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Newspaper - Sunday Edition
[Did you subscribe to The Genessia Tribune? Did you even remotely wish you had a newspaper or some other form of media to refer to for news, weather, and current events? Then you're in luck! There's a paperboy riding through the streets of Genessia flinging newspapers onto doorsteps or, if you're unlucky, through your window. Even remote locations in the other cities will still get a paper if one of the residents ever wanted one. The Paperboy is just that dedicated.]
[And if you're one of the following people, and you happen to subscribe to the newspaper, the Paperboy may or may not have flung the newspaper through that person's window and/or broke something in the area: Weiss Schnee, and Jim Moriarty.]
[After the Paperboy completes his rounds for the week, he has an unfortunate encounter with a pepper bomb trapped fire hydrant, and is left dead in the streets.]
Singles Ads
Perverted Redhead
TAM seeks harem of five women or more for blatant sexism shenanigans. This noted breast connoisseur's favorite food is mackerel, and hobbies include screaming like a dying whale at all hours of the day, reading books, writing, mysteries, dreaming of having a harem, fake-out groping then chickening out because of actually being a gentleman sort of, and just being an all around loser. He's the official Number One Ranked Dumbass by the SSS Nazi Brigade.
Bear-Slaying Geek
SWM age 17 seeks SF age 16-19, must be cute. Interested in video games and nothing else. Favorite foods include everything under the sun. Call me to hear my story about killing a helpless giant bear all by my lonesome!
Musician Royalty
SM seeks F for many enchanted evenings. Knows how to treat a girl like a princess, and when it's time for pizza and rock 'n roll. Especially fond of women who are 'pleasantly plump.
Super Dead!
SWM seeks pretty much everything under the sun. Enjoys being horrible, listening to horrible music, and eating horrible food and also ravioli. Disease-resistant. Will take anything he can get his hands on. Excels at exorcising the living.
Are you a lonely sadsack? Maybe placing an ad will change your luck! Fill out the form below and send it in to see your ad in next week's paper! Names will not be shown, so be sure to include your radio frequency number. Who knows? You might meet someone dreamy! Or a creepy stalker! Try your luck today!
Photo of the Month
Rumors have begun to circulate about the villainous credibility of the skeletal deviant known as Skeletor after the release of this photograph:
Skeletor, who was responsible for the abduction of Fayren's previous guardian, has been considered a powerful threat in the five cities. "I never knew he had a soft side," commented pet shop owner and cat enthusiast Stephen Wagner. "Maybe we've been misjudging him all this time. His kitty is so cute!"
Pokemon Craze Gets Crazier
Catching Pokemon seems to be on everyone's minds. But what happens when the Pokemon start trying to catch Pokemon? Numerous reports have been filed claiming that various bipedal Pokemon have been attacking trainers and trying to steal their Pokemon. A Duskull with legs was even reported to be seen soaring through the sky on what was believed to be an Aerodactyl, and appears to be controlling the other Pokemon raiders. A Pokemon Center raided by a Stinkor remains closed due to smelling like a thousand dumpsters and making countless Pokemon and Nurse Joys cry.
Your Weather Forecast
Genessia City
*Monday, May 12 - Isolated thunderstorms. High 79 F / Low 65 F
*Tuesday, May 13 - Partly cloudy. High 74 F / Low 56 F
*Wednesday, May 14 - Mostly cloudy. High 60 F / Low 58 F
*Thursday, May 15 - Scattered thunderstorms. High 64 F / Low 57 F
*Friday, May 16 - Thundershowers. High 66 F / Low 55 F
*Saturday, May 17 - Partly cloudy. High 65 F / Low 54 F
*Sunday, May 18 - Partly cloudy. High 65 F / Low 53 F
Attleton
*Monday, May 12 - Scattered thunderstorms. High 65 F / Low 46 F
*Tuesday, May 13 - Partly cloudy. High 65 F / Low 45 F
*Wednesday, May 14 - Partly cloudy. High 69 F / Low 45 F
*Thursday, May 15 - Partly cloudy. High 68 F / Low 43 F
*Friday, May 16 - Partly cloudy. High 70 F / Low 48 F
*Saturday, May 17 - Mostly cloudy. High 71 F / Low 48 F
*Sunday, May 18 - Partly cloudy. High 69 F / Low 51 F
Everglade
*Monday, May 12 - Partly cloudy. High 81 F / Low 50 F
*Tuesday, May 13 - Partly cloudy. High 84 F / Low 54 F
*Wednesday, May 14 - Partly cloudy. High 85 F / Low 55 F
*Thursday, May 15 - Mostly sunny. High 86 F / Low 56 F
*Friday, May 16 - Partly cloudy. High 84 F / Low 54 F
*Saturday, May 17 - Few showers. High 70 F / Low 51 F
*Sunday, May 18 - Partly cloudy. High 68 F / Low 49 F
Fayren
*Monday, May 12 - Showers. High 60 F / Low 45 F
*Tuesday, May 13 - Showers. High 62 F / Low 45 F
*Wednesday, May 14 - Partly cloudy. High 65 F / Low 49 F
*Thursday, May 15 - Partly cloudy. High 68 F / Low 49 F
*Friday, May 16 - Partly cloudy. High 67 F / Low 49 F
*Saturday, May 17 - Partly cloudy. High 68 F / Low 50 F
*Sunday, May 18 - Partly cloudy. High 67 F / Low 50 F
Nova City
*Monday, May 12 - PM Showers/Strong Winds. High 70 F / Low 62 F
*Tuesday, May 13 - Showers. High 72 F / Low 63 F
*Wednesday, May 14 - Partly cloudy. High 81 F / Low 64 F
*Thursday, May 15 - Rain. High 72 F / Low 62 F
*Friday, May 16 - Partly cloudy. High 75 F / Low 60 F
*Saturday, May 17 - Partly cloudy. High 75 F / Low 60 F
*Sunday, May 18 - Partly cloudy. High 75 F / Low 60 F
(OOC: Would you like to submit a story, or be featured in this paper? Let me know!)
[And if you're one of the following people, and you happen to subscribe to the newspaper, the Paperboy may or may not have flung the newspaper through that person's window and/or broke something in the area: Weiss Schnee, and Jim Moriarty.]
[After the Paperboy completes his rounds for the week, he has an unfortunate encounter with a pepper bomb trapped fire hydrant, and is left dead in the streets.]
Singles Ads
Perverted Redhead
TAM seeks harem of five women or more for blatant sexism shenanigans. This noted breast connoisseur's favorite food is mackerel, and hobbies include screaming like a dying whale at all hours of the day, reading books, writing, mysteries, dreaming of having a harem, fake-out groping then chickening out because of actually being a gentleman sort of, and just being an all around loser. He's the official Number One Ranked Dumbass by the SSS Nazi Brigade.
Bear-Slaying Geek
SWM age 17 seeks SF age 16-19, must be cute. Interested in video games and nothing else. Favorite foods include everything under the sun. Call me to hear my story about killing a helpless giant bear all by my lonesome!
Musician Royalty
SM seeks F for many enchanted evenings. Knows how to treat a girl like a princess, and when it's time for pizza and rock 'n roll. Especially fond of women who are 'pleasantly plump.
Super Dead!
SWM seeks pretty much everything under the sun. Enjoys being horrible, listening to horrible music, and eating horrible food and also ravioli. Disease-resistant. Will take anything he can get his hands on. Excels at exorcising the living.
Are you a lonely sadsack? Maybe placing an ad will change your luck! Fill out the form below and send it in to see your ad in next week's paper! Names will not be shown, so be sure to include your radio frequency number. Who knows? You might meet someone dreamy! Or a creepy stalker! Try your luck today!
Photo of the Month
Rumors have begun to circulate about the villainous credibility of the skeletal deviant known as Skeletor after the release of this photograph:
Skeletor, who was responsible for the abduction of Fayren's previous guardian, has been considered a powerful threat in the five cities. "I never knew he had a soft side," commented pet shop owner and cat enthusiast Stephen Wagner. "Maybe we've been misjudging him all this time. His kitty is so cute!"
Pokemon Craze Gets Crazier
Catching Pokemon seems to be on everyone's minds. But what happens when the Pokemon start trying to catch Pokemon? Numerous reports have been filed claiming that various bipedal Pokemon have been attacking trainers and trying to steal their Pokemon. A Duskull with legs was even reported to be seen soaring through the sky on what was believed to be an Aerodactyl, and appears to be controlling the other Pokemon raiders. A Pokemon Center raided by a Stinkor remains closed due to smelling like a thousand dumpsters and making countless Pokemon and Nurse Joys cry.
Your Weather Forecast
Genessia City
*Monday, May 12 - Isolated thunderstorms. High 79 F / Low 65 F
*Tuesday, May 13 - Partly cloudy. High 74 F / Low 56 F
*Wednesday, May 14 - Mostly cloudy. High 60 F / Low 58 F
*Thursday, May 15 - Scattered thunderstorms. High 64 F / Low 57 F
*Friday, May 16 - Thundershowers. High 66 F / Low 55 F
*Saturday, May 17 - Partly cloudy. High 65 F / Low 54 F
*Sunday, May 18 - Partly cloudy. High 65 F / Low 53 F
Attleton
*Monday, May 12 - Scattered thunderstorms. High 65 F / Low 46 F
*Tuesday, May 13 - Partly cloudy. High 65 F / Low 45 F
*Wednesday, May 14 - Partly cloudy. High 69 F / Low 45 F
*Thursday, May 15 - Partly cloudy. High 68 F / Low 43 F
*Friday, May 16 - Partly cloudy. High 70 F / Low 48 F
*Saturday, May 17 - Mostly cloudy. High 71 F / Low 48 F
*Sunday, May 18 - Partly cloudy. High 69 F / Low 51 F
Everglade
*Monday, May 12 - Partly cloudy. High 81 F / Low 50 F
*Tuesday, May 13 - Partly cloudy. High 84 F / Low 54 F
*Wednesday, May 14 - Partly cloudy. High 85 F / Low 55 F
*Thursday, May 15 - Mostly sunny. High 86 F / Low 56 F
*Friday, May 16 - Partly cloudy. High 84 F / Low 54 F
*Saturday, May 17 - Few showers. High 70 F / Low 51 F
*Sunday, May 18 - Partly cloudy. High 68 F / Low 49 F
Fayren
*Monday, May 12 - Showers. High 60 F / Low 45 F
*Tuesday, May 13 - Showers. High 62 F / Low 45 F
*Wednesday, May 14 - Partly cloudy. High 65 F / Low 49 F
*Thursday, May 15 - Partly cloudy. High 68 F / Low 49 F
*Friday, May 16 - Partly cloudy. High 67 F / Low 49 F
*Saturday, May 17 - Partly cloudy. High 68 F / Low 50 F
*Sunday, May 18 - Partly cloudy. High 67 F / Low 50 F
Nova City
*Monday, May 12 - PM Showers/Strong Winds. High 70 F / Low 62 F
*Tuesday, May 13 - Showers. High 72 F / Low 63 F
*Wednesday, May 14 - Partly cloudy. High 81 F / Low 64 F
*Thursday, May 15 - Rain. High 72 F / Low 62 F
*Friday, May 16 - Partly cloudy. High 75 F / Low 60 F
*Saturday, May 17 - Partly cloudy. High 75 F / Low 60 F
*Sunday, May 18 - Partly cloudy. High 75 F / Low 60 F
(OOC: Would you like to submit a story, or be featured in this paper? Let me know!)
no subject
Those that weren't... well. The strong needed something to practice on.
Either way, this day finds the Evil Warriors having a well-deserved break deep in the cavernous depths of Snake Mountain. They can presently be found huddled in one such cavern, and apparently enjoying a good laugh over something Beastman found out there in the Fayren woods.
At least until....
"What are you idiots laughing about?" Skeletor's voice cuts off the laughter, replacing it with a horrified silence as the Warriors turn to face their master, with Beastman holding the newspaper behind his back. "What is that?"
"N-nothin', boss. We were just laughin' about somethin' funny that happened out there today." Beastman stammers out as he looks from side to side for... well... help, only to find the others quietly stepping back.
"Is that right?" The Lord of Destruction moves closer. "Well, then, I'm sure you won't mind sharing. Let me see just what's so amusing."
The sense of dread and panic in the air grows even thicker. Beastman's starting to sweat through his furry hide.
"It's n-nothin', really. I bet you wouldn't even think it was--"
"I said let me see it." There is no arguing with the command in Skeletor's words and so, with a heavy gulp and an even heavier heart, Beastman steps up and places the newspaper into Skeletor's outstretched hand.
There's a long, long stretch of silence as Skeletor reads the front page and the Evil Warriors stand there sweating bullets. Red lights burn in his eye sockets briefly before dimming out and Skeletor....
... chuckles.
"Oh, yes, very amusing, and such an adorable little creature." Beastman casts a confused look back at the others who all shrug, helplessly. "Well, since you all seem to love kittens so much, it seems only right that I let you play with one."
Confusion gives way to horror immediately as Skeletor snaps his fingers and there's a roar from the shadows. Panthor leaps from the darkness and into the midst of the Evil Warriors who are already scrambling in a panicked rush to escape the swiping claws and snapping teeth of the massive, purple cat. The group of them take off down the hallways with Panthor in hot pursuit, screams and roars echoing as they go.
Meanwhile, the accursed newspaper bursts into flames in Skeletor's hand and he lets it drop to the ground.
Wretched Tribune.