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genessia2014-04-26 06:59 am
papergurrl) wrote in genessia2014-04-26 06:59 am
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Tradewinds Newsletter Delivery, Issue #1
[ Good morning! Something new has been added to your doorstep -- or more than likely, the window or your face if you're REALLY unlucky, this weekend, and that is this newsletter. The merry 'ringring' of a bell preceds a young lady's voice shouting, 'Extra, Newsletter here Y'all!' and then the sharp CRACK of said newsletter smashing into the side of a door (if you're lucky) or through a window (if you aren't).
Today's lucky victims are: Minako Aino, Jounouchi Katsuya, Stefano, Battler Ushiromiya, Sora and Natsu Dragneel. Enjoy your broken windows (or smacks to the face with the newsletters) you lucky devils. ]
Welcome Lucky Readers of the Tradewinds,
This newsletter formed as key members of the newspaper splintered away from the production during a certain legal issue in which the Tribune was being sued for slander. We are legally contracted to keep our silence on the event beyond that. However, we promise to provide alternative reading to serve alongside the Tribune, which will resume shortly. Issues will be delivered every weekend courtesy of our dedicated papergirl Cira Creed. And now, a word from your papergirl.
CC: WHATEVE.
Your horoscopes for the month are as follows - if you were born :
June 21-Jul 22: If you ever had that feeling you were being watched.... you are. Right now.
Jul 23-Aug 22: Everything is going to go wrong for you today. I'd advise staying inside, but your house is likely to collapse on you. You might as well resign yourself to the fact that you are screwed, royally.
Aug 23-Sep 22: Your whole life will flash before your eyes. Shortly afterwards you will die of boredom.
Sep 23 - Oct 22: You're going to be incrediby lucky this month! Or maybe you're just going to get lucky? The stars are a little iffy on this one...
Oct 23-Nov 21: Are you sick of being single? Have you been looking for love in all the obvious places? Why not try someone or somewhere a little less obvious for a change?
Nov 22-Dec 21: Are you having trouble focusing on a task? Do you keep flitting from project to projec...
Dec 22-Jan 19: You're feeling incredibly generous this month! Get out there and do someone good!
Jan 20-Feb 18: Beware of Fish.
Feb 19-Mar 20: This month there is absolutely nothing to worry about – no, nothing at all ...
Mar 21-Apr 19: Be careful when you step outside this month, you may be getting targeted by a flock of vindictive pigeons.
Apr 20-May 20: Goodbye's are always sad aren't they? This month you may be a little more clingy than usual.
May 21-June 20: Forever alone. FOREVER. It may be your body odor. You should do something about that.
This Week's Review in Food: Bobby's Steakhouse by Clarence Hungar
This reviewer had the dubious priveliged of being invited to Bobby's Steakhouse in Genessia City recently, and treated to what they claimed was 'the best damn steak in the city this side of Genessia'.
Not a hard claim to boast about when it's also the ONLY steakhouse in the city that serves steak. And nothing else. Don't get me wrong, it's a bold move to serve steaks, especially when the chef 'experiments' with the types of meat, but steak and potatoes will get you only so far. There is one dish that this reviewer is skeptical about, and that's the dish that the chef claims to be actual dragon Meat, 'lovingly' called the Divine Dragon Deal.
The meal itself is tough and dry, remniscent of shoe leather - in fact, this reviewer thinks it might actually BE shoe leather. The 'side' such as it is, are what the chef refers to as flame seared cajun potatoes, which is just a sneaky way of saying burnt. Surprisingly it is the most flavorful part of the dish. But that's only one man's opinion. With the dish being sold at $25 a dish, its hefty portion is still astonishingly criminal, and in this reviewer's opinion, if you go to Bob's Steakhouse, stay away from the Divine Dragon Deal.
Rating: ★ ★ ☆ ☆ ☆
This Week's Review In Movies: Bearfight! by Maia Merryman
Well, I went into this movie with low expectations, and was surprisingly pleased by this indi film that seemed to come up out of nowhere. Somehow the director managed to create a 3D animation with a surprisingly believable plot, and realistic characters - or as realistic as a group of bears can get.
Though the green screen effects were a bit lacking in certain places, the story currently playing during those moments had many people in the audience immersed in it so deeply that you could easily disregard the lack of detail. The animators paid special attention to the fight scenes, and took a sadistic pleasure in each battle, which was choreographed amazingly with a disturbing amount of bloodshed.
The twist ending that came up in the finale might have been a tad predictable at the end, but it still left this reviewer on the edge of her seat. If you're still reading this review, Put the paper down and go rush out and see Bearfight! in the local theater at Genessia City, RIGHT NOW. DO IT. WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE - GET GOING.
Rating: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★
Help! A few days ago I lost a priceless amulet that was given to me by my late husband. I haven't been able to sleep peacefully since then - I fear I may have dropped it in the well in town. Reward Offered!
Cayro, Fayren Sundries.
Help! My cat has gone missing, I'm worried she might have gotten lost, or eaten. He's a black and brown tomcat and answers to Mr. Mittens, and he's the sweetest kitty you ever saw. Reward!
Luka, Sunset Summit Apartments, 4B
Help! We're having a bit of a creature problem here in Everglade, and we'd sure appreciate someone coming down to cull the beasts before they get bold enough to come into town again. Payment on confirmation of each dead beast.
Stuart Tanner
[ OOC PM this account if you take any of the jobs listed, and you'll get ooc details about it. ]
Today's lucky victims are: Minako Aino, Jounouchi Katsuya, Stefano, Battler Ushiromiya, Sora and Natsu Dragneel. Enjoy your broken windows (or smacks to the face with the newsletters) you lucky devils. ]
Tradewinds Newsletter
Welcome Lucky Readers of the Tradewinds,
This newsletter formed as key members of the newspaper splintered away from the production during a certain legal issue in which the Tribune was being sued for slander. We are legally contracted to keep our silence on the event beyond that. However, we promise to provide alternative reading to serve alongside the Tribune, which will resume shortly. Issues will be delivered every weekend courtesy of our dedicated papergirl Cira Creed. And now, a word from your papergirl.
CC: WHATEVE.
Your horoscopes for the month are as follows - if you were born :
June 21-Jul 22: If you ever had that feeling you were being watched.... you are. Right now.
Jul 23-Aug 22: Everything is going to go wrong for you today. I'd advise staying inside, but your house is likely to collapse on you. You might as well resign yourself to the fact that you are screwed, royally.
Aug 23-Sep 22: Your whole life will flash before your eyes. Shortly afterwards you will die of boredom.
Sep 23 - Oct 22: You're going to be incrediby lucky this month! Or maybe you're just going to get lucky? The stars are a little iffy on this one...
Oct 23-Nov 21: Are you sick of being single? Have you been looking for love in all the obvious places? Why not try someone or somewhere a little less obvious for a change?
Nov 22-Dec 21: Are you having trouble focusing on a task? Do you keep flitting from project to projec...
Dec 22-Jan 19: You're feeling incredibly generous this month! Get out there and do someone good!
Jan 20-Feb 18: Beware of Fish.
Feb 19-Mar 20: This month there is absolutely nothing to worry about – no, nothing at all ...
Mar 21-Apr 19: Be careful when you step outside this month, you may be getting targeted by a flock of vindictive pigeons.
Apr 20-May 20: Goodbye's are always sad aren't they? This month you may be a little more clingy than usual.
May 21-June 20: Forever alone. FOREVER. It may be your body odor. You should do something about that.
This Week's Review in Food: Bobby's Steakhouse by Clarence Hungar
This reviewer had the dubious priveliged of being invited to Bobby's Steakhouse in Genessia City recently, and treated to what they claimed was 'the best damn steak in the city this side of Genessia'.
Not a hard claim to boast about when it's also the ONLY steakhouse in the city that serves steak. And nothing else. Don't get me wrong, it's a bold move to serve steaks, especially when the chef 'experiments' with the types of meat, but steak and potatoes will get you only so far. There is one dish that this reviewer is skeptical about, and that's the dish that the chef claims to be actual dragon Meat, 'lovingly' called the Divine Dragon Deal.
The meal itself is tough and dry, remniscent of shoe leather - in fact, this reviewer thinks it might actually BE shoe leather. The 'side' such as it is, are what the chef refers to as flame seared cajun potatoes, which is just a sneaky way of saying burnt. Surprisingly it is the most flavorful part of the dish. But that's only one man's opinion. With the dish being sold at $25 a dish, its hefty portion is still astonishingly criminal, and in this reviewer's opinion, if you go to Bob's Steakhouse, stay away from the Divine Dragon Deal.
Rating: ★ ★ ☆ ☆ ☆
This Week's Review In Movies: Bearfight! by Maia Merryman
Well, I went into this movie with low expectations, and was surprisingly pleased by this indi film that seemed to come up out of nowhere. Somehow the director managed to create a 3D animation with a surprisingly believable plot, and realistic characters - or as realistic as a group of bears can get.
Though the green screen effects were a bit lacking in certain places, the story currently playing during those moments had many people in the audience immersed in it so deeply that you could easily disregard the lack of detail. The animators paid special attention to the fight scenes, and took a sadistic pleasure in each battle, which was choreographed amazingly with a disturbing amount of bloodshed.
The twist ending that came up in the finale might have been a tad predictable at the end, but it still left this reviewer on the edge of her seat. If you're still reading this review, Put the paper down and go rush out and see Bearfight! in the local theater at Genessia City, RIGHT NOW. DO IT. WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE - GET GOING.
Rating: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★
Help Wanted
Help! A few days ago I lost a priceless amulet that was given to me by my late husband. I haven't been able to sleep peacefully since then - I fear I may have dropped it in the well in town. Reward Offered!
Cayro, Fayren Sundries.
Help! My cat has gone missing, I'm worried she might have gotten lost, or eaten. He's a black and brown tomcat and answers to Mr. Mittens, and he's the sweetest kitty you ever saw. Reward!
Luka, Sunset Summit Apartments, 4B
Help! We're having a bit of a creature problem here in Everglade, and we'd sure appreciate someone coming down to cull the beasts before they get bold enough to come into town again. Payment on confirmation of each dead beast.
Stuart Tanner
[ OOC PM this account if you take any of the jobs listed, and you'll get ooc details about it. ]