genessia | [Commercial]

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[Commercial]

[This is clearly an advertisement video, because all of the footage has been recorded, edited, and there's cheesy music playing in the background that may or may not be Minako humming, or someone else with musical talent she roped into making a song. The feed opens on ~~Minako with a big curly black wig~~ a dismal young lady sighing on a bench. Minako's voice plays over the footage.]

Are you feeling lonely? Dateless? Maybe you just don't have a clue about what it takes to experience the springtime of romance!

[~~Minako~~ The girl on the bench holds out her arms, talking dramatically to the sky.]

If ONLY there were a way to meet people in this city!

'WELL NOW THERE IS!'

[The girl on the bench suddenly gasps with joy, sitting up and looking straight at the camera.]

Nooooo waaaaayyyyyyy!

[YES WAY TED! The doors to Minako's brand new (sort of) matchmaking office are opened by Minako herself, wearing a professional and crisp suit with a stylish yellow scarf knotted around her neck. The camera pulls back, revealing the sign over the shop: 'APHRODITE'S LOVE MATCHMAKING']

[Assuming you haven't immediately turned off your communicator, Minako strides forward and strikes a pose, one hand on her hip, and winks.]

I'm Minako Aino, your goddess of love and romance. And I'm here to help you! Here at Aphrodite's Love Matchmaking, I'll conduct one-on-one interviews...

[It shows Minako with a pad of paper, writing notes as she nods and talks to someone off-screen.]

Create detailed questionnaires designed to measure your preferences, hobbies, and interests...

[Not-Minako is writing dutifully, pausing to tap the pencil eraser to her lips, then checking more boxes with cheerful enthusiasm.]

And find you the perfect match!

[The wigged-Minako looks up at the camera, holding out her arms to show off her frumpy self.]

But I don't know the first thing about dating, or how to talk to someone I like. What do I do?

[Now Minako is in an office chair, spinning around to face the camera.]

Leave it to fashion expert Mina-chan! I'll take you on a day-long tour to find you clothes that suit your uniqueness and tastes, teach you to style your hair, and coach you on what to say and not say when you're with that special someone.

[The image of the girl with the wig flickers rapidly until WHOOOOAAAAA IT TOTALLY TURNS INTO MINAKO THAT IS SO MAGICAL YOU GUYS! She winks, tapping her two fingers to her lips to blow a kiss.]

Call me now to make an appointment! Come find your happiness today!

[The final shot is the business sign once again, and flashing text that says 'CALL NOW! CALL NOW! CALL NOW!']

[Well...she's a hard worker in any case. She may or may not also be sitting at her desk right now, staring eagerly at her communicator as she waits for her first appointment. Do it. You know ~~you've got a morbid curiosity~~ you want to!]

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[He's older but he's also a hopeless romantic and someone he's very interested is here with him in Genessia.]

Hey kid. This looks like fun.

I'm actually seeing someone but I was curious what kids did these days on dates. I'm hoping to try something new out. [And drag Emma along.]

Got any ideas for an old fart?

I'm glad to hear it! If people are falling in love, then it's my duty to protect that love. So I'll give you a freebie.

[She wags her finger with a proud smile.]

You can't go wrong with roller skating no matter what your age. It's the perfect excuse to hold hands and help each other up. Plus it's a lot of fun and good exercise, too! Afterward you can get a bite to eat and talk about the experience together. Since it's getting chilly, best to stick with an indoor rink for now, unless you're both really good at it and the skies are clear.

[Neal laughs softly.]

That's nice of you.

[He wonders if Emma has every been rollerskating. Neither of their childhoods have been particularly normal so there is always a chance that this will be a new experiance for her.]

Thanks. That sounds like a good idea.

Not sure I know how to skate but it'll be fun either way. [Neal really doesn't mind making a fool of himself. Sometimes it has the most entertaining results.]

Thankfully, you don't need any actual talent for this. Whether you're really good and have a chance to show off, or if you're klutzy and need her to help you figure it out, it's going to work out in your favor.

[She folds her arms with a proud smile. See? She might be fifteen, but when it comes to love, she knows what she's talking about!]

Good to know.

[Neal is talented with a lot of random tasks, so he's not sure how well he'll skate. He'll find out when he takes Emma out.]

Sounds like if I'm lucky I'll be klutzy.

I will try and find a rink or something here.

Good luck!

And if things go well, I won't say no to a personal endorsement of my business.

I'll keep that in mind.

[He waves and then hangs up.]

Oh look! It's the little demon thing from before! No longer dressed as a magical girl. Must have been a Halloween thing.

"Miss! Miss! If you're offering love you should use more hearts!"

[Minako laughs. She does recognize Koishi, but knows the reverse isn't going to be true. She removes her knuckle from her smile.]

If we get enough in the budget to hire a special effects guy, I'll definitely have more hearts next time.

[She winks.]

"Why would you need special effects when you have magic?" Koishi shifted, holding the phone in one tentacle as she held out a hand, conjuring a magical heart. It was pink and glowing and very very cute.

"It's really easy. See, Miss?"

I'm sure it's easy for you! But I'm just a normal girl, no magic for me.

[She laces her fingers under her chin with a happy smile.]

[Totally.]

[Normal.]

Nice job making the heart, though!

"I can help you if you want! Hearts are easy to make and I make them all the time!"

She's not asking for money but Mina would do well to feed the little youkai to keep her from getting into things she shouldn't while looking for food.

[Minako sighs dramatically, dropping her cheek into her hand.]

I'd hire you if I could, but I only just started. I already used what we had in the budget for the wig and costume to make that commercial. What I need is some clients, so I can make better advertisements!

"Nooo!" Koishi waved her hands. "I can help you! I love showing off my danmaku so it's no trouble. Look!"

She raised her hand in the air, tilting the phone up as she fired off a heart. It exploded into a dazzling display of gently curving hearts, spreading out over the buildings before breaking apart into rapidly dissolving rose petals.

Actually, if Minako was in Genessia city she might also be able to see the display out one of the windows.

"See?"

[Minako stares. Okay. That's pretty cool, actually. Too bad she didn't know about this earlier!]

Nice!

[She chuckles.]

Once I make my way up to the owner, I'll redo the commercial professionally. Then you can do your thing, promise.

[Well, a message like this sounds all too familiar. Qubine can't help but let out an amused scoff.]

Well, this sounds familiar. I knew a dragon in my world who loved to do the same thing.

EEP!

[Don't mind her as she fumbles the communicator. And drops it. And peeks down at the screen with wide eyes.]

You're a dragon? And you can speak?

[Qubine blinks at her reaction. Even though he's used to others being intimidated by him, her reaction still manages to surprise him.]

...Yes, I am a dragon. And I can speak.

[And dragons can even play matchmaker, can you believe it!?]

Uh...

[Give her a second, because she wasn't ready for that. She coughs into her fist. Focus, Minako. You're a professional now!]

Well! Nice to meet you, then. I'm afraid I might have to put you on a waiting list for a match, though, since I don't have a pool of other dragon candidates to choose from. Unless you can change your shape to be something else.

[Qubine shakes his head.]

There's no need for that. I already have a mate, thank you.

[And like hell he's going to let anything get in between them.]

Oh.

...

...

...

[Awkward silence.]

So what do you need from me, then?

[There's a brief pause before he responds, because he feels just as awkward.]

...Nothing, really. This just caught my attention because a dragon I know in my world loved to do the same thing...

Hello, Minako. Welcome back! I see you're up to your usual. Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose, eh?

[He may have hung out with a French-dropping demon too much.]

Anyway, is a sideways proposition all right? I'm looking to arrange something with a sociopath.

A harmless, curable one, mind.

...Have we...met?

[She's pretty sure she'd remember someone who dresses that flamboyantly. And what does he mean by 'welcome back'? --NO! She's on the clock, she has to be professional! She clears her throat and quickly straightens, flinging her hair back.]

There's no one so hopeless that they can't be cured by the power of love! Just leave it in my perfectly capable hands!

...

...

So who is it?

Not in person! Mm, so you're one of the ones who've forgotten. Ah well.

Ahah, glad you agree! Yes, those are my thoughts exactly. Just as William Blake said, or agreed to: the unloved cannot love. Or at least have a hard time of it; hopefully whomever you find can be an example.

Oh, it's this gentleman.

[He takes a minute to tap around on his phone before sending over this handsome weeb.]

As you might gather from his countenance, Zexion--a temporary name, don't worry--is a dry one. Fond of dry subject matter and, presumably, the dry pages they're on. An intellectual, or close enough. A girl along those lines might be just the thing.

Oh, and, aheh, do keep all this between us.

Edited 2017-11-06 02:33 (UTC)

WHOA HE'S HOT!

[Minako catches herself, throwing a hand over her mouth to conceal her gasp. Professional. Be professional! She closes that hand into a fist and clears her throat. Remember, Ted said he's a sociopath. He needs her help, not her crushes. ...And she's definitely not an intellectual.]

I'm going to need him to fill out an application form so I can consider the possibilities.

Buuuuuuuut...

If you don't think he would, I can send the form to you and have you fill it out for him.

[That gets a burst of laughter with a pinch of nerves. Should he be happy or worried that she's so very willing to look over his deficits? At least he doesn't want in the looks department.]

Ahaha, well I'm glad he rates so well. Let's hope he has as much success with women more his age, eh?

[Maybe it's a teenager thing?]

Mm, better send me a copy just in case.

[He can probably persistently pester Zexion into just about anything, but if he gets difficult...]

[Minako grumbles under her breath. It's not like she's some gross little snot-nosed kid, she's old enough to date, and Zexion can't be THAT old. Not with a wild style like that!]

[...But it's a moot point, she's not going to date him. She's just going to stalk him and set him up on dates. Like a professional!]

Sending it over now.

Ted's Got Mail!

[For Ted, courtship is but a pretext to one thing: marriage! And families, natch. Something Minako's underdeveloped prefrontal cortex just isn't ready for, the overeager weirdo]

Thank you, let's see what you have...

[His eyes quickly scan the list, chuckling. This is gonna be an adventure in teeth-pulling, he can just tell. He'll probably have to fill out most of this himself and make educated guesses.]

Ahaha, well! I'll do my best. Thanks for the help, "beautiful child"; let's see if we can't find this beast a beauty, eh?

Just leave it to me!

...And what about you?

[Uh-oh, run Ted.]

Shouldn't you be filling out one of these forms for yourself too?

[He would never run from Aphrodite or her acolytes. Love must be run to!]

Oh, you're good. Can tell a bachelor just from looking, eh?

That's kind of you to offer, but I'm afraid there's no women here that meet even the most minimum of requirements just yet.

NONE?! But there are hundreds of interesting, smart, and pretty girls in this world!

[She is alarmed for you, Ted.]

It's great to have high standards and all. But if your expectations are too impossible, you might miss out on someone really amazing who could change your life in all kinds of great ways!

[Aww. She's so sincere, so passionate. Would that he could be an outlet to that. Alas.]

Hundreds? Plural? You've done a census? A hundred I'm prepared to grant.

[Cause no way Jose is he counting the sprites. Real women only plz.]

Ahah! Impossible? Goodness, I hope not, or you're all doomed! Maybe even damned!

I don't think the standard especially high. You see, I've a strict no-heathens policy. The woman must love God before we could satisfactorily love each other. If I'm to walk her down a church aisle, I'd prefer it not be her first, haha.

Edited 2017-11-28 07:03 (UTC)

[Doomed? Wha...? Minako doesn't get it, but shrugs and keeps listening. She supposes if he's searching for religious similarities, it's understandable. Calling people 'heathens' seems a little dramatic (and rude).]

So you need a generic type of religious belief, or is it more specific?

[That's the term; that it's colorful only adds to the charm for him.]

Generic? Goodness, what...oh, you mean denomination? I'm not especially picky about that; nothing too silly like Gnosticism or something. So long as she's a good, Christian girl, all's well. Got to be "equally yolked", the saying goes.

That makes sense. Religion is a pretty big deal for some people, so you'd definitely want to date someone who likes the same one, or at least respects it. I'll see what I can do!

[Ted's lucky, at least in being from a world where there are so many people from it or from different versions of what's basically the same thing.]

[He would've thought so; Earth and Genessia have much in common. Yet he's met priests and even a purported angel once, and upon inspection there's always something wrong at the bottom of them. Nothing's named after saints, and the only tribute the world pays holiness are the holidays. An oddly secular place, and it contributes to the reason he stands out so much. Beyond just being a weirdo.]

Aheh, I wish you luck then. Make sure to do the same for our strangely-haired sociopath, please.

*It says call now, so Sonico does. That's less scary than a video call anyway. Still, there's no denying how nervous she is by her voice*

H-hello. I was just wondering...if you could help with the what to say thing? Or even...even what to do? This is - all very new to me...

You bet I can! I'll set up common dating scenarios so you can practice until you feel comfortable enough to try out the real thing. It'll be a snap!

Really? And - does it work? It'll make me less...awkward?

I can pretty much guarantee it. The more you repeat an action, the easier it is to do, right? Like sports!

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