genessia | Video/action for Tannusen

Tannusen was quite often relieved that Trahearne was out of the apartment for most of each day. That meant when he invariably had some terrible nightmare, he didn't have to worry about the sylvari worrying if he heard anything from the tiger's room. He rarely vocalized his distress, but knocking something over or even falling out of bed wasn't unheard of.

Normally, Tannusen just dealt with it in relative peace. He'd get up, make some tea, trawl and maybe troll the network a bit. Then, once his mind had finally cleared from whatever he'd dreamed, he'd consider going back to bed. Sometimes that was so unappealing, he just went out and did shit. Most of his rest on any given day was done in little bursts through-out the whole run of the clock.

It was just how things were. Had always been. The only difference between now and a decade or two ago was most of his initial attempts at sleep happened during the day. A few nights of the week spent at Cassian's house aside, the tiger was on a night schedule for his bar.

Okay, that and he was actually sleeping on a bed, in a room. That was actually... also new.

This was one of the times he fell out of bed.

Well, it was more accurate to say he went lunging out of it at some non-existent target, and then his feet went out from under him, tangled in the blankets. It might've been funny, in a different situation. Had there been any witnesses, he'd have tried to play it off for laughs anyway. But since there was no one here, a choked sob wrenched free of him as he tried to get untangled from the mess of blankets.

Frustration, yes, but also absolute, mind-numbing anguish.

This hadn't been a nightmare he'd shake off with such practiced ease. Not by a long shot. He could still see... could still hear...

He... needed to see Cassian. Needed to know he was really okay, that nothing from the nightmare had taken place in the real world. A phone call wouldn't be enough, not even video would be enough. He needed to get to the priest's house; really make sure he was okay, was still there.

Tannusen had just enough presence of mind to pull on some actual clothes before he left. Just barely. Mostly to avoid the shock of riding through two freezing fucking cities in nothing but a pair of socks and sweatpants. No, he made himself get dressed. Jeans, boots, t-shirt. Didn't even bother with a hair tie or his glasses, he just grabbed his keys and his helmet and left.

And so it was that in the middle of the day, with no warning at all, Jethro could be heard pulling up in front of Cassian's house. The bike's engine stayed idling, oddly enough. And then Tannusen was pounding a fist against the rectory door, sinking to his knees on the stoop as his sanity threatened to fold in on itself all over again. He bowed his head, trying to get a grip on his expression, eyes stinging and vision blurred.

Without realizing he was even doing it, he just kept beating on the damn door.

What the fresh hell. When the pounding didn't even pause, Cassian hauled himself to his feet with an annoyed grunt, storming over to the door and deactivating the wards before flinging it open.

"Someone ought better be dyin', goddamni-"

... well. That wasn't a... good look on Tannusen. His anger swiftly doused he fell to his knees to try and father the pookas face to him.

"Tannusen, what on earth..."

The tiger let himself be pulled closer, studying the human's face for a moment despite the tears blurring his vision, looking for... something. Checking for something. And then he buried his own face in Cassian's shoulder. "Cassian," he so rarely used the priest's name, even now. It felt wrong coming out of his mouth after so long avoiding using it. Felt like too much of an odd intimacy that he shouldn't be treading on.

Did that make any real sense? Nope, not a bit, and he knew it. But he could still be fully aware that he was being irrational, not like it, and just... keep right on being irrational.

Much as he tried to seemingly embrace his lunatic nature, it wasn't actually fun being a madman. Especially for someone who valued a sense of control and composure so highly.

Other than looking deeply concerned, there was nothing wrong. Just the same as he'd always been, eyes wide and fearful as Tannusen buried his head in his shoulder. Uttered his name like that.

"Tannusen... Tannusen, come inside with me." Out of the possible public eye where someone might see the pooka so undone.

"Let me make ye a drink... come now, hold tight to me, luv." He'd try to help ease him up, the preservation of Tannusen's public image in the forefront for the moment.

"I don't want a drink," Tannusen wasn't easily moved for a moment, but then he allowed himself to be helped up. Hold tight, though? Yes he could do that, and wrapped his arms around Cassian's ribs and shoulders, just... glad the priest was there. Solid. Safe.

"...That's the second time you've called me that," his voice was muffled, face still in the much shorter man's shoulder, neck sharply bowed and shoulders down. The pooka was shaking, he couldn't help it. Heart pounding, tears still flowing, he stepped inside when prompted but he did not let go.

"You're shakin' like a leaf, I'm makin' ye tea and ye'll like it." Into the house he was carefully ushered, the door and the reassuring sounds of the wards clicking behind them.

Into the living room, Tannusen was escorted to a loveseat, Cassian settling beside him, considering the other man was unwilling to actually let go here.

His fingers sought Tannusen's hair, stroking through it tenderly.

"The devil happened to ye...?"

That hair was a mess, just like Tannusen himself seemed to be right now. Still tangled from sleep, and then a motorcycle helmet had been shoved on and then yanked off in a rush a little while later. It still managed to feel like spun silk, somehow.

He shook his head, holding a little tighter like Cassian would just slip away. "I don't want to let go."

If he let go, he was convinced the human would disappear. Out into some lonely southwestern desert straight out of Tannusen's memories, perhaps. The sagebrush scent of his own usual soap wasn't helping with that fear going through him.

"... Tannusen, what happened?" It wasnt demanding. Soft and tender, he gently pulled the pooka to him, threading his fingers through his hair and delicately starting to untangle it.

"It's alright, luv. I ain't leavin' ye. Catch your breath now, everythin's alright."

Without pausing to consider what he was doing, Tannusen pulled back. Not away, because he didn't let go, but back. He needed Cassian close. As close as he could get him; he'd drag the priest right into his lap if allowed.

There wasn't an ounce of lewdness to be had, of course. Not like this.

He just wanted... he just needed to be closer somehow. Needed Cassian to be the only thing that was real.

Then into Tannusen's lap he would go, moving to cradle his head to him. Calloused but gentle hands in his hair, at his face, the smaller man murmuring tender words in Gaelic.

He understood. He wouldn't press then. Tannusen's secrets would remain his, and Cassian settled into the task of soothing the other man. No words in English anymore, all in Gaelic, stroking his hair and neck.

Edited 2017-03-09 01:39 (UTC)

Tannusen would admit only one thing, and that was only to make it clear that it wasn't, say, Ni fucking with him. "...A nightmare."

...

Yep, that sounded trivial as fuck to his own ears.

He had nightmares all the fucking time. He'd probably had plenty of them in this house, by now.

Never like that one. His fingers clenched against Cassian's back, still clinging like he was drowning.

But the tiger rested his head where Cassian placed it, trying to make himself relax, to make the tears stop. Listening to those words helped, maybe more than it should have considering he had no idea what was being said. But, he hadn't been lying when he'd purred into Cassian's ear about loving his voice.

It wasn't just a sexual thing. As caught up in feelings about the man as he was, there likely wasn't a single bit of Cassian that he didn't love.

"Aye, then." No judgement. A nightmare was reason enough for Cassian, when his own could be so horrific. He never stopped stroking his head and face, trailing along the shell of his ear and over a cheek bone.

The soft words began to slow and stop as Tannusen struggled to calm himself, and instead it was replaced by gentle, if reedy humming, an ancient and soothing tune.

Between Cassian's extremely long lifespan and the fact that he had a soul parasite that he only saw in his sleep, Tannusen hadn't exactly been surprised when he'd realized the priest was afflicted with nightmares.

But he was still embarrassed that one, no matter how awful, had him reacting like this. Not just the obvious panic attack going on, but that he'd fled across two towns to have it. Still, he continued to clutch at Cassian like he might vanish.

The ear Cassian brushed against twitched, but there was no complaint to be had. Not with the abundance of touch, and certainly not with the humming. Tannusen had never heard anything like that out of the priest before. He damn near held his breath, he was immediately listening so intently.

His thumb continued to stroke along the side of Tannusen's ear, since this seemed to be doing a pretty good job at easing him, along with the humming. He searched for a moment for something to do, before settling on something that had always calmed him, when he was young.

The words were, of course, in Gaelic, but it was one his mother had sung when he was a child, and his father as well. Both far better singers than their son, but it was in tune well enough.

Just thin and reedy and soft, a faint rasp in the edges of it. Just a prayer to Saint Brigid, a song of spring.

Old as the hills, but that of course didn't matter.

Now Tannusen really did hold his breath, at least for a few moments, pressing subtly up into the touch against his ear just like the cat he actually was.

Slowly, his hands started to relax against the human's back. Tension in general started to drain out, though he wasn't actually going to let go anytime soon.

It was really a haunting sounding song, despite the pleasant imagery in it, but it was impossible to deny that it was a soothing lullaby. The hand remained at the side of Tannusen's head, gently tracing along his ear, while the other continued to tenderly work the knots from his hair.

Feeling him begin to relax was a reward, and as Tannusen calmed, so did Cassian, managing a small, tired smile at the pooka as the song slowly drew to a close.

"Tis a good song... isn't it?"

"Yes. But I think anything you sang would sound good to me," the reply was completely heartfelt. One hand slowly rubbed up and down the priest's back, starting to tremble again -- this time from the exhaustion that flooded in everywhere the panic had receded.

Tannusen's head rested more fully against Cassian as his spine un-knit. He didn't get to see that smile, but he heard it in the man's voice. A different emotion threatened to choke him, warm and yet also uncomfortable because it was so restricted.

"I think you're a bit biased." He continued to pet his neck and ear, heaving a deep sigh. "Rest, Tannusen. Ye've spent yourself entirely. I'll not move, I promise."

He felt him slowly relax under him, which was a fairly good sign, all things considered, and the humming started anew again, another low, almost mournful tune.

"I am so biased," Tannusen wasn't even going to disagree with that. At the promise to stay put, he finally let his arms relax too. He just knit his fingers together behind Cassian, not willing to give up the contact even if he didn't need to hold onto him.

The tiger was as touch-starved as ever, soaking in every stroke of the priest's fingers. Every gentle tug against his scalp. It just made the other emotion grab ahold of him harder, though, and he'd felt it before. He knew exactly what it was.

"...I love you, Cassian."

He'd settle against him comfortably, making himself quite at home on Tannusen's lap, if only so he could actually tolerate sitting there for an extended period of time. May as well get comfortable, right?

The laugh that broke the humming was an awkward, almost tittering and breathless one, caught off guard as he was. Cleared with a flustered grunt too.

"... Love ye too, Tannusen."

The ear and cheek not currently pressed against Cassian immediately flushed and went hot. So did the ones against the priest, of course, but the other set was visible.

Of course, it couldn't just be a sweet moment. Not with a madman like Tannusen involved. "You shouldn't."

The danger Cassian was in just by associating with him...

Trench wasn't on this world. It was the only fact that had let him let his guard down. But, fresh in the wake of that nightmare... "You shouldn't."

"Too damn late." He pressed a kiss to his temple, trying to ease him down again.

"I'll love ye till I die and beyond that."

And that sounded entirely final.

"Rest, Tannusen. We're safe here. I promise."

Tannusen pulled his head away from Cassian's shirt, leaving damp and clinging fabric in his wake. He stared the priest right in the face, eyebrows knitting.

"You shouldn't."

That was all he could say, at present. Much as those words melted his heart, they also shot fear right into his veins.

"If I never did a thing I was told I ought not do, I'd never leave me goddamn house." After all pretty much everyone's told him to just fucking stay home more than once in his life.

"I do. I will. Don't argue with me, it won't change it and it never will."

Tannusen's hands have resumed grabbing onto Cassian' back, blunt fingernails digging into his shirt. The flush hadn't gone away, but he wasn't trying to hide it. His ears had, in particular, gone red.

He opened his mouth, then closed it again in silence.

It wasn't all angst going on in that tear-smudged expression of his.

Video/action for Tannusen

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