[video] two out of ten not recommended

[escape_artist]

[ What's good, Genessia? Time for everyone's favorite video genre; a confused and angry newcomer making a video post first thing in the morning after arrival. Thus, the background for this shot is the Bay.

The human kind of... slowly turns around in place a few times, like she's trying to get her bearings. ]

The fuck?!

[ She's an eloquent one, okay. Have you noticed yet? ]

Listen up, you stupid pocket dimension. I'm already from a pocket dimension that likes to nab people from all over the damn place and keep 'em. Total... everyone gets in and no one gets out situation, y'know? You can't just take a native from one shitty melting-pot dimension, and yank them into another!

It's against the rules!

...It's fuckin' rude!

I mean for fuck's sake, you coulda at least given me some fucking warning so I could grab some shit first.

What a wasted opportunity. A real shit-show, is what this is. I ain't impressed with your amateur hour garbage, up your fuckin' game. Have some dignity. Pride in the craft, or whatever.

Also, the fuck is this egg for? None of your 'welcome to shitsville' trash said a damn thing about it. Update your shit!

Comments

Video

[k2so]

Believe, I was just as thrilled when I first woke up here. No one has no idea who brought us here or why and the eggs are a recent thing too.

[escape_artist]

Man, what the shit.

[ Kay himself doesn't even make Akara bat an eye. ]

So even you guys who've been here longer don't know what's up with these eggs?

[k2so]

[That's oddly refreshing.]

I've been here only a few months, it's not that long but you get used to the oddities. Some people got split in two versions of themselves once, this is tame in comparison.

[escape_artist]

[ There's so much weird shit on her world, Akara just doesn't even think about it. ]

Split into two versions? The fuck?

[ Maaaan, on the one hand she's glad she missed it. On the other hand, two Akaras could have stolen so much shit. Just picture it. No one's fucking sock drawer would have been safe. ]

[k2so]

It's fixed now. [Kay makes a vague gesture with his hand, as if to say it's unimportant.]

It had something to do with water poisoning, it made more sense at the time.

[escape_artist]

Oh, good. Lemme guess... some fuckass tinkering with shit they shouldn't've been tinkering with. As usual.

[k2so]

Got in one. I'm always amazed at how creative people gets when it comes to ruin things.

[escape_artist]

Well you know, always gotta try to one-up the last dickhead.

[k2so]

Considering the people of this city, the next step is close to causing the apocalypse.

[escape_artist]

It's the nature of this kinda place. Only the real crazy ones make it for long.

[ You can take that right from Akara, as a life-long resident of a place that is, if anything, even nuttier than this world. It's had far more time to get its momentum rolling, after all. ]

[k2so]

True. You sounds familiar with it.

[escape_artist]

Well, I oughtta be.

[ Real helpful answer, Akara. ]

[k2so]

How so?

[Yeah lady, give him more data pleas.e Droids love data.]

[escape_artist]

My world's like this one. Yanks people from all over the multiverse and then keeps 'em.

Been at it a lot longer than this dump.

[k2so]

I didn't know that world like this were so common around the multiverse. No wonders you are used to weird.

[escape_artist]

I doubt they're real common. This one's just a cheap knock-off.

[k2so]

Since it's impossible to determine which one of the world is the first or even the most important one, I think all of them have the same level of value and importance.

What's yours called?

video;

[unhappy]

They obviously can, they do it all the time.

[ This person curses so much it's kind of amusing at how unnecessary it is. ]

[escape_artist]

It's still fuckin' rude.

Stop being lazy shits and steal people from real worlds.

[unhappy]

Not denying that.

I'm not an expert but it seems easier to kidnap people from real worlds to me.

[ Like all you need is yourself and maybe a zip tie to do it. ]

[escape_artist]

I ain't no robey but, I gotta think there'd be some extra stupid magic involved in taking people from one place like this to put them in another. Pretty sure there's more magic involved in Krontis not letting people out than there is, say, on good 'ol forever-popular-as-fuck Earth.

Kidnap more of those fucks, stop shitting in your own back yard, that's what I say. Next thing you know Krontis gonna steal half of you shits and I bet this amateur-hour pocket dimension won't even have a response for it. Krontis been doing it longer, I can about guarantee it.

Anyway, I know they all say it but fuck it, when else is a native gonna get to say this? I got shit to do, and it ain't here.

And it ain't involve no fucking eggs, either. What kinda extra reaching bullshit...

video

[feckinboomstick]

Aye, yes, cursin' at it directly will definitely fix it.

Last I checked most pocket dimensions were fully sentient. Caught this one cursin' at the BBC once, tis true.

[escape_artist]

Sure thing my guy, I'll give it a real proper curtsy and some pleases and thank yous and that'll fix it all, won't it.

Ain't never done shit, that's what.

[feckinboomstick]

I don't believe it can hear ye, ma'am.

What cuz if it could I imagine there's a few people who'd not be here anymore.

[LIKE HIMSELF]

Rather, you're just a very unlucky person.

[escape_artist]

Look I know for a fact whoever's in charge of this place ain't gonna hear a damn thing I say about it.

That's how this shit works.

Think that's gonna stop me from being a loud-ass shit about it though?

[ The answer is no. No, it's not. ]

I'm a native to a place like this. Unlucky's not gonna cut it.

[feckinboomstick]

I mean I can give ye a few numbers of important people to scream at. Won't help ye much but they're a great load of tossers and I wouldn't mind knowin' they've been inconvenienced.

Aye. I see then.

I'll not be takin' ye to next weeks dice game then.

[escape_artist]

Fuck numbers, gimme locations.

[ She's not kidding, either. Black Rabbit's gotta do what the Black Rabbit's gotta do.

Someone's getting their houses redecorated in their sleep.

Also, probably rifled through.

Bitch try her. ]

[feckinboomstick]

I would but twould be a poor idea to make conversation with the person I'm referencin'.

[escape_artist]

Conversation's something you do with people who fucking listen.

Inventive graffiti that glows in the dark is much better.

video;

[gamerrep]

I don't think if someone wants to kidnap someone they would give them the heads up so they could grab things.

[That would make no sense, at least to her.]

[escape_artist]

Well no, but it would've at least been a novel courtesy.

Though not arriving by stumbling straight into the busy central square is something, I guess.

[ New arrivals had always made such great pick-pocketing targets, disoriented and confused as they were. She'd leave them alone, but someone brand new to Krontis had more resources provided by the city than any locally-born descendant of arrivals long past ever did.

They'd be fine. Her and her people still needed to eat, though. ]

I'm still extra confused by this egg. Are we supposed to like, I dunno, take care of it or some shit?

[ Such was the timing of her arrival that it had ended up in the damn pod with her. ]

[gamerrep]

With the egg, I don't know, maybe. I am I am looking after mine because... I don't know.

[She just did it. She couldn't really explain it.]

I mean people don't have to if they don't want to though.

[escape_artist]

I mean I'll look after it, I guess, if no one else has a clue either. It just better not have any high fuckin' standards 'cuz I ain't even got a job, yet.

Ugh, a job.

[gamerrep]

I don't think an egg requires high standards. It's an egg.

I don't think having a job is so bad. I get to play games all day with mine.

[escape_artist]

Nah it ain't hard, just fuckin' annoying. Had a good gig on Krontis and now I gotta start over.

[gamerrep]

I'm sure it won't be as hard since in a way you have qualifications that might make people more likely to hire you.