two ticks: text

[stairsbro]

like three days ago was my buddys birthday according to the calendar here
and usually something significant goes down
like the world gets destroyed or the sis hooks up with a vampire etc etc
but nothing life changingly important happened
at least not anything even vaguely related to my shit
some shit went down prior to the month starting but im not counting that
not to downplay how royally messed up tv kidnappers are
but i mean like as an april thing
im probably missing out on the significant goings on
of any universe that fucking nerd is in
by being here instead
idk what the point of this was
fucking opening pointless memos like karkat now to ramble at myself
guy would have a field day
fuck
anyway
movies
thinking of making some since danny pointed out the pickings are limited
i think i can pump out a masterpiece while im doing diddly fucking squat here
but i have no money for a camera or film or like shit you actually need to do this
or anything at all because i spent all my bills
so does anyone wanna hire me
what you got i bet i could do it with my sick resume
swiss army knife dave thats me
and id rather go the contributing to society route than literally steal everyones money
make out like a bandit
ya blink and suddenly im the richest mother fucker in this eerie place
porrims gonna have to give me the nice room
with the pimped out bathroom thats got the toilet separate from the sink by a door
god damn thats fancy
but hire me so i can also actually pay her for my loitering
shes gonna come to her senses any day now
and realize what a shit investment letting me have a room was

also everyones talking about that hot weiss chick cept the paper that doesnt hit you in the face
instead of addressing the real issue here
which is that someone decided it was a good idea to unleash that unholy porcelain pedobait army upon the place straight from the animes
if your job offer is located near or in fayren im gonna take a pass and say hell fucking no to your wacked out lolita puppet show over there
what the actual fuck

Comments

Text

[greenmagick]

If you like flowers I can give you a job.

[stairsbro]

that is not the first offer i was expecting
like
at all
flowers
sure i like flowers
i havent given a lot of thought to them
and never put one in my living space
but my friend would garden
oh no wait she grew veggies
i know OF flowers
theyre pretty and smell nice right
right ??
i can do flowers
i cant believe you read this and thought
yeah that guy sounds delicate enough for flowers
idk how to feel about that but ok

what would i be doing with flowers

[greenmagick]

Selling them.
When I read this it just sounded like you needed work. It isn't a difficult job and I could use the help. Unless you don't want too.
It sounds like you're good at talking to people.

text;

[thelastdruid]

The theater might have some stuff I can borrow if you're interested.

Can we not talk about the doll army?

Listen, thanks for the assist, by the way.

text;

[stairsbro]

yeah??
sign me up as interested in borrowing

man nathan why would you even bring it up again to ask
let us never speak of this

yeah yw
what good is being a knight if you cant provide quality backup or whatever

[stairsbro]

i guess
no its cool
ill sell your flowers
sell the flowers like they dont just pop out of the ground
check out this god damn gardenia
look at this beauty
sniff it
no dude seriously sniff it
it smells like spring and sunshine

[greenmagick]

I also have an opening as a gardener too but I think you'd have more fun at the front of the store.

[youfool]

Oh, I wouldn't worry about any forthcoming evictions from Porrim. Coming to her senses is something of a rarity.

[Teasing]

[stairsbro]

thats a dickish statement dude

[stairsbro]

k cool
so where is this

[greenmagick]

Attleton
You are welcome to stop by and see the shop. It isn't hard to find.

[youfool]

[Another who took light mockery as grievous insult. Ted figured he needed a way to disarm the Sensitive Sally's. Nothing came to mind just then, so he'd do the usual genuflecting.]

It's meant with a lighter heart, though I apologize for any offense.

[stairsbro]

apology rejected
you cant take that back with a simple jk dude
my ass is good and firmly chapped over this disrespectin
you done fucked up this first impression
whathcu going to do about it

[youfool]

[Good, at least, that he reckoned this as the first impression, and not when he vomited on him. That was embarrassing.]

"Good question; I hear those are hard to fix. What do you recommend?"

[redcarnation]

if your movies are going to be as incoherent as this post was, our cinemas are doomed

[stairsbro]

lady you dont even know how doomed youre gonna be if i dont make my movies
you think this is incoherent just you wait
ive seen the future
its all cinematically down hill from here
cgi spectacles with zero fucking plot
my shits gonna make you think

[stairsbro]

a vague not hard to find location in attleton
wander around till i smell fresh daises got it
not even going to ask for my full name
the interview was just "do you like flowers y/n??"
should i learn your name
is this how jobs work i really thought employment would be way fucking harder to get
this is not me being unappreciative about throwing me a bone
like hell yeah job
but damn
that was surprisingly easy

[stairsbro]

a reevaluation of all of lifes choices
followed immediately by fucking off
and coming back with a better opener
youre already on round 2
you gotta make it good bro

[youfool]

"That could take a while. Good luck with your employment in the meantime."

[stairsbro]

yep thanks

[greenmagick]

I thought it best we meet and you see if the job is to your liking.
Due to the fact that you are working with customers though I'd like you to refrain from swearing when helping someone.
If you wish to stop by I can tell you more and meet you properly.
My name is Terra
You're welcome to tell me your full name but I believe it's Dave right?

[She hasn't spoken to you but she's read your text over the network.

[stairsbro]

[ refrain from swearing... shit. ]

ok that makes sense gotcha
ill head over in a bit
yes my full name is dave
nice to meet you terra

[greenmagick]

[It's okay Dave, Terra has a swearing jar since her other employee also swears often.]

I'll look forward to seeing you Dave.

text;

[thelastdruid]

I'm not promising anything, but I'll see what I can do.

Bring up what?

I'd be dead right now if you hadn't been there.

[redcarnation]

you're only going to make me think if you manage to keep me awake through the whole movie though ♥