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Newspaper - Saturday Edition
[Did you subscribe to The Genessia Tribune? Did you even remotely wish you had a newspaper or some other form of media to refer to for news, weather, and current events? Then you're in luck! There's a paperboy riding through the streets of Genessia flinging newspapers onto doorsteps or, if you're unlucky, through your window. Even remote locations in the other cities will still get a paper if one of the residents ever wanted one. The Paperboy is just that dedicated.]
[And if you're one of the following people, and you happen to subscribe to the newspaper, the Paperboy may or may not have flung the newspaper through that person's window and/or broke something in the area: Marceline, James T. Kirk, Vladislaus Dracula, and Daimon Winter.]
Get a Job You Lazy Bums
In response to the alarmingly high unemployment rate in the cities, officials have elected to organize a week-long job fair to help the unmotivated degenerates do something to contribute to society. "We blame the overly generous welfare program to welcome new people into the city," says Jack Adams, owner of the bar and karaoke club aptly named 'Jack's Place.' "It's six months of funds, and unless they blow it all immediately, they're just going to sit around and expect other people to take care of them. It's deplorable! That's not how the economy works!" Other folks place the blame on weak-willed landlords who are unwilling to evict residents who are tardy or negligent with their rent. "Some of these guys can punch through brick walls, or crush my head like a grape! What am I supposed to do?" was Rick Brooks' response to public criticisms. Brooks is the landlord of the infamously ill-kept Binford Gardens apartment building, nicknamed 'Garbage Bin Apartments' by some of the other city residents. Perhaps there will be a job opening for a new landlord soon. The job fair will be held from December 8th through the 14th.
Superpowers: Do They Make For Super Politics?
Earlier this week, Captain Hammer announced his intentions to apply for the City Guardian of Genessia. "Who could do the job better?" Hammer replied in an impromptu interview at the laundromat. "We've all seen the remarkably honest video broadcasts from newly arrived villains. The city might welcome this black-hearted rogues into the city, but someone needs to make sure they behave and understand the rule." One rule was all that was needed, he said: misbehave, get hammered. While neatly folding his sparkling white briefs, Hammer added, "There's no way of knowing who's going to show up next. There's some job fair thing going on tomorrow, right? I might hire a few people to help out, get people on their feet." Those who intend to run against Captain Hammer...fools that they may be...have one week to announce their eligibility before a citywide poll is held. At that time, the new City Guardian will be announced.
Cold Noses, Warm Hearts
Are you a lonely sadsack? How about responding to our preliminary singles survey? Fill out the form below and send it in to see your ad in next week's paper! Names will not be shown, so be sure to include your radio frequency number. Who knows? You might meet someone dreamy! Or a creepy stalker! Try your luck today!
Everglade Spooks on the Rise
Several graves in the Everglade cemetery have been found open. While this is nothing new for this particular satellite city, the size of the open holes is remarkably large, moreso than usual. "You know how trolls are big over in Fayren? It's like someone buried those jerks over here and WHOA HOWDY BIG SURPRISE they decided to become zombies. YOU #%*HOLES!" proclaimed John Resnick, long-time resident of Everglade. Several reports have been made concerning the unusually large zombies, and there have been many corpses found on the outskirts of the city that appear to have been physically torn apart by someone pulling very hard on both ends. These things appear to see flawlessly in the dark, and are ridiculously strong. Visitors and residents are asked to exercise extreme caution.
Your Weather Forecast
Genessia
*Sunday, December 8 - Cloudy. High 35 F / Low 32 F
*Monday, December 9 - Rain. High 47 F / Low 32 F
*Tuesday, December 10 - Mostly cloudy. High 35 F / Low 24 F
*Wednesday, December 11 - Partly cloudy. High 33 F / Low 20 F
*Thursday, December 12 - Mostly sunny. High 29 F / Low 21 F
*Friday, December 13 - Sunny! High 36 F / Low 31 F
*Saturday, December 14 - Partly cloudy. High 38 F / Low 33 F
Attleton
*Sunday, December 8 - Snow showers. High 28 F / Low 13 F
*Monday, December 9 - Partly cloudy. High 22 F / Low 13 F
*Tuesday, December 10 - Sunny! High 39 F / Low 16 F
*Wednesday, December 11 - Mostly sunny. High 34 F / Low 12 F
*Thursday, December 12 - Sunny! High 41 F / Low 24 F
*Friday, December 13 - Partly cloudy. High 43 F / Low 26 F
*Saturday, December 14 - Cloudy. High 35 F / Low 22 F
Everglade
*Sunday, December 8 - Mostly sunny. High 32 F / Low 19 F
*Monday, December 9 - Partly cloudy. High 35 F / Low 28 F
*Tuesday, December 10 - Cloudy. High 39 F / Low 31 F
*Wednesday, December 11 - Cloudy. High 41 F / Low 33 F
*Thursday, December 12 - Showers. High 42 F / Low 39 F
*Friday, December 13 - Few showers. High 45 F / Low 41 F
*Saturday, December 14 - Showers. High 47 F / Low 42 F
Fayren
*Sunday, December 8 - Partly cloudy. High 51 F / Low 45 F
*Monday, December 9 - Partly cloudy. High 50 F / Low 42 F
*Tuesday, December 10 - Mostly sunny. High 48 F / Low 36 F
*Wednesday, December 11 - Sunny! High 48 F / Low 37 F
*Thursday, December 12 -Sunny! High 47 F / Low 40 F
*Friday, December 13 - Cloudy. High 46 F / Low 42 F
*Saturday, December 14 - Scattered showers. High 48 F / Low 44 F
Nova City
*Sunday, December 8 - Mostly sunny. High 53 F / Low 38 F
*Monday, December 9 - Cloudy. High 55 F / Low 48 F
*Tuesday, December 10 - Showers. High 58 F / Low 40 F
*Wednesday, December 11 - Partly cloudy. High 55 F / Low 40 F
*Thursday, December 12 - Sunny! High 54 F / Low 36 Fa
*Friday, December 13 - Sunny! High 54 F / Low 38 F
*Saturday, December 14 - Mostly sunny. High 50 F / Low 37 F
(OOC: Would you like to submit a story, or be featured in this paper? Let me know! Here's a list of columns I'd like to see:
*Dear Abby
*Spotlight on Genessia Citizens
*Horoscopes
*Movie Reviews
*Singles Page)
[And if you're one of the following people, and you happen to subscribe to the newspaper, the Paperboy may or may not have flung the newspaper through that person's window and/or broke something in the area: Marceline, James T. Kirk, Vladislaus Dracula, and Daimon Winter.]
Get a Job You Lazy Bums
In response to the alarmingly high unemployment rate in the cities, officials have elected to organize a week-long job fair to help the unmotivated degenerates do something to contribute to society. "We blame the overly generous welfare program to welcome new people into the city," says Jack Adams, owner of the bar and karaoke club aptly named 'Jack's Place.' "It's six months of funds, and unless they blow it all immediately, they're just going to sit around and expect other people to take care of them. It's deplorable! That's not how the economy works!" Other folks place the blame on weak-willed landlords who are unwilling to evict residents who are tardy or negligent with their rent. "Some of these guys can punch through brick walls, or crush my head like a grape! What am I supposed to do?" was Rick Brooks' response to public criticisms. Brooks is the landlord of the infamously ill-kept Binford Gardens apartment building, nicknamed 'Garbage Bin Apartments' by some of the other city residents. Perhaps there will be a job opening for a new landlord soon. The job fair will be held from December 8th through the 14th.
Superpowers: Do They Make For Super Politics?
Earlier this week, Captain Hammer announced his intentions to apply for the City Guardian of Genessia. "Who could do the job better?" Hammer replied in an impromptu interview at the laundromat. "We've all seen the remarkably honest video broadcasts from newly arrived villains. The city might welcome this black-hearted rogues into the city, but someone needs to make sure they behave and understand the rule." One rule was all that was needed, he said: misbehave, get hammered. While neatly folding his sparkling white briefs, Hammer added, "There's no way of knowing who's going to show up next. There's some job fair thing going on tomorrow, right? I might hire a few people to help out, get people on their feet." Those who intend to run against Captain Hammer...fools that they may be...have one week to announce their eligibility before a citywide poll is held. At that time, the new City Guardian will be announced.
Cold Noses, Warm Hearts
Are you a lonely sadsack? How about responding to our preliminary singles survey? Fill out the form below and send it in to see your ad in next week's paper! Names will not be shown, so be sure to include your radio frequency number. Who knows? You might meet someone dreamy! Or a creepy stalker! Try your luck today!
Everglade Spooks on the Rise
Several graves in the Everglade cemetery have been found open. While this is nothing new for this particular satellite city, the size of the open holes is remarkably large, moreso than usual. "You know how trolls are big over in Fayren? It's like someone buried those jerks over here and WHOA HOWDY BIG SURPRISE they decided to become zombies. YOU #%*HOLES!" proclaimed John Resnick, long-time resident of Everglade. Several reports have been made concerning the unusually large zombies, and there have been many corpses found on the outskirts of the city that appear to have been physically torn apart by someone pulling very hard on both ends. These things appear to see flawlessly in the dark, and are ridiculously strong. Visitors and residents are asked to exercise extreme caution.
Your Weather Forecast
Genessia
*Sunday, December 8 - Cloudy. High 35 F / Low 32 F
*Monday, December 9 - Rain. High 47 F / Low 32 F
*Tuesday, December 10 - Mostly cloudy. High 35 F / Low 24 F
*Wednesday, December 11 - Partly cloudy. High 33 F / Low 20 F
*Thursday, December 12 - Mostly sunny. High 29 F / Low 21 F
*Friday, December 13 - Sunny! High 36 F / Low 31 F
*Saturday, December 14 - Partly cloudy. High 38 F / Low 33 F
Attleton
*Sunday, December 8 - Snow showers. High 28 F / Low 13 F
*Monday, December 9 - Partly cloudy. High 22 F / Low 13 F
*Tuesday, December 10 - Sunny! High 39 F / Low 16 F
*Wednesday, December 11 - Mostly sunny. High 34 F / Low 12 F
*Thursday, December 12 - Sunny! High 41 F / Low 24 F
*Friday, December 13 - Partly cloudy. High 43 F / Low 26 F
*Saturday, December 14 - Cloudy. High 35 F / Low 22 F
Everglade
*Sunday, December 8 - Mostly sunny. High 32 F / Low 19 F
*Monday, December 9 - Partly cloudy. High 35 F / Low 28 F
*Tuesday, December 10 - Cloudy. High 39 F / Low 31 F
*Wednesday, December 11 - Cloudy. High 41 F / Low 33 F
*Thursday, December 12 - Showers. High 42 F / Low 39 F
*Friday, December 13 - Few showers. High 45 F / Low 41 F
*Saturday, December 14 - Showers. High 47 F / Low 42 F
Fayren
*Sunday, December 8 - Partly cloudy. High 51 F / Low 45 F
*Monday, December 9 - Partly cloudy. High 50 F / Low 42 F
*Tuesday, December 10 - Mostly sunny. High 48 F / Low 36 F
*Wednesday, December 11 - Sunny! High 48 F / Low 37 F
*Thursday, December 12 -Sunny! High 47 F / Low 40 F
*Friday, December 13 - Cloudy. High 46 F / Low 42 F
*Saturday, December 14 - Scattered showers. High 48 F / Low 44 F
Nova City
*Sunday, December 8 - Mostly sunny. High 53 F / Low 38 F
*Monday, December 9 - Cloudy. High 55 F / Low 48 F
*Tuesday, December 10 - Showers. High 58 F / Low 40 F
*Wednesday, December 11 - Partly cloudy. High 55 F / Low 40 F
*Thursday, December 12 - Sunny! High 54 F / Low 36 Fa
*Friday, December 13 - Sunny! High 54 F / Low 38 F
*Saturday, December 14 - Mostly sunny. High 50 F / Low 37 F
(OOC: Would you like to submit a story, or be featured in this paper? Let me know! Here's a list of columns I'd like to see:
*Dear Abby
*Spotlight on Genessia Citizens
*Horoscopes
*Movie Reviews
*Singles Page)
no subject
Hey, Rick, when I don't have a garbage bag where my window is supposed to be anymore we'll talk about getting rent on time.
-Harry Dresden
104