[Video]

[guitar_hero]

[he is in another office. A much smaller one, with a much lower quality desk. In fact everything seems to speak out of it being: 'the new guy's' space, from the ancient carpet to the wood grain paneling that resembles more plastic than wood. At least he's got a spinny chair which he is sitting on, legs crossed at the ankle, propped up on the flimsy desk and slowly rotating back and forth as he plays with a pen]

You know I've never much been one for the rhythms of every day life. Get up, get dressed, go to school, go home, get your splines reticulated, go to bed. Much prefer to be out there [points at the ceiling with the pen] Doing... something. Doing whatever.

Odd what you can get used to. Even tedium.

That being said, hey! [he grins and claps his hands, rubbing them together.] Almost time for school again! That's one thing to look forward to, isn't it? Acquisition of knowledge. Doodling in notebooks. Skiving off to go snog behind the phys ed building. Used to do that all the time when I was in school. Couldn't keep me pinned down. Even if there wasn't any one to snog. Sometimes I made it up.

But, with any luck I'll be on the other side of the desk, stuffing willing and not so willing brains full of facts until they fill numb with it. For instance, everyone knows that a pulsar is a collapsed neutron star that underwent a supernova,and it emits bursts of radiation. But every now and again, in a quintillion to one chance... that's a 1 and eighteen zeros, that a quantum pulsar will be formed from the heart of that star-- and what you will get as it pulses and dies, slowly crushed by the weight of its own gravity, are flashes of time. The past. The future. The present. All rippling outward, unseen and unheard and unknown except by the lucky few who happen to be there at the right place.

Mind you they can't be there for very long...not if they want to live.

But just knowing something like that is out there, knowing that something like that can even exist-- makes the universe stunning, doesn't it? So much to see and do and explore...

[he trails off, looking at his pen which he's holding between two fingers, as if it's absorbed his attention, murmuring to himself]

But here we are, clinging to the skin of this tiny little world, smaller than most, wrapped up in petty concerns, money, work, romance, where we're going to live the next however long we're here because time is running out when no-- time doesn't work like that. It just... exists... and we move through it. And if we're very clever we can find a way to use it well.

Which you can. [he sits upright again] With any luck. Attleton University. My class. Three days a week and twice on Thursdays. Auditing is available. See you there.

[swings away, swings back]

Oh and I'm coming back in about three hours. But not for long.

And if you don't get it, don't worry. That part of the message is not for you.

[end feed]

Comments

[guitar_hero]

[what do you mean? He may not be a kid but he is the epitome of fresh and with it. He takes the lemon and squeezes it into his tea before sucking it right off the rind to get the sweetness out before his tongue curls in on itself.

He, however, caught that light. Oh yes indeed]

Plan to pick up another spouse or three while you're here?

[said oh so causally]

[polyandrist]

Why, do you think the two I've got aren't enough?

[Oh yes, that was said in the flirtiest of flirty ways, because she's going to count Eleven and Twelve but not Ten for obvious reasons.]

[guitar_hero]

Me and who else? [that was fast. Though he's learned there are different levels of spouse according to River and some were more rainy day spouses than actual commitments]

[polyandrist]

[And River just raised an eyebrow at him, stretching out her legs below her dress with a smirk.]

You, of course. I don't need to collect spouses when you're around.

[guitar_hero]

No. Noo don't count us as two, come on. We're one. Just one single person. Bad enough that we're more separated than usual but once you start separating us out the existential crisesing sets in and trust me, no one wants to deal with that.

[polyandrist]

Alright, love. I'll call you one. Because that's not going to get confusing at all if I need to introduce you both to someone else.

[And River's just going to keep smirking over here.]

[guitar_hero]

Look don't think of it as some casual: 'oh he's just being a strange old Time Lord' thing. I can handle this because I'm me and brilliant but it's not easy. As it happens I have to stay away from myself just because being near myself makes things complicated and don't get me even started on drama. You're lucky we got married before all this hit the proverbial fan or I wouldn't've bothered.

[okay well he got a bit off topic near the end but well, who else is he going to ramble to? In any case he sips his tea and pretends it's not a big deal]

[polyandrist]

[Well, what is marriage for if not to listen when one's love life (and life in general) has gone completely mad? River just takes a sip of her tea and makes a face before she reaches down and adds some sugar to her own. And then she settles back once again to watch him.

But she does know about staying away from the other him because she's doing the same thing.]

Are things still that bad with him? I thought things were getting better. Or at least I'd hoped so. He's got Rose and Jack and Martha, so you'd think that'd be enough to keep him out of trouble for at least a little while.

[guitar_hero]

Well it's not him. Or just him. It's just... [he waves a hand] Everything. It's why I'm here, isn't it, and not there. But... humans. Such fragile things. With exceptions so trapped to time and [he sucks his teeth a bit, wrinkling his nose] Expectations. And it seems that over time... spent with me or in pursuit of...makes them hard. [of course River is already. But River is not entirely human. She's in between. Other. Close enough of one but not enough of another.]

Funny how it's true. Be careful what you wish for. Even distantly. [he takes another sip and then makes a face] I know you've got something stronger.

[polyandrist]

[River wasn't entirely either, and sometimes that made things hard. But she doesn't comment on that. Instead she just sat back and opened up the bottom drawer of her desk. He was right, of course, and River pulled out a bottle of whiskey, and two clean mugs because well... why bother to hide your liquor if you've got the glasses around?

For a second she doesn't say anything, instead pouring a generous amount in each mug and handing one to him.]

Well, my love, it's hard to go traveling around the universe with your heart on your sleeve. Just seeing the things there can break it, even without you.

[Then she gave him a perspective look.]

What has Rose done?

[guitar_hero]

Mm. {he agrees with her, which is the sad thing. But what can he say? They brought it on themselves? That it's the consequence? He wanted to say that he hoped he'd left them better than they started out but that's more self-pitying than he generally gets into these days and it's more of a blatant lie. Because he knows sometimes it's better and sometimes it's worse and sometimes they leave him because they want to, sometimes he leaves them, and sometimes neither of them has much choice of the matter.

He pours them both whiskey and sits back, cradling his cup. It won't do anything to him, hardly strong enough for one, but it's the principle of the thing. He purses his lips a bit at the mention of Rose, wondering what to tell her. It's such a loaded question and he's never forgotten who River is or what he means to her. And Rose, well, has always been a bit in her own camp. Relief and regret all at once]

Oh you know. Learning. [he takes a sip of the whiskey] Entering that messy area of time and space and etcetera where you have to decide whether you want to continue to be what you are or embrace something else. Also entering the great disappointments. Space Father Christmas got you a pony you'd never really thought you'd get and now you have to figure out what to do with it and what it's got to do with you.

[he waves a hand. Dismissing it mostly]

Can't fault her for it. But she does get a bit difficult to talk to because nothing satisfies. Earth is still in her heart and she wants to take it wherever she goes.

[and by Earth he means certain social and societal mores she hasn't let go of-- and is probably homesick as well. Not of Earth specifically, but the life she knew. One foot on the ground at home, the other in the stars with only one hand to hold which was hers--occasionally sharing with Jack.]

It is what it is. [though sometimes he wishes it wasn't]

[polyandrist]

[If there's anyone who gets that what you expect and what you end up when it comes to the Doctor is often radically different it's Melody Pond. After all, when you spend your entire life hearing about the man whom you're supposed to murder, and your mother is half in love with him for the entire time you know her, that's enough. But when you add in the rest? Well, it can be a lot, and she knows that perhaps even better than Rose does.

That said, River isn't jealous of the other woman. If there had been no Rose Tyler, then there would have been no Doctor past the Time War, and she understood that. But she wished that Rose could have had the chance to grow up a bit more like River herself did in the 51st century, because then maybe she wouldn't have been so fixated on this concept of being the only person in the Doctor's hearts. Sometimes, she just thought that if Rose could see the Doctor has having more than one, it would make things easier. But for now, there was nothing to be done about it.

Still, that didn't mean that River couldn't try.]

Do you think my speaking to her will help or would it hurt? I don't want to make things over there any worse than my just showing up did.

[guitar_hero]

[that's a good question. One that he honestly really doesn't know the answer to. It's hard to know what to do about Rose period since she's a powder keg and even very carefully trying to do the right thing feels akin to stepping on a landmine]

Oh well you didn't make it worse. More like triggered an inevitability but what won't these days? As for talking to her, that's your decision. I don't know what will come of it. So take the risk if you choose or not.

[and he sips his whiskey, wishing faintly this him was somewhere else, even if that somewhere else was a tired lecturer guarding a vault]

[polyandrist]

[For a minute, River considered. She considered what it would have been like if she'd expected to be the only one who was at the centre of the Doctor's very vast and very long universe. River knew that she wasn't, so she'd not needed to consider that before. But the things that she'd spoken to Rory about when they were in Utah came back about someone knowing everything about you, and how wonderful that could be. She expected it was the same thing for Rose.

She took another sip of her whiskey as well, and let out a soft sigh.]

I think I'll keep out of it for the moment. I'm already staying away from Pretty Boy, so that hopefully should make things a bit easier.

[A pause and a grin:]

Though sometimes I think I should write a book on meeting someone you love out of time and how not to bollocks it up. If nothing else, I could sell it to almost the whole lot of them and make a mint.