[Commercial]

[sailor_v]

[This is clearly an advertisement video, because all of the footage has been recorded, edited, and there's cheesy music playing in the background that may or may not be Minako humming, or someone else with musical talent she roped into making a song. The feed opens on Minako with a big curly black wig a dismal young lady sighing on a bench. Minako's voice plays over the footage.]

Are you feeling lonely? Dateless? Maybe you just don't have a clue about what it takes to experience the springtime of romance!

[Minako The girl on the bench holds out her arms, talking dramatically to the sky.]

If ONLY there were a way to meet people in this city!

'WELL NOW THERE IS!'

[The girl on the bench suddenly gasps with joy, sitting up and looking straight at the camera.]

Nooooo waaaaayyyyyyy!

[YES WAY TED! The doors to Minako's brand new (sort of) matchmaking office are opened by Minako herself, wearing a professional and crisp suit with a stylish yellow scarf knotted around her neck. The camera pulls back, revealing the sign over the shop: 'APHRODITE'S LOVE MATCHMAKING']

[Assuming you haven't immediately turned off your communicator, Minako strides forward and strikes a pose, one hand on her hip, and winks.]

I'm Minako Aino, your goddess of love and romance. And I'm here to help you! Here at Aphrodite's Love Matchmaking, I'll conduct one-on-one interviews...

[It shows Minako with a pad of paper, writing notes as she nods and talks to someone off-screen.]

Create detailed questionnaires designed to measure your preferences, hobbies, and interests...

[Not-Minako is writing dutifully, pausing to tap the pencil eraser to her lips, then checking more boxes with cheerful enthusiasm.]

And find you the perfect match!

[The wigged-Minako looks up at the camera, holding out her arms to show off her frumpy self.]

But I don't know the first thing about dating, or how to talk to someone I like. What do I do?

[Now Minako is in an office chair, spinning around to face the camera.]

Leave it to fashion expert Mina-chan! I'll take you on a day-long tour to find you clothes that suit your uniqueness and tastes, teach you to style your hair, and coach you on what to say and not say when you're with that special someone.

[The image of the girl with the wig flickers rapidly until WHOOOOAAAAA IT TOTALLY TURNS INTO MINAKO THAT IS SO MAGICAL YOU GUYS! She winks, tapping her two fingers to her lips to blow a kiss.]

Call me now to make an appointment! Come find your happiness today!

[The final shot is the business sign once again, and flashing text that says 'CALL NOW! CALL NOW! CALL NOW!']

[Well...she's a hard worker in any case. She may or may not also be sitting at her desk right now, staring eagerly at her communicator as she waits for her first appointment. Do it. You know you've got a morbid curiosity you want to!]