genessia | Nova City Co-Guardians Q&A || [VIDEO]

[ The feed turns on to show the Nova City Guardian's office - instead of being occupied by Weiss Schnee as per usual, someone new is standing in view.

Or two someones, rather.

Mercury steps back from the device, having just turned it on, with Garrus standing a short ways back. A grin touches Mercury's lips (which is nothing new) as he offers a mock salute with his fingers. ]

Weird week, right? I sure didn't expect to find myself here, but. Welp! Things happen.

That makes two of us.

[ Garrus steps forward so he’s standing side by side with Mercury. ]

As you all might have heard, Weiss stepped down from her position as Guardian of Nova City and left the two of us in charge. For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Garrus Vakarian. I’m a former officer of C-Sec’s Investigations Division back home - like a cop since I just realized you have no idea what that means. I also worked under whom I consider to be the greatest commander in my galaxy to help save it, and was in charge of a... team of individuals who were tasked eliminate a haven for criminals and the like.

Me, I’m Mercury Black, but I think I’ve been here long enough that a lot of you have seen my face. I’ll put it this way - by now I know all the rocks people can hide under in Nova City, so do yourself a favor and play nice. Or don’t, but then don’t blame anyone but yourself for what happens once we catch you. And yes, we will catch you.

[ Garrus nods firmly, opening his mouth to add onto that before letting it go. ]

Look, we could go on and on about how qualified we are, why Weiss chose us, how we’re going to uphold the law and not tolerate any injustices and the like, but I think that would bore most of you. What you need to know is that we’re the new Guardians, and we will do our best to keep this city safe.

And if you really have some desperate, burning question that you just have to put out there, then…

[ A beat, before Mercury makes a vague hand gesture towards the camera. ]

I don’t know, maybe ask?

((ooc: This is a joint post for both Mercury and Garrus - questions or comments can be directed to one or both of them! Users can, as always, leave anonymous text responses if they want to be candid or anonymous trolls.))

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

[raises hand]

What happens after you catch someone? [asking for a friend]

I'll answer your question with a question. What did we catch them doing?

Hmmmm... [good question. There's lots of potential stuff] How about an eat'n'run?

Smack you upside the head, make you pay for what you ate plus an enormous tip for all the trouble.

That really depends on the crime. Some offences are just paid off with fines, and others deserve a prison sentence.

What if you don't have the money?

[there's a shout of: 'there he is!' and he's off again, charging through the streets, a chain of sausages round his neck and a pack of dogs round his feet]

[ Snickering. SHE CANT EVEN THINK OF A QUESTION TO ASK HOW DID THIS HAPPEN ]

...

Look, man, if you seriously called us up during our introduction while you were literally mid-crime then I'm sort of tempted to let it slide for having guts.

But not tempted enough.

Don't let this be the foot we start off on.

Didn't know there was a prison! What does someone have to do to get into it. [grabs a bunch of dogs into his arms and jumps up a series of barrels to a rooftop as the mob of miffed restaurateurs grows behind him]

I know! I'm overcome with glee, too.

Wait! [ Okay okay stifling laughter. ] Does this mean you can run for most heroic against next year? I'm still mad you didn't get that.

[passes by a cart selling cotton candy. Runs backwards, grins at the camera and then pulls one off the cart]

Yoink.

[hey! the man snaps, but Ace is off again]

This is good stuff.

I mean, I didn't run this year. I got nominated. So really, next year I better be a shoo-in.

[ Alright, so it's that type of guy. Merc knows it well, because... well, he's like Merc. ]

If you're going to be this bold about it, go all-in and give me a name for the arrest warrant.

Portgas D. Ace, second division commander of the Whitebeard Pirates. [and now with a face covered with cotton candy] Make sure you get a good picture.

[Well that certainly where he was expecting this conversation to go.]

There are certain offences that are more severe than others. Running a red light, for example, isn't nearly as bad as murdering someone, so - what the hell is going on over there?

I don't think there's an angle that'll make you look good, sorry. Maybe put a bag over your head.

Oh they're pretty pissed at me. Not really in the murdering mood, though. [he generally tried to not. Even when he really wanted to.] What about stealing something really expensive?

How about this one? [stops where he is, bends over and gives him a full moon] Suck it uh...what's your name?

City Guardian Mercury Black.

[ She's got stars in her eyes for like two seconds before she starts laughing again. ]

That's... [are you fucking kidding him right now?] Are you seriously talking to us while you're in the middle of committing a crime? You do realize we're the new Guardians, right?

[How did Weiss put up with this bullshit for so long? It's only been one day and he already has a headache.]

Hey, I'll give you this much - it's a noticable improvement.

You can call me whatever you want. Seriously, get creative! It's only going to make it that much funnier when this all comes back to bite you.

You're laughing now, but I'm getting paid more now too.

So.

Maybe keep an eye open for a bigger place.

That's what you said you were. [he frowns] You better not be lying jackasses. [because this takes a lot of effort yo. These dogs are not easy to carry all at once while running on rooftops away from angry mobs you know]

Yeah, because I'm the one that should be lying here. [maybe he should have considered that before he committed the crime!]

You got a name, hot shot? [He's not expecting the guy to give him one, but he didn't expect him to call him in the middle of a robbery either, so it's worth a shot.]

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