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Renunciation [Text, Action, Backdated to 6/18]
[Text OTA]
[There's no easy way to say this. Might as well get directly to the point.]
This second spirit attack revealed that the pokemon that we've been given are as real as the sprites; that is, the majority of the population without necklaces.
[He considers adding an "I'm sorry", but decides to leave it at that. He'll add something cheerier.]
If anyone has been drained by said spirits and would like aid, let me know. I should be at one's disposal soon.
[So long as he's talking about painful truths, he may as well get some others out of the way.]
To Satsuki: Thank you for indulging me in our pokemon bouts. To my chagrin, I never had any, and so cannot continue. I look forward to filling the time in other ways.
To Anastasia: Can you meet me in the Central Park to talk?
To Sycamore: Are you well enough to see me in the Park, around evening? There's some things I'd like to discuss.
[Action, closed.]
"I'm turning you all loose. Do good deeds. Stay out of sight, especially mine. Don't get caught. All right, go on. You're free. Remember, do good deeds.
No, I'm not joking. No, I'm not testing you. No, you haven't done anything wrong. You are wrong; empty. I can't bear you. Go."
[That's the gist of what he remembers of his parting address to his fake pokemon. It was a blur. There was probably more; raised voices, desperate appeals, pained confusion. He had to remind himself, over and over again, that they were fakes. Mere dolls. Any emotions they appeared to display were just that: appearances. Couldn't be trusted.
Still, he had to hand it to whatever fashioned these dolls. They were incredibly life-like, enough to fool him for almost two years. They were severely so when he divulged the truth of the matter to them: that they were nothing to him but pretend pokemon.
The look on their faces.
Gengar always did like to haunt. He supposes those faces will haunt him for a very long time. He couldn't bear to look at those forlorn expressions for another instant. Ted turned his back and walked away.
Somehow he'd done it, and was now profoundly alone. He felt empty inside and out. Even his shadow felt curiously absent, for Gengar--rather, that fake doll pretending to be a Gengar--had occupied it so often. He's heard of phantom limbs, or a strange sensation of a part of the body lost. Is there such a thing as a phantom shadow?
He'd laugh if it weren't so pathetic. To think all this time he'd been a hypocrite. He wanted so desperately to give people repentant sorrow. To bring them to unpleasant truths for the sake of true joy. And he, loving and waltzing with his bestial dolls as if it were the most natural thing in the world! No wonder he still has the void. Two years and he still hasn't learned his lesson. He wonders if he ever will. When will he stop giving his heart to the world? When will he stop living, or dying, in vanity?
His guilt increased at compound interest. Curse it all, he still missed them, and he shouldn't. It's his own fault for ever getting attached to such soulless creatures in the first place. Every shred of sadness is yet one more indictment of his weakness. Even so, his heart was sunk. Ted wondered if this is how Job felt.
A ridiculous comparison. Job was a righteous man; he wasn't. Job lost far more than mere dolls. And even Job had his friends. Bad ones, yes, but they were still with him--
His friends!
Ted felt himself an arrant ass. Here he is, drained from Sycamore's operation, almost driven to tears for the sake of toys! How could he forget the best thing he had; the precious, incredible thing Genessia had given him that he never had before! He should turn to them; tell them how much they mean to him...
...with text. He's not well enough for a video call. Besides, the written word can say it clearer. Better.
Private Texts
Anastasia
Dear, demure princess Anastasia. Despite your royal lineage, I confess a coarse, brotherly affection. I think that's why I feel so compelled to annoy you so often, as older brothers are meant to do. I apologize for not spending as much time with you as I ought; yet I know Star (Satsuki) more than makes up for it with her own tutelage. I'd say you've almost been as lucky as I have in finding people who take care of you. Pray add me to their number. I'd like nothing better than to bear your burdens any way I can. That is, after all, the business of the children of God. May the Omnipotence watch over you most of all.
Bracken
You're one of the kindest people I've had the pleasure to meet, Bracken. You made it out safely from all that hubbub with the spirits, haven't you? I know from experience you're no slouch when it comes to danger. More than your skill with magic, I think, is your gentleness of spirit. It's a very rare gift, and I'm glad to be on the receiving end of it, as I'm sure many others are. I hope to one day unravel the mystery of your origins, if you don't mind my prying. But even if we never know, I'm very pleased to have known yourself.
Moon (Koishi)
The fairy I met on Christmas. How appropriate! So many things started because of you. My meetings with Star and Strength, for one. For one whose mind is so allegedly closed, your heart is admirably open. I know we've had rough patches, to say the least. Suppose there might be something to the enmity between Youkai and man. And yet with you it's such an easy thing to forget. Your mortality worries me, at times, and yet you've held on in Genessia longer than anyone else I know. Of course, I haven't forgotten your supremely good deed at The Barrier. You do, I confess, tempt me towards lunacy on occasion, but on the whole I rather enjoy your reflected light. Pray continue to be there during those rumored "dark nights of the soul"; God knows I'll need it.
Konoka
When I saw you blow those zombies down like a poorly-built pig's house, I knew your shop was the place to go for all my occultist needs. You've been an invaluable aid in my amateur crime-fighting crusade. It's nice to have someone to count on should I or another lose our limbs. You're such a sunny sort of girl, it's hard to imagine you endured Everglade for any length of time. I'm sorry the award for "Best Dancer" went to another; if you'd like to win next year, I'm happy to teach. Try not to sell your soul to the devil or something in the meantime, all right? No Faustian bargains, now.
Magician (Namur)
I've read one, generally speaking, meets two sorts of friends in order. The first is an alter ego; someone so much like one's self one can't help it. The second is a perfect contrarian, so nearly right yet so very wrong. It's just my schoolie luck I skipped straight to the second. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine getting along with a pirate, of all people. It is a constant temptation to gut you like the fish you are; I hope my heroic restraint has not gone unnoticed. How can you be such an ass yet remain so lovable? You're as infuriating as a woman. Indeed, enjoying your impression of what women sound like is something no one should go without.
I wonder if, during your many travels, you ever met someone new, yet felt you'd known them all your life? A sort of personal deja vu? There's something about you, Magician, that's very familiar. It must be the conspiracy of destiny; the odds are too low, the worlds we've been in too estranged, for any other explanation. I think we are fated to love and fight each other forever, if only because there's not much distinction between those two with you. I'd apologize, but I didn't make the universe and it's not my fault. Its not the kind of thing I'm inclined to be sorry about anyway. One day I'm sure we'll meet the one who did and get an answer.
SansDeath
I count your reappearance as one of the most miraculous, joyous days of my life. I can't tell you how good it is to have your grinning guise back. You are and continue to be the sanest skeleton I've ever met. I could hardly do better than to be as human as you are skeletal; for my skeleton, like any man's, is a laughing, hilarious creature, just as you are. Indeed, for a monster you're precipitously near humanity. Really, coming back is nothing less than what you owe the world. We've been sans a Sans far too long.
Strength (Satori)
I can hardly believe my double fortune in having not one, but two fairies. And such a congenial fairy, at that! You may be the only one in Genessia who talks more than I do. Of course, I could never mind it. You're one of those strange people with a strange quality: having something to say. I'm very flattered you're interested enough in my mind to want to hear its silly sayings. How you psychics endure sifting through one's muddled mind I'll never know. I'm sorry if I upset you; but then, you're at your most comedic in such a mood. Please forgive me; it's a very hard temptation.
Sonico
The awards you won came as no surprise to me, I'm sorry to say. So many women come to this world, yet when I think of "Woman", as an archetype, you and your reliable femininity come to mind. You couldn't be more of a girl if Venus herself came and said so. Almost too precious to tease. Whether celibacy or marriage lies in your future--white or red roses--I'm sure you'll handle it with all the grace and dignity your sex is so well known for.
Star (Satsuki)
I'm pleased to note that, when it comes to those great dual forces: Give and Take, you're entirely on the side of the former. You've given Anastasia so much, to say nothing of myself. Fencing lessons, the means to combat great evils, even hope itself in a pinch. I don't wonder how so many are drawn to you, giving and showing interest as you do. Thank you for your unending stream of charity. Such selflessness is sure to make your future husband and children very happy one day.
Sync
It's a delight to work with you and watch you grow, day by day. I swear I can sometimes hear you grow lying awake at night. I first noticed your deeds when I saw how easily you'd brought a killer to justice; one that, in fact, had given me no end of trouble. I'm incredibly grateful for your expertise in the art of man-tracking; it's saved me many a tedious hour. Your capacity for good is enviable; I'd like nothing better than to help you attain it. Let's continue to work side-by-side, in a brotherly fashion. Indeed, you're like the little brother I never had.
Sycamore
I've so enjoyed our weekly meetings and talks, Professor. It's a pleasure to converse with one so learned and yet not the least bit jaded. I wish I could've found a more elegant solution to your dilemma; have you been recovering all right? You needn't worry about my own state. I should be right as rain in time. Your own aid--but what am I saying? We can speak of all this in person.
Tony
I hope you've been making lots of friends at the Children's Home; Anastasia has told me about you, in fact, so thank you for that. There are a lot of girls in the world who could use, I'm sure, a young man as heroic and capable as yourself. Don't think I haven't noticed what you've been getting up to. You must've been an absolute terror for your parents! If ever I get charged by the doctor for ulcers, I'm footing you the bill. Truthfully I can't be too upset; you're much the same as I was at that age. Promise me you'll be more careful than I was then, at least. I'd at least like to see what kind of man you'll grow into. I'm sure it'll be very fine.
To All
To think, without you all I may never have known the upside to being kidnapped. You have my love and are in my prayers always.
[Action, closed]
[This was a relatively simpler job. By now all the killers had been cleared off the boards, leaving him to handle the next worst thing: potential murderers. In this case, large lizards who had made a home where they shouldn't.
The day had been extremely rough on Ted, so he's happy for an easier bounty. He knew where to find his target, it was simply a matter of displacing them. They snarled, hissed, and bit at him, but the life-fibers thwarted their every offense. Soon enough, he'd stowed them all in the void and put them back in the forest to do whatever giant lizards did when they weren't squatting. The job certainly implied that they were to be killed, but he didn't have it in him.
Another job, another payment, all to protect dolls from more violent dolls. He thought returning to a sense of normalcy--or however normal it is dealing with riotous reptiles--would bring him back around to his usual state.
It didn't work. Perhaps he's just tired.]
[There's no easy way to say this. Might as well get directly to the point.]
This second spirit attack revealed that the pokemon that we've been given are as real as the sprites; that is, the majority of the population without necklaces.
[He considers adding an "I'm sorry", but decides to leave it at that. He'll add something cheerier.]
If anyone has been drained by said spirits and would like aid, let me know. I should be at one's disposal soon.
[So long as he's talking about painful truths, he may as well get some others out of the way.]
To Satsuki: Thank you for indulging me in our pokemon bouts. To my chagrin, I never had any, and so cannot continue. I look forward to filling the time in other ways.
To Anastasia: Can you meet me in the Central Park to talk?
To Sycamore: Are you well enough to see me in the Park, around evening? There's some things I'd like to discuss.
[Action, closed.]
"I'm turning you all loose. Do good deeds. Stay out of sight, especially mine. Don't get caught. All right, go on. You're free. Remember, do good deeds.
No, I'm not joking. No, I'm not testing you. No, you haven't done anything wrong. You are wrong; empty. I can't bear you. Go."
[That's the gist of what he remembers of his parting address to his fake pokemon. It was a blur. There was probably more; raised voices, desperate appeals, pained confusion. He had to remind himself, over and over again, that they were fakes. Mere dolls. Any emotions they appeared to display were just that: appearances. Couldn't be trusted.
Still, he had to hand it to whatever fashioned these dolls. They were incredibly life-like, enough to fool him for almost two years. They were severely so when he divulged the truth of the matter to them: that they were nothing to him but pretend pokemon.
The look on their faces.
Gengar always did like to haunt. He supposes those faces will haunt him for a very long time. He couldn't bear to look at those forlorn expressions for another instant. Ted turned his back and walked away.
Somehow he'd done it, and was now profoundly alone. He felt empty inside and out. Even his shadow felt curiously absent, for Gengar--rather, that fake doll pretending to be a Gengar--had occupied it so often. He's heard of phantom limbs, or a strange sensation of a part of the body lost. Is there such a thing as a phantom shadow?
He'd laugh if it weren't so pathetic. To think all this time he'd been a hypocrite. He wanted so desperately to give people repentant sorrow. To bring them to unpleasant truths for the sake of true joy. And he, loving and waltzing with his bestial dolls as if it were the most natural thing in the world! No wonder he still has the void. Two years and he still hasn't learned his lesson. He wonders if he ever will. When will he stop giving his heart to the world? When will he stop living, or dying, in vanity?
His guilt increased at compound interest. Curse it all, he still missed them, and he shouldn't. It's his own fault for ever getting attached to such soulless creatures in the first place. Every shred of sadness is yet one more indictment of his weakness. Even so, his heart was sunk. Ted wondered if this is how Job felt.
A ridiculous comparison. Job was a righteous man; he wasn't. Job lost far more than mere dolls. And even Job had his friends. Bad ones, yes, but they were still with him--
His friends!
Ted felt himself an arrant ass. Here he is, drained from Sycamore's operation, almost driven to tears for the sake of toys! How could he forget the best thing he had; the precious, incredible thing Genessia had given him that he never had before! He should turn to them; tell them how much they mean to him...
...with text. He's not well enough for a video call. Besides, the written word can say it clearer. Better.
Private Texts
Anastasia
Dear, demure princess Anastasia. Despite your royal lineage, I confess a coarse, brotherly affection. I think that's why I feel so compelled to annoy you so often, as older brothers are meant to do. I apologize for not spending as much time with you as I ought; yet I know Star (Satsuki) more than makes up for it with her own tutelage. I'd say you've almost been as lucky as I have in finding people who take care of you. Pray add me to their number. I'd like nothing better than to bear your burdens any way I can. That is, after all, the business of the children of God. May the Omnipotence watch over you most of all.
Bracken
You're one of the kindest people I've had the pleasure to meet, Bracken. You made it out safely from all that hubbub with the spirits, haven't you? I know from experience you're no slouch when it comes to danger. More than your skill with magic, I think, is your gentleness of spirit. It's a very rare gift, and I'm glad to be on the receiving end of it, as I'm sure many others are. I hope to one day unravel the mystery of your origins, if you don't mind my prying. But even if we never know, I'm very pleased to have known yourself.
Moon (Koishi)
The fairy I met on Christmas. How appropriate! So many things started because of you. My meetings with Star and Strength, for one. For one whose mind is so allegedly closed, your heart is admirably open. I know we've had rough patches, to say the least. Suppose there might be something to the enmity between Youkai and man. And yet with you it's such an easy thing to forget. Your mortality worries me, at times, and yet you've held on in Genessia longer than anyone else I know. Of course, I haven't forgotten your supremely good deed at The Barrier. You do, I confess, tempt me towards lunacy on occasion, but on the whole I rather enjoy your reflected light. Pray continue to be there during those rumored "dark nights of the soul"; God knows I'll need it.
Konoka
When I saw you blow those zombies down like a poorly-built pig's house, I knew your shop was the place to go for all my occultist needs. You've been an invaluable aid in my amateur crime-fighting crusade. It's nice to have someone to count on should I or another lose our limbs. You're such a sunny sort of girl, it's hard to imagine you endured Everglade for any length of time. I'm sorry the award for "Best Dancer" went to another; if you'd like to win next year, I'm happy to teach. Try not to sell your soul to the devil or something in the meantime, all right? No Faustian bargains, now.
Magician (Namur)
I've read one, generally speaking, meets two sorts of friends in order. The first is an alter ego; someone so much like one's self one can't help it. The second is a perfect contrarian, so nearly right yet so very wrong. It's just my schoolie luck I skipped straight to the second. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine getting along with a pirate, of all people. It is a constant temptation to gut you like the fish you are; I hope my heroic restraint has not gone unnoticed. How can you be such an ass yet remain so lovable? You're as infuriating as a woman. Indeed, enjoying your impression of what women sound like is something no one should go without.
I wonder if, during your many travels, you ever met someone new, yet felt you'd known them all your life? A sort of personal deja vu? There's something about you, Magician, that's very familiar. It must be the conspiracy of destiny; the odds are too low, the worlds we've been in too estranged, for any other explanation. I think we are fated to love and fight each other forever, if only because there's not much distinction between those two with you. I'd apologize, but I didn't make the universe and it's not my fault. Its not the kind of thing I'm inclined to be sorry about anyway. One day I'm sure we'll meet the one who did and get an answer.
Sans
I count your reappearance as one of the most miraculous, joyous days of my life. I can't tell you how good it is to have your grinning guise back. You are and continue to be the sanest skeleton I've ever met. I could hardly do better than to be as human as you are skeletal; for my skeleton, like any man's, is a laughing, hilarious creature, just as you are. Indeed, for a monster you're precipitously near humanity. Really, coming back is nothing less than what you owe the world. We've been sans a Sans far too long.
Strength (Satori)
I can hardly believe my double fortune in having not one, but two fairies. And such a congenial fairy, at that! You may be the only one in Genessia who talks more than I do. Of course, I could never mind it. You're one of those strange people with a strange quality: having something to say. I'm very flattered you're interested enough in my mind to want to hear its silly sayings. How you psychics endure sifting through one's muddled mind I'll never know. I'm sorry if I upset you; but then, you're at your most comedic in such a mood. Please forgive me; it's a very hard temptation.
Sonico
The awards you won came as no surprise to me, I'm sorry to say. So many women come to this world, yet when I think of "Woman", as an archetype, you and your reliable femininity come to mind. You couldn't be more of a girl if Venus herself came and said so. Almost too precious to tease. Whether celibacy or marriage lies in your future--white or red roses--I'm sure you'll handle it with all the grace and dignity your sex is so well known for.
Star (Satsuki)
I'm pleased to note that, when it comes to those great dual forces: Give and Take, you're entirely on the side of the former. You've given Anastasia so much, to say nothing of myself. Fencing lessons, the means to combat great evils, even hope itself in a pinch. I don't wonder how so many are drawn to you, giving and showing interest as you do. Thank you for your unending stream of charity. Such selflessness is sure to make your future husband and children very happy one day.
Sync
It's a delight to work with you and watch you grow, day by day. I swear I can sometimes hear you grow lying awake at night. I first noticed your deeds when I saw how easily you'd brought a killer to justice; one that, in fact, had given me no end of trouble. I'm incredibly grateful for your expertise in the art of man-tracking; it's saved me many a tedious hour. Your capacity for good is enviable; I'd like nothing better than to help you attain it. Let's continue to work side-by-side, in a brotherly fashion. Indeed, you're like the little brother I never had.
Sycamore
I've so enjoyed our weekly meetings and talks, Professor. It's a pleasure to converse with one so learned and yet not the least bit jaded. I wish I could've found a more elegant solution to your dilemma; have you been recovering all right? You needn't worry about my own state. I should be right as rain in time. Your own aid--but what am I saying? We can speak of all this in person.
Tony
I hope you've been making lots of friends at the Children's Home; Anastasia has told me about you, in fact, so thank you for that. There are a lot of girls in the world who could use, I'm sure, a young man as heroic and capable as yourself. Don't think I haven't noticed what you've been getting up to. You must've been an absolute terror for your parents! If ever I get charged by the doctor for ulcers, I'm footing you the bill. Truthfully I can't be too upset; you're much the same as I was at that age. Promise me you'll be more careful than I was then, at least. I'd at least like to see what kind of man you'll grow into. I'm sure it'll be very fine.
To All
To think, without you all I may never have known the upside to being kidnapped. You have my love and are in my prayers always.
[Action, closed]
[This was a relatively simpler job. By now all the killers had been cleared off the boards, leaving him to handle the next worst thing: potential murderers. In this case, large lizards who had made a home where they shouldn't.
The day had been extremely rough on Ted, so he's happy for an easier bounty. He knew where to find his target, it was simply a matter of displacing them. They snarled, hissed, and bit at him, but the life-fibers thwarted their every offense. Soon enough, he'd stowed them all in the void and put them back in the forest to do whatever giant lizards did when they weren't squatting. The job certainly implied that they were to be killed, but he didn't have it in him.
Another job, another payment, all to protect dolls from more violent dolls. He thought returning to a sense of normalcy--or however normal it is dealing with riotous reptiles--would bring him back around to his usual state.
It didn't work. Perhaps he's just tired.]