Hagiogroaphy [Audio]

[youfool]

[This is how Ted spends his evenings in boot camp: farting around on the phone. This time it's seasonal.]

Last year around this yuletide time, many were in the dark as to who Santa Claus, that mysterious, nigh-omnipresent gift giver, really was. Allow me to illuminate.

A little under 1700 years ago, the true faith wasn't as organized as it ought to have been. Emperor Constantine set to fix that, summoning bishops to his First Ecunemical Council to see what was and was not orthodox.

Saint Nicholas, from whom the name "Santa Claus" comes, was one such, having under his belt a variety of saintly good deeds. Raising the dead, baptizing his own jailer, rescuing slaves from captivity, and yes, the anonymous gift-giving he's so well known for. It started out as leaving bits of gold in shoes for unmarried daughters; you needed a good dowry for that in those times.

But back to the council. The primary controversy centered around whether the Son of God was equivalent to God Himself. The answer is "yes", by the way, but they hadn't reached such an accord just then. A fierce debate raged, with St. Nick on the side of the affirmative, while the ones impugning Christ's divinity were headed up by the heresiarch Arius.

Most of us, at one time or another, have had the misfortune of weathering nonsense about a subject we like. Given that the subject was God and that, being a bishop, Saint Nicholas loved Him very much, it grew to be profoundly intolerable.

[There's a dramatic pause as Ted's voice turns to a more excited pitch.]

So he smote that heretic with his fist! Knocked him down flatter than a pine tree, hahaha!

[You can hear the rustling of leaves as Ted sat back down, recovering from his own enthusiasm.]

As you might expect, that's not very seemly behavior for a bishop, so they put him in jail. No jail could hold him for long, of course; Christ himself had a hand in his release. If that's not vindication, I don't know what is. Once the dust settled, the council saw the light and accepted the truth. A happy ending if ever there was one. Unless you're an Arian, of course. You'd better not be!

St. Nicholas, in addition to his holiday rounds, continues to be the patron saint of children and those who brave the dangers of the sea; thank God for him.

So, if you find any heretics who aggressively won't give Christ His due, be sure to "deck their halls". It's what Santa would want.

[Was that the moral of the story, Ted?]

Oh, and uh, be of good cheer, of course. It's very early, but merry Christmas!

Comments

[Video]

[bigbadrose]

[OOC NOTE: delayed until the morning of the 2nd because she was busy being a heretic ta!]

You have the strangest takes on history of everyone I've ever met; including all my teachers, and all my ex-boyfriends -- one of whom just made stuff up for rhymes.

Re: Audio

[youfool]

I'm tempted to say that's impossible, given the many, many adventures you've had.

[To say nothing of what a "take on history" even means with her time travel silliness.]

Re: Audio

[bigbadrose]

And therefore you should feel honored. Or accomplished, at the very least.

[text]

[vicious_slice]

Where do the reindeer fit in

Re: [audio]

[youfool]

[Hey, that's an American thing! That must mean Metal Man's American; i.e., much cooler.]

They pull his sleigh, of course. They don't do too badly in colder climes either.

[audio]

[vicious_slice]

Uh huh

Your story is kind of, uh.

I mean I can understand fighting. I was made for it and all.

But the whole human thing where you use force to challenge people's beliefs? Not really something I agree with. Fighting to prove your power, genius, whatever, that's one thing. But all this "heathen" stuff? Definitely not.

[Audio]

[melodiouspacifist]

Sorry, but knowing as much about the church as I do, I'm not interested in what Christ has to say.

He's not owed anything.

Re: [Audio] [Private]

[youfool]

[Part of him--a pretty substantial one--wants to jeer and make fun. Buuut 'tis the season, so he'll try something a little more lovingkind. Goodness knows he's detonated milder conversations. He never expected Demyx to know about Christ, let alone be so uniquely upset by Him.]

The Church is, at best, Christ's Bride, not the man himself.

Is something the matter, Demyx? I'll listen if you like.

[Audio] [Private]

[melodiouspacifist]

They act in His name don't they? Strive to live as he would?

[He snorts softly.]

No, nothing is the matter exactly. I have my reasons for hating the church and everything it stands for, because I was born a heretic and they'd be quite happy if I was killed. Preferably by them.

video;

[twin_tailed_wolf]

So let me get this straight...

In order to "be of good cheer" and show your appreciation for this "Christ" guy, you need to go around and punch people in the face?

Re: audio forever

[youfool]

That chiefly depends on whether they're Arians.

Otherwise, it's the usual: worship, confessing your sins and shriving your soul, looking after the poor, the widows, and the afflicted, and so on.

I'm fond of caroling, myself.

[As Winter can attest.]

Re: audio forever

[twin_tailed_wolf]

Uh huh, uh huh. And who are these "Arians" you keep bringing up?

Are they the ones you "deck the halls" with?

[Video]

[om_nom_namur]

This 'xplains so damn much.

Re: [Video]

[youfool]

Hah, I'm glad.

[He'll blithely assume Namur means he explained Santa so well.]

[Video]

[om_nom_namur]

So how come when I beat the shit outta y' y' don't change yer mind t' think I'm right?

Audio

[savage_nymphxii]

You're spouting nonsense. Preaching isn't exactly something I want to hear on my feed. I had enough of that when I was young. Condemnation and the like. My parents were good little church goers who were ashamed of their daughter with a mind of her own. Call me a heretic, but don't be pushing your hypocrisy on me.

Re: Audio

[youfool]

[Hang on, let him get his catchword bingo card. "Hypocrisy", "Condemnation", "Preaching", "mind of my own". Darn, no "judgmental"? Well, you can't win them all. From that he gathers Arelen is more interested in venting than any productive talk.

He should try and be nice anyway.]

Something you'd like off your chest?

Audio

[sincerepurity]

You sure know a lot about Christmas!

I actually didn't know most of the background until I moved to America with my family. In Japan, we just celebrate Santa and the gift giving and good cheer. It's really commercialized, but in America, that's when I heard all about the interesting religious aspect. I had a lot of friends who celebrated in different ways.

I'm not a big fan of lectures and school, but you actually kept my attention!

Re: Audio

[youfool]

[With audio, you can't hear him blush]

Aheh, thank you Mimi, you're as complimentary as ever. Yes, America is utterly enamored with the tradition.

[As you can tell because he talked about it the second it turned December]

Glad I managed to avoid some of the customary dryness of the thing. All very important, of course. Goodness knows there's many saints and lots to say and know about them.

So you moved to the States, then? Whatever for?

[Video]

[wonderland_vogue]

What absolutely garbage nonsense is all of this? And if you try to "deck my halls" or whatever, good luck.

[A brief pause, she might be a liiiittle defensive.]

Though this "Santa Claus" with the gift giving thing sounds like Candlenights' Star King. Which is... intriguing, I suppose.

Re: [Audio]

[youfool]

[He would engage, but it's Lydia. Nothing good can come from a face rocking that 20th level smug.]

[Audio]

[liveandforgive]

... huh. The more you know.

Re: [Audio]

[youfool]

Happy to be of service, Cloud. Did--

--er, where do you hail from, anyway?

[Audio]

[cursed_analysis]

[There's a long sigh.]

Ted~

[Actually that wasn't a sigh, Arro is ready to explain you a thing.]

You've forgotten the parts about Saturnalia, the Lord of Misrule, and what a fine, inebriated celebration Christmas had roots in.

Re: [Audio]

[youfool]

[Sorry Arro, Ted's read far too much to ever be educated again.]

Well if it isn't Arro "Candy" Caine.

Hah, the entire holiday is outside my scope, unless you'd like me to cover that too. No, I haven't forgotten. I know full well what barbarous pagan things exist before Christendom finds and baptizes them. The Lord of Misrule has to make way for the Lord of Hosts. Saturn will have to content himself as a weekend.

[This is why heathens can't have nice things]