]



Singles Ads

Bear-Slaying Geek
SWM age 17 seeks SF age 16-19, must be cute. Interested in video games and nothing else. Favorite foods include everything under the sun. Call me to hear my story about killing a helpless giant bear all by my lonesome!

Musician Royalty
SM seeks F for many enchanted evenings. Knows how to treat a girl like a princess, and when it's time for pizza and rock 'n roll. Especially fond of women who are 'pleasantly plump.

Super Dead!
SWM seeks pretty much everything under the sun. Enjoys being horrible, listening to horrible music, and eating horrible food and also ravioli. Disease-resistant. Will take anything he can get his hands on. Excels at exorcising the living.

Are you a lonely sadsack? Maybe placing an ad will change your luck! Fill out the form below and send it in to see your ad in next week's paper! Names will not be shown, so be sure to include your radio frequency number. Who knows? You might meet someone dreamy! Or a creepy stalker! Try your luck today!

<b>Status/Race/Gender:</b> [Ex. SWF = single white female] <b>Seeking Status/Race/Gender:</b> [If you're not picky, leave that letter out.] <b>Hobbies and Interests:</b> <b>Favorite Foods:</b> <b>Noteworthy Traits and Accomplishments:</b>

Dear Tabby

Due to the lack of submissions, there will be no responses from our resident advice columnist this week. You guys just think you know it all, don't you?

Sore Loser Confesses to Being a Furry Lover

Citizens across the realm were all suddenly bored into a dangerous coma when failed candidate for Nova City, Professor Ozpin, made a prolonged and boring speech about animals and people having equal rights. "I knew I shouldn't have voted for him!" Chris Athan frowned, shaking his ham-sized fist. "If boring speeches were all we were going to get, then I'm glad we got the other guy. He's insane, but at least he's not booooooooooooooring." Others are certain that the speech was hypocritical in nature, as Ozpin was seen last week purchasing bacon at the grocery store. "Some animal lover he is," the grocery clerk complained.

Fortune Teller Arrested!

Fortune teller Imelda Shoop was arrested on charges of fraud and writing bad fanfic earlier this week. Imelda was responsible for several ill-matched pairs ascending what locals are now calling "Ship Mountain." Imelda confessed that she just really wanted to see certain 'pairings' of people she liked, and a search of her shop uncovered multiple stacks of awful, awful fanfiction, one of which involved the Everglade City Guardian and the mysterious short-skirted flame warrior who appears every so often to yell about punishment and the power of Mars. All fanfiction was promptly burned to the relief of many.

Your Weather Forecast
Genessia City
*Sunday, February 23 - Cloudy. High 50 F / Low 30 F
*Monday, February 24 - Partly cloudy. High 33 F / Low 19 F
*Tuesday, February 25 - Few snow showers. High 32 F / Low 26 F
*Wednesday, February 26 - Snow shower. High 32 F / Low 10 F
*Thursday, February 27 - Mostly cloudy. High 26 F / Low 12 F
*Friday, February 28 - Mostly sunny. High 29 F / Low 18 F
*Saturday, March 1 - Partly cloudy. High 31 F / Low 16 F

Attleton
*Sunday, February 23 - Partly cloudy. High 41 F / Low 23 F
*Monday, February 24 - Partly cloudy. High 47 F / Low 22 F
*Tuesday, February 25 - Mostly cloudy. High 31 F / Low 12 F
*Wednesday, February 26 - Sunny! High 35 F / Low 20 F
*Thursday, February 27 - Mostly sunny. High 43 F / Low 20 F
*Friday, February 28 - Partly cloudy. High 38 F / Low 17 F
*Saturday, March 1 - Partly cloudy. High 40 F / Low 25 F

Everglade
*Sunday, February 23 - Mostly cloudy. High 54 F / Low 44 F
*Monday, February 24 - Cloudy. High 48 F / Low 41 F
*Tuesday, February 25 - Mostly cloudy. High 50 F / Low 40 F
*Wednesday, February 26 - Mostly cloudy. High 50 F / Low 42 F
*Thursday, February 27 - Showers. High 51 F / Low 42 F
*Friday, February 28 - Cloudy. High 52 F / Low 42 F
*Saturday, March 1 - Showers. High 52 F / Low 42 F

Fayren
*Sunday, February 23 - Cloudy/windy. High 54 F / Low 43 F
*Monday, February 24 - AM clouds/PM sun. High 55 F / Low 45 F
*Tuesday, February 25 - Rain. High 50 F / Low 39 F
*Wednesday, February 26 - Partly cloudy. High 53 F / Low 43 F
*Thursday, February 27 - Showers. High 52 F / Low 40 F
*Friday, February 28 - Showers. High 48 F / Low 38 F
*Saturday, March 1 - Mostly cloudy. High 48 F / Low 37 F

Nova City
*Sunday, February 23 - Cloudy/windy. High 54 F / Low 43 F
*Monday, February 24 - AM clouds/PM sun. High 55 F / Low 45 F
*Tuesday, February 25 - Rain. High 50 F / Low 39 F
*Wednesday, February 26 - Partly cloudy. High 53 F / Low 43 F
*Thursday, February 27 - Showers. High 52 F / Low 40 F
*Friday, February 28 - Showers. High 48 F / Low 38 F
*Saturday, March 1 - Mostly cloudy. High 48 F / Low 37 F


(OOC: Would you like to submit a story, or be featured in this paper? Let me know! Here's a list of columns I'd like to see:
*Spotlight on Genessia Citizens
*Horoscopes
*Movie Reviews)